Are women attracted to more feminine men? If so, why?

upalse · 2020-12-26T02:25:21+00:00

Do they fit the “trope”? As in, is that the scene that they hang out in? Because that’s everything. A guy that wears eyeliner and hangs out with musicians and artists fits the trope and is hot. A guy that wears eyeliner and nail polish but only hangs out with Wall Street bros is a weirdo. They also have to be stylish and fit enough to pull it off; feminine can be hot. Dad bod and polo shirts/new balances can be hot too if you’re in the south and hang out with frat bros that kinda look like that- there will be a girl in that scene super into you. Find your niche and almost anything can be hot. All guys should just try and build social capital within their niche or find an easier niche group to appeal to if there’s too much of a gender imbalance.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-12-26T02:55:07+00:00

Because they are one of the many "type" of men women find attractive: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kg558f/q4w_whats_your_side_of_the_story_with_the_women/ggcmi5p/?context=3

They would be #8. All socially rebellious men have style. So they are attractive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HpgtW8tGfA

Style is the answer to everything,
A fresh way to approach a dull or dangerous thing,
To do a dull thing with style is preferable to doing a dangerous thing without it,
To do a dangerous thing with style is what I call art.

Bullfighting can be an art,
Boxing can be an art,
Loving can be an art,
Opening a can of sardines can be an art.

Not many have style.
Not many can keep style.
I have seen dogs with more style than men,
although not many dogs have style.
Cats have it with abundance.

When Hemingway put his brains to the wall with a shotgun,
that was style.
Or sometimes people give you style
Joan of Arc had style,
John the Baptist,
Christ,
Socrates,
Caesar,
García Lorca.

SmurfESmurferson · 2020-12-26T03:19:48+00:00

Do none of you guys remember the 90s? Brad Pitt and Kurt Cobain did it way back then

And they still have fangirls

Monalisa1Overdrive · 2020-12-26T04:43:59+00:00

Maybe some people don't want to admit it, but the professional world was made by and for men, so if you want to succeed in your career you have to be more like a man. I think there's a lot of pressure for women to be more aggressive, dominant, and empowered because of new-age feminism, all those traits are necessary if you want to thrive in the professional arena.

You don't need to observe in an obsessive way the agenda behind all the tv shows and movies: feminine women are archaic, feminine women are weak, feminine women are the past. All the praise are for adventured, aggressive, and empowered woman.

You won't see a girly girl who wore pink attracted to a feminine man, they would be equals. There wouldn't be a balance. It isn't a surprise that if women are more masculine nowadays, men are more feminine. Men don't have all that pressure they had before.

spacechicken1990 · 2020-12-26T05:09:35+00:00

Younger women tend to find feminine looking men more attractive. As we age this disappears.

Gh0sttttttt · 2020-12-26T03:12:48+00:00

Eh

I like men that are comfortable with themselves and willing ot have fun doing things even if its feminine. For example guys who won't wear pink because it's gay or something. I like men that don't iverthink their masculinity.

WarpedHeadspace · 2020-12-26T02:36:22+00:00

No hard and fast rules. Will always depend on ehat's the culture around you. Look at the beauty standards for Asians: they prefer sleek, cute, more androgynous men, with a flashier fashion. Think K-Pop and J-Pop stars, those anime-looking boys, etc. Even with the different tropes they have for looks, they're all "more feminine" compared to American standards, for example.

2020-12-26T01:16:31+00:00

I like men who are In touch with their feminine side, as long as they don't go too far that way

My type is skinny trousers, floral shirts and big hair. I also like men who have lots of female friends and are quite flounsy and expressive with their hands. Not skinny, but toned.

Noel fielding (Vince noir in the mighty boosh), Russel brand, David Bowie in the labyrinth and Tim minchin.

In a way - their DGAF attitude makes them masculine in my head. Also they're confident, don't take themselves too seriously and they're ALWAYS better in bed. (I've never understood why this is..probably because they're more experienced).

TheMailmanic · 2020-12-26T02:37:56+00:00

There's a theory that women find less masculine men attractive in times of peace and plenty, and more masculine men attractive in times of war and famine

2020-12-26T01:54:09+00:00

homeyloki · 2020-12-26T02:42:59+00:00

I like more feminine men - that is, mostly because I value certain qualities very highly. Empathy, the ability to be emotionally vulnerable, defiance against gender stereotypes, the courage to go after what you want/ need (even if it's not encouraged by society), being affectionate, having 'feminine' hobbies, being a people person. I definitely need someone emotionally deep for a relationship.

I think many women like them (e.g. there are many rather feminine pop stars that are really adored by women -> Harry Styles). The only problem arises if someone thinks being feminine means being submissive to the point of having no other personality and giving others the responsibility for your feelings. I don't think femininity (or even being sexually submissive) has something to do with weakness, and people who act like it, men or women, bore me. Makes me feel weird too, like as if they have a mental illness that makes them not want to live life on their own terms, so they put it in other hands. I don't understand why that's healthy.

Snacksbreak · 2020-12-26T03:02:33+00:00

FOR ME, if a man has enough other manly and/or attractive qualities, feminine things can be attractive. It depends.

One of my exes would paint his nails, which I liked because he was showing confidence. A flowery shirt is the same deal. He had a masculine body and presence though.

Sage_Planter · 2020-12-26T06:33:58+00:00

I tend to be more attracted to more masculine men, but there are more so-called "feminine" routines around appearance that do make men more attractive. For example, I have no idea why anything beyond "I wash my face with soap and water" is considered "for women." Men can also benefit from both proper skin care and regular SPF use.

One of the last men I dated was a gym rat former frat bro alpha type. He was good looking and had an incredible body. The problem was that he didn't seem to know how to dress himself that well, and he refused to invest in good quality skincare products despite having less-than-great skin. It was a bit odd to me that he would happily spend two hours a day lifting but didn't want to spend any time figuring out how to make his facial skin look better.

Atlas__B__Shruggin · 2020-12-26T09:51:33+00:00

I think there is some confusion on what constitutes a “feminine“ man. Younger women are often more attracted to more feminine men, ie less highlight of dimorphic traits. People like rockstars can wear makeup, nail polish etc and still be masculine.

Cimorene86 · 2020-12-26T01:49:50+00:00

I'm attracted to more feminine men, but that's because they have complementary traits to my own. I've never dated a guy who is that overtly feminine that he'd wear a dress, but I did go on dates with guys who'd put on eyeliner and nail polish. Don't know the reason why feminine and/or cis women would be sexually attracted to them, unless they're bi. 🤷

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2020-12-26T01:43:37+00:00

Women will tell you how to make them happy, they won't tell you how to be desirable. Attraction is not necessarily happiness. Women can and will put themselves in situations that make them miserable for their 'right' man.

I don't think feminine women are attracted to feminine men. Maybe masculine women are attracted to feminine men.

Harry Styles isn't a good example. Dude has social, financial, physical proof. A dress isn't going to change that.

Edit: Mbad, I'm a dude. Didn't want to mansplain.

Tundra_Tornado · 2020-12-26T02:29:20+00:00

Personally for me, I'm not very attracted to the behaviour that you mention in the post, ie. Makeup, fashion, other accessories. I think part of it is that I don't really engage in it myself, and it's hard to be attracted to someone who DOES engage in it, as it indicates different personality types. I also think that a lot of guys don't really know how to apply makeup etc, I've seen some male MUAs do it and it can look amazing, but the average feminine straight man usually looks a bit sloppy which I find unattactive also.

But I do guys who are "less masculine" (though not necessarily "more feminine") physically quite attractive, ie. Not overly muscular, no facial hair, not particularly tall. A good example of this would be the appearance of the bassoonist Theo Plath (though that's a meaningless reference if you don't know the classical world haha). The second paragraph isn't exactly related to your question, but I want to point out that not being attracted to very feminine behaviour doesn't mean one is necessarily attracted to stereotypical masculinity, either.

Mimoxs · 2020-12-26T03:14:34+00:00

Gen z/late millenial women mostly yes.

I've noticed it's a generational trend. The girls who are super into it tend to be in the 18-28 age range as of right now.

There's a lot of factors that go into it on an individual and cultural scale. It can have to do with upbringing and male figures in your life, subcultures, and imo very much the media you consume.

There's a big overlap of girls who are into kpop or weeb culture or alt culture especially liking femme men. It could be that the attraction to feminine men influences the liking of these things, but I think it's the other way around.

I dated a crossdresser, but ironically he was on the more masculine side of the guys I've been with.

CanisLupisAutism · 2020-12-26T14:09:34+00:00

Men who do things such as wearing makeup, painting their nails, wearing feminine clothing

Where in tf are you living

2020-12-26T03:31:47+00:00

Women are attracted to men who are tall, have balanced facial features, high shoulder to hips ratio, a full head of hair, prominent jaw structure, well developed airways, a wide palate, and a well-protected eye area. Them maybe being feminine is incidental. Perhaps they're more a fad now because they're more approachable.

AutoModerator · 2020-12-26T01:03:20+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

wtknight · 2020-12-26T01:13:43+00:00

[removed]

2020-12-26T02:29:23+00:00

[removed]

SoA_MC · 2020-12-26T03:50:15+00:00

Not unless they have some sort of fetish

deathbecomesme123456 · 2020-12-26T03:51:40+00:00

Feminine traits, yes, but not men who are on the whole feminine. Guys like James Bay and Harry Styles are sexy because they’re secure. Being in touch with their femininity ends up being masculine.

LittyKitsune · 2020-12-26T04:27:10+00:00

I personally am, but I think for me it has a lot to do with growing up in a household with very conservative/rigid gender roles. My dad was obsessed with making sure that my brother did "boy" things and my mom was dead set on making sure I didn't become a tomboy (succeeded in some ways, not so much in others).

Something about guys who don't care about that stuff is just...fascinating. Like saying fuck you to those types of rigid expectations I grew up with, sometimes intentionally, sometimes naturally.

Willow-girl · 2020-12-26T05:31:18+00:00

No. Just no. No no no no no!

moneygang4life · 2020-12-26T05:33:52+00:00

I honestly think they are but to a point and it depends on the woman

Yokowi · 2020-12-26T06:14:14+00:00

Hmmm...well, I personally like a mix. A guy,who works out and is kinda burly BUT visibly takes care of himself,goes for facials,haircuts often,etc. Luckily I managed to catch me one,too :) So I get the best of both-a very pleasant,sexually attractive appearance,as well as knowing he understands it's important to take care of himself. Plus,we can take care of each other like that too,makes for fun dates-at-home :) Emotions are also important. They show them more,more empathy as well,kindness...that ISH is damn attractive (and IDGAF what any guy here has to say).

Reisiluu · 2020-12-26T10:49:26+00:00

Presentation isn't the core of feminity like they teach you in gender class. A guy who acts and sounds like a guy and wears nail polish is still more masculine than a flamboyant gay guy wearing normal clothes. Men can wear whatever they want as long as they act like men. I assume the reverse is also true because women in loose hoodies and work uniforms are still catcalled.

average-otaku-girl · 2020-12-26T11:38:10+00:00

I think its that they know femininity isn't something to be ashamed off and how we should all embrace feminine and masculine traits. It also shows that they don't feel like their masculinity is threatened because of acting more feminine

short-cosmonaut · 2020-12-26T12:08:21+00:00

Grooming and hygiene are positively correlated with high social stature.

moneygang4life · 2020-12-26T13:53:54+00:00

They’re less threatening and more relatable

NarrowLiterature7322 · 2020-12-26T15:05:44+00:00

yes, and surprisingly feminine presenting men tend to act more masculine personality wise than the other way around. Its really a nice combination if you ask me

Shirley_Schmidthoe · 2020-12-26T17:01:31+00:00

Some are; some aren't, and the definition of "femininity” is very arbitrary.

One thing I noticed is the bishōnen situation—a very popular male standard of beauty in East-Asia that many English-language analysists have described as "feminine"—but I'm not so sure that the East-Asians that keep featuring these characters in their films, television series and video games agree with that it's "feminine". I've never seen them referred to as such in said media and they seem to very often talk about their masculinity.

Such as:

Men who do things such as wearing makeup, painting their nails, wearing feminine clothing, etc.

If you call this "feminine" most of what you call "feminine" is simply "pay attention to one's appearance"? "are women attracted to more beautiful men?" seems a less controversial statement.

I'm not sure what would make Harry Styles "feminine"; I've also seen it David Bowie described as feminine or androgynous but I'm not seeing it either—both are simply quite masculine but seem to be putting quite a bit of effort into their appearance. If you want to call that "feminine" which I also think explains the different interpretations around the bishōnen situation, then that changes quite a bit.

I have seen cases of actually feminine males that not only put effort into their appearance but in fact could easily be mistaken for a female. John McLean for instance would almost certainly be mistaken for a female on this picture.

emeral132 · 2020-12-26T17:08:18+00:00

Makeup is a step too far for me unless it’s eyeliner which can be sexy on an already v attractive guy but most men couldn’t pull it off. To me, having a good sense of style and wearing something slightly feminine like a floral shirt shows conviction, individuality and confidence. Also, these men tend to be more creative, progressive thinkers, more left wing and these types are much more popular to young people.

PreMedGirlCA · 2020-12-26T18:44:45+00:00

I’m attracted to more feminine men. Not so far as wearing makeup and nail polish. But I definitely prefer a man that grooms himself, has style, and comes off as more upper class with an education as extremely attractive. I find myself wanting to impress them. I don’t find “alpha” type men attractive at all. They always seem dumb, overly muscular, and gross.

Sasofa · 2020-12-26T21:28:06+00:00

Because it's attractive right now? What's attractive changes all the time. Kpop men are very high in demand and they wear makeup and aren't particularly huge.

clairerose3 · 2020-12-27T03:41:47+00:00

not genuinely imo

hearyoume14 · 2020-12-27T05:41:39+00:00

Some are,though being well groom is attractive on anyone,culture and groups play into hat.

Also hormonal birth control will effect who a woman is attracted to. It isn't uncommon for a woman to come off of it and not be attracted to her partner anymore.

anonymouscausefuckU · 2020-12-27T06:18:37+00:00

THe1NES · 2020-12-27T08:27:49+00:00

Because the women who find walking vanity projects attractive are vanity projects themselves #notallwomen

whydontyastfu · 2020-12-27T08:58:05+00:00

What a stupid question.

Different strokes for different folks.

mangolover97 · 2020-12-27T23:53:30+00:00

Personally I’m not. I dated a feminine man once but I think a lot of the problem with him is that he embodied all the negative and toxic aspects of femininity with none of the positives.

mountainofjoy · 2020-12-28T22:23:15+00:00

Nah. I like masculinity. Beards, muscular bodies, body hair, men’s clothing, deep voices, etc.

HOWEVER there are things that a lot of people here would consider “feminine” that I appreciate in a man: gentleness, good fashion sense, compassion, etc. My husband is a male dancer and dresses somewhat flamboyantly but he’s still masculine rather than feminine and I appreciate that.

the-charm-quark · 2020-12-30T17:53:29+00:00

the type of women that are usually attracted to feminine men are either bisexuals and/or tops/doms/mascs

infernalwretch · 2020-12-26T02:30:16+00:00

I prefer more feminine guys. They seem more approachable and transparent and less intimidating. Masculinity makes me kinda uncomfortable. It feels intimidating and somehow less transparent. I’m also more attracted to pretty faces and skinnyness rather than bulky muscles, and I’m not obsessed with height. In response to some of the comments I’ve seen, I’m not a masculine girl. I’m not super feminine but more on the feminine side. Would be even more so if I had the time/money to focus on fashion. I don’t see anything wrong with two feminine people being together.

methamphetamile · 2020-12-26T06:29:18+00:00

Oh great, another post where men generalize 50% of the population by suggesting that they’” can only be attracted to one type of partner.

For the last goddamn time, here’s your answer. Some women find feminine men attractive, some don’t. Each woman has different personalities, opinions, likes and dislikes. I think you’ll notice that many different types of men are given attention by women.

PM_ME_SPICY_DECKS · 2020-12-28T21:52:44+00:00

The feminine dudes I know get laid quite a lot and it's actually pretty simple to understand why.

It takes a lot of confidence to present feminine as a man as it violates societal norms
These dudes tend to put a lot of care into their appearance

Another small point is that femme dudes can sometimes connect with women in ways other men don't and they avoid some pitfalls, like they might know about makeup and stuff and they know that makeup is a pain in the ass and won't say the boneheaded things about a girl's makeup that the average guy might.

wtknight · 2020-12-26T01:21:17+00:00

[removed]

Title	Are women attracted to more feminine men? If so, why?
Author	scrubbucino
Upvotes	22
Comments	99
Date	December 26, 2020 1:03 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kk9kzz/are_women_attracted_to_more_feminine_men_if_so_why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-women-attracted-to-more-feminine-men-if-so-why.746663 https://theredarchive.com/post/746663

Comments