Most of the unhealthy theories about dating here come from the simple fact that men outnumber women 4:1 on swipe apps.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-12-16T20:58:05+00:00

Nah.

Most of the unhealthy theories about dating here come from the simple fact that men desire the majority of women more than women desire the majority of men. It has nothing to do with dating apps, specifically. The same behavior that can be seen on those apps can be observed IRL. The behavior is just spilling over into online dating, not necessarily being caused by it, and it's only exaggerated because of the environment of online dating.

Nowhere in the world can you go and have all of your options to view right in front of your face. That causes people to respond in exaggerated fashion.

Bandit174 · 2020-12-16T21:04:31+00:00

Online dating is just an exaggeration of the norms we see in every day life. Men outnumbering women on these platforms is a symptom, not a cause. In this case a symptom of men being both hornier and lonelier than women.

wtknight · 2020-12-16T21:01:22+00:00

Men complain about being considered creepy for cold approaching too, so it's not just a swipe app issue. And even if men go somewhere where there are a lot more women, like Instagram, there are many women who are just not going to engage some guy who sends them DMs just because they aren't open to meeting guys online.

The best way to meet women is through a mixed social group, but the problem is that many men are increasingly asocial these days. It's understandable why men have become more frustrated, but it's more than just swipe apps, and men have either not adapted to the new dating reality, or they have maladapted and retreated into games and online porn.

SmurfESmurferson · 2020-12-16T21:00:59+00:00

I think it’s primarily that swipe apps force the women who use them to adopt a male mating strategy - it’s almost 100% looks-based. Which is not how women primarily vet men - looks are a threshold, not the entire judgement

glintglib · 2020-12-17T11:22:51+00:00

I read an article the other day from a women in early 50s who put up a tinder profile to boost her self esteem after she hit menopause. Get this she got 3000 right swipes within less than a week. she just sat back and reviewed the results or flirted with a few that intrigued her. I should mention she put her age back to 49 which put her in the 40-49 bracket which makes a big difference in not getting filtered out and she gets noticed by all the young desperate for low resistance sex cougar chasers on it, plus what also helps she looks great for her age. Still that's nuts. How many average guys in their prime years get anything close to that.

I suspect the ratio of male to female blows out even more post 45 and when it comes to those women that are slim/fit/feminine online its going to be a case of get in the queue...a long queue to be a contender. lol

Aaren_Augustine · 2020-12-16T20:33:12+00:00

I think its pretty clear most people who are "bitter" have been treated poorly by actual people. Not due to some ratio.

At very least they've constructed theories about the opposite sex due to literal interaction. You aren't seeing generalization. You are often hearing from people with life experience.

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2020-12-16T20:10:42+00:00

Dating doesn’t just come from dating apps, it’s come from social media too, Twitter, Instagram, snapchat , etc. A lot guys do the same shit on social media, even thou there’s the same number of women they still dm them a lot.

M4sterDis4ster · 2020-12-16T21:37:29+00:00

Men outnumber women on dating apps, its not about swipes.

While, this for sure is problem of modern dating, problems men have today are problems which are persistent for about 50 years.

We came to the point in civilization where women prefer looks and status over comfy family guy.

Women make their own money, so money making makes little to no difference for young women today. Women prefer looks over status and status over money.

Vast majority of men are average looking with average status and average bank account. They are average, therefore unattractive and easily replacable.

FastRunner- · 2020-12-17T01:19:14+00:00

Yes, dating apps are a sausage fest. However, this doesn't mean that someone acts differently on a dating app than they do in real life. If a girl says she only wants a guy that's 6 ft or taller on a dating app, she wants the same thing in real life.

Bandit174 · 2020-12-16T21:16:11+00:00

The dynamics of sex/dating favor women even outside of OLD, but the apps definitely exagerate the disparity even further.

SaBahRub · 2020-12-16T20:29:54+00:00

No, most of the unhealthy theories come from the fact that men don’t want to admit that they outnumber women 4:1 on dating apps. Because then they would have to consider the outcomes logical and fair, and have no reason to whine

Similarly, most of the unhealthy theories about dating come from the assumption that women want to fuck as much as men. Because if you don’t have this assumption, dating is logical and fair

TwentyX4 · 2020-12-17T02:03:38+00:00

It's not 50:50 in the real world.

The fact of the matter is that, in the 20-40 age-range, there are more single men than single women. It's not just the dating apps, although it's even more skewed on dating apps. Here's a gif showing this: https://i.imgur.com/iCEAJ7W.gif

In this gif, where you see the "100" per 1000 singles, that means that there's 550 single men : 450 single women, which is 122 single men : 100 single women.

In the under 40 age-group, notice the excess number of men - all competing with each other - for a smaller number of single women. Once you get past 40, then the numbers start to shift, and in the 60-64 age range, there's a ton of single women - those women are experiencing the flip-side of what men experience in the "prime dating age" of 20-40.

Why does this happen?

There's more boys than girls born. 105 boys : 100 girls at birth.
Older men dating younger women. Some people will complain that there's an average of a two year gap between men and women at first marriage. But the problem is that's "at first marriage". If a guy gets divorced and married a second wife, maybe a trophy wife, that marriage is not included in the calculation because it's not his first marriage. But that younger woman is still taken out of the dating market.

The fact that women in their prime 20-40 age-range are most desired, and that makes women in this group more privileged and scarce than men in this same group.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-12-16T20:10:45+00:00

[removed]

Hoopy223 · 2020-12-16T22:28:45+00:00

Dating apps really do screw with a guy’s head but its almost a necessary evil these days.

Freevoulous · 2020-12-17T10:48:28+00:00

Completely agree. I remember the time (00's, 10's) when the theories were completely different, because most men focused on Night Game, and contrived social theories to match that experience.

Urbantexasguy · 2020-12-16T22:48:38+00:00

Men who are still on Tinder, are like the nerdy guys who hang around the gymnasium at a high school dance, after all the girls have gone to get a late night burger with the "cool" boys. If they're nerdy enough, they might even stay long enough to help take down the decorations!!!

The women are GONE from Tinder, boys, time to face facts!

Other dating sites have much better women/men ratios. This data is a few years old, but I'm sure those other sites are still much better than Tinder, given Tinder's hookup reputation.

https://www.businessinsider.com/dating-apps-that-have-highest-percentage-of-women-2016-6

teal_lantern27 · 2020-12-17T03:05:51+00:00

Agreed. Depends on what social group you’re in but very very few of my female friends use dating apps except for validation or a quick easy way to a boyfriend. Whereas it seems almost every single one of my bf’s male friends use dating apps. This is only from my own experience, but women are less comfortable or less inclined to use the apps compared to men and the women that do use the apps have a specific drive. Whereas when i was in the dating pool i felt like EVERY guy was on a dating app and it was something they encouraged amongst their groups.

And therefore, you could make a tentative conclusion that even though dating apps are becoming a common avenue for people who want to enter the dating realm, if you really don’t want the imbalance then gain the confidence to go out into the real world and date the traditional way (ask someone out who’s in your class/work/cafe/bar/etc) rather than chasing them on tinder or their social medias.

jdobrila · 2020-12-17T05:40:25+00:00

and all the nonsense generalizing men and women comes from the fact that women simply don't like swipe apps like tinder

And all the scientific papers and data, they were also all done exclusively on swipe apps?

Get out of here.

AidsVictim · 2020-12-16T21:05:19+00:00

The ratio is that way because women already have options in real life/other social media and are not interested in a large portion of men given they can much more easily "share" the more desirable men and have no strong social or economic incentive to present as available to the "leftover" men.

WomenHavItHarder · 2020-12-16T21:25:55+00:00

Most couples that meet online don’t meet on swipe apps, they meet on social media (instagram, facebook, twitter, etc).

spacechicken1990 · 2020-12-16T20:16:22+00:00

No it comes from men’s basic misunderstanding of how female sexuality & nature works.

Their pissed at how they’re the pursuers by nature & are conditioned to be more feminine than ever. Thus expecting women to take control. Their sadly disappointed when this does not occur & after a while they get bitter.

TwentyX4 · 2020-12-17T01:23:55+00:00

[deleted]

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-12-16T20:32:49+00:00

[removed]

wtknight · 2020-12-16T20:51:53+00:00

[removed]

sirpsychosexy8 · 2020-12-16T21:45:40+00:00

I think they also stem from porn; our subconscious registers that women are getting action, but that some guy other than ourselves are doing all the fucking, hence the preoccupation with Chad. The dynamics in OLD excatcerbate the problem. I think it's a perfect storm of factors all at once that are creating a red pill zeitgeist, though porn and the birth control pill are probably the root causes.

Zonkey_Zeedonk · 2020-12-17T12:50:57+00:00

Yes yes 100% yes.

Title	Most of the unhealthy theories about dating here come from the simple fact that men outnumber women 4:1 on swipe apps.
Author	Equal_Corgi_2581
Upvotes	76
Comments	218
Date	December 16, 2020 8:05 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kegqa0/most_of_the_unhealthy_theories_about_dating_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-of-the-unhealthy-theories-about-dating-here.746789 https://theredarchive.com/post/746789

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