With the influx of newbies over the past ~48 hours, I thought I would share the story about the "warm" 🔥 welcome I received from FDS when I first came across this sub.

I found FDS about a year ago because of a thread somewhere else on reddit talking about how horrible and toxic FDS supposedly was.

Curious, I decided to come check it out. I have to admit... I was initially outraged (and morbidly fascinated). At the time, I was in a forever girlfriend situationship with a low value man. FDS definitely struck me as "mean" because it made me feel super personally attacked. Literally all of the "wrong" things that get roasted here were things I was doing 🤡

Once I got my flair, I was a dumbass and started leaving dumbass "uM aCkShUaLLy" comments defending my man that always ended up in me getting bombarded with "not MY Nigel!" type responses.

I. WAS. R🔥O🔥A🔥S🔥T🔥E🔥D

Eventually I picked a fight with a mod and got banned 🤡

Yup, my first ever stint on FDS ended in me getting banned 🤡

So I was like "wow fuck these bitches" and unsubscribed from FDS 🤡

However, in the weeks following that, I had this weird lingering feeling in the back of my mind. I started realizing how much more work I was putting into the relationship compared to my boyfriend. I started to feel resentful that I was always going above and beyond to make him happy but he never did the same for me. He was just a consumer of my domestic, emotional, and sexual labor, but financially we split the bills 50/50 (technically I was paying more because I spent way more on gifts for him than he did for me). Also, not once did he ever make me cum 🤡

I was stuck in this endless cycle of trying to "work harder" to "earn" his love only to get crumbs in return (and hoooly shit did I ever relish those crumbs when I did get them). It suddenly dawned on me that what I was doing wasn't working, and that the harder I tried, the more he pulled away. Throughout our relationship I had tried "communicating" with him but it never went anywhere, he either didn't change at all or would just do a lazy sloppy job of it. The only time he would change was when I threatened to break up with him, and even then he would only keep it up for a week or two before going back to his old ways 🤡

We started having more and more arguments. Whenever I asked for more, or called him out on his low effort, or complained about him watching porn, he would always just flip the script, blame me, make excuses for himself, give sob stories, and just generally be a moody whiny little bitch whenever he was faced with even the slightest criticism 🤡

So I made a new account and started browsing FDS again. This time it took a lot longer to get flair, because I had no post history (probably for the best tho since there's way too much personally identifiable information on my main account). In the meantime, I read the handbook, browsed the forums, kept leaving comments, and when I finally got approved I was like YAAAAS and this time I didn't fuck it up by picking petty fights with people!

For a while I was mostly listening, asking questions, devouring the forums where other women were talking about their experiences and I was amazed by how so. god. damn. many. were similar to mine.

During those weeks I got real quiet with my LVM and stopped arguing with him. Started working out and lost a few pounds. It's funny because looking back he was so blissfully unaware, I'm sure in his mind he thought "everything's great! She's not arguing with me anymore! She's losing weight! Nothing to worry about here!" 🤡

As soon as I got my living arrangements sorted out, I got the courage to dump my LVM. For real this time. He did NOT take it well. Started bawling his eyes out, just crying like a lil' bitch. Got on his knees and wrapped his arms around my legs literally begging me not to leave. Sobbed the entire time as I was packing my things.

Not gonna lie, I felt like a monster, but I had to remind myself that he wasn't sad about losing me, he was only sad about losing his free bangmaid and someone to pay half of his rent. The gravy train was over.

I got my shit and left. There was a brief physical confrontation on my way out the door, he tried blocking the doorway and grabbed my arms, and I just pushed his bitch ass out of the way. Blocked and deleted his number.

Since then I've been leveling up physically by working out eating healthier and losing weight, leveling up mentally by going to therapy and reading about radical feminism, and leveling up professionally by improving my performance at work. Best of all, I started writing for FDS! People started liking and upvoting my posts and eventually I was invited to be a mod, which felt like such a great honor 🥰 (especially given my starting point).

I wanted to share my story because I think it's important to be able to look on your past self and laugh a little bit (or cringe, or both 🤡). We're all human beings, we're all flawed, we've all made mistakes in the past, and that's okay. We've all been brainwashed by the patriarchy and it takes time to unlearn that. The important thing is being able to give a harsh look at yourself and your life and make the tough decisions necessary to improve.

Remember: if you're cringing at your past self it means you've grown and changed as a person. There is no need to be hard on yourself or beat yourself up too harshly because of who you were in the past. You are not defined by your past mistakes, you are defined by how to choose to respond to them.

I want people to know that no matter your starting point, any woman can become high value if 1) you acknowledge that you are flawed and have areas to improve, 2) want to change and improve, and 3) make a sincere and consistent effort to improve the things that are within your control.

Thank you for reading 😊

PS: NEWBIES, READ THIS POST ABOUT CYBER SECURITY. This is a controversial sub and dudes are constantly trying to dox us. Make a new account that you use ONLY for FDS, don't post personally identifiable information, and switch accounts every 3-6 months.