SINGLE MOTHERS: NEVER SAY THAT YOU HAVE KIDS IN YOUR ONLINE DATING BIO. Pedophiles deliberately target single moms on online dating websites to get access to their kids.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-03-09T01:48:16+00:00

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NotSoSmartChick · 2021-03-09T04:20:41+00:00

My husband was in poor health for years before he died. This was the one thing he really was panicked about. He said he wanted me to be happy, but to keep an absolute eagle eye on any man that was in my life, and be damn sure he never hurt our son, whether sexually or with physical violence. His concern was not only related to pedophiles, he said many men have issues with the son of another man.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-03-09T01:47:13+00:00

I think women must be extra cautious and not bring home men for at least a year of dating.

None of the men I've dated met my kids or even seen their photos. They have their dad, they don't need another man in their lives, especially someone who I've met just recently.

I have a friend who used to do this and her daughter was getting sick and tired of all the men she had to politely meet and greet.

I think it's very scary and very irresponsible when women rush to introduce their dates to their kids. There is literally absolutely no need in that.

justforfds · 2021-03-09T03:54:02+00:00

Once saw a profile that said he really wants to be a step daddy and he was offering his “step daddy applications” Beware. These guys are very much out there.

MummyCroc · 2021-03-09T07:30:12+00:00

My mum dated a guy for a while before she introduced him to us. First met him when I was 12. They had been dating then for about a year. And apparently had a daughter who we never met, so he was likely a deadbeat

He just gave me an uncomfortable vibe even when he tried to be nice to me, so when he proposed to my mum and she told me, I cried and told her I wasn't happy about having this guy live with us.. My mum broke up with him when I said that. I felt bad about it afterward that I made my mum break up with someone she loved, but I know see she was protecting me, and most likely had a bad feeling about him.

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-03-09T01:52:42+00:00

I do say fairly early on that I have kids. I have an above average number that is enough to scare off a lot of men. 😂

But in nearly 6years, my kids have only met one man, and I’d known him since we were kids.

Unless I’m pretty sure we are on the marriage track, a man doesn’t need to meet my kids.

And even still, I will not leave my kids alone with him ever. Even if we get married. I’m not even sorry.

LikelyWriting · 2021-03-09T13:18:58+00:00

I met a pedo on a language exchange app. After we chatted for a while, he asked me if I had a kid. I said yes, and then he said if he paid her attention, would I get jealous? I blocked him. This is another reason why I don't even like being friends with men.

Watzoo · 2021-03-09T02:42:01+00:00

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yakattacksback · 2021-03-09T02:12:49+00:00

Not only don't disclose on the profile, but even after you do disclose, don't disclose names or ages. And don't let him meet them until you are 100% sure you want him in their lives. There is no revolving door of men in my world. My kids need not meet any man until he's proven worthy of our time. My kids are not little anymore, but they deserve to see only the best men taking a place in our lives.

FrozenExpanse · 2021-03-09T07:34:20+00:00

Omg I have been saying this for YEARS!!!

People absolutely lose their damn minds, saying I'm being deceitful or trying to trap a man.

NO! A HVM will understand why you are not advertising that you have kids to every weirdo on the internet.

shadowwallflower1 · 2021-03-09T09:38:13+00:00

I’ve been saying this for years! So many people disagree, it’s mental. ‘Not all men’ - not worth the risk!

When I was little my friends dad was a police officer. He always said pedos will find any way to be around kids, whether it’s working in schools, summer camps, or very commonly dating people who already have kids for easy access.

My mum was always adamant if she and my dad ever split up she wouldn’t date till I was an adult. Her words were that she wouldn’t know if the man wanted her, or wanted her child. Even thinking about it makes my skin crawl.

Mcccy · 2021-03-09T01:44:36+00:00

I mean, if he looses interest he wasn't what they were looking for anyway so it's a win win situation here

7Cuervos · 2021-03-09T01:51:29+00:00

Also, if any man is not okay with your kids yet claims he is soooo into you, he aint the one.

Dormouse_in_a_teapot · 2021-03-09T03:34:59+00:00

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being upfront about having children, just have the common sense not to bring a new boyfriend around your kids for at least a year, possibly longer.

minti1994 · 2021-03-09T04:51:13+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree that kids should be protected and their safety comes first but I think that it would be best to be upfront about this from the beginning (without going into details) because childfree individuals have a hard time finding other like-minded people to date.

Delicious_Comfort000 · 2021-03-09T01:39:12+00:00

Well said. This needs to be pinned! I’ve been saying it for a while. Protect your children!

Watzoo · 2021-03-09T08:42:09+00:00

Honestly when you should be honest about having kids? since a lot of scrotes flip about single moms lying. If i was a single mom i would be like my kids wont go near you til they are done with school unless we are getting married and having a kid . Even then i would have door lock on my kids bedroom and camera near the entrance and a lawyer on speedial because if i catch that dipshit near my kids he isn't getting out alive.

the_ghost_of_ · 2021-03-09T06:54:55+00:00

Makes me think of the movie/book "Where the Heart Is" where Novalee's friend Lexie gets taken advantage of by a man she meets because he singles her out for her kids before he rapes her, beats her, and does the same to her children. Never trust them.

DarnLady · 2021-03-09T09:59:07+00:00

I've had met a man on a dating profile. And he straight up said if I can't handle his sexuality we won't talk. I said cool, bye. And then he slyly admitted to liking he called "age-play" and the younger I pretend to be the better... huge red flag. Never talked to him again.

sleepykittn · 2021-03-09T04:07:18+00:00

When can we all just transfer ourselves to venus? Starting to think maybe men and women are from different planets🤔 because i dont feel like i belong here sharing the same air as these predators.

Wildestrose1988 · 2021-03-09T06:53:33+00:00

I cringe when moms post pics of them with their daughter on their dating profile. They're either naive or they are into it

souredskittles · 2021-03-09T03:07:13+00:00

Tbh who cares about their time. If it means protecting your kids, the hell with their time, they don’t seem to mind wasting ours.

Watzoo · 2021-03-09T14:55:07+00:00

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for this. I couldn’t agree more. There are also predators who think single moms are more vulnerable, so it’s a bad idea on two fronts.

I’d also encourage guys that don’t want to date single moms to just openly say that they’re not looking for single moms. It’s fine, it doesn’t make them monsters - unless they’re single dads, lol 😁😉- don’t elaborate on why you don’t want to date single moms, that always gets creepy and weird), but women read profiles and single moms will not bother swiping on you. Saves everyone time and misery.

targetqueenfourfour · 2021-03-09T09:59:25+00:00

I'm mid forties and considering getting back in the dating game. If I say in a profile I'm a mum of two, potential dates have no idea whether those kids are 5 or 25. I think this more applies to women in their 20s and early 30s.

Totally agree with not introducing dates to kids for years though. They're way too important to take any risks with.

CandidKick · 2021-03-09T19:47:59+00:00

Can confirm. My single mom brought her pedo date over when I was a teen. He tried to “sponsor” me and have me come live with him. He blocked me in his car and tried to kiss me. I got away and ignored all attempts for him to move me into his house.

If I ever find his picture/info I will warn others (he was sort of a respected person around here).

PaperAlbumPoppies · 2021-03-09T04:38:26+00:00

Yes, this! Set yourself dating boundaries, I need to work on a list for myself but am not planning to date now or anytime soon. I knew after my divorce that dating is and will never be a priority, if I end up “alone” so be it.

hellokaye · 2021-03-09T06:50:03+00:00

So glad I've read this. I have always disclosed I have kids early on for the reasons you've mentioned and will never do so again. I'm not using online dating at the moment anyway and not sure I ever will again but if I do, I will certainly be hiding the fact I have children. Ugh, literally disgusting the lengths we have to go to to protect ourselves and our children from depraved men.

littlelostyellowbird · 2021-03-09T05:35:42+00:00

100% I often discuss this with other women especially single mothers when socialising I’m shocked at how many are clueless to this, and think I’m overreacting smh. A well known kiwi psychologist discuss this specific topic in a book he wrote about pedos and it’s always stuck with me. I’ve been a single mum for 3 years and haven’t dated at all because I want to keep my kids safe.

gooseglug · 2021-03-09T10:40:11+00:00

So, when is a woman suppose to tell a date she’s a single mom?

SPdoc · 2021-03-09T21:16:05+00:00

Good lord I’m not surprised in the slightest least.

victoriabowen8 · 2021-03-09T17:53:32+00:00

As a childfree person I have learned to point blank ask men in the first few messages if they have kids. I've had too many lie in their profiles about it so now I just ask directly, even if their profile says they don't have kids. And yes, I do say I am childfree in my profile but for some reason everyone thinks their some special exception?

I can appreciate the sentiment in this post and have no issues with not putting it in their profile (although ideally I'd like to weed them out at this stage) but you definitely have to mention it before meeting. For better or worse kids are a dealbreaker for a lot of people so respect goes both ways. As someone else said you don't have to give them any access to your child until you have vetted and feel comfortable. There are a LOT of strangers that know you have kids, not sure why a man you're dating but who has no access to them is any different? Do your co-workers know you have kids? The mailman? Your entire street of neighbors? The cashier at the grocery store?

I think the main issue here is vetting. Not the mere knowledge you have kids.

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