I thought my boyfriend was a HVM. I vetted constantly, I tried to be a good girlfriend. But it wasn’t enough.
I was sexually assaulted 2 years ago and almost murdered. My psychiatrist diagnosed me with PTSD and anxiety. I also get really horrible dips where I feel life is worthless. I constantly get flashbacks even though I’ve been in therapy for 2 years.
Enter my boyfriend. He’s been my rock throughout this whole thing. He’s always been there for me emotionally and has never judged me. My countrymen are conservative and no man wants to date me once I reveal that I’ve been sexually assaulted.
So I thought my bf would always be there for me. Big mistake, right ladies? He just told me he wants to take a “break” for a week and that he doesn’t want to commit to me for that week, but that he won’t be dating and that he doesn’t want to breakup with me. He “needs space” to salvage our relationship 🤡.
Apparently, I’m exhausting to talk to and the only thing he likes doing with me are hugging/cuddling and sitting in silence with me. He’s been mean to me recently and makes snide remarks when I have flashbacks, when he used to be so supportive. He keeps labeling me as depressed even though my psychiatrist has never diagnosed me with it. He blames me whenever my family verbally abuses me because it’s apparently my fault for not standing up to them.
He keeps mansplaining to me and doesn’t respect my boundaries. I told him not to touch my neck because my abuser almost choked me to death but he insisted on massaging it because I told him it was cramped. He was allegedly doing it for my own good but wouldn’t stop when his massaging constantly gave me flashbacks. When he did apologize for this and his other errors, there were 5 lines of excuses afterwards, which leads me to believe that his apology wasn’t sincere.
He told me over the past month he wanted more time to focus on work and I gave him that space. Apparently, it wasn’t enough. He says I’m draining him and he’s exhausted because he can’t “fix me” (aka make me perpetually happy).
I haven’t left because I’m a failure to FDS and I still love him. I know I should, but it hurts so much
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