[CMV] Women, not men, for the most part are also the gatekeepers of relationships, not just sex.

ex_red_black_piller · 2021-06-17T14:34:47+00:00

Women are the gatekeepers to sex, and Chad/Chadlite are the gatekeepers to commitment.

Average dude doesn't gatekeep shit lol.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-06-17T13:54:35+00:00

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SerpentCypher · 2021-06-17T14:45:42+00:00

Partly agree, there are levels to the gatekeeping. Women are the gatekeepers of sex and relationships with average guys

The high value, attractive, rich, confident men women actually want though? They are the gatekeepers of both in regards to women.

These are the guys women will actively pursue, approach, simp for, and jump straight into bed with to try to use sex as a gateway into a relationship. These guys hold all the power, which is only magnified considering these guys are in high demand, but in low supply.

throwaway3649_ · 2021-06-17T16:40:50+00:00

Women are the gatekeepers of sex. The few men they allow through the gate then become the gatekeepers of a relation.

All the other men arent gatekeeping anything lool.

UrFoodMolestedMyNose · 2021-06-17T14:10:24+00:00

Never got why people say men are the gate keepers of relationships.

If that were as true as women being the gate keepers of sex:

-no guy would ever complain about not being able to get a relationship.

-Bottom 80 percent of men would simply enter relationships to get sex.

In comparison, women almost never complain about a lack of sex. Its so clear that they are the gate keepers because it [sex] so freely flows on their side of the gate. The same can’t be said for most men and relationships. Its self evident.

Even beta bux proves this. Men have been jumping into relationships with women who rejected them in their 20’s just for a chance at sex. Who was really withholding commitment here?

What I will say is that chad is the gate keeper of relationships. Women want relationships with chad. Men want sex with just about anything.

poppy_blu · 2021-06-17T15:01:00+00:00

OOH I agree. It’s an outdated notion from a time when women needed commitment and men had more options as a single man.

Where I think you’re conflating is that it’s not that women have suddenly become the gatekeepers of relationships. It’s that a decent amount of young men just aren’t relationship material any more so women aren’t bothering. And why would they? They can go to college, earn as much, not be pressured into marrying early, have sex whenever they want and thanks to modern medicine have no problem having healthy children well into their 30s.

The reasons so many young men aren’t relationship material are varied and a lot more complex that “they’re just losers.” I could do a separate post on it. And to be fair i can’t say that a lot of young women today are any better in terms of being relationship material but I think the take home is that that the traditional institutions and standards for adulthood are crumbling. We can accept it or not but we’re not going back.

NarniaFox · 2021-06-17T13:55:19+00:00

People are gatekeepers of their own decisions. Men and women both have the choice in the matter who they want to try to date and whose advantages they accept/decline/ignore.

Edit: spelling

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-06-17T13:37:29+00:00

To determine who ultimately gatekeeps what, you have to look past appearances at the numbers of people in the market for X. With casual sex, I’d say about 90% of single men are in the market for it, while maybe 40% of single women are, and even then maybe only 20% are really seeking it. So women gatekeep casual sex. Now with relationships, I’d guess maybe 80% of single women are in the market for one, while maybe 60% of single men are. (These are all rough estimates since we don’t know the real numbers.) So maybe men don’t gatekeep relationships as much as women do sex, but they still are the gatekeepers.

lulll · 2021-06-17T16:09:34+00:00

yea women are the gatekeepers of all of this, unless you are a good looking guy who can easily get casual sex with the women you are attracted to. that is the only time this power game flips around, if you're a guy who is good looking enough to have a bunch of options for women you are attracted to that means you can pick and choose who you want a relationship with. if you're some ugly guy with no options you basically have to delude yourself into thinking you're worth more than you are to think you are the gatekeeper of anything

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-06-17T13:28:31+00:00

There is no single group that is “the gatekeeper” of anything. Men and women both choose, men and women are both gatekeepers when they are desired by someone. This isn’t a one-sided argument or phenomenon.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-06-17T13:16:47+00:00

The only challenge I can make to this is:

Men are the gatekeepers only of their own commitment - only of where and how they allocate time, labor, attention, money, and resources. So they're "gatekeepers" of who they choose to have relationships with.

Mondholm · 2021-06-17T13:46:03+00:00

Gatekeeping of relationship is such a weird concept.

Either it's working out or it isnt. You could say - with not little mental.gymnastic - that the person realizing it's not working out is gatekeeping the relationship.

But it's such an unfortunate frame.

Emervila · 2021-06-17T14:46:38+00:00

Another FDS Fallacy

Disposable men (80%) don't gatekeep anything because nobody wants them, summarizing the failed dating strategy statement.

Debunking

1.If all men that matters are just top 20%, men still gatekeeping LTR since they don't commit to women: top males are players not betas, marriage rates still sinking by the day.

Most proposals for marriage and/or LTR come from men, even if those proposals come from an "unpleasant" male if we leave proposing to women it won't work, women play safe and don't take risks as men do
FDS complains about men watching porn, men playing video games, men living in mom's basement, men not making enough money THIS is the most clear evidence men are gatekeepers of LTRs. FDS complains mean women want those men to be "acceptable" LTR material AKA being on LTR's with them otherwise makes no sense to complain about somebody who really nobody cares.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-06-17T13:20:29+00:00

[removed]

superlurkage · 2021-06-17T14:53:28+00:00

I hate to break it to you, but I’m afraid men can indeed say no to relationships, just like women can say no to sex

Freedom is so untidy

Os2099 · 2021-06-17T14:11:01+00:00

The problem is that women can gatekeep the average dude all they want, but their goal is to be with the top tier guy. Because of that they are all fighting for the same guys, whichever women loses often settles with an average guy. But once they get older 30, 35+ Their looks start declining and are not as sought after.

A women age 18-30 ish can gatekeep most relationships, but after that it goes downhill. Society expects women to have children and be married etc. This doesn't apply to men as much. So you can be a 40 year old women who's single, and will essentially get dude's who want to fuck and that's it, we have seen multiple post on this sub about women complaining how bad dating is after 30. You get the dudes with no jobs and are cheating on you.

TLDR: A young women under age 30 can gatekeep majority of relationships, after that her SMV drops rapidly and is unable to attract those same guys she was getting before.

801735 · 2021-06-17T16:06:05+00:00

Nope. Chicks are so incompetent, they can't even keep cats from fucking off away from them. It takes competence to be a gatekeeper of relationships. It takes literally nothing to not fuck, just exist and have guys not deem you worthy of pursuit.

It's males who are in charge of everything. Even the positions with some sort of power, which females hold, are created and upheld by males.

What did we learn again today, class? Yes, that's right, there are no women, there are only unwomanupped femfails.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-06-17T16:38:01+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-06-17T14:18:00+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-06-17T15:00:04+00:00

[removed]

Feeliner · 2021-06-17T16:17:18+00:00

The issue is that the men they want are the men who are the gatekeepers. Average men don't count.

401kisfun · 2021-06-17T17:32:11+00:00

Completely untrue. Women need to go OLD as a guy more often. And get used to hearing ‘no’ or total silence.

IOportA · 2021-06-17T17:45:51+00:00

Hmm you make it sound like life is quite difficult for men.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-06-17T20:10:38+00:00

Women are the gatekeepers to sex, the men they actually want, the men who have options are the gatekeepers to relationships

GridReXX · 2021-06-17T21:50:02+00:00

Chad and Stacy somewhat equally gatekeep relationships with one another. Stacy has an edge on gatekeeping sex.

Women generally gatekeep sex and relationships with most men. Except Chad may gatekeep relationships with her depending on her level of desperation.

Men generally aren’t gatekeepers of sex or relationships, unless he’s Chad. And even then Chad has to compromise with the Stacy of his dreams.

milkyymochii · 2021-06-17T22:31:04+00:00

Yeah it made no sense. The average joe who cries about not getting his little dick wet isn’t holding commitment over anyone’s head.

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-06-17T22:34:03+00:00

You so desperately want to convince yourself that the only reason you can't get anyone to commit beyond the sex is because you deemed them to not be worthy.

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midwesternMD · 2021-06-18T04:44:39+00:00

Women choose to date the guys they find hot enough to fuck. If they have sex and it’s enjoyable, they’ll continue to do so. Do it enough, and you have the beginning of a relationship. But if that relationship is to evolve into its “ultimate” stage of marriage, the man has to like her enough to propose. I suppose the woman could also propose to the man, but social norms make this situation a novelty.

That’s my understanding of the gatekeeper scenario.

IOportA · 2021-06-18T16:42:53+00:00

This thread shows how difficult it is to be a man today.

Men would like for women to understand how difficult it is for men, but even if women did understand, they wouldn't give a shit.

EstateThin1549 · 2021-06-18T22:51:49+00:00

Men are the gatekeepers to marriage, not relationships

DarkReviewer2013 · 2021-06-19T08:36:40+00:00

Men do typically have to put more legwork into the initial stages of dating, but women still need to be able to attract men they're similarly attracted to and express interest - often in a subtle manner that men don't pick up on or choose to ignore. As the fledgling relationship progresses, the balance of power can shift heavily in favour of one party or the other, resulting in breakup, or even itself out. Beyond the very early stages, no one partner should be the gatekeeper of a relationship unless it's a very unhealthy one in which one partner becomes unhealthily attached to the other.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-06-17T13:47:22+00:00

Most women want companionship, betabuxx, and family. They can't get this without a man agreeing to it. This is why men control relationships.

The only think men want in return is sex, and if they don't want the sex, or get tired of it, the woman has nothing to trade.

cowfishAreReal · 2021-06-17T13:48:56+00:00

Do you have any sources?

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2021-06-17T18:09:33+00:00

At any given time, in any age brackets, men are the ones who have the final say.

It doesn't matter that most women don't want anything to do with most men, it doesn't matter that average men don't have an easy time at getting laid, it doesn't matter that women can find someone to fuck at the turn of every corner, when we talk about relationships and marriage, men hold ALL the cards, not just the best hand.

To get married, women need a man to accept them as an equal and bend the knee, and this is incredibly hard to achieve and is a very powerful symbolic act for women, who spend most of their lives under the man's power and physical-mental prowess.

It's irrelevant that Becky doesn't worry about not being proposed by Billy, she still wants to get married to some other man out there. A man is still holding something over her.

Jakes1967 · 2021-06-17T22:40:10+00:00

For most men, it’s women who decide to start a relationship with a guy if he proves himself worthy enough.

Not even close. Men with self-esteem rule those waves. I'm average and even I've turned down women for relationships.

Men are the ones who must be active in dating.

Nope, men who step out of dating intrigue women and are then sought out

Men are the ones who must succeed in the first dates.

Nope, most guys win before the first date, you just need to know a little about women.

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Title	[CMV] Women, not men, for the most part are also the gatekeepers of relationships, not just sex.
Author	bear731
Upvotes	18
Comments	155
Date	June 17, 2021 6:35 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/o1qjsh/cmv_women_not_men_for_the_most_part_are_also_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-women-not-men-for-the-most-part-are-also-the.784444 https://theredarchive.com/post/784444

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