Are men attracted to women who are the victims of jealous bullying by other women? If so, why?

umnothnxbye · 2021-06-23T19:06:12+00:00

In my experience no. Although it's highly unlikely anybody was ever jealous of me. Nevertheless, I was severely bullied all throughout school. Then a bit at work and even into motherhood. I had a terrible birth experience and was labelled a liar or that I must have deserved it amongst other moms, so they were quite vicious. I was heavily excluded from mom's groups in my area.

99% of the time boys/men are perfectly happy to join in with the bullies. I had guys that would follow me home after school throwing food, calling me terrible names while the popular girls laughed.

I've had only ONE guy stick up for me in my whole entire life but that was after he did one of the most terrible and humiliating things to me. He pulled my pants down in front of all his friends including the popular girls. I recieved so much hell from that and even disciplinary measures from the school. Everyone and I mean everyone made fun of my 'muff' from there on out.

Then his friend started getting violent with me, calling me a dyke, etc etc. He jumped in one time as the guy was shoving me around and damn near got in a fist fight over me. Told him to leave me alone. The guy did from there on out. No idea why he did that for me. It's not like he was suddenly nice to me after that. Still said horrible things. Things just didn't get physical any more with that particular group.

Didn't stop me from fantasizing about the guy the stuck up for me. Got pretty hooked on him for a year or so, wondering if maybe he secretly liked me despite him still being pretty awful🤦‍♀️

LittyKitsune · 2021-06-23T20:54:19+00:00

I saw some of this in high school.

It was usually a combination of damsel in distress/ halo effect. A decently attractive girl gets ostracized by other girls over bitchy/backstabby behavior, girl goes to guys with her crocodile tears, the guys assume the other girls are the problem and she's an angel. He's too blinded by his feelings to notice that the girls may have actually had a good reason for cutting her off, and by the time that good reason surfaces in their relationship he's already hooked.

This was especially common in our context because high schools were split by gender in our community; even if a girl had a reputation for being toxic at her high school guys would just be taking your word for it, he's not witnessing what you see firsthand. The reverse happened too.

Zcuzz · 2021-06-23T18:48:02+00:00

I dated a girl for a while that was always talking mad trash about this other girl in our classes. I found out later that the other girl liked me and my gf was making her look bad so I wouldn't be attracted to the other girl. They were both pretty hot, the other girl was actually more my type though, so I guess my girlfriend was just trying to protect her territory.

SylvestorTalone · 2021-06-23T19:06:42+00:00

I've noticed this in myself, it's just the male protective instinct at work.

BruddaMSK · 2021-06-23T18:40:06+00:00

Men are attracted to all women. And being attracted to a victim (of anything) is pretty common due to saviour complex

makinganimerealer · 2021-06-23T18:48:56+00:00

Never heard of this in my life.

Predatory men who are interested in women who don't have many friends and have low self-esteem?

Maybe? Though mostly when you hear about something like this, it's usually the guy slowly removing her from her friends and family, usually girls who don't have a lot of female friends from the start usually have a lot of guy friends instead.

Plopolok · 2021-06-23T19:32:32+00:00

Vulnerability is attractive to men, just like power is attractive to women. (But in a much lesser degree; it's negligible compared to hip-waist ratio. And men aren't selective anyway.)

LowCreddit · 2021-06-23T19:36:21+00:00

This definitely happens because of the reasons you state. The Captain Save-A-Ho complex is real. That being said, cooking as a skill is very attractive to a man. It is perhaps the primary way women are able to show off their skill and craftsmanship.

ToughAnswers · 2021-06-23T18:40:09+00:00

What do you think is going on here?

Perceived potential discount?

gimpgirl555 · 2021-06-23T19:17:19+00:00

In this case I just think that men enjoy a good catfight.

ohheyhi99 · 2021-06-23T21:27:36+00:00

Some types of women who get bashed by other types of women have qualities that lots of men like. Some women in this situation don’t. For example, the woman you referenced is probably being bashed as a “pick me,” and lots of women get labelled that for doing stuff that lots of men find attractive. I can only speak for myself, but don’t think the being bashed alone is what makes men attracted to them. Bashing other people is an unattractive trait to me though, and that can make the people who do it less desirable while directing attention toward the person getting bashed. If the bashed person has attractive qualities, they will become more apparent.

My gender reversed comparison would be an attractive guy who gets made fun of by other guys because he “seems gay,” but the traits about him that “seem gay” just happen to be traits that a lot of women would find attractive.

Some women and men get bashed by members of their own sex for other reasons, and while that might spark sympathy, it doesn’t mean attraction is lurking underneath.

Gilmoregirlin · 2021-06-24T02:37:11+00:00

Women usually hate and bully other women out of jealousy especially in the workplace and especially in groups. Number one reason women get jealous? Looks. They hate other pretty women. So yea guys are attracted to her it just makes logical sense.

87AudreyHorne · 2021-06-23T20:32:33+00:00

I feel like a lot of men dislike women as a group (not saying you can or should love a broad group of people, but there is definitely a negative association ) so a woman not liked by other woman is maybe free of that stigma

Like Cinderella and ugly step sisters. Speaking if which, a lot of guys think all women have is their looks so they imagine an ugly woman simply logically has to be desperate and jealous of the truly beautiful women (and maybe often this is true with both genders but I know many guys who simply cant beleive thar an unattractive woman, no matter how accomplished, can be ok and not be a jealous bitch). So naturally a proof of beauty is female envy

You are on to something though. This one guy knows that a woman in one ex aquantiance group called me a skinny bitch and he always kept bringing it up to me (he doesnt like that woman much), like he really loves how she showed that she was jealous of me. Like ever so often we'll talk and he'll remember that story like it became her defining characteristic and really we knew her and her husband in so many other moments. Like it's a victory for me

_lemazaki · 2021-06-23T18:42:12+00:00

Not attracted at first. But I do pay attention to them to see what is what.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-06-23T21:39:49+00:00

If she is hot yes, if she is ugly no

Danielcraigboston1 · 2021-06-23T19:48:30+00:00

Yes. She must be doing something right if she obtains jealousy from other women.

SouthernGrass3 · 2021-06-23T20:46:19+00:00

People generally ascribe more value to those who are valued by others.

That being said, if a woman seems to have quite high SMV/ RMV and the bullying is clearly just from jealousy, then it might make her positive traits more noticeable (“this person is not just attractive— they are so attractive compared to others, that other people act out to cope, and that means my person also is probably nicer than the others ”) and even motivate someone to want to “rescue” her.

However, if the women is is being given a hard time, in part, due to less favorable characteristics (ex: awkwardness), it can potentially make prospective partners become more focused on these attributes and cause them read the person as less desirable; *unless the prospective partner decides the person is just being given a hard time due to factors like jealousy, which can be a way to ascribe increased value to a the person (which is also flattering to the prospective partner if the person likes them/ is “in their league”

— This does completely suck when it skews negative. Nice woman/men who meet a potential partners criteria in a 1:1 interaction or a gentle group interaction, can lose a lot of perceive value when observed in other contexts.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-06-23T21:43:52+00:00

Men are physically attracted to a lot of women, in terms of selecting a wife if she happens to have traits that make other women jealous, he did the right thing no, it's not because they're jealous that he's attracted to her

Imwaymoreflythanyou · 2021-06-23T22:17:28+00:00

You’re looking at this in such a negative way which is really intriguing. Not even saying I don’t see where you’re coming from cos I do. With such a negative mindset I can see why you’d assume guys who are attracted to those types of women are attracted for the wrong reasons. Try to remember that reasons for attraction can range, don’t always jump to the toxic reasons.

I can only speak for myself though:

I’m attracted to women who don’t entirely fit in with the masses of generic women. The type who don’t conform to typical female friendship dynamics and behaviours. They don’t bitch behind backs, when they have an issue, they express it to them. This makes female relationships for them harder as they get branded rude and mean when really they’re just not fake.

Women like this in my experience understand men better and are extremely loyal and less emotional. Rather than be nice to you to your face and then bitch about you elsewhere they’ll express their discontent only to you. Rather than give you the cold shoulder or silent treatment they’ll express their issue. I value this highly.

Another reason I like them is that generally find women who are a little different way more interesting. I’ve always made friends with people who are a little bit different and non conforming (personality wise) in their little ways. People generally are bullied for being different.

It’s not that I want a woman with low self esteem because I’m a predator, I don’t want or need that at all.

Also other women being jealous is more of just an effect of them not being your typical girl and also attractive at the same time. These types of women are the ones who tend to get along better with men as a result. All this combined tends to make other girls jealous (from what I’ve observed). Can often mean they dont have many female friends which is a cause of hurt for them. That in itself doesn’t add to any attraction for me however, although I can see the logic behind it for other men as we like to provide and help women in some way, be it financially or “saving them”. Just not for me.

Barely-moral · 2021-06-23T23:42:43+00:00

If women in general hate something, then that something might have some value to me. If women in general hate a specific woman, then chances are that woman might be valuable to me.

Also, a woman with no female friends is a woman with less women around her influencing her to do stupid shit.

Also, a woman with issues is a woman I can help, if I can help her that means I can provide value to her. Everybody knows that if you can't provide value to a woman then she will not be with you. So the more issues a woman has, the more I can help, the more I can help, the more valuable I am to her.

TheBestRebirth · 2021-06-24T03:47:17+00:00

If she's hot, yes. If she's not, then no.

Avicii4life_123 · 2021-06-24T09:54:37+00:00

IDK when women are jealous it usually means the other women is better in some ways and she knows it and all it really those, is making me notice the other women more it's not like instant attraction but more like I take a greater interest in her.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-06-23T19:16:57+00:00

Hot with low self esteem = low maintenance hot woman. Best of both worlds.

801735 · 2021-06-23T20:15:45+00:00

Are men attracted to women who are the victims of jealous bullying by other women?

No, men are not attracted to all women.

CantBonkThis · 2021-06-23T18:43:18+00:00

Saving the "damsel in distress"

Yes, this.

(although men picking on a woman doesn't seem to excite them in quite the same way)?

lol when does that happen?

TheChocolateBarsGuy · 2021-06-23T21:17:42+00:00

Um idk about that but from what i have observed women only tend to bully women who are seen as more attractive to them.

You see this on social media all the time. A good example is tiktok. When a morbidly obese woman posts a video all other women hype her up. Telling her how gorgeous and beautiful she is because they do not see her as competition. Now go on an absolutely beautiful womans tiktok an 8,9 or 10. You will see all the nasty comments from other women about her looks and body.

This is a big tactic because they cannot compete with women who are seen as more desirable to men.

I personally only date absolutely beautiful women. The types most men do not have the balls to approach and other women want to look like. They usually are hated by other women. Especially the ones less attractive than them.

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will45685 · 2021-06-23T19:36:11+00:00

I never really thought of that, so I guess you could say that I'm not unattacted to that kind of hypothetical woman. If this makes any sense.

QuenchlessGato · 2021-06-23T21:01:42+00:00

Savior complex

mydikishomofobik · 2021-06-23T21:05:33+00:00

First, a lot of men are probably oblivious. They grow up around other males, not participating in inter-female social dynamics. So they don't know, don't pay attention, or don't care about that stuff.

Secondly, a lot of men are white knight captain save-ems who love damsels in distress.

And third, a lot of men just like girls who are nice to them, look good, and have sex with them. They don't necessarily care what other women say about the woman.

shamrocktoi · 2021-06-23T21:10:15+00:00

It seems like these women are more likely to be attracted to guys that aren't interested in "white nighting " but they do crave this attention from what I've seen.

razormachine · 2021-06-23T21:14:37+00:00

>I've frequently seen men comment on other women being jealous of and mean to their partner/crush with pride.

If they are jealous of their woman it means that the woman is better then them in some way. If his partner is better then them then that raises his perceived value as well, and that makes them proud.

And sometimes they are right.

But also there are cases when valid criticism is met with an inflated sense of self worth... I had meet too much people which think that people hate them because they are just jealous, when in fact they are just shitty people.

IcarusKiki · 2021-06-23T21:30:42+00:00

Men claim to like less social women because that means she’s less exposed to competition. The more female friends she has, the more social she usually is, the more she goes out and meets men. Plus more influence and control over her.

goblin_champ · 2021-06-23T21:56:45+00:00

I dont think thats how it works. If a girls is being bullied for her femininity or something positive then we will like the girl. But not because she is bullied, instead for those good qualities.

If a girl is being bullied because she is a slut or a cheater or something, then thats not gonna make us like her.

-Azwel- · 2021-06-24T00:53:28+00:00

I might trick myself into liking her more if I defend her from the bullies.

Whisper · 2021-06-24T01:09:52+00:00

I've noticed that (at least some) men seem to love the idea of being with a woman who is bullied by other women

So you have noticed your own beliefs, and can correctly perceive how the world seems to you.

Good job, I guess.

CraptainToad · 2021-06-24T04:34:24+00:00

lmao that kinda woman is only good for fucking

Ask_For_Cock_Pics · 2021-06-24T07:40:15+00:00

This situation is alien to me, probably because I avoid drama in general. But after thinking about it, i'm definitely more likely attracted to a victim than a bully. But more attracted to women who don't have drama period.

insertcredit2 · 2021-06-24T10:39:58+00:00

I don't know if attracted to is the right word but I think the whole damsel in distress thing works because it opens up an opportunity for a men to show his worth.

Freevoulous · 2021-06-24T13:54:32+00:00

Several reasons:

Men, by and large, find the women culture to be ridiculously petty, mean and small minded, so we like to counter it when we can.
Many men also were bullied in life, so we know how it feels and empathize.
Yep, preselection. Bullied women are almost always picked up on due to jealousy, which is well funded (9 times out of 10 it is because they are attractive and their bullies are ugly).
Reverse-preselection. Jealous bullies are extremely unattractive, so that leaves us the only option of going after the bullied women.
"Damsel in Distress" is sometimes a factor, but not very often. Mostly with high-empathy men.
It often works in reverse: bullied women are more actively looking for a partner, because they need some happiness in life. They are slightly more likely to make the first move, even if they are otherwise shy.

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2021-06-24T14:18:59+00:00

Depends on why she's being bullied. If it's because she has big tits and a firm ass then definetly I'm attracted.

Serious. Idk. I stood up for a girl once in highschool when other girls talked trash about her being "easy" and "slutty". In retrospective she was quite slutty, but no one has the right to judge others like that you know.

We ended being good friends and I banged her a couple times too, so I don't know if that counts as a "yes".

lulll · 2021-06-24T14:52:52+00:00

guys like girls who get bullied....if they are cute. that's about it lol. i think guys like girls who shit talk and/or get jealous over other girls because it's funny, most girls are always 'team girl' so when you see a girl being nasty to another girl its surprising. a lot of girls seem like they have that one girl who they have hated their entire lives, like some nemesis lol, its just funny as hell

RedPill115 · 2021-06-25T09:28:49+00:00

A thought I had from this comment:
All the other women in our work group look down on her and claim they don't know or want to know how to cook. Which I find funny, because if there ever was a woman that I would put a ring on...
I've noticed that (at least some) men seem to love the idea of being with a woman who is bullied by other women, especially if they perceive the reason for that bullying is jealousy.

This seems pretty obvious isn't it?
Men are attracted to her because of her attractive qualities.
Other women try to bully her because of her attractive qualities.

I'm not sure where the confusion is here...I've read it described as "cartel behavior". A new drug dealer moves in with higher quality product at lower prices. Sure you could raise your quality and lower prices but what's easiest is to eliminate the new dealer instead.

None of these feel quite right, but I've seen this behavior often enough that I feel like there has to be an explanation.

Obviously the purchasers of the "drugs" don't want all competition eliminated and are interested in protecting the person selling a better product for less.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-06-23T19:23:05+00:00

Not really. This is just white-knighting. Guys are swooping in to take advantage of the situation by coming to her rescue and hoping to get some puss for making her feel better.

Indis96 · 2021-06-23T21:21:08+00:00

I've noticed that (at least some) men seem to love the idea of being with a woman who is bullied by other women, especially if they perceive the reason for that bullying is jealousy.

I think in his example he wants to be seen as the guy as you said, saving the damsel in distress? idk, I see that as Actually saving a womens life, like genuilely being there for her makes the difference, hero type shit.

Honestly switch the gender of the women, if a guy went the extra to do shit for me without me asking, thats a sign of strong friendship, regardless if he is getting bullied by co-workers. (No homo)

A thought I had from this comment: (Link)

I think this is a valid view from the mans perspective, although we can't tell for sure without 100% context of being there.

I think she is getting ''bullied'' from her other co-workers because they are simply jealous that she is making a connection with him through cooking, and they dont/can't.

When a woman brags about not needing/knowing how to cook and clean, its a red flag for us men, these are basic ass tendencys that everyone needs to know!

All the other women in our work group look down on her and claim they don't know or want to know how to cook.

Although IDK where OP lives in the world but Europe at least there still is plenty of 'feminine' women that know how to cook , and will obey a man's boundaries without having an argument, unlike women in America (Apparently) that act masculine in the name of ''feminism''.

I think the dude in question here in that comment you linked, is happy that he found a coworker that acts feminine, and from the start, respects his boundaries? (No dating rule at work). Time will tell if she actually is a quality/high value women, theres more that comes at play, espicially if you want a LTR.

(although men picking on a woman doesn't seem to excite them in quite the same way)?

A man showing genuine agression that isn't 'playful' so to speak is a red flag, we are hard wired by biology that transitions to mindset, a woman on average is naturally weaker than a man.So being agressed by a man vs a woman is totally different and not the same thing.

Men > Men, is much more violent then Women>Women who are more backstabbing, craftier with their emotions, then just men throwing punches and getting skulls dented in.

Which is also why I think believing in ''equality'' is dangerous asf, and garbage.

men seem to love the idea of being with a woman who is bullied by other women, especially if they perceive the reason for that bullying is jealousy.

Meh, I have and know a lot of girls that get 'bullied/shamed' by their classmates, and co-workers, a lot of drama in a womens life. Not once did I have the intention to be-friend and/or try to fuck them using the exucse ''damsel in distress'', well thats also becuase all the friends I have, have always approached me first in most cases, women included.

The only one time I did the ''saved the damsel in distress'' is when I genuilely let a girl sleep and mine for a week because she was homeless (Severe issues at family), no emotions where attached either, and she only asked me, becuase she trusted me the most to not act creepy, which was a good sign, fast forward 4 years, shes one of my best girl (friends).

and since its strictly platonic and no feelings of love are present, its an equal friendship that isn't simping/ one sided...

Predatory men who are interested in women who don't have many friends and have low self-esteem? None of these feel quite right, but I've seen this behavior often enough that I feel like there has to be an explanation.

Thats just a small percentage of men, im betting lower then average, these are scumbags that use emotions to their advantage to the extreme, being narcissists, making up lies, really untrustworth etc.

Sure you could call them the ''assholes'' but theres a difference between being a playful asshole, and a genuine asshole such as manipulating women against their own will.

Dont confuse that knowing how women operate with their emotions is highly important for the man to understand. We are different, we Operate and think differently, despite overlapping factors of course.

Title	Are men attracted to women who are the victims of jealous bullying by other women? If so, why?
Author	moon5tone
Upvotes	31
Comments	135
Date	June 23, 2021 6:29 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/o6iwuq/are_men_attracted_to_women_who_are_the_victims_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-men-attracted-to-women-who-are-the-victims-of.786228 https://theredarchive.com/post/786228

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