Biggest mistake?

tyyyy110 · 2023-10-17T03:11:34+00:00

Still giving a damn about the creature..(I meant) ex feelings!

TheBoyBand · 2023-10-17T03:18:45+00:00

Giving a fuck about Da ThE MoThEr of Da ChiLdrEn, I should have left that bitch to the streets the minute she walked.

Gattsama · 2023-10-17T03:43:01+00:00

The reoccurring biggest mistake is to let your emotions lead during the process. Second is considering what happens to the eX or trying to be fair or thinking she won't fuck you over.

It's not every woman will fuck you. It's that every woman can. So you need to prepare for that, and if it happens, accept it as part of our fundamentally broken system.

The third is being too petty. The system is broken and is set up to extract money from you. There is no fair or just, just the system. If you can end the divorce, but you had to give her a few thousand more, or she got a bit more assets, just do it. She feels like she won. The hill to die on is the kids. If no kids or 50/50 is worked out, the rest of the stuff just needs to be good enough.

For example, in my case (no kids), I was essentially spending $15k/mo in a combination of court ordered temporary support, mortgage, utilities, etc. Mediation was in Nov and our court date was in Jan. That means 3 months minimum before a judge orders a final settlement if we don't work things out in mediation. That's $45k out of my pocket. So I was willing to 'give up' that money in mediation because it's the same outcome to me.

Just work on controlling your emotions and making logical choices. Learn everything you can about how the system works, and negotiate that deal. Do NOT trust the STBX or the judge to 'do the right thing.'

Melynthos1492 · 2023-10-17T05:51:42+00:00

Begging to stay . Only pushes them away faster

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-10-17T10:40:43+00:00

Thinking that she would be logical. As soon as she realised I’d moved on as wasn’t her emotional and financial support (after separation) she turned unreasonable. Tried to make “rules” about me seeing other women saying things like it wasn’t right for the kids etc, even though the kids never met any GF. Typical controlling behaviour you see here quite often. She honestly thought I’d just not get over her but she was wrong. All this even though she was the one who cheated and had a BF. The absolute nerve of her!!!

whiskey_piker · 2023-10-17T03:34:34+00:00

Waiting so long. Allowing my Ex to have any influence to the pace of the process.

Careless_Payment9298 · 2023-10-17T08:52:49+00:00

Not watching Coach Corey Wayne & Tyler the Fiend on youtube and not Reading The Comeback Chronicles sooner

ColdHandGee · 2023-10-17T14:55:18+00:00

Saying "I do!".

savage_cabbages · 2023-10-17T10:40:16+00:00

Stupid communication back and fourth, looking for closure and not dropping it sooner

JonathanApple · 2023-10-17T14:17:25+00:00

Getting baited into arguments... Don't do it no matter what

wodanob508 · 2023-10-17T15:34:47+00:00

Trying to find middle ground and treat her as a honorable party. This is war, you make peace after war, not during.

AdvancedAd3507 · 2023-10-17T12:54:29+00:00

Thinking that killing myself would solve anything.

rhett342 · 2023-10-17T16:37:42+00:00

Thinking the woman I'm divorcing is the same woman I married.

SleepyTobi · 2023-10-17T03:30:38+00:00

i didn't give her a timelin to refinance the car out of my name and now I can't get approved for anything due to DTI

Accomplished-Toe5220 · 2023-10-17T18:57:28+00:00

No one is your friend. Everyone is going to take everything they can from you. Courts, long time friends, judges... Everyone.

allendale100000 · 2023-10-17T12:53:15+00:00

Dating before divorce was final. Trust me, you’re not ready.

PNW_Uncle_Iroh · 2023-10-17T17:19:27+00:00

Trying to be amicable.

notyourmama827 · 2023-10-17T19:31:49+00:00

Guys listen up.......the number one mistake that you could make is deciding whatever it is "𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟" to you.

It does . And if you have a problem , legally get it ruled on .

Listen to the message , forget the messenger........

jkw118 · 2023-10-17T13:13:52+00:00

Not getting a different lawyer after the custody was done. For ie, I've sent him 3 emails and a call about the finalization ppwk.. in the past two weeks.. Haven't heard back at all. This is how it's been for 7 years. -- It's not all his fault. I should be pushing more, exs lawyers died 3x...

And she's done everything she could to drag it out, and to extend it as much as possible.

I've been way too nice, and she's constantly tried to get me and the kids to pitty her. (I gave her a chance in the very beginning after she cheated several times, and abandoned me and the kids.) 2 months after that she was like take me back. I said no. And it's been a constant, we should get back together, we were great together.. I'm like no, so she constantly brings up memories whenever I drop off the kids or do anything for the kids when she has them. She throws it in my face as I walk out the door.

Pedroknopfel · 2023-10-17T13:29:35+00:00

Thinkinng thats its not over yet. I move out bc our relations was damaging our 4 children. I saw the same aggresive behauvior of my wife and me on my kids. Then i knew i have to move out. My mystake was that i acted like is wasnt over yet. Didnt talk to a lawyer and after a few weeks trying to talk again to work things out with her, I found out that she has put a order against me. Now im in a powerless position regarding the kids.

dnbndnb · 2023-10-17T14:30:08+00:00

Biggest mistake? Losing my shit on the phone to my ex- when she told me she was telling people it was a mutual decision (outright lying about it). I unloaded 30 years of her bullshit back on her in one phone call and a subsequent text (I doubt buttercup ever showed anyone). I’m sure she used that to justify in her mind I was “unsafe” and tell her gf’s that, while conveniently ignoring all the reasons why I unloaded upon her.

techrmd3 · 2023-10-17T18:21:51+00:00

Eh not filing first

Ecstatic-Hospital500 · 2023-10-17T19:05:32+00:00

Not taking her threat straight to the magistrate and kicking her out of my house

FullMetalKub · 2023-10-18T00:21:33+00:00

Overwhelming them and not giving the space

Fuzzy_Development_37 · 2023-10-18T16:10:22+00:00

Believing what your ex says on how the whole divorce process will go

Title	Biggest mistake?
Author	phuckyew18
Upvotes	12
Comments	42
Date	October 17, 2023 2:56 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/179odqj/biggest_mistake/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/biggest-mistake.1235376 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235376

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