child's birthday

bopapocolypse · 2022-10-05T23:58:02+00:00

In my opinion, you made the right decision. You need to set boundaries for what you feel comfortable with. If you forced yourself to go to the party, you’d be miserable and your son would be able to tell. That’s no way to celebrate a birthday. Picking another weekend, doing something you enjoy together, and really being present for your son - that’s doing it right.

Shitpostradamus · 2022-10-05T23:08:59+00:00

Do you guys split custody? I have no desire to spend time with my cheating ex wife, so we split my daughters birthday in half. It works now because she isn’t in school and doesn’t have parties to herself yet. Guess my question is why does she get the birthday and you don’t? Or why aren’t you at least splitting the day?

Do you think your son will be upset he didn’t see you on his birthday? I don’t think you declining is wrong, just wondering the optics behind not being able to see him at all unless you go to the party with your whore ex wife

Feinixaway · 2022-10-06T00:50:13+00:00

No you're not wrong. That would've been really awkward to be honest.

If hunting is an activity he likes then I'm sure you guys will have an awesome time. I wouldn't worry about it.

derelictherds · 2022-10-06T01:08:59+00:00

Nope, not wrong. I've been divorced for several years and still won't/don't pal around with my ex. Things might be different if she'd ended the marriage differently.

Old-Supermarket5361 · 2022-10-05T23:47:12+00:00

Had a birthday party for my 5-year old daughter this year and did not invite my cheating ex-wife. Do not regret it for a minute. You don't owe anything to her anymore. Enjoy YOUR time with your kids and celebrate when you have them. Let this be an opportunity to explain boundaries to your children if they have questions.

wescowell · 2022-10-06T00:32:37+00:00

You’re right. You do you.

captainchippsixx · 2022-10-06T00:37:35+00:00

Nope. F her. I would have told her so. You were a crappy wife and are a crappy human.

Njmet · 2022-10-06T02:03:26+00:00

Correct course of action…. Set your boundaries and have your own birthday party with your son on your time. Stay strong and hold the line….

Gattsama · 2022-10-06T03:14:50+00:00

My parents divorced when I was in 8th grade. They did a few major events together (graduation, weddings) but everything else we just keep separate. And let me tell you I preferred it that way.

Dad and I would go skiing. Just the two if us. Normally for a few days. I was much happier with him alone on a trip then at the party.

He's 15, he'll be fine. Cool Dad time and 'male bonding' is worth way more to him (most likely, everyone is unique) then you being at the party and the tension between you and the AP.

For the record, my parents never said a bad word about each other in front of the kids (that they thought we could hear) and he never lived more than 30 mins away. My sister and I turned out great.

Just love your kid and keep the adult stuff between the adults. Good luck man 👍

hombredelgato · 2022-10-06T01:15:27+00:00

Definitely not wrong

Mjolnir37 · 2022-10-06T02:06:06+00:00

Absolutely not wrong

James1933-75 · 2022-10-06T02:24:48+00:00

I am not even divorced officially, and I had parties for my children and didn't even inform the ex. None of her business. You did the right thing.

TheBoyBand · 2022-10-06T03:11:03+00:00

No your not wrong PERIOD, boundaries, do you, worry about you and your child F*** cheating X. Im already not going to my kids weddings in like 10 years or so just the church. 😂😂😂 (im still fresh lmao)

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-10-06T10:57:11+00:00

> Am I wrong for declining?

Not at all. Do your own thing with your son, just like any other celebration/holiday.

4rdfun · 2022-10-06T14:28:00+00:00

Good call, that would be a horrible situation to be in and your son (I have a 16yo son myself, and one 6yo son) would pick up on it, don't do that to yourself. I'm sure he'll miss you but the hunting weekend with just you guys totally is more valuable than some bullshit party. Hang in there man, this stuff sucks and I for one am smack dab in the middle of it presently.

Jbr74 · 2022-10-06T14:48:47+00:00

Hire a hot escort and ask if you can bring someone to dinner.

If you are lucky, the boyfriend will hit on her, you will break up your ex's relationship.

upvotersfortruth · 2022-10-06T03:46:11+00:00

If you're divorced, then better to man up if you can, and go for your son.

dragonfly323 · 2022-10-06T01:24:04+00:00

You are not wrong. You will be happier celebrating with your son in your own way and I think he will happier too not having to see how uncomfortable you will be in that situation.

hidyhowareya · 2022-10-06T02:33:41+00:00

She is just trying to play the part of having the nuclear family, she doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of the you spending any time with shit you don’t feel comfortable doing. I for sure would say FUCK off, good for you Brother!

haharrhaharr · 2022-10-06T07:47:19+00:00

Hell no.

Girl_Dad42 · 2022-10-06T10:46:34+00:00

Nope. Not wrong. My situation was the same as yours as far as the ex. Told me one day she wanted a divorce. Found out there was someone in her ear. I have 50/50 custody and made sure in my custody agreement that I had time with each of my daughters should they not be with me on their birthdays. I haven’t been asked to do anything jointly with the ex but I’m sure it will happen at some point with some milestone events coming within the next year. I would have refused to join them for a birthday dinner.

aerial_coitus · 2022-10-06T16:10:49+00:00

dirtycochise · 2022-10-06T17:27:22+00:00

Nah man you’re completely valid in that. Talk to your son if you feel the need but at his age I’m sure hen understands

King_Cobra_666 · 2022-10-06T21:05:13+00:00

its never wrong to set personal boundaries. she is a psycho for even offering you.

Title	child's birthday
Author	Aware-Plate-255
Upvotes	31
Comments	39
Date	October 5, 2022 10:53 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/xwp0aw/childs_birthday/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/childs-birthday.1134942 https://theredarchive.com/post/1134942

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