Ex is saying she’s depressed

James_Jimothy · 2024-04-30T17:12:21+00:00

Your unstable ex likes the attention she gets from using you as her emotional tampon and crutch while getting boned by the bad boy. All while she avoids introspection in lieu of self-pity. End this ASAP. Your time is too valuable.

Any destructive behavior that can create instability collect evidence on to get protection for your child away from that chaos.

I’m not sure how old your son is, but be mindful of their future son/mother dynamic as she may do the same to him: use him as a crutch to mold him into a nice guy pushover and target for opportunists.

Seemedlikefun · 2024-04-29T22:33:35+00:00

Why would you try to reconcile multiple times with someone who keeps running back to her lover? Why are you serving as her emotional vomit bag? Why don't you have a parenting app, and only communicate with her through that? Why aren't you afraid that a person who self harms, may not be safe for your child? C'mon man!

FuriousSasquatch · 2024-04-29T18:43:33+00:00

Nah man, let her go deal with her stuff without you. It sucks and is a struggle at times because you did/probably still do care to a point. She is an adult and as such can seek help for whatever she is going through. It's cold to say and do, but she isn't your problem anymore. I get you wanting to help her for your kid and that's commendable. Just understand that in doing so you are allowing yourself to be used by her.

BoeingA320neo-9 · 2024-04-29T18:19:46+00:00

Why the F you care ?

She doesn't care about you Never did

This is just a mind games to F you up

You go back You get cucked by her

MissionToe3030 · 2024-04-28T17:17:35+00:00

Put this in your mind: you’re not helping her but it’s prolong her issues. It’s time her to be accountable for her actions. That’s the only way for her to change.

Character_Hippo90 · 2024-04-28T12:34:06+00:00

You have to reach a point where unless it involves your child it shouldn't matter to you. Stop attempting to placate her issues by even listening to her bickerings. Just give it a break.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-04-28T02:36:31+00:00

You're her friend-zoned emotional support ex. Maybe you enjoy it.

Sacramentardo · 2024-04-28T00:36:00+00:00

Not your circus, not your clowns. Unless it impacts your kids, obviously.

99corsair · 2024-04-28T00:17:28+00:00

If you feel like your children is not safe (self-harm, etc) tell your lawyer. It may help you get custody if you want that, then she can get her shit together, also keep in mind you're not her emotional pillow anymore, let her deal with her shit like any adult.

somethingsimple89535 · 2024-04-28T00:14:50+00:00

I hope you’re documenting and reporting her self harm. Mental illness is fucked, and it can quickly spiral out of control. The last thing you want is for it to trickle down to your kids.

playerknowmore · 2024-04-27T22:40:02+00:00

I remember an ex once came crawling back. I'll never forget the look on her face when I told that the guy she was dating lowered her value, and I would never give him the benefit to think we are in the same league.

I know it would have been easier to say I don't date backward, but the extra dig brought me pleasure.

gabriel-kornilov · 2024-04-27T22:39:40+00:00

...we tried to reconcile multiple times but it never ends well. She constantly runs back to this dude...

Yes. You definitely should say fuck it and leave me alone. Take care of your child but that's it. She's playing you. Let the "dude she constantly runs back to" take care of her. She's his problem now. Not yours. End of the story.

probebeta · 2024-04-27T21:51:25+00:00

She is no longer your problem. That's the silverlining of the divorce.

Embarrassed-Safe-670 · 2024-04-27T21:37:50+00:00

Once an ex screws another dude it's over. Her life is her own now. Go on with yours.

alternative40m · 2024-04-27T21:24:53+00:00

She's trying to drag you down into her depression. I don't know if she sees you as doing better or just doesn't like the fact that you can exist without her.

Either way, what she's doing is toxic. It'd be better to just tell her that she made her choice and you've moved on.

sand_man2199 · 2024-04-27T20:49:13+00:00

Call me an arsehole but I'd feel joy knowing that it wasn't me that was the root of her depression and now she's stuck with Bob the bum as her only option. Don't be her crutch, your focus is your child and nothing else. Be the stable parent and be there for them.

Sea_Purple2104 · 2024-04-27T20:13:41+00:00

Most likely she reaches out to you after a fight with her current boyfriend. That js why you will hear from her once in awhile and then she disappears again when things are good with him.

Neat-Command1135 · 2024-04-27T19:24:32+00:00

Move on...

Remarkable_Egg492 · 2024-04-27T18:56:31+00:00

No situation is the same, and call me an asshole, but if my ex left me for a loser like that and then told me she was depressed, I'd find joy in it. She just wants to ride the Ferris wheel again. Bitch fuck off.

CaptMixTape · 2024-04-27T18:23:13+00:00

Don’t be the emotional crutch. Take care of your kid to the best of your ability and let her figure out her own shit. It sucks she hurts herself, and if that starts to impact your child, you have a duty to get that child away from her for their well being. She is an adult and made her choices. It’s not your problem anymore. Be thankful

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-04-27T18:14:41+00:00

When they make their own bed and it doesn't go well and start to drift back to you is never a easy decision. If you've done all the work to get to a better place why would you want to go back to the negative past? Fuck it and keep it moving unless it starts to affect your kid.

Ancient-Homework7557 · 2024-04-27T15:27:12+00:00

Mother of your children or not, she sounds manipulative and only cares about you when it suits her. That's no way to be treated. Total bullshit. Respect yourself and don't stand for that shit.

21YearsofHell · 2024-04-27T15:17:48+00:00

There are parts of your description of her that make me want to suggest you head on over to r/BPDlovedones and see if anything sounds familiar…

Practical-Island-436 · 2024-04-27T15:01:03+00:00

I'd take her back to court and have a psych eval done

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-27T14:46:20+00:00

You stopped being her white knight when you divorced. She's a grown ass adult and can take care of herself, just like she did before marriage.

You don't seen to understand that you are her Plan B. When shit isn't going well in her life (in her mind), she reaches out to you to be her emotional tampon. You need to set and enforce boundaries. When she texts you, if it's not about the day to day caregiving of your child, then you ignore it. If she calls you, let it go to voicemail then listen to it. Again, if it's not about your child, you ignore it.

CrazySanta7 · 2024-04-27T14:26:07+00:00

"Please do not contact me unless it is about the kids. I will not read it or respond, Thank you"

That's it. Done. Stop focusing on her man, her mental health, etc. Focus on you and your kid(s). Trust me, she is not worried about anything you've been through. Set some boundries and stick to them. There is no going back to this woman. Have some respect for yourself. Good luck man.

Lumptbuttcat · 2024-04-27T14:18:45+00:00

Two pieces of advice.

You can care about her. She is the mother of your child. Caring about her does not mean taking care of her. No longer your obligation.

You can’t help her. You just can’t. There’s nothing you can do.

Android_1234 · 2024-04-27T14:17:19+00:00

Yea I would say time to cut any contact except for dealing with your child. Sounds like she is still wanting to get some sort of emotional value out of you while not giving any back herself. She has already proven to you how she feels about you.

Focus on you and your child. Not having to deal with that will allow you to push forward and make quicker strides.

watermelonstrong · 2024-04-27T14:15:41+00:00

From what I'm interpreting, you've tried to reconcile more than once with this other guy in the picture?

I've been cheated on and it's flipped the word love upside down and inside out for me. I don't know what love is or if it's real. But what I do know is she doesn't love you. And wont stay with you or be loyal to you.

There's this fuckwit guy in the picture, and if not him, someone else eventually. Just not you. Your time together has already ended. Im reflecting my own mirror here but it's painfully obvious when a women doesn't want you or a life with you

So, yes just grey rock and completely ignored her except for discussions around your child. Best of luck

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2024-04-27T14:13:40+00:00

Forget about her, she has no respect for you she’s already has a dude lined up

Title	Ex is saying she’s depressed
Author	helloworld2389023
Upvotes	24
Comments	44
Date	April 27, 2024 1:47 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ceexdv/ex_is_saying_shes_depressed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/ex-is-saying-shes-depressed.1516569 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516569

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