What would you do?

warwww · 2023-07-12T13:37:33+00:00

LOL - I stopped reading at "...living with her new bf".

In all seriousness. You are worth more than this. Let's assume you had a son - would you suggest he do the pick me dance for a woman that's sexually involved with another man on the regular? Makes zero sense.

Mesothelioma1021 · 2023-07-12T13:53:40+00:00

Don’t be content with being Option B

captainchippsixx · 2023-07-12T13:40:44+00:00

Don’t be a doormat. She is banging another guy and your asking what do I do? But a great role model for your kid.

You should go light speed to divorce and file she has abandoned the home.

Look it you want to be stupid down the road and get back together, get a divorce and start over with prenup.

i_am_buzz_lightyear · 2023-07-12T13:43:21+00:00

WTF dude. Read "leave a cheater, gain a life". Do you have any pride, dignity, or self worth. She doesn't get a choice anymore.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-07-12T13:50:06+00:00

Yeah buddy, she’s just afraid to lose her safety net. She’ll pull out all the stops - “we’ve been through so much together” “we need to try for the kids” bla bla bla. If she gave one shit about you she wouldn’t be humiliating you by sleeping around.

Ditch, grey rock, block, whatever. Take her back and you’ll get fucked over again.

hotantipasta · 2023-07-12T14:05:02+00:00

"she's scared of me being gone forever" = she scared of your money and resources not being available to her. She needs more time to make sure her plan is going to work before she shitcans you permanently. Leave, go live your own life. Don't be her plan B or C.

Reflog1791 · 2023-07-12T13:56:58+00:00

Of course she wants to come back after the grass wasn’t greener. It’s a very simple matter of self respect. Move on.

life-is-short- · 2023-07-12T13:31:31+00:00

F that.

CrazySanta7 · 2023-07-12T14:55:20+00:00

Today is the day you stop this b.s. She is banging another dude, and you are sitting by the phone like a puppy dog. Stop playing the 'pick me' game. You are plan D, in case plan A, B, and C don't work out.

You are NOT someone's second choice. If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. Stop being her emotional tampon and take charge of your life. Read No More Mr Nice Guy and stand up for yourself. Block her. If you have kids, only talk about kids. Ignore all the other drama. There are millions of women in this world. Just imagine some unattractive woman who keeps communicating that she wants you. She keeps messaging you, hoping you will change your mind. She says she will wait for you forever. Does that make you more attracted to her? F no. Stay strong. Come back to this post in a few years, and hopefully you will laugh at it because you became much stronger. Lets go.

SelectionNo3078 · 2023-07-12T14:18:45+00:00

we tried to make it work a few times but each time she was talking to other guys behind my back. She has been living with her new bf at his families house and seeing our kid at my place.

i'm so sorry you're going through this brother.

i still don't know if my wife ever had sex with someone but multiple hidden emotionally intimate friendships with men and women while denying me that basic connection and living in a dead bedroom for 20 years

i wish i knew for sure that she fucked someone...it would make it SO MUCH EASIER to start to fucking hate her instead of holding on to hope even now after the paperwork for divorce has begun

absolutely not. please cut this disgusting woman out of your life

MrEgusi · 2023-07-12T16:17:47+00:00

"What do you think"??? 😳

Grab your balls out of her purse ... Have some self respect, man!!!!

KhaoticPrime · 2023-07-12T14:34:42+00:00

Nah, I think you are too smart to take her back. It'll suck because you were geniune but you need to man up and respect yourself. Leave, guarantee you can find a woman better than her and doesn't two time you.

billsfan305 · 2023-07-12T14:38:56+00:00

Keep it moving bro. She basically wants to keep you as a safe backup plan while she has her fun with her bf. Even if she comes back she going to want to get stretched by another man. You’re serving as a safety net and she’ll jump again even if she comes back

ranger69danger · 2023-07-12T15:10:19+00:00

Your child deserves a father that is able to set boundaries of steel to protect his family. For me - and YMMV - that woman is no linger family.

xjeeperx · 2023-07-12T15:17:14+00:00

File for divorce bro. She can’t have her cake and eat it too. If she was really scared of you being gone she would be fucking other guys…

Cowfootstew · 2023-07-12T15:36:32+00:00

Just think about her and her new BF making onlyfans content. She's not thinking of you beyond the resources that you are taking with you when you leave.

playerknowmore · 2023-07-12T17:50:42+00:00

Don't be the safety net. Once she someone gets away with it, it only gets worse. It is okay to respect yourself enough that even people you love can't walk all over you.

mrclark121 · 2023-07-12T19:55:48+00:00

Brother why in God's name would you have anything to do with that woman after she started living with her new bf? Im sure there is a bunch more to the story but still she is waking up in the morning with some other dude. Nah that wouldn't fly in my game.....

ronin2722 · 2023-07-12T16:50:08+00:00

Move on my guy, she spread her legs you need to leave.

rsmiley77 · 2023-07-12T17:24:37+00:00

I honestly don’t know what the OP is hoping for here. The solution is obvious. The only explanation is he wants to talk about it more or go back to what I can only imagine being a crappy life. Gross 🤢

Jsutton3187 · 2023-07-12T21:12:34+00:00

Move on plenty of fish out there to take your mind off her. Respect yourself!

ArtichokeSavings9472 · 2023-07-12T22:07:06+00:00

Uhhhh stop talking to her immediately she’s trying to sell you a forever scenario and couldnt even hang without jumping into bed with other dudes . I would first cut her off in every way immediately no social media no phone call no text nothing don’t even let her see you give her nothing then I would I would work on myself Get into a gym build a strong body build and a strong mind make money and leave her in the dust !! You said “we “ but she was with other guys the whole time so it’s really a I’ve bent over backwards to try to make her happy while she did whatever she wanted and totally disrespected me. she didn’t take the situation seriously … the real answer is stop worrying about this. You already poured over eight months of time into this, and it wasn’t even worth it to begin with. You’re wasting time go somewhere else and build yourself up and be an even better man and find a woman who’s worth your time

fredatbu · 2023-07-12T23:14:37+00:00

My vote = Move on. Don’t sit around waiting for another helping of crazy. You and your kids deserve better.

hpsportsfanatic · 2023-07-12T23:19:29+00:00

Run dude.

hpsportsfanatic · 2023-07-12T23:21:38+00:00

See how she responds “give me a few days to think if I want my gf or you”. See how she reacts

Character_Hippo90 · 2023-07-12T23:50:49+00:00

You know what to say and do, therefore you don’t need our opinion

DriveByTroll · 2023-07-12T23:54:10+00:00

Her still loving you seems like something her BF and landlord should know

tellmemorelies · 2023-07-13T00:06:27+00:00

She asked for time to think about if she wants her bf or me.

Do her a favor, help her make the choice, tell her you are no longer an option.

She can go hang out with the bf

dadplup · 2023-07-13T01:37:39+00:00

My nex she was planning on leaving me and take the kids from Texas to Indiana , we had an agreement that as long as she didn't try to take my kid out of state I wouldn't fight her for custody, that's when she told me that she didn't know if she wanted a divorce or not, that she was gonna wait a year or two before making her mind, I guess she thought I was gonna agree, I didn't and I filed for divorce the next day we didn't follow thru with that filing and stayed but I didn't turn my back on her again eventually we did divorce it was finalized last year

What she was doing is that she wanted her cake and eat it too, she was playing both sides against the middle, see she thought I would just agree with her and wouldn't fight or stand up to her, when I did she was shocked, 8 years after that first time she was served with the papers she is still upset about it today, like really really upset, to get it was unforgivable, she never learned from that either

Imo your partner is doing the same thing and you deserve better, so not let her string you along and do what's best for you, she's already doing what's best for her anyway without thinking how it affects you so think of yourself for a change good luck to you

Ren87z · 2023-07-13T01:54:52+00:00

Bruh she living with the new bf and you still have to think about it? Fuck that shit! Move on, man! She cant be getting dick down somewhere else and get her fill and then come back to what she considers a safety net. Best you can do is move on and look for a girl who will appreciate you and value what you have to offer.

sixtysixpixistix · 2023-07-13T01:58:13+00:00

Each time she was talking to other guys behind my back.

Dude. It's time to call it. It's at the point where you can't trust a sound she utters, so, it's over.

The pretense of trust only serves to help her fuck things up wirse.

funk205 · 2023-07-12T15:46:21+00:00

Dude, first of all respect yourself. Second of all, she just set status quo by making herself a visitor and you a custodial parent. IANAL but I have to believe you’re in a favorable position for a divorce. I would lawyer up and close the deal.

A_StableGenius · 2023-07-12T16:41:25+00:00

For a klondike bar?

Antique_Librarian_96 · 2023-07-12T18:45:06+00:00

If you’re ready to be done, be done. You shouldn’t have to wait to be happy.

Proud_Atmosphere8478 · 2023-07-13T04:19:25+00:00

You should not even have to think about it. MOVE ON! Do not even give her an option. If your hellbent on being in a relationship remember their are thousands of single women that are longing to get into a relationship, just make sure to vet properly. Make sure the next one doesn’t have the qualities you disliked about your ex.

ronin2722 · 2023-07-13T15:04:49+00:00

Lol you did the right thing. My stbx didn't cheat, I left her, I don't miss her I miss the companionship.

Title	What would you do?
Author	helloworld2389023
Upvotes	19
Comments	62
Date	July 12, 2023 1:23 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/14xohuk/what_would_you_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-would-you-do.1225034 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225034

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