I thought sharing my story could help others navigating a similar situation, so here it goes.

About nine years ago, my now ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce. Like many, I didn’t see it coming. Things weren’t perfect (like most relationships), but I thought they were good enough. Looking back, I realize there were probably red flags along the way, but I was too busy working and trying to build a better future for us to notice them.

We had been together since high school—she was everything I knew. Not just my wife, but my best friend and, in many ways, the only family I had. Losing her was devastating on all levels. Financially, I lost everything. Like many men in that situation, I was too consumed by pain to care about material things, so I let it all go. The only thing we divided equally was the remaining debt—money we had spent furnishing the home we lived in. That home, by the way, was an old place her parents owned, which we renovated—something I now realize was a terrible investment.

I don’t know if I was cheated on. Maybe I was. But honestly, at the time, that wasn’t my main concern.

For the first three months, I cried every day. For the next three, I cried every other day. It took me around nine months to even attempt dating again—and I say attempt because I had no clue how to do it. I had to learn how to use dating apps and how to approach women, only to realize that unlike in high school, other things mattered now—like status, career, and bank balance.

Over the next three years, I went on many dates, had a few short relationships, and learned some tough lessons. I had to figure out how not to be taken advantage of (which was harder than I expected) and how to overcome my own traumas. I also invested heavily in myself—physically, because let’s be honest, attraction matters; and mentally, by gaining knowledge and becoming more interesting. This entire process took five or six long years.

Then, I met my current wife.

We aligned perfectly in values (the most important thing), and she is by far the most amazing person I have ever met. We dated for a year and a half, got married, bought an apartment, and now she is expecting our child. I never imagined life would bless me like this, and I’m so incredibly grateful.

To any guy reading this who feels like their life is over—that they will never be happy again—That’s not true.

Give it time. Be patient. Invest in yourself.

Life will smile at you again.