I don't know why I cooked her the eggs

Particular_Car7127 · 2025-10-30T12:54:26+00:00

Next time, treat yourself to a full breakfast at a local restaurant. Learn to think about rewarding yourself and avoiding her childish resentful behavior. She created drama and you fell for it! Be a king.

dharmattan · 2025-10-29T23:17:32+00:00

There is more to this than eggs.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-10-29T08:15:05+00:00

They thrive on having control over you and respect you less every time you bend over, no matter how insignificant the request is. You may think nice is appreciated or rewarded, but it never is.

Leaning to say no, or better yet - You didn't say please, so no - is very liberating. Then wait for the tantrum, completely ignoring her. It's like having a spoiled teenage brat slamming the doors of her room, when she's told off. With consistency of saying no they will coldly hate you more, but eventually shut the fuck up and actually learn some respect, and stop pushing.

Is0prene · 2025-10-29T02:40:30+00:00

TBH this sounds like a really petty thing and you are in the phase of marriage where you are silently resenting each other for things you are not speaking up about. Is this really about the eggs or is this about something (or somethings) else that has been building up to the point you are blowing up over eggs and raging on a divorce forum? You probably from what it sounds like have lost all respect for her and think she is taking advantage of you and most likely she is thinking the same thing.

You have 2 scenarios, you can be mad at something someone has done to you, or you can be mad at something that someone is like a behavioral trait or character. I am thinking the latter because of your phrase "Deep down I knew that wasn't going to happen." Studies have shown with almost 95% certainty that if it is the latter scenario your marriage is doomed to fail or you stick together miserably until the day you die because you have zero respect for the other person and its almost impossible to get that back even with marriage therapy.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-10-29T01:32:40+00:00

Why didn’t you just ask her to pick up some fucking eggs on the way home instead of acting … well … like my ex wife by dropping hints instead of saying what you want

_CaptainCooter_ · 2025-10-29T01:11:05+00:00

I get it. I bought her a coffee while I was getting one. We were at the pumpkin patch with the kids. I handed it to her and I said I got you this platonically. She rolled her eyes. It only matters if you think it does, Id buy anyone a coffee. Im sure youd cook me eggs too bro

Reflog1791 · 2025-10-29T20:52:58+00:00

Get your eggs delivered. You eat them everyday your are on restock duty. It takes zero effort to cook three more eggs. Are you Ok man?

Reflog1791 · 2025-10-29T20:56:44+00:00

Man, you eat the eggs everyday. You can be a grownup and buy the eggs. That’s what you’ll have to do if you get divorced.

Expecting your spouse to buy the eggs without asking her to is crazy. Your wife asking for some eggs while you’re prepping your daily egg feast is not audacious at all.

I don’t want to egg you on but this is really a you problem. Read the book No more Mr nice guy. Lesson 1: quit expecting people to read your mind and ask for what you want with your words not “casually mentioning” little hints.

DivorcedStoic · 2025-10-30T22:12:24+00:00

Communication is important, imperfect, and incredibly difficult to get right. If you didn’t ask her to get eggs and she didn’t say she’d get eggs, you can’t expect her to get eggs.

If you would have refused to cook her eggs, then that would have been spiteful. Instead, you were kind.

Everything is out of your control other than your own actions. You don’t have to stoop to the level of spite and resentment.

Doxxing_myself33 · 2025-10-28T21:44:18+00:00

Do you help with the kids? Are you employed?

thegreatcerebral · 2025-10-28T20:28:01+00:00

Wait... are you divorced from this woman? What is your situation? I'm not sure what you are getting at here. You are a floormat for her.

You should have not gone and gotten the eggs. She wants them she can go get them if she wants you to cook them. OR... she can ask if you will go get them. If you feel that only you are putting work in then stop.

BornMaybe9902 · 2025-10-28T20:26:16+00:00

Did she have to get back home and get ready for work herself or was she coming home to lay on the couch all day? If I had to take the kids to school and come home and then get ready for work myself, I wouldn’t have wanted to stop either. If I was off/unemployed, I agree it does seem selfish.

Then-Stage · 2025-10-28T20:02:33+00:00

It could be she was wrapped up in the chaos of getting the kids off to school, tired out, or assumed you would eat something else before she got back. Or maybe your relationship is in the pits none of us can say.

That said try adopting a more clear form of communication so you can avoid having your feeling hurt in the future. "Can you please pick me up some eggs on the way home?" I learned the hard way- my spouse doesn't do hints. Good luck!

EnvironmentalRate853 · 2025-10-28T19:20:27+00:00

Mate, I hear ya. I’m the person you are. In part because I’m wired that way, in part because I know if I get eggs it’ll save a shit fight down the road. I got angry when my wife didn’t think the same way.

Then i realised I was just getting angry for my own fault. I make my choices to be the person I want to be. Why would expect my wife (or anyone) to think the same way I do? And expect trouble if you don’t communicate what you want. She probably has the same issue “I told my husband I’m tired but he didn’t do the laundry for me”.

If it’s just about the eggs, it’s on you. I suspect there a broader pattern here. There is probably a lot you could do yourself to adjust exceptions. Eg I have gone from being a “chronic over-servicer” to someone with slightly improved boundaries and comms.

Bagman220 · 2025-10-28T19:03:55+00:00

I always do/did everything for my ex. That’s just the person I am. I would have cooked her the eggs too. Don’t think I’ll ever change.

Successful_Flight718 · 2025-10-28T17:22:06+00:00

Bro, youre tripping. Do you really want your kids to grow up in a broken home over this nonsense.

Furthermore, did she even disrespect you at all whatsoever. You don't mention asking her to get eggs and her refusing to do so. Or her requesting you to get eggs. Or you telling her you didn't want to cook her eggs.

You sound like a crazy person. Tell people what you want them to do. Don't let people make you do what you don't want to do. Express yourself when you feel upset and make up. After you've thoroughly done all that, then start talking about your grievances and get hostile

fuzzydogdada · 2025-10-28T17:11:22+00:00

Many answers are missing here. But it does sound like both of you are taking each other for granted and not talking to each other.

This is one the most common problems in any relationship where one or both sides expect the other party to read the other's mind and act on it.

If you want your eggs, why didnt you ask for it? Ask nicely, "hey hon, on your way back can stop and get eggs?"

Why are you expecting that she keeps the eggs supplied? Is it something you already talked about and established a process?

And what is so wrong about doing something nice for your wife? It was nice of you to cook eggs for your wife. Even if you are doing "more than your share," both of you should always be looking to do something nice for the other.

Marriage shouldnt be about equality. Nobody should be keeping score. But you should be working towards a balance. What is the happy balance between you and wife? And it has to be running dialog so it may mean that both of you revisit the chores list frequently so that it works for both of you.

Accurate-Pilot-5666 · 2025-10-28T17:11:14+00:00

I also still live with my wife as we're going through the divorce. There's no point in creating animosity, and asking someone who's already making eggs to add another one to the pan is a reasonable request. In my case, I'm getting along with my wife much better since we decided to divorce. I think getting the decision behind us just took a big weight off her, and she's much more relaxed at home. In any case, as long as you still live together, you might as well be civil. Who wants more stress at home?

Derelict86 · 2025-10-28T17:05:53+00:00

Yeah, this seems like making a mountain out of a molehill. I'm all about expressing frustrations, but this doesn't seem to align with the target audience here whom are dealing with custody and financial issues, not who did or didn't buy the eggs. 🤷‍♂️

nonotmeporfavor · 2025-10-28T16:42:59+00:00

Did you ask your wife to get the eggs?

greenskies80 · 2025-10-28T16:35:19+00:00

I think regardless of whether you did or didnt cook her eggs, whats more important is your reaction and energy.

You cooked her eggs. Should u have? No. But even if u did, w/e this doesnt phase me, im indifferent of you, im just a gracious person even to shit people

You didnt cook eggs. Shes mad? Just calmly explain u dont think u should if she doesnt help pickup the eggs

Just respond calmly, she doesnt affect u. You do you.

MiloGoesToPorridge · 2025-10-28T16:34:45+00:00

Why are you on a divorce for men sub? Are you still married to her? Are you separated but still living under the same roof? If the latter, tell her to cook her own fucking eggs. If the former, what are you doing here bro?

Number5Jack · 2025-10-28T16:34:16+00:00

I feel this. If this is anything like my life she will tell you that you aint accountable next.

BathAutomatic6972 · 2025-10-28T16:29:35+00:00

Let's bracket this for a moment.

Contempt in women makes small things big and big things impossible in the way that love and connection creates psychic x-men able to discern emotional states and lift cars off children. Contempt makes people monsters who abandon their oaths in the absence of love and affection.

BUT.

Contempt does something really weird with men. It highlights the exact issue. It illuminates the problem really clearly, outlines the solution, gives you the gumption to change it.

In this gentleman's case the problem isn't the eggs—we all see that. It's the entitlement. It's the expectation. "HOW DARE YOU NOT SERVICE ME." It's no longer a sign of love and affection—it's a tithe. It's no longer appreciation for someone's partner doing work that is often unacknowledged (FAR TOO OFTEN, MEN!!!), it's a sign of compliance.

And the solution for this gentleman is very clear: stop doing it. If the reaction is emotional check in, care, an honest conversation about security and how she feels love and appreciation : GREAT, THANK YOU, THAT'S HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE. Have the conversation about how YOU want to feel those things too.

If it's this bullshit, then it's about control and power.

No-Spinach-169 · 2025-10-28T16:24:24+00:00

That’s because, like the majority of Western men, you (and most of us) are a heavily feminized simp. But don’t you worry, you are asking the right questions, meaning that your enlightenment has begun! Hurrah!!🙌

Funny_Object_5538 · 2025-10-28T16:24:09+00:00

Stop being a beta

HourWorking2839 · 2025-10-28T16:13:07+00:00

Ah honey, too bad, we are out and you did not bring any, remember?

The proceed to squash them all. Over the sink.

Title	I don't know why I cooked her the eggs
Author	DaveTheDrummer802
Upvotes	19
Comments	68
Date	October 28, 2025 4:06 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1oidgpw/i_dont_know_why_i_cooked_her_the_eggs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-dont-know-why-i-cooked-her-the-eggs.1565236 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565236

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