It’s done

Sovetcki · 2024-09-05T18:38:10+00:00

Dude women are evil. They are NOT good people. I met one good one in my life and the relationship ended because she was controlled by her parents and I wasn't attracted to her. That's why she was good.

Grow up and get the fuck over it. Your experience should prove my point.

I just got out of prison last week because my son's mother had me arrested for violating her bullshit restraining order after she slandered me in court, lied, and made up false accusations I spanked my son. As a result my overnight visitation was denied.

Accurate-Ad-6189 · 2024-09-05T16:35:37+00:00

Sorry to hear that mate Im at moment dealing with an Alcoholic wife thats making my life fucken miserable im on the urge to call it QUITS Ive done everything to help her but nothing works shes choosen Alcohol over me well thats going to cost our Marriage im done with it enough is enough time to move on to a happier life for me luckly for me im a Drummer and have my own studio at home thats keeping me going playing music thats my life.

Independent-Dirt-755 · 2024-09-05T15:26:07+00:00

Wait, so what happened? Why the divorce? How long were yall together and how long married?

Specialist-Camp-3798 · 2024-09-05T14:21:29+00:00

This is temporary. Things will get better, and you will move on. Stop focusing on her and the FOMO. There's plenty of other women out there, and a good amount of them will be kinder and more supportive than your ex. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, go live it!

Long-Review-1861 · 2024-09-05T12:36:50+00:00

Dude it's just your emotions talking, a year from now you will be with a new woman and will barely remember what your ex even looks like. That's life

jaceq777 · 2024-09-05T05:59:40+00:00

I'm with you man. I'm in a similar position. The pain really is overwhelming. You can talk to me if you want. I hope the pain will at least subside one day. I wish we didn't have all those great memories in our hearts so the loss didn't hurt so badly.

Enough_Youth_4564 · 2024-09-05T03:43:47+00:00

Hey, with all love and brotherhood I tell you, man up. She didn’t want to stay or give your relationship another chance, for whatever reason, then she’s not worthy of your feelings. Move on.

Longjumping-Cup-4018 · 2024-09-05T03:37:20+00:00

Say strong brother, man sacrifices everything for love while women sacrifice love for everything.

Ghost_eighty6 · 2024-09-05T01:48:44+00:00

Time heals all, you will get over this.

WittyBeautiful7654 · 2024-09-05T01:32:04+00:00

Hey bub , someone here told me. They'd not the women you loved. She's dead now, you gonna have to find a new life. I've done it three times, I know it smarts like hell. And it should means it was real. Talk to your God, go to the gym. Start eating better get rest and plenty of sun. This time next year, life will be better. If you chose to make it better. Stop drinking if you do. Go buy a motorcycle grow.ya hair long. When you're ready go find ya a new one. But remember to be careful and probably don't get married again. You'll get through this.

Least_Winter9632 · 2024-09-05T00:43:40+00:00

You gotta love yourself and not rely on another person for your happiness. You sound like a guy who has a lot going for himself. And you’re very young with lots of time to rebuild. Get to know yourself and grow from this. You have a whole lotta life ahead of you.

T-Rat93 · 2024-09-05T00:27:38+00:00

I constantly ruminate on my ex and my therapist told me when I do, i need to ask myself, “is this helpful?”

Since ruminating does absolutely nothing positive for me, I try my best to not ruminate and think about her or what could have been.

team_starfox · 2024-09-05T00:03:33+00:00

Don't think of her as your angel anymore, of she was she wouldn't be the source of your pain

Low_Distribution5188 · 2024-09-04T23:38:43+00:00

A no sex marriage is the worst..no connection..a wife has to have genuine burning desire for you...if she doesn't you're not her first choice..34 months of no intimacy for me we decided last March it was over..our marriage the contempt and hatred is real she has for me..I have been struggling finding work..my wife doesn't give me anything and she makes all the money flip it around know matter how bad things got I'm going to support you .that's part of them marriage vows

Robo_umpire · 2024-09-04T23:34:43+00:00

I’ve been there and on the other end of it now. It gets better. I didn’t think I’d ever recover but you will and will be stronger for it.

Plastic_Efficiency35 · 2024-09-04T21:52:42+00:00

No kids? Man, that’s a blessing! But am sorry you are going through this. In so many words- it’s shitty. It’s ok to feel how you feel. Part of me wanted mine to be over with …..part of me no- because of daughter. You are ok but not ok. But , it will be ok. Slowly, but surely.

981AG · 2024-09-04T21:49:30+00:00

Every word written here has some skin and heart attached to it… I have nothing to offer that will ease your pain…..except. Savor every second of this moment in your life ….die a thousand deaths drowning in your own personal hell…and wake up and do it again…..this to shall pass and one day it won t be the same as the day before. No one on the internet has a solution to anything you are experiencing…you will experience your own pain and solution and some day you will see your self in the words of another.

captainchippsixx · 2024-09-04T21:27:52+00:00

Trying to understand. Why does she hate you? What brought the marriage to an end?

probebeta · 2024-09-04T21:07:25+00:00

You're only 27, and I hope you don't have kids? If not, you dodged a bullet. Today is the day you start adapting to reality. The first mistake is that you made her the ONLY person you care about. You don't do that with anyone other than your kids. You need some red pill content. Quoteing rich cooper... There is no ONE, there are bad ones and better ones.

AmbitiousHornet · 2024-09-04T20:41:12+00:00

You will hear people say that it does get better over time, and it will, if you let it happen.

Ancient-Homework7557 · 2024-09-04T20:34:25+00:00

Don’t hide from the feelings. They suck. They hurt. It hurts. You will recover. Most of us feel this way at one time or another. Sometimes it comes in waves. Do the best you can to take care of yourself. 27. You’ve got a lot of runway ahead. You’ll fly again. Give yourself grace I. The meantime.

dukeofthefoothills1 · 2024-09-04T20:29:06+00:00

Was with mine for 35 years. Divorced in November. Never think about her unless there’s something to be dealt with. You can be glad she exhibited her hypergamy early. You’ll get there…

shalalala77 · 2024-09-04T20:22:20+00:00

You’re allowed to feel that way man. I did for so long and I can say I really just opened myself back up after her being gone for two months.

Just focus on you at this point. I also think about all her great traits. You know what I also think about all the bad things she put me through. She truly took away my happiness at the same time. Your person wouldn’t want to leave, she would want to work on it. I now know she will never be my person and that’s okay. You should feel the same in due time. Go live life! It can be freeing!

Movieman_Steve · 2024-09-04T20:21:46+00:00

No one wants to be single again after being married, no matter how many years you were married. I know I didn't want to be single, that's why when I was 27 I started looking and got married 6 yrs later. Now after 20 almost 21 yrs in Oct I'm going to be single if the divorce gets finalized. I know I cried for a week after she left our house 4 months ago, but just keep exercising if you can or when you can. Go see a therapist, just work on your self first. I'm in the process of moving into an apartment and decided to keep things that I have, not any of the stuff that "we" had while still married. We all just have to take it one day at a time.

Beamformer · 2024-09-04T19:02:51+00:00

At your age, I would have felt about the same, but it ended up becoming a hell I was trapped in. Now I love a different woman and I'm closer and more intimate with her than I ever could be with my ex.

There's a saying I've heard, that women would rather men be dead than weak. I think there is some truth to that, in its not good if they think they have the power to destroy or lead you emotionally or otherwise. Men want to provide it all, but we end up giving away some of the things that attracted these women to us in the first place.

Cowboy8040 · 2024-09-04T18:59:32+00:00

I’m right there with you brother. I’m 29 and was only married 10 months. Lost a baby and two months later she filed for divorce. We’ve been separated one month tomorrow. I’m also a decent looking guy and in good shape so that helps, I guess? Doesn’t feel like it matters right now. I’m seeing a counselor and also attending a divorce recovery group tonight to see if that helps any. I’m trying to lean on my faith as much as possible. Also simply praying and expressing gratitude that I’m still alive.

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-09-04T18:57:29+00:00

Write a list of every bad trait of hers: physical and mental.

Write a list of all the bad sh!t she did to you. All of the dumb things she said.

Put it on your phone.

Whenever you start to over romanticize your past with her, whip out that list and read it

crankyrhino · 2024-09-04T18:28:41+00:00

It's pretty raw, so I get you feel this way right now.

See a therapist. Talk this through.

Look at it all objectively.

Not knowing the situation or her side of the story, would your own personal angel leave you?

If you met someone else and they were attractive and present for you and showed up to the relationship in the way you needed them to, would that not be better than what your ex gave you?

As you say, you're only 27. There is still a lot of road in front of you.

You already point out how much different is today than it was a year ago. One year from now, when you look back, I promise it will also be different.

Keep your head up.

This_Train340i · 2024-09-04T18:24:21+00:00

Never outsource your happiness again brother! Your happiness should NEVER be conditional on another person or thing because it can be taken away in a nanosecond and leave you in hopeless despair as you are experiencing now knowing that it is Chad's turn.

DaveTheDrummer802 · 2024-09-04T18:05:36+00:00

I'm pretty sure I used to love my wife this much. Now, not so much. Complete opposite. Currently, I try to minimize all time with her until the kids are grown. Counting down.

TheWormTurns22 · 2024-09-04T18:01:15+00:00

um.... hate to be the contrarian here, but if she were so perfect, why did she divorce you? is it possible you were in love with an image of her, or some kind of dream woman you super-imposed over who she really is? Maybe it's worth it to make a list of her faults and issues you've been ignoring all this time. Not to blame yourself on, but to realize maybe you've been having a superficial relationship and she's not so terribly wonderful after all.

Title	It’s done
Author	raginggear57
Upvotes	54
Comments	39
Date	September 4, 2024 5:49 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f8zrga/its_done/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/its-done.1529396 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529396

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