Would you remarry her again?

RabbitGlass5578 · 2026-05-21T19:07:04+00:00

Fuck no!

Big_Action2476 · 2026-05-21T07:52:10+00:00

No, I would not do it again.

Reasons:

- expectations have always been a moving goal post
- I sacrificed other family because I thought I loved her, which I regret
- related to point one, but I can’t make her happy and I am not happy either

Overall we aren’t a good match and I was naive in thinking I could fix it.

Recent_Impress_3618 · 2026-05-17T18:18:30+00:00

I could never, ever go back. The woman despises me.

TheBigRedBeardo · 2026-05-17T05:31:17+00:00

No my depression was the root cause. The depression came because I changed myself to become the person she’d marry. I lived for 25 years as a shell of my authentic self. I went through hell to be someone I wasn’t. Almost 50 now and I’m just getting to know the real me. He’s pretty cool.

Bobby_Digitul · 2026-05-17T01:26:23+00:00

Yes, because I won't be in control of the outcome. My kids would be better off

smc0881 · 2026-05-17T00:48:21+00:00

No, the person she pretended or presented to me was not the person I ended up marrying. It's my fault too though, since I saw some red flags, but figured they could easily be explained away. I remember two weeks before my wedding, one of my close friends and I went for drinks. He asked me "You sure you really want to do this man?" My response to him was "I don't know, lol". There was a lot of stuff too that happened and I would have felt bad backing out since her mom got cancer unexpectedly and died six months after our wedding. Now, knowing all the lies and how my mental health suffered from things she actively chose to do, I definitely would go back in time and call that shit off.

RealDamage007 · 2026-05-16T19:12:56+00:00

No. Without reading.

However reading your post, she would be stupid to remarry you. So No again. Move on. It likely wasn’t meant to be.

IcanPelican · 2026-05-16T18:56:23+00:00

Hell no

901_vols · 2026-05-16T18:38:13+00:00

Yes, if only to have my son and get my shit straight again

Zerofucks__ZeroChill · 2026-05-16T16:54:47+00:00

I loved the woman I married but I despise the stranger I divorced. If it wasn’t for kids I’d be extremely happy to have never met that train wreck.

Jdatscool · 2026-05-16T14:40:50+00:00

Considering I got a call 3 hours ago to pick my kids up because she was getting arrested, no, but I'd keep the kids if I could.

Apprehensive_Rip_201 · 2026-05-16T12:48:19+00:00

I actually don't regret it overall. My ex-wife stuck around during the years our daughter was young and needed a mom, and only left once she was 8 or 9- now I have a great, well-adjusted teenager who is like my best friend. If I had the option to push a button and get a do-over beginning in 2005, I probably would not press it, out of fear for a worse outcome. You could go back and marry a nice woman, who doesn't screw you over, and still end up with asshole kids, or health problems, or any number of horrible things. Life is a lottery like that. I'm not a gambler, I think I would stick with what I got.

Dakeddit · 2026-05-16T03:28:13+00:00

Yes.

LimitAdvanced191 · 2026-05-16T00:56:52+00:00

Knowing what she would become. No

That1TimeN99 · 2026-05-15T21:31:25+00:00

ZERO.ZERO chance

antouzzz · 2026-05-15T21:09:08+00:00

If it was a chance to see my daughters more yes i would 100%

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-05-15T18:20:29+00:00

Absolutely not. No fucking way. I just got my divorce decree and came out fairly clean.

I don't think I even want to live with another woman. I love my peace now.

whoopyboy69 · 2026-05-15T18:19:34+00:00

Hell nah. Once another dude touches here it’s over with

Empress1978 · 2026-05-15T18:14:35+00:00

Absolutely not, nor will I live permanently with any potential partner again. If you really love me, we don’t need to live together nor be married for you to show that, and I think it means so much more. I see a lot of folks who are divorced and do this, and have partners for many years happily with this arrangement.

jimsmythee · 2026-05-15T17:21:28+00:00

I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat that I’m remarried, or still married to my exwife.

Calm_Tomato · 2026-05-15T16:12:20+00:00

Nope

gratefulstudent76 · 2026-05-15T16:09:12+00:00

Yeah.

Impressive-Hour-1523 · 2026-05-15T15:57:55+00:00

If I could still have my daughter without remarrying my wife in this mythical scenario then I would absolutely not remarry her but I would do it all over again if it meant keeping my daughter in my life. We had some really good times but I often wonder how my life would have been different with a different person.

Minimum_Step5048 · 2026-05-15T15:08:05+00:00

I would bc I love my 2 kids more than anything. I’m not sure there was anything I could have done better but I would have tried harder with hindsight now.

I don’t think it would’ve mattered either way though. She wanted me to be someone I’m not and I’m not sure anyone could have met her expectations. She fundamentally didn’t understand how marriage is supposed to work

BathAutomatic6972 · 2026-05-15T14:55:00+00:00

No, but that has nothing to do with her. I’m the person who should’ve held by my boundaries and my beliefs that marriage is not a solution to anything. The state does not need to be involved with my relationships (or anybody else’s but that’s their decision).

ForgiveMyFlatulence · 2026-05-15T14:48:37+00:00

If I could go back in my life and remake any choice, it would fundamentally change my journey in life.

I am not the reason my marriage failed and if I am, I can solemnly say I tried my best when I was able to.

I regret a lot of things. I should have stood up to her more. I should have followed my conscience more. I should have not let her run me down so much.

But go back and change getting married or having our 2 children? No. I have had to learn and grow through my many failures and it has been very very hard. However, that is the nature of life. We fall and we get back up.

curtdogg47 · 2026-05-15T13:14:09+00:00

This is a very interesting question! I definitely didn’t to my best while married. I did grow and learn in the process of trying to save my marriage. My ex is the same person she was then as she is today. I was blinded to seeing her for who she is. I would say absolutely no chance in hell I would remarry her. However my 3 amazing boys, I wouldn’t ever want a life without them. So knowing the kids I would have with her, going back I probably would.

At the same time, who I am today, the man I have become I don’t know if my ex would even have an interest in me! I am not her type anymore! To wise to her bull shit, stronger mentally and emotionally. The me today she would have a hard time lying to, and controlling!

InvertedPickleTaco · 2026-05-15T07:58:53+00:00

Yes and no. Yes because of our children and the good memories. No because I think she was in love with the idea of what I was instead of who I am, and I wouldn't want to hurt either of us again in that situation.

DarthDad25 · 2026-05-15T07:48:17+00:00

No point to these silly hypothetical games. Stay grounded in truth and reality. Life will continue moving forward and never backwards. You should do the same

asifmahmud25 · 2026-05-15T06:30:42+00:00

I wish I could go back and block her immediately everywhere from my life. The only villain in my life is her.

MiloGoesToPorridge · 2026-05-15T05:58:06+00:00

I wouldnt even bang her! And that's saying something because she was easy.

Turns out that was the problem later on.

Nevermind, she can bang who she likes now, and whatever poor sod is on the other end, has my sympathy.

I also wouldnt have my daughter, so tough one.

LaCathedrale · 2026-05-15T05:43:06+00:00

I would date her because she was amazing in the first year or two, and then it all went to crap.

I guess the question is whether or I’ll still have my children - is this time travel or repeating the same mistakes?

Title	Would you remarry her again?
Author	Altruistic-Whole-905
Upvotes	3
Comments	52
Date	May 15, 2026 5:40 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1tdn12z/would_you_remarry_her_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/would-you-remarry-her-again.1580450 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580450

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