I don't understand hypergamy

xXMachineWomanXx · 2022-09-02T05:26:41+00:00

Because when I get in a relationship, it’s because I specifically value that person. I have a career, so I’m looking for companionship, not money. I wish men would understand they have value beyond providing for me.

moustachelechon · 2022-09-02T06:26:45+00:00

I wouldn’t leave my partner because I love him, the way his mind works makes me happy, the things that are unique to him are what make me attracted to him. Also I dont care about random strangers, they haven’t done what my partner has done for me, they don’t think in the same amazing way. Because I’m demisexual (I’m not sexually attracted to people I’m not already close to), not knowing the new guy intimately would actually stop me from seeing him as more attractive than my partner. Also I don’t care if men are taller, I generally like being bigger than my partner lol.

SweelFor- · 2022-09-02T09:31:25+00:00

If you met another woman who was more attractive and rich why wouldn't you leave for her?

xvszero · 2022-09-02T12:54:14+00:00

Here, let's reverse this. If you were with a woman and you met another woman who had bigger boobs, would you leave the first one?

tomowudi · 2022-09-02T13:40:53+00:00

So if your mother comes across a taller, handsomer, more athletic child, does she stop loving you and long to raise that child instead?

Love is unconditional, positive regard. It isn't rational.

What is your favorite type of music? What is objectively BETTER about that type of music?

2020mademejoinreddit · 2022-09-02T11:21:22+00:00

Short answer? No.

Hypergamy has been twisted so that the modern cons can exploit it for their own gains.

This is an outdated and not so applicable concept in modern humans.

This was only applicable (and I use that loosely) on early humans when other factors didn't exist and only the the factor of who had the highest resource and safety would be mating.

This does not apply to modern humans because the environment has been completely changed.

No, women don't leave guys randomly for some other guy.

No, they don't cheat randomly either. Neither do men.

Often times, there is a build up when these things do happen.

Or the individual in question has a questionable character to begin with.

And often there's more to it than just "taller, richer and more attractive". Those things might be a contributing factor, but you can say the same about men who leave their GF's or Wives for similar reasons, no?

The reason most people don't leave is because of the risks involved. Many are rational enough to understand that what they've built is not worth losing for some random hook up.

There are irrational individuals who do do it, but they shouldn't be used as an example of a "common occurrence".

If she does leave, it'll be more than just one reason. Or like I said, she was a questionable individual to begin with and not a very good person and should not be used as a measure for all women.

spiraldinosaur · 2022-09-02T08:39:02+00:00

Because not all women want a taller, "more attractive" rich man. To some women, you are far more attractive than whoever this man might be. That's the important thing to learn here.

Q-9 · 2022-09-02T14:27:08+00:00

I see only my BF as attractive, so it doesn't matter how other men look like. I make my own money so what another man earns isn't relevant.

Only way me to start looking other men is my BF to become abusive in some way. Being willfully abusive means they wouldn't care about my wellbeing anymore so I would end it there.

Then it would be quite the task to find a man whose personality I would fall in love with. Once such man would be found, he'd be the most and only attractive man in my world again.

Smithersink · 2022-09-02T15:24:24+00:00

Because not all women are as shallow as TRP would have you believe. Most women (most people, I would hope) get into a relationship with someone they value and build a strong emotional bond with them. That bond would have to mean very little if she would just leave you for some other guy like that.

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen to some people, or that it’s not something to worry about. But instead of assuming any girl will cheat on you with any guy who’s more conventionally attractive than you, find a woman who won’t, and then keep working on yourself while you’re in a relationship to ensure she stays interested. This works both ways; if she completely quits working on herself, you wouldn’t want to stay with her. Relationships are about maintaining that each of you is the most attractive person FOR THE OTHER PERSON. You don’t have to be the most conventionally attractive dude on the planet to maintain her interest; just make sure you’re keeping her sexually interested while fulfilling her emotional needs, and she should do the same for you.

Environmental-Row979 · 2022-09-02T15:39:56+00:00

Because I am a monogamous person, when I am in a satisfying, happy, healthy relationship I would be unavailable to even the best looking, wealthiest person. It's really that simple. I have a partner, so if someone makes a move on me it's always a "no" because I am not available. Does that mean I don't find other people attractive? No. But there is a massive chasm between finding someone attractive and leaving your partner for them (hence the classic line, "I'm married, not dead").

If a partner leaves you for someone else, they were not as committed to the relationship as you were because they did not find the relationship fulfilling -- regardless of gender. Ideally, they would tell you that they were unhappy with the relationship well before someone else came along ... but people get lazy and complacent and will stay years in a relationship that doesn't work out of fear.

Rather than spending your energy on being the biggest, best-looking, richest man so that no one else can ever seduce your partner away from you, focus on being the kind of partner who is loving and attentive. Fulfilling relationships take years to build and take continuous effort -- but they are worth it.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-09-02T05:56:17+00:00

If she isn't out of your league, then this more attractive man is out of her league. Women are cautious about the intentions of men out of their league.
1. He might use her as a hookup.
2. He might not be committed in the relationship.
3. He might cheat or break up with her.
She has feelings of love and investment in you so this stranger has a lot of catching up to do.
If you two have a shared social and family circle there may be social consequences for dumping you or cheating on you with the hot guy.
If you two have kids or shared finances dumping or cheating on you could come with financial consequences.
She may view dumping or cheating on you as morally objectionable unless you have done something to deserve it.

SoIlikeMangos · 2022-09-02T07:03:02+00:00

Women don't have the luxury of starting over. Let's say you're a 45 year old woman, newly divorced. You probably can't start a new family with a new hotter guy. But a 45 year old man can remarry & have children. So I don't get it when they say she will leave you for a higher value man. All the divorces I've seen happened because of domestic violence & adultery.

Naus1987 · 2022-09-02T10:13:58+00:00

The ironic part is red pill men set themselves up for this kind of failure, lol.

Hypergamy does exist, and you see it a lot in movies and such. Spiderman 2 is a great example. Mary Jane is with some other guy, she's even engaged to him. But she leaves on her wedding day to be with Spiderman. Liar Liar is another example of a movie where a woman leaves her guy to be with the main character.

Hypergamy happens, but it's important why it happens. Society generally says you should always leave a poor match for a better one. The secret being "what makes a good person."

In red pill, a lot of men think being tall, attractive, and rich are what makes them a good person. So they go after women who value those things. A woman who values those things (may) jump ship to another guy who has better versions of those things.

The key is to NOT build a relationship off of attraction and money, but to make a soul connection. Build a relationship from the soul, and you can't be replaced. But if you after a woman who's just in it for the money or the looks, then yeah, anyone can be replaced.

Sadly, red pill teaches men to rely heavily on their looks and money to win people over, so obviously men who rely on those traits are going to have a higher failure rate then men who rely on soul and a legitimate human connection.

It's important to remember that the type of woman matters too. Don't go chasing a materialistic woman just because she's pretty. Guys need to have better standards when it comes to women. Don't go after the shallow ones who are likely to jump ship, because they're chasing shallow things. Find a woman who values a person for who they are. They exist.

Good women and good men do exist. But y'all keep screwing each other over by throwing away good qualities because they're not pretty enough.

honey-bundy-88 · 2022-09-02T16:10:47+00:00

If you’re out at a restaurant with a friend, what is stopping you from throwing your food away and eating exclusively off of their plate? Respect, decency, and the fact that you’re already committed to your own food. People are a lot like plates. We may look from time to time, but that doesn’t mean we no longer want what we have.

Rook_Cross · 2022-09-02T19:28:08+00:00

Some would, some wouldn't and this goes for men and women. Most love the person they are with and have built a life together, have kids. They don't care what the other man (or woman) has, they actually love their spouse. Social mores and personal values also keep people in line. Most do not even get the opportunity 9nor take it if they could). This is like some boogeyman tale. Many know the grass isn't greener. but I'll reiterate, most love their other half. I think people who worry about this are catastrophizing, looking for excuses not to date, or, would trade up if they had the chance and projecting they're guilty desires onto everyone else. Most men and women are married to people of similar socioeconomic status and general background (and number of sex partners). They're not all cutting lose when some other suitor shows up.

lacrymology · 2022-09-02T20:01:32+00:00

Why would she? Are you worth your height and money?

yumirow · 2022-09-02T05:37:52+00:00

Hypergamy is the need to be proud of your man, not much more. It's just that she might respect more a stranger, that's why it's often conflicted with having the best value in a mate, but it's not exactly true, since there are more parameters.

saito200 · 2022-09-02T10:19:42+00:00

Going with another man is a risk. This man might be an asshole, this man might trash her, she might lose his current man forever... Etc.

moustachelechon · 2022-09-02T05:59:18+00:00

If the hot guy shows commitment and pure intentions. Then she probably would leave.

However, chances are low that the hot guy will actually not just use her. So she’s weary.

alexbrove · 2022-09-02T08:44:25+00:00

Here's everything you need to know about the very foolish concept of hypergamy...

Red Pill wants you to believe that while a woman is dating you and while you are busy working hard to make more money and building more muscle... Women too are constantly scanning every room, every job, every situation... for the richest guy, the tallest guy and the guy which the most muscles.

And when they see him, they give him a knowing look that says 'I like you, you are more alpha than my boyfriend' and the man looks at the woman and says 'I like you, you're a 9 and you're a virgin. You're not a modern woman, you haven't slept around, you are a traditional woman, you deserve an alpha. I will protect and provide for you' and they automatically run off with eachother into the sunset and she forever forgets your name.

And then of course, she starts to date this new man but because she's so hypergamous, she ends up doing this all over again. She meets another man that is even richer than the previous guy and they end up having the same conversation and of course, because she's a woman, she leaves her new man for another man simply because he's richer, taller and has more muscles. He will be better at protecting and providing for her.

According to the red pill, this is how all women choose men. It is female nature. Women are so emotional and illogical (what they really mean to say is stupid), that they do this over and over again until they suddenly hit the wall.

Uh oh...

When this happens, no one wants to marry her and therefore she has no choice but to downgrade and settle for a beta male who is ready to commit to her for life.

While she is with this beta male, she remembers all of the alpha males that she slept with and how good it felt when they protected and provided for her.

Unfortunately, beta male is not tall enough, rich enough or muscly enough. So now she has to use her brains, get a job and maybe learn kung-fu because she's no longer with a protector and a provider. She's with a beta male who is a simp and actually loves her.

And this is why she's unhappy in her marriage. Her husband is a beta male. This is terrible. She desperately wanted an alpha male.

And according to red pill, hypergamy is the reason why most divorces are initiated by women. They don't leave because they are unhappy in the marriage. They leave because they are looking to meet a richer, taller man with more muscles, outside of their marriage.

So the moral of the story is that women can't think straight. They will keep climbing that hypergamy ladder for the rest of their lives.

And as man that clearly wants to be an alpha male, you have to realise that there is no such thing as real love, there is no such thing as a decent woman and there is no such thing as healthy relationships. Your only solution in life is to keep spinning plates so that you don't have to commit to any woman. God created man so that he could populate the earth and spread his seed so you must do God's work and make sure you keep spreading your seed.

And guess what? As you spread your seed and sleep with multiple women, you will find true happiness and so will your harem of women.

Emotionally and mentally healthy woman absolutely love bad boys. They love to be with men that spin plates and cheat on them, it keeps them on their toes, it keeps them happy, it makes them love you and it makes them want to stay with you!!

I wish you all the best on this hypergamy quest.

Ps: If you read all of the above and believed it to be true, then you need to start detoxing from the red pill. Red pill is stupid.

TheChadofChad · 2022-09-02T14:34:34+00:00

Hypergamy is a woman's (or man's) desire to increase their ranking in a class system.

As a first point, hypergamy is only a matter of perspective.

Secondly, class systems and hierarchies exist. When you scroll through Instagram admiring super cars and hot chicks, the hierarchy of wealth and physical attraction will determine your values.

Third, your values attract the opportunities you desire. Your opportunities will be a reflection of your values!

It's important to know we are at a unique time in human existence where these hierarchical systems are shifting massively.

shadow-enigma21 · 2022-09-02T15:05:13+00:00

Please check out the pinned post Red Pill Detox First Aid Kit. Also mod u/RedPillDetox has posted explanation (including scientific studies and citations) on hypergamy for a few times.

ChargeVisible · 2022-09-05T17:03:21+00:00

Because that's not how human emotions work.

Title	I don't understand hypergamy
Author	the-aids-bregade
Upvotes	13
Comments	241
Date	September 2, 2022 5:10 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/x3syno/i_dont_understand_hypergamy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-dont-understand-hypergamy.1130403 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130403

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