There has always been a lot of talk on FDS about different ways to deal with negging, but here's a really simple one I've found recently when dealing with consistently derogatory scrotes/others who mask negging as "jokes" or "advice." 🤢 We all know the type, right?

Turn the exact topic around back on them. It works because something about the topic they've brought up in relation to you already has the person feeling insecure. Remember, NVM's and NVW's best friend really is good ol' PROJECTION. Whatever they picked to neg you about, you can truly assume is a strength of yours that makes the scrote (or pickme) feel threatened. Because of this, I see negs as a complement now whereas they used to knock me down a peg and make me feel insecure. When someone throws a neg or unwarranted advice my way, I realize right away that I have the upperhand, which gives me some confidence in dealing with it. Be very neutral in your tone, not angry. Be unbothered and practice a neutral face. Be straightforward and clear. This eliminates anyone saying you are "crazy" or "mad." If they see you bothered or mad, they won.

Examples of ways I have used this recently with a multitude of different types of relationships which I can't exactly escape (familial, professional, scrotes, pickmes, etc.):

Scrote: Your hair is looking a lot darker today. Me: It's much better than looking like my hair is thinning, don't you think?

Pick any physical attribute in the same category to use here. It won't matter what it is, really, and it won't even matter if said attribute looks perfect on the person. Remember, it's an inner problem they are having with whatever they brought up. This particular scrote is bald as hell, so it's easy to see why he might be knocking my hair. 🤣

Pickme: Why are you always SO happy? Me: Hmm. Weird you would think happiness is a bad thing. Why? Are you not happy?

Co-worker scrote: You must have been so wild back in the day. I can't even imagine! Me: Yeah living is wild in general. Was it boring to not experience things?

This one was a stretch, but so is what the scrote said in his attempt to paint me in a certain light around colleagues which needed to be shot down. If you'll notice, it doesn't really matter what you say as long as you stay on topic and flip the question/comment around back on the person. After this, the scrote was explaining "wild" times of his, etc. and coworkers looked at him like he was just a clown. By the end of it, they forgot what he said about me, it didn't turn into office gossip, and he became known as a braggy bro instead. LOL.

Family member: You really should just forgive person who did unspeakable things to you. Me: That's weird because you still haven't forgiven ___, for doing ____ to you? Why is that?

If you'll notice, I generally end my response to a neg or unwarranted "advice" with a question. This turns the whole situation around and leaves them clamoring for reasoning, excuses, mumbling (instead of it being you who is in a tough spot, it's now them) and in turn they get the picture of what your stance is which should always be, "I'm not tolerating this, so don't try it on me again."

What I've seen since I've really implemented this in just the past month or so, is they forget what they even said to you and they find themselves tripping all over their own set up to defend themselves, which is originally what they wanted you to be doing. Remember this point. They WANTED to put you in the tough spot of having to defend yourself and looking/feeling humiliated. Remembering this can help with the guilt of feeling like you are "mean" etc. They had no problem putting you in that position. So, I beg the question... nice for what?!

Sometimes you have to go for the jugular if they are going for yours, sometimes it can be a little bit more subtle. For extra flair, laugh at the end of your response if they were trying to disguise their neg as a joke.

I've also seen situations where this is not the best advice sometimes, but I'd say 99% of the time this is going to work in your favor. Don't do this too strongly or make it obvious if it is a dangerous, uppity male/pickme whom you have to be around or they will seek revenge in some format.

Walking away can be beneficial at times, but if it happens in a group of people don't let yourself be humiliated. Everyone around you is taking note at your reaction and it will give others ideas on thinking they can treat you the same. I think it's really important to make your stance clear as day that the game won't work on you, and unless they want to be the ones defending themselves in the end, they won't try it on you. Remaining neutral in tone reduces others seeing you as combative, crazy, whatever, which is especially important in a work setting.

And one last helpful end all example that I've used time and time again with scrotes or anyone else who thinks their input was wanted or needed that might be useful to you:

"It's a good thing your opinion is of absolutely no value to me." Cue the neutral shrug.🤷🏼‍♀️

This one always makes it pretty clear, and the looks on their faces at the end of it tell me they've received the message. Think about it... what can anyone say in response to that?

You don't have to carry the burden of people's insecurities. I think women are societally trained to do so. I was always told to play "nice," be "nice," as a woman. Weird because very few play nice with us? They don't come around and see your side? They don't apologize or feel bad? Negs and unwarranted, underhanded advice are very intentional, are meant to put you up against a wall, and are meant to make you work to defend and prove yourself.

Its not your issue to hold, so try handing the problem right back to them where it actually belongs. They can stick it back in their nest of LV shit behavior and let it incubate.

Calmly confront it, then brush it off and keep moving.