Accept responsibility when your partner cheats? How about hell no!

dembar126 · 2021-03-25T19:46:47+00:00

Tell me something was written by a man without telling me it was written by a man.

lucidlotus · 2021-03-25T19:50:17+00:00

Consensus on the infidelity subs is it's very rare for a relationship to recover and that the cheater has to do real work in individual therapy before even considering couples counseling. They have a name for the infidelity recovery coaches, therapists, books, etc.: the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. The betrayed partner who stays is "pickme dancing."

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-03-25T20:00:17+00:00

Yeah this is why my relationship WILL NEVER recover from an affair. I'm not taking responsibility for my partner's weakness. I'm not compromising my boundary just to be back in a relationship with someone who can't keep their d in their pants. Hell freaking no.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-03-25T21:21:54+00:00

Don't men often say that when they are cheating, it's just for sex? So what exactly is this responsibility woman has to accept? That she isn't turning into another person everyday, in order to keep things "interesting"? Her fault is being her 'same ol' "boring" self'? Pinch me.

Imaginary-Driver-767 · 2021-03-25T20:12:02+00:00

Let me guess, written by a man?

dkwantsdk · 2021-03-25T20:18:33+00:00

Pray tell how are we responsible for other people's actions?

GodILoveTheEnglish · 2021-03-25T19:26:41+00:00

Responsibility for what??? Him being a two-timing NVM? Or is it just gonna be a case of him crying because you made HIM feel bad for cheating?

spinsterchachkies · 2021-03-25T19:31:40+00:00

Male relationship therapist 🤮 Gtfo

lskfjd743 · 2021-03-25T20:20:11+00:00

There's a reason why the website "Chump Lady" (which I highly recommend for any women who is recovering from her partner's infidelity) called this shit the Reconciliation Industrial Complex (RIC).

catlady4u · 2021-03-25T21:10:15+00:00

Victim blaming at the highest levels.

SkiesEclipse · 2021-03-25T21:54:05+00:00

Why is a woman responsible for a man cheating? Let’s say, for arguments sake, that the man is doing everything in his power to make the relationship great, and the woman wants nothing to do with the man, and it’s the woman who is the source of all the problems. STILL not her fault if he cheats, because it’s his responsibility to breakup and leave. But of course, its never this situation is it?

Khentiamentiu42 · 2021-03-25T21:33:13+00:00

Imagine being that gaslit by a therapist, if you have to go to couples counselling, your relationship is already over n someone with questionable ethics is just trying to make money out if it

UnderwaterWriter · 2021-03-25T22:30:28+00:00

This nonsense is deplorable. The only thing the partner has to come to accept, is that the cheater chose to cheat on them. It was intentional. They did it because they could, because they wanted to. And that is so much harder to accept, than to pontificate on end about how both people supposedly are to blame for one person’s blatant choice to disrespect, lie, and betray another.

PhoridayThe13th · 2021-03-25T21:35:01+00:00

I will accept that it is my responsibility to file for a divorce ASAP. For my sanity. For my financial well being. For the sake of any children involved. And, frankly, to get the hell away from such garbage as fast as possible!

throwaway32132134 · 2021-03-26T03:10:28+00:00

Some lovely parts of the article that really resonated with me. 🙃

Can you prevent your partner from having an affair?Yes absolutely, but it would be wrong to get paranoid about it.

So incredibly toxic.

What do I do if my partner has cheated on me? First of all, ask yourself a question. What do you want to have happen? And the immediate reaction is people feel hurt and betrayed and angry their whole world is suddenly shifted. It's easy to want to lash out and hurt the other person. But is that actually going to help them? They need to get their feelings out in a way which doesn't hurt the future.

LMAAAO WTF.

The partner needs to try and accept that it's a situation they co-created. It wasn't all the affair partners fault. If they hold on to the belief it's 100 per cent their partner's fault they had an affair, that's going to be very hard to recover from.

It is 100% their fault. If they aren't happy they should have enough respect to end the relationship.

_differentmentality_ · 2021-03-25T19:29:50+00:00

No, I don’t I will. Only one thing to do with a cheating scum: 🚮

millennialpink2000 · 2021-03-25T19:43:48+00:00

Propaganda 101

nymphaetamine · 2021-03-26T02:11:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Novemberinthechair · 2021-03-25T22:00:22+00:00

No. Nope. Just leave him.

giftofnocondemnation · 2021-03-26T02:42:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Hitflyover · 2021-03-25T21:09:08+00:00

I cheated on a partner once- not sex, but I was disrespectful. I enrolled in therapy on my own immediately after realizing the territory I was playing in, and I eventually ended the relationship on my own after a time. I take full ownership, anything less seems dishonest or weak. There's something so visceral and shameful about cheating- it's heavy, at least it was for me. I can't imagine placing blame anywhere else could lessen the very real actions and emotion involved when cheating. Just think about when you're single and you like someone: starting a relationship/situationship takes effort. Even just making friends or talking to strangers as an adult takes effort. To go out and create an intimate relationship with an outsider when that effort is likely needed in one's own relationship is selfish.

yolosunshine · 2021-03-25T22:14:26+00:00

Ewwwwwwwww

💩 💩 💩

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-03-26T03:51:42+00:00

Please. How about zero onus being put on a victim of physical and emotional abuse for however she reacts to the abuse (short of felony violence unless in self defense)? How about keeping the onus, focus and scrutiny 100% on what abusers and abuse enablers do?

islandmaiden · 2021-03-26T00:44:30+00:00

No taking responsibility for being cheated on, no gaslighting yourself for another person's mistake. If they cheat on you, they don't love you nor respect you. If they did, they would never think of cheating. If you keep this in mind, and you love and respect yourself, you would never tolerate cheating. When they cheat, you walk. No relationship is worth it over you losing your self-love and worse, self-respect.

CrazyPaine · 2021-03-26T14:59:41+00:00

Accept responsibility?

For what? For what? For fucking what??

mostlymadison · 2021-03-25T20:49:19+00:00

Advice on how to save a relationship after being cheated on? Thats a hard pass from me no matter what the article says. No woman should need that advice and its messed up to suggest we should.

anxious-american · 2021-03-26T03:19:20+00:00

Maybe they meant "tske responsibility for forgiving your partner"? That's the only reasonable explanation I can think of

Title	Accept responsibility when your partner cheats? How about hell no!
Author	NotSoSmartChick
Upvotes	506
Comments	54
Date	March 25, 2021 7:19 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/md62id/accept_responsibility_when_your_partner_cheats/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/accept-responsibility-when-your-partner-cheats-how.1187720 https://theredarchive.com/post/1187720

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