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restlessGal
[–]MixWideFDS Newbie 186 points187 points188 points 5 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link
Risk of contracting an STD from one instance of intercourse:
Meanwhile we've got that recent finding that women have a 7% chance of orgasm from a first-time hookup with a guy.
[–]engineergorlFDS Newbie 80 points81 points82 points 5 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
Yep, every dude you sleep with needs to show you a recent STD test, and ONCE is not enough if you keep sleeping together. Nah, even if he’s only with you, he should still get regular STD tests. Some STDs lie dormant, and you don’t want to get a nasty surprise!
[–]killerjewelsFDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
And the FULL STD check from them because they only test for HIV, syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea. Not for HPV or Herpes and other things you can catch. So when people confidently tell you they haven’t got anything, it’s highly unlikely that that is the case
[–]wineandtreesFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Unfortunately, from what I’m aware, herpes is basically impossible to test for without an open sore. A blood test may tell you a person has herpes but not where on their body it is. I grew up being told hsv1 was oral and hsv2 is genital. I think it still trends this way but you can have either one anywhere.
[–]killerjewelsFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
So true but I’d rather be told because it can be transferred from mouth to the genitals
[–]wineandtreesFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ah I see what you mean. Ya, for that reason I tell partners I have oral herpes. At least so far not a single one has cared(though now that I think about that it’s even more reason for women to be cautious. They don’t care)
[–]killerjewelsFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The only reason I am saying this is to help other women take charge of their health. My first ever boyfriend gave me herpes and the oral strand down south. We both were clear on our tests but they didn’t test for everything. And same here, no partner of mine has cared, but that is a reason to be careful.
[–]aquietswordFDS Newbie 83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
This is controversial in all the other young liberal circles, but we need to not sleep with slutty and irresponsible men. They can't get tested for HPV still, as far as I know, and if they sleep around they probably have it. It's not fool proof, but it's one way to screen.
The STD that can give us cancer is the one they don't get tested for since their dicks are unaffected. It's not a coincidence that scrotes on reddit have been trying to push the idea that body count doesn't matter and it's iMmAtUrE to even ask. It's stupid to ask women because it doesn't mean anything when we can just get tested and know for sure that we're in the clear for everything. It's not stupid to ask men because it can make a difference for us. ANYTHING men are advocates for we need to question because it probably harms women.
[–]engineergorlFDS Newbie 42 points43 points44 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes, we should ditch fuckbois. Unfortunately, men are liars and cheaters so sometimes it’s hard to tell initially but nOT aLL mEn rIGhT lurkers!? One way around the HPV problem is to insist he’s vaccinated for HPV and check his vaccination record. It won’t be 100% foolproof if he already has one strain of HPV, but it will prevent him from getting more strains.
[–]aquietswordFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's a good point! When it first came out insurance wouldn't cover it for men for some asinine reason. I forgot they changed that.
[–]thiswomanthatiknowFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
it will prevent him from getting more strains.
You can still get HPV if you are vaccinated because none of the HPV vaccines are effective against every strain, only the most common.
I got the vaccine in the US when it was first approved, and it covered the four most common strains. Now (15 long years later) if you get vaccinated in the US, you'll get a vaccine that protects against nine strains of HPV, but you'll still be unprotected against 10% of the HPV strains that cause cancer (I don't know the % of HPV strains that cause genital warts with regard to vaccination efficacy).
Anyway, I agree wholeheartedly that we shouldn't sleep with anyone who hasn't been vaccinated for HPV because of how wildly successful and effective the vaccine is, but I thought it important to point out that it's not wholly effective against new transmission, and I just want everyone to stay safe!
Fun fact: I got HPV before I got the vaccine, and was mildly comforted by the fact that the vaccine I received would not have prevented transmission of the strain I had anyway. It was a mild comfort because I was tracking the vaccine through development and asked my GP for it when it was first released and when I still had a clean STI record. She ridiculed me for wanting something that she firmly believed didn't exist. Two years later I had an actual gyno, actual HPV, and finally got the vaccine, and was pissed by the process it took to get there, but as I said, mildly comforted by the knowledge that, even if I had received the vaccine when I first requested it, I'd still have gotten infected. Life is hilariously unfunny, but I'm grateful to have never caught any other STIs back in my "liberated" funfem days.
[–]NonsluttymenFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
See my username and humble subreddit. 1000000000000% this.
Slutty men are way more problematic than slutty women for multiple reasons.
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hear hear.
[–]WestAtmosphereFDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
In the relationship in which I lost my virginity I remember asking my then bf casually how many partners he's had. He's had many and I obviously had 0. With that in mind I did ask him to get an STD test or ask if he's had one recently. I'm pretty sure he scoffed at the idea, and lied and said he got a test when he didn't.
Luckily we always wore a condom so I had some protection and all my tests come up clear. But uh yeah, this is why I won't have sex outside of a relationship. I took his word for it, but looking back I should have cut ties because he made getting a test seem like a big deal and potentially lied about ever getting one.
It's good to be very weary of who you sleep with even if you are in a committed relationship with the person.
[–]NonsluttymenFDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Unmarried commitment means nothing to so many shit-tier men. It’s basically them lying to you so you don’t sleep with anyone else but they cheat on you.
[–]fluffybarbwire 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Happens plenty with married commitment too...
[–]NonsluttymenFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes but at least that risks financial loss for them.
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Condoms work, too. Very effective since who knows when.
History of condoms
https://wellcomecollection.org/articles/W88vXBIAAOEyzwO_
[–]SaffroFDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The fact a one night stand is more likely to give you gonorrhoea than an orgasm 💀
[–]FlashyKardashyFDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So basically I'm more likely to get an STD than an orgasm from a one night stand.
[–]YellowsunflowerloverFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Is HSV correct because I think it's way higher.
[–]MixWideFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I got the numbers here.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor, and even if I was, nobody should be taking medical advice from a rando on the internet. Talk to your GP.
[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I want to add that syphilis is the real deal. The side effects are really bad.
[–]driverslicensebyORFDS Newbie 103 points104 points105 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
extremely unfulfilling. and dangerous!! being a pickme and believing in sex positivity went hand in hand for me. nothing about casual sex is positive or empowering for women. i sure didn’t value myself then, but i know now!
[–]Turbulent_Chart1074 60 points61 points62 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely. At the time I thought it was liberating but looking back, I let guys treat me like dirt, like a literal piece of meat, and it was disgusting. Never again.
[–]europoor24FDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
you know, an ex-friend of mine is pro-casual sex and has had countless amounts of it. Didn't make her any happier.
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Same. I no longer speak to her because of other reasons but she really drank the casual sex koolaid. She'd meet guys off tinder and just hook up with them straight away, she thought she was a "sex addict" but then get incredibly attached to each one night stand and start believing they are in some kind of relationship. Very heartbreaking to see her going through this HUNDREDS of times in the span of two years. She was miserable and developed so so many issues from having sex with these guys.
[–]europoor24FDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My ex-friend was similar, one guy she had a years long situationship with ass r*ped her, and she still went back. Making a few mistakes especially when you've got nothing to compare it to is fine (happens to all of us), but repeating the same mistakes over and over and never learning your lesson is sad. I think casual sex may harm a woman's mental health.
[–]FlashyKardashyFDS Newbie 31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think casual sex for many women is a form of self-harm. It's for women who desperately want a relationship but feel totally unworthy and unlovable so don't feel they have the right to expect one and presume they would be rejected if they asked. So they delude themselves into being sex positive as this is the only way they can gain the intimacy they so desire without the fear of rejection. However each hookup feels like a rejection because it isnt true intimacy and it isnt giving them what they really want. And they get stuck in a cycle where their self esteem gets lower each hookup.
It's like how a drug addict cant quit cos they rely on it for their happiness but the drug is long term making them miserable. Pickmes are men addicts.
That's my take anyway.
[–]MissWestSeattle 306 points307 points308 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I regret my stupid casual sex phase, it did nothing but damage my self esteem, make me hate sex and despise men. Never again
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 162 points163 points164 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Same girl. It made me a mess and I regret giving some really shitty people access to my body like that. Libfemism is truly a cancer, I remember so so so many articles on how casual sex is suuuuper good and how every woman has to otherwise how will you explore your sexhality???
Such bullshit, I explored heartbreak and feeling like shit alright but definitely not my sexuality.
I'm glad mine was very brief, some women are still doing it til this very day and wondering why they can't find meaningful relationships, I feel for them and I hope they see the light and realized that giving pu§§y to fboys is not the way to everlasting love.
[–]cakewalkofshameFDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How can they write that shit in good conscience when only 7% of the time in a casual man/woman encounter the woman actually has an orgasm lmfao.
[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Idk that percentage still seems too high.
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
now i'm super convinced that it was men writing those articles, there was also a huge thing on tumblr called ''h0e tips'' it was essentially TONS (and i do mean tons, probably thousands) of blogs dedicated to giving women tips on how to be h03s. On the surface it might look like normal self care but it basically encouraged GIRLS - because there were a lot of 15/16 year olds - to spend their days taking long hot baths, covering themselves in coconut oil (so their skin is super smooth for the lvm who probably hasn't showered since 2010) shaving their vaginas, douching with some super expensive stuff (i think it was some type of oil? doesn't sound healthy) eating a list of fruits so it makes their vagina "smell good" and doing squats to get a bigger butt and be able to r!de d!ck for a long time, tons of tips on blowj0b proof lipsticks, foundation that won't wipe off on his sheets (lmao have they seen lvm sheets? shit's dirty)
So basically you spend your 24 hours bathing, making sure your vagina is douched by oil, lathering yourself in oil, eating fruits because god forbid your vagina smells like, you know.. a vagina, and doing exercises specifically so you can give men pleasure. Uhm... what the actual fuck.
I hated them even back in my pickme-casual sex phase because they were not about the woman at ALLLL. Their sex tips were all about how to make sure the guy has the best experience of his life, they had hobby sections that thought you how to engage men on topics THEY find most interesting - it was so bizarre and terrifying, basically grooming young girls to become nothing more than a sex toy to be used by men. These blogs were SUPER popular too and frequently had their content reblogged by other more popular ''h0e tips'' blogs
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Since when is sexuality explored carelessly? If they mean sexual orientation then that’s discovered through introspection, if they mean sexual preferences then that’s through masturbation
There is literally nothing logical about “owning” your sexuality or whatever through random sex lol
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly! It's a losing game for women, the phrase itself doesn't even make sense as you pointed out, random casual sex isn't going to teach anyone anything (except that it is terrible and should be avoided at all costs)
I hate how they always frame it as "get to know yourself sexually by having sex with a bunch of random dudes!"
So stupid
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Extremely stupid when I’ve learned more about how I like to rub my clit than any person could ever teach me lol
[–]Logical-Cod-8348 28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same here. It sucks and I regret it.
[–]srkambbs1FDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
All those 2000s movies like friends with benefits etc really brainwashed us.
[–]MissWestSeattle 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, they really did. I'm very resentful that we were sold such lies.
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 58 points59 points60 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Having sex on the first date to "test sexual compatibility" is a complete lie, waste of time, and does the exact opposite of what it's meant to.
Of course sex on the first date will be great for the man and his dick will be compatible with 99% of vaginas. But he'll pump and dump and put us in the whore box.
Sex on the first date will be terrible for women who need to feel safe, secure and loved by a man they trust so they can relax and orgasm. She'll realise she was used, be sexually frustrated, and not get the oxytocin and release.
In which case she'll decline to see the man again. Both parties won't want to see each other again after a ONS.
It could have been good if they had gotten to know each other, he had begun to respect her, and she had felt safe, attracted to him and trusted him after a build-up of sexual tension.
But nah. men gotta lie to bust a nut and ruin it for everyone.
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
YES! I’m thinking about making a whole post about why sexual incompatibility is a hoax and is just pressuring people into sleeping to early and that when people are “sexually” incompatible other things come at play actually
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Do it 🙂 feel free to use what I said haha
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes ma’am will do it tomorrow when I’m not dead tired 😂
[–]Lost_Kale90FDS Apprentice 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Of course sex on the first date will be great for the man and his dick will be compatible with 99% of vaginas
🤣🤣truth
[–]oddcharmFDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. Had to get real with myself instead of lying and putting on a brave face. For starters, 99% of men suck at sex and can’t make you cum anyway! But those same losers left me with lower self esteem that had me second guessing my own worth. Good riddance!
I will no longer lie to myself and pretend I want what casual sex brings. I refuse to be treated like a human flesh light. I don’t even have a single friend who agrees that their casual sex phase was “empowering”
[–]europoor24FDS Newbie 146 points147 points148 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
tried it twice, wasn't worth it. But the media sure made it seem like a lot of fun
[–]RowbloksFDS Newbie 77 points78 points79 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I'm so surprised to see the difference in what the media portrays and what real women say about their experiences. It feels like a conspiracy.
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 47 points48 points49 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm certain its a conspiracy, everything the media says women should do is usually terrible for us (casual sex, 50/50 dates, making the first move, and so much more)
[–]FastCardiologist6128FDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then they wanna come at women when they actually follow through with what our hypersexualized culture pressures them to do
[–]tomatfrogbubblesFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mostly men were writing those movies right?
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 71 points72 points73 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well yeah, how else is OF supposed to earn its 💰???
[–]europoor24FDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We've been lied to for so long, it's pretty shocking
[–]TellCerseeItWasMeFDS Newbie 43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why sleep around when it's almost guaranteed that we won't cum?
[–]NonsluttymenFDS Newbie 36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Women often do it for one same reason manwhores do it. To “prove” to themselves that someone is attracted to them.
Unfortunately, the “attraction” is often fake on both sides, stemming from projection, ego, etc. However, it’s especially often fake from the man’s side. They’ll sleep with the exact same “unattractive” women they say they’d never sleep with.
We need a PSA to women about random men sleeping with them not being a compliment.
[–]poppinkittyFDS Newbie 78 points79 points80 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Also women should only have sex after being exclusive. And for Libfems saying that they have sex before being exclusive because it's important to them..you can dump the guy after being exclusive if you don't like the sex.
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Emotional connection >>> sex. If my partner cares for me and he is a mature and stable person there is no doubt in my mind that the sex will be good too. So far it has worked
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Exactly!! It's the emotional connection that makes the sex good, not a bunch of moves the guy does - those come into play too, but unless there is emotional connection, nothing the guy does will feel good regardless. I cannot feel good in a sexual encounter unless I know he loves me and cares for me and we are in a stable relationship.
[+]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] -7 points-6 points-5 points 5 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link
Have you looked into demisexuality? You might be a fellow demi -^
Edit: see my comment below for an explanation on why I asked this
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
I'm pretty sure I'm just a human being who requires some form of emotional connection with someone before doing something really intimate with them. I thought I was asexual for a long time because I did not want to have degrading sex, when I tell people I only want to have sex when I'm in a loving relationship - they always bring up demisexuality, which is not my case and plenty of other women. I don't think its a sexuality to require someone to not want to use you for sex and discard you afterwards, otherwise every single woman on earth would be a demisexual. Nobody tells men they're demisexual when they say they don't want to hop into bed with the first woman they see, they are considered normally functioning healthy human beings, but if a woman doesn't want to jump on the first guy she sees and has sex with him asap then something is wrong with her and she must have a different sexuality. Its like nobody can comprehend that some women don't want to have sex with strangers?
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Ahh I didn’t want to mean it that way. I’m not saying you’re wrong for not wanting to hop into bed with strangers, au contraire, you’re normal and how most people should be, but I guess that the “norm” now is to be the opposite so we had to invent a term for it
You see, the reason I identify myself as demi isn’t to say that emotional connection above sex is odd or abnormal, but instead in order to feel like I’m not crazy 😅
For context, when I was younger the idea of casual sex and “sexual” liberation was plastered everywhere and when I couldn’t even go on a second date with a borderline stranger I really begun to question my sanity.
Then I discovered this term and I realized hey that’s me!
I didn’t mean in any way to label you nor did I do it because you’re a woman with this mindset. Matter of fact, my guy best friend and boyfriend are also “demi” 😅
[–]tomatfrogbubblesFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Matter of fact, my guy best friend and boyfriend are also “demi”
Really? Do they themselves identify like that? Id like to find a bf thats "demi" lmao
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes they do altho my boyfriend is more laid back and doesn’t care to find labels about every type of behavior he exerts. My guy best friend is like me 😂
[–]IAteTheDragonFDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
Oh shoot, now that I looked it up, it's pretty damn sad that a separate 'branch' had to be made for people who require deeper emotional connection with a sexual partner. 😟 To me demisexuality looks pretty much like a healthy normal sexuality. This fcking world..
Edit: corrected a phrase
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yep, I agree. It’s sad that it’s not a “default” yet being pro hookups doesn’t have a term because you guessed it… it’s unfortunately mainstream
Isn’t it sad that I feel excluded and odd (Altho I’m not obviously) because I’m against this sexual liberation hoax?…
[–]IAteTheDragonFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hang in there sis, we gotta keep these standards high, waaay above the sewer levels ❤️
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t worry about me, there is no reason in this world that will make me lower my bar. Single and cannot find anyone? Oh well life is fun and good on my own too!
But sending the same energy back to you
[–]tomatfrogbubblesFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think its fine to make a distinction. There are people who cant feel sexual attraction to someone without having an emotional connection first and thats never been the majority of people. Most people can look at others and feel sexual attraction right away without needing a emotional connection first, both are okay and both have always existed.
[–]Ok-Appearance5982FDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Totally. Even after being exclusive , if you’re not ready to have sex then the boyfriend can wait. Being official doesn’t automatically translate to sex.
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wanted to add that I feel sorry for anyone in this thread who feels bad because they fell in the trap of “sex positivity”. However, your past doesn’t define you, it taught you something, focus on that and don’t drag yourself down with regret, otherwise you won’t reach your full potential
The past is in the past, the future is bright and limitless!
[–]electroloopRuthless Strategist 139 points140 points141 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Totally.
As someone who’s an ex cool girl and was okay with casual sex, I can tell you I’m paying the price now. I have extreme difficulties forming emotional connections with men, and it might happen once in a blue moon. When it does happen, I get scared and run away.
Casual sex was the fuel for my intimacy issues. I can admit that shamelessly now.
[–]GrapeJuiceEnthusiastFDS Disciple 74 points75 points76 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Not to take away from your experience but to be fair men themselves probably make it more difficult to form emotional connections with them...
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tbh it’s a bit of both. People with similar mindsets to this pro hookup mindset generally have a harder time to develop emotions because they have their priorities all fucked up
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]electroloopRuthless Strategist 36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I totally agree with your statement, but in my case that wasn’t the root of my issue. I don’t want to go into personal details about my psychological life and let’s leave it at that.
[–]fluffybarbwire 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think having intimacy issues to begin with and being the emotionally unavailable type, more likely saved me from disappointing and dangerous casual sex. It was hard enough to find intimacy and fulfilling sexual experiences even with an emotionally intelligent and mature partner who actually cares about me.
It never crossed my mind I could benefit in any way from providing assisted masturbation sessions for some rando off the street.
FWB always sounded so unfitting to me. We're not friends, bro. And just by looking how you can't catch a beat on the floor to save your life, I know there would be no benefits in for me.
Real friends would never shit on a friendship for a sloppy drunk hookup from time to time. I no longer think it's possible to have a friendship with a man. It was a tough wakeup call when I discovered time after time, that all my "friends" fuckzoned me and are just biding their time for when I'll be desperate enough to toss them a pity fuck.
I never expected better treatment from strangers.
[–]ketodietclubPickmeisha™️ 55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Women normally regret casual sex. Men rarely do: it's in their interest to promote casual sex as a societal norm, not ours.
There's also the long list of STDs you can catch, the risk of picking up an violent asshole. The sex will probably suck. The risk of unplanned pregnancy, and abortions are getting harder to get.
Just nah. Save it for someone you want to be with long term. As my mother said to me, "only let a guy fuck you if you are happy to have his baby".
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I agree with what your mother said even tho I don’t want children 😂
[–]ketodietclubPickmeisha™️ 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's a real quality filter.
[–]fluffybarbwire 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And men absolutely know how dangerous and devastating casual sex can be for women. They just don't care. That's why the biggest rapiest assholes feel so compelled to dismiss date rape:
"Oh, she probably just got drunk, hooked up with him "on a whim" and regretted in the morning...."
At best, they're telling on themselves how disappointed their random hookups feel in the morning...
But most likely they really think nothing of date rape, it's just another sexual "disappointment" for women.
[–]parabenprincessFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Libfems helped create hook-up culture tbh under the false narrative that it would be so “empowering and liberating” for women. Men just followed suite and ended up benefitting from it way more than women did.
[–]ColdxConfectionFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
https://changehim.com/the-friends-with-benefits-myth/
[–]NonsluttymenFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The pervasiveness of casual sex in popular culture and entertainment is like the ultimate manifestation of toxic masculinity in this patriarchal society - expecting people, especially women, to do the most intimate of acts with no associated emotion, or repressing any emotion, and somehow being proud of it.
[–]ieattoomuchjackFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This! Sex is something special. Not anything to give to just anyone.
[–]Impossible_Mud_7599FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah but FDS is tOxIc
[–]Ok-Appearance5982FDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I totally agree with this.
[–]A_FishstickFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The only way I would have a night stand is if I was born a man. That way there's no risk of me being left pregnant, it greatly reduced my risk of assault and STDs, no slut shaming, and I would basically have guaranteed organisms. For women, there really isn't that much physical or emotional benefit for sleeping with a guy so quickly.... outside of pickme validation.
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I personally think they are kind of a horror show for everyone involved, esp depending on how much liquor is involved.
Friends don’t let friends go home with strangers. Male or female. It rarely ends well.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]MixWideFDS Newbie 186 points187 points188 points
(23 children) | Copy Link
[–]engineergorlFDS Newbie 80 points81 points82 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]killerjewelsFDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]wineandtreesFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]killerjewelsFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]wineandtreesFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]killerjewelsFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]aquietswordFDS Newbie 83 points84 points85 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]engineergorlFDS Newbie 42 points43 points44 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]aquietswordFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thiswomanthatiknowFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NonsluttymenFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WestAtmosphereFDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]NonsluttymenFDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]fluffybarbwire 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NonsluttymenFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SaffroFDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FlashyKardashyFDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]YellowsunflowerloverFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MixWideFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]driverslicensebyORFDS Newbie 103 points104 points105 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Turbulent_Chart1074 60 points61 points62 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]europoor24FDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 31 points32 points33 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]europoor24FDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FlashyKardashyFDS Newbie 31 points32 points33 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MissWestSeattle 306 points307 points308 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 162 points163 points164 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]cakewalkofshameFDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Logical-Cod-8348 28 points29 points30 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]srkambbs1FDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MissWestSeattle 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 58 points59 points60 points
(5 children) | Copy Link
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 26 points27 points28 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lost_Kale90FDS Apprentice 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]oddcharmFDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]europoor24FDS Newbie 146 points147 points148 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]RowbloksFDS Newbie 77 points78 points79 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 47 points48 points49 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FastCardiologist6128FDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tomatfrogbubblesFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 71 points72 points73 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]europoor24FDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TellCerseeItWasMeFDS Newbie 43 points44 points45 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NonsluttymenFDS Newbie 36 points37 points38 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]poppinkittyFDS Newbie 78 points79 points80 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 55 points56 points57 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[+]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] -7 points-6 points-5 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]YVGNYFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]tomatfrogbubblesFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IAteTheDragonFDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 11 points12 points13 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]IAteTheDragonFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tomatfrogbubblesFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ok-Appearance5982FDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]electroloopRuthless Strategist 139 points140 points141 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]GrapeJuiceEnthusiastFDS Disciple 74 points75 points76 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]electroloopRuthless Strategist 36 points37 points38 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fluffybarbwire 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ketodietclubPickmeisha™️ 55 points56 points57 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]restlessGalFDS Newbie[S] 16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ketodietclubPickmeisha™️ 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fluffybarbwire 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]parabenprincessFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ColdxConfectionFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NonsluttymenFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ieattoomuchjackFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Impossible_Mud_7599FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ok-Appearance5982FDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]A_FishstickFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link