How long did you wait before being proposed to?

uwuwowowuwu · 2021-04-12T04:47:09+00:00

1-2 years for me. Anything less than 1 year feels too rushed to me but if he hasn't proposed after 2 years then it's time to walk. I also would never move in with a man who hasn't proposed.

Yellowsunflowerlover · 2021-04-12T05:24:15+00:00

I'm single, so I can only say what I've seen or heard. I've seen this response a lot, and from men mind you, the answer is 1-2 years. After the two year mark they know. If they haven't proposed they won't, and if they do way later, a lot of the times it's because the women bring it up constantly. The only exception is if you're both in school, or are already building financial goals together and mutually come to an agreement that marriage should and can wait.

Aocwannabe · 2021-04-12T03:25:16+00:00

Oooh I definitely want to read the answers here

For me I want to wait until I finish my schooling. He has his job and shit together and gets paid well and is graduating in a few months. I'm still in school however and refuse to be financially dependent on him. I want my own money. He understands and respects that

charliefoxyfeet · 2021-04-12T05:44:32+00:00

Engaged. He proposed after roughly a year and a half. Our wedding date is set for roughly a little over a year from our engagement.

Two years was the max I was willing to stay with him without a proposal. It simply doesn’t take long to know whether or not you want to commit to and marry someone. Anyone still trying to figure out if they do after that long has already figured it out, and the answer is they don’t want to.

I’m also cautious of rushing into marriage, so the timeline part is tricky. When you’re wildly in love and seeing each other through rose-tinted glasses, it’s easy to think they’re the right person. Men can fool us for quite some time and it’s important not to marry someone just based on our feelings for them.

I was adamant to check in with myself and the choice to marry him was not purely on my emotions - yes, I am wildly in love with him, but also, we are compatible, and he has consistently demonstrated that he is a good human, good friend, and good partner. That is how I truly knew I wanted to without a doubt marry him.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-04-12T04:14:00+00:00

2-2.5 years

But...

If you haven't met his family in year 1-1.5, you're never meeting them. An HVM should be proud to have you in his life.

Hostileovaries · 2021-04-12T03:56:24+00:00

Unmarried: 1-2 years for a proposal

IllTill3859 · 2021-04-12T07:56:29+00:00

32 , independent, financially stable and unmarried. I date with purpose. By month 3 I should be meeting extended family members. By month 6 we should be talking about marriage. I don’t initiate these convos by the way.

1 yr tops before I walk away. Need to be engaged at least 6 months and no moving in together. I am mot a forever girlfriend, I will not get a shut up ring.

It has been drilled into me by my father, my pastor, the men I look up in my life that it does not take a man who has his act together more than a year to propose. All I have heard from married men was they knew early on, but they decided to wait, to allow her to vet them. A financially stable man does not need several years to decide if you are the one.

Pasdepromesses · 2021-04-12T06:53:19+00:00

I dumped him after I found out he was LV, but he proposed around 14 months.

Now, most people around my age (late 20’s, early 30’s) don’t take longer than 2 years.

When we were still in uni, it was different because we all wanted to finish our masters first and save a little.

ChocoBananza · 2021-04-12T08:46:09+00:00

sigh

First one was after 10 years; Second one was after a year; Third one after 3 months.

None of it worked out. I’m now in a happy relationship with a (seemingly) HVM, and he’s hinting at a proposal within of a year of us dating.

I want to add that every single of my engagements fell apart because they felt like they owned me after I said ‘yes’. Most, if not all, effort stopped, arguments began, as well as moving/stomping on my boundaries. I’m terrified that I’ll go through it again...

idiosyncraticg1 · 2021-04-12T03:30:49+00:00

You need to set a timeline for yourself that would benefit you. Listen to what others have to say, but don’t apply it to your life unless you’re sure it will benefit you.

Everyone is different. I have friends in med school who want to graduate before getting married. And for the longest time I thought that I could be with someone for 4 years before getting engaged, now I think that 2 years is enough to know if you want to be with him. I would see myself moving in with someone after 2 years and getting engaged within the first year of living together, so totally dating for around 3. Maybe 4 tops.

I’ve seen my friends fiancés pop the question after only two years, and you know what they say? “I’ve wanted to propose since the day I met you”. They know. No one is going to date you for 5+ years unless you’re either teenagers or you’re simply a placeholder.

dkwantsdk · 2021-04-12T04:12:23+00:00

3 years. Would have been earlier but he was waiting to propose on the anniversary of our first date. 😁 I didn't feel I had to wait. I actually said to my girlfriends just a month before that I expected to be engaged within 6 months. I'd been in plenty of relationships before that I knew had no future. This one was the opposite of that.

sassyheather · 2021-04-12T05:23:00+00:00

We had the talk about him wanting to marry me and start a family at around 7 months into our relationship. My timeline depends on when we both graduate from university, we both agree we want it to be after we’re educated. But I do want to be married and ideally a mother in 5 years tops (I am 25 now) and he agrees. He knows I won’t be wasting any more years of my life on a relationship that wouldn’t go anywhere. If he doesn’t follow up on his words, I’m going 👋🏻

daisy_0720 · 2021-04-12T11:01:40+00:00

Unmarried, but a guy should have proposed by 2 years. Within 1 year is too early for me to have vetted him thoroughly, so I'd say 1.5 years is around the sweet spot. If 2 years have passed and there's no proposal... you ain't the one, sis. Men know early on.

I'm also in my 30's so there's no excuses for waiting around. If a guy hasn't got his professional/financial shit in order by then, I won't be dating him in the first place.

2021-04-12T04:11:17+00:00

That will vary depending on the person you ask, but in my opinion if you’ve expressed to your partner that your goal is to be married then they’re just dragging you along if they wait more than 1-2 years. They either want to be married you or not. It doesn’t take them 5+ years to decide.

electroloop · 2021-04-12T12:04:59+00:00

Previously Engaged/Single. Two years max. That’s an adequate amount of time to get to know someone and realize your compatibility. If a man isn’t crazy about you, he’ll continue to drag his feet about the subject. In my case, he was LV to the max and getting married would have been the biggest mistake of my life. I’m focused on my career and self development and hoping to be travelling around for my career in the next few years. I won’t have time to ‘settle down’ in one location.

Hockeygirl420 · 2021-04-12T06:44:10+00:00

I’m 28 & unmarried. I’d say 1-2 years.

fancypantsdance92 · 2021-04-12T04:56:31+00:00

I was engaged early. My now ex-fiance proposed about 1.5 years in. The reason we got engaged was to make visas easier. When I promoted him about whether or not he wanted to live in my country (Australia) he was unsure. It was enough for me to break it off. My advice here is this: have a serious chat about it and his motivations for engagement. It should be because he loves you and wants to build a life with you and for no other reason otherwise you will end up possibly in a bad marriage.

gingerwabisabi · 2021-04-12T05:15:11+00:00

In my case, we had talked about it unofficially and I knew he wanted to marry me by the end of the first year, but due to my circumstances and personality I asked him to wait. He proposed at 4 years and we got married not long after.

Technical_Moth248 · 2021-04-12T07:01:20+00:00

I told my husband I wouldn’t wait longer than two years. We got engaged around month 7 (I remember discussing it around our third month together) and threw our wedding together in two months because I got very sick shortly after and he wanted to be able to be with me if something went wrong. It didn’t last because he passed away, but I actually thought our time frame was fine and our relationship was extremely solid despite not dating for a decade like so many people swear by lol

If I decide to remarry I will follow the same guideline. I’m not a forever girlfriend type, and tbh at this point someone trying to force me into being one would be insulting. 🤣

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-04-12T12:47:14+00:00

I would date him 1 year max if he doesn't even ask me what I think about marriage and max 18 months without being proposed to. Engaged for 6-12 months. Married between year 2-3. Tbh, I don't even know if I'd say yes, but it's important for me that he wants to.

sveji- · 2021-04-12T13:47:39+00:00

We dated for two years and then were engaged for two years. We had a conversation about marriage and how we each felt about it and if it was the right choice for us. We both agreed and then he surprised me with a very sweet proposal a couple months after we discussed.

In my opinion a proposal should not be a total surprise. I'm not sure why we put all the power in the man's hands and that he gets to decide if we're worthy. My HVM and I are very collaborative, we have a true partnership and we both agreed we wanted to get married to symbolize our love and devotion to each other and celebrate with our friends and family.

FDS-GFY · 2021-04-12T05:31:57+00:00

Now that I am past 50 I don’t want to be married. What’s mine is mine etc. there’s no good reason any more.

If I was looking to get married in my younger years to have kids: 1 year. That’s it. Clock is ticking. (Not the wall but fertility wise)

marimare21 · 2021-04-12T14:44:15+00:00

Late 20s now. I have been dating my boyfriend for around 8 months now. If he doesn't mention marriage on his own accord by 1.5 year annivesary I'm out - but if I'm honest, closer to around the 1 year mark, since around that time are the my-birthday-Christmas-NYE-Vday kind of holidays! If there are extenuating life circumstances (education, job changes) then I'd be willing to wait to the second anniversary for the proposal but with marriage within 2-3 months post-proposal.

Since there are very obvious advantages for US to be married, he should see to it. He is aware that I am not willing to play professional girlfriend and of my general stance on marriage and why I date. I've mentioned once that "I would be long gone before a 5-year-relationship could ever happen" when talking about long relationships.

LevellingUpTime · 2021-04-12T04:27:54+00:00

Unmarried: 3 years before I move on. I'll give him 2.5 years to know he wants to marry me, check our compatibility in life or child raising or whatever, and then 6 months to get together the money for a ring

Any longer than that and it would seem to me he has doubts or concerns about our future, which he shouldn't have so early after the "best" 3 years of a relationship (with the honeymoon period and romance months and presumably no children or financial stresses involved)

3 years before even proposing is very generous considering engagement periods can last years as well. I'm not one for big weddings, so a dragged out engagement over the guise of "big wedding plans" would be a red flag for me too

brainsandb00bs · 2021-04-13T14:16:34+00:00

In my culture if you’re seeing a man for a year and he hasn’t formally asked your family permission to propose to you then it’s a problem. Even in western culture, if it takes him longer than 1/2 years you need to leave.

Baekseoulhui · 2021-04-12T03:43:45+00:00

Im about to be married this saturday. We have been together for a year. NOW. I do know that isnt a long time, however we had been talking about it since about 6 months in. He is in the military and i was living in another state and tbh it is what made sense for us.

We were friend before dating and everything came very naturally. We have never argued... Like ever. We have all the same ideals and life goals.

I do not think this timeline will work for everyone, but i also don't think its worth waiting around for 5+ years. I was previously engaged to a lvm and we were hitting our 6 year mark when i left.

Your experience will be different. My best advice is dont look to get married until you are the you that you want to be. Be that after graduating, or landing that dream job, whatever it is. There is no "wall" trust me.

MummyCroc · 2021-04-12T12:15:17+00:00

We got "engaged" about 8 months into our relationship. We had been friends for about 3 months before we started dating. Got married traditionally 2 months after the engagement.

donttextme_k · 2021-04-12T04:22:36+00:00

At around 8 months, we talked about our thoughts on marriage 3 months in but I didn’t gave him a timeline

Manky7474 · 2021-04-13T16:26:40+00:00

My bf asks me casually to get married all the time, but I keep pushing it back and saying propose when I'm 30. Not ready to get married before then personally! We are buying a house together atm which seems a bigger commitment anyway

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2021-04-12T20:28:00+00:00

back in the day, when I was interested in monogamy, I waited no longer than 6 months for a ring from my exes. The longest I waited was 2 years before I developed the 6-month rule.

If I ever become interested in monogamy again, I would absolutely ghost any man who hasn't given me a ring on the 6 month mark.

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