Man’s idea of clean is actually super messy. Avoid men who cannot take care of their living space, even when nobody else will see it. His home should be kept tidy regardless of whether a guest is coming over.

wagonwheel_ · 2021-01-28T02:15:23+00:00

The last guy I dated was a refrigerator hoarder. You know the type: a single pickle in the jar in the back of the fridge, 2 month old leftovers, the five half empty bottles of ketchup throughout.

I organized his fridge for him. Then I found FDS.

Never again.

ponchoacademy · 2021-01-28T02:56:38+00:00

Im willing to admit, when in severe depressive episodes, my home has been a total wreck and it would be a couple days of panicked cleaning if anyone had to come to my place.

Having said that, this is what I dont understand...now some of it may be cultural, but even in the deepest pit of depression, I had enough pride that I would never, ever, allow anyone to see my place looking a mess. That would be humiliating. So no matter what was going on with me, my place was always clean and tidy when someone came over.

Im in a much better place now, and my home is clean all the time. If someone were to drop by unexpectantly, I wouldnt be embarrassed. The worst of it might be a couple dishes in the sink. Thats a freaking amazingly good feeling, and Ive reached a point where I feel I deserve to live like this, not just for guests.

Now heres the thing, I have no idea how a guy can invite me over, and theres crap everywhere. Like, wheres the pride? The shame? Im not sure which is worse between feeling like it wasnt worth the effort to clean up before I come over, or that they have so little self awareness they think their place is clean. Either way, it makes me feel very uncomfortable and unwelcome. Thats a no go.

InaneObservations · 2021-01-28T02:14:51+00:00

Lol. I'm guessing his HOURS OF CLEANING is, like, 2 hours. It still looks dirty because he still uses the same sponge from 2018.

OrangeyPanda · 2021-01-28T02:05:27+00:00

He spends HOURS cleaning EVERY time she comes over? So he either let's his place get disgustingly dirty in between each time she comes over, and there's no hiding that no matter how hard you clean...or he's one of those absolute idiots that spends hours trying to make the windows sparkle or wiping down his gaming systems while ignoring the crumbs all over the carpet and counters.

seraphinelysion · 2021-01-28T03:30:26+00:00

Story time!

I went to go visit my brother, who lives with a male roommate. His roommate was kind enough to let me stay in his room and use his bathroom because my brother's gf lives with him in his room. His roommate told me that he spent a WHOLE DAY cleaning everything. The first time I stepped foot in his bathroom, I noticed how cluttered the bathroom counter was, how there was a thick layer of dust all over the stuff on the counter, how the toilet was brown and moldy under the rim (he said he scrubbed it), and how there was hair clippings all over the sink area. I didn't want to be rude and point this out, and I just told myself... TYPICAL MALE.

God, I will never live with a man again.

BasieSkanks · 2021-01-28T04:54:53+00:00

The man who wrote the comment has been trying to comment on this post. I’m sure it will come as a shock to absolutely nobody here that he’s a gamer.

Forwardgash · 2021-01-28T03:13:07+00:00

I dated a guy who would have bags of garbage and dirty dishes hidden in parts of his room that he thought I wouldn’t notice like I don’t possess working eyeballs. Absolutely disgusting.

riotous486saturn · 2021-01-28T03:14:46+00:00

I generally think my home is messy even though compared to the homes I have visited my home is practically spotless. I can’t imagine being so filthy that hours of cleaning still gets you nowhere. 🤢🤢🤢

mostlycoder · 2021-01-28T02:42:23+00:00

"hours cleaning" to him is an hour and a half with long breaks for looking at his phone and watching tv

drunkenwithlust · 2021-01-28T05:41:11+00:00

What's nagging me is the fact that that comment has 4.5k upvotes. Yikes.

So basically there's roughly four thousand people out there who leave dishes piled in the sink but make sure to wipe around the piles once in a while?

frogchickenhorse · 2021-01-28T07:18:38+00:00

I’m not an anal clean freak and my house is my home. I tend not to judge people how they live as I live with depression. I dated a guy who had literal rubbish knee high in the single room he rented. I wanted to run when I saw it. I didn’t god I wish I did. So my standard is no hoarders, rubbish piled high and if I get the urge to run, it’s a good bye

Platipus6 · 2021-01-28T02:12:40+00:00

More like he's given himself executive functioning brain damage from porn use and literally can't complete a task, spends hours fucking around accomplishing nothing, gets frequently distracted while attempting to clean, and finds no joy in cleaning anyway so he doesn't do it any other day.

Little_Miss_Abyss · 2021-01-28T08:46:30+00:00

Oh my god, y'all, rant time.

One of my good friends recently got into a relationship with another friend of mine, and even though she has a strong personality, IDK what it is about men that makes her fold. As I used to be friends with him, I know his messiness level, and it's sad to see her say she's "training" him out of that. Like... how sad is it that she's gloating about teaching a grown man to buy windex to wipe his surfaces?? or that she has to passive-aggresively guilt him into doing his dishes????

Girl, if this is training, you should have gotten a dog instead.

(And the worst part is that I can't say anything to her about that. She's the type that will believe boyfriends over friends. It sucks, I love and care for her very much, and while he's a good guy, I think she doesn't deserve a schmuck, not the type of talented and capable woman she is.)

/rant, sorry.

screamingracoon · 2021-01-28T10:06:14+00:00

Yeah, no, I completely get this one. I always try to be tidy, but most of the time it’s just... impossible. I lived without a roommate in my dorm for the first time ever last fall, and I would try to keep the room tidy but always ended up having dozens of take out boxes, cups, used mugs, food wrappers, balled up papers everywhere in like three days. I had a minifridge and sometimes forgot food in there for weeks; when I moved out in late November I found a slice of coconut cake dated back to September.

Being neurodivergent is exhausting, especially if you don’t know it and think that you’re just lazy and that something in you is too broken to fix.

DMmechipsoman · 2021-01-28T10:01:56+00:00

Gross but not unexpected. I had a male housemate once who was moving out, and I planned to shift into his room as had an en suite, was bigger. But I hadn’t ever properly seen inside the room.

I came home one day to find he had moved out without saying bye and had left the most disgusting mess. There was a white rectangle on the carpet, where his mattress apparently lay. Cream carpet was dark grey with not being cleaned for years. Bathroom floor was sticky and with mold and dried fluro yellow piss caked everywhere. Dirty tissues, crusty towels and a bag of what was originally bread but had disintegrated into chunky liquid.

Arsehole had taken his deposit back from the agent already, despite them requiring an inspection first, so I had to get it cleaned up at my cost before I could move in as they had already arranged a new tenant for the next day.

He was well presented, had women over all the time in that room. Disgusting they may have walked through that barefoot.

myousername · 2021-01-28T07:15:04+00:00

Here's a crazy idea. Why not maintain a baseline level of cleanliness all the time?

That way, you can invite people over on short notice without much hassle. All you would need to do is a quick tidy!

Not-A-SoggyBagel · 2021-01-28T12:41:16+00:00

My ex was like this. I stayed with him for most of my younger twenties unfortunately.

He kept our place somewhat tidy when I was home so I was unaware. However when I left for a contract (it was maybe 13 weeks to 15 weeks long) and came back, I couldn't recognize our apartment anymore. He leaves for similar contracts too and I always kept the place organized but as soon as I left, its like he completely stopped maintenance.

All the dishes were used, my ceramic pans were scuffed, clothes were on the floor/on everything, all our towels were on the floor, our cat had fleas because he forgot to apply flea meds once a month, our birds had mites because of the same issue, and my couch/desk had been devoured by the mess so I didn't even have a place to sit to hash this out. I just set down my suitcase and wanted to go back to my car and drive anywhere else.

He had the audacity to claim that he didn't know where the flea meds were for our pets (in the med cabinet next to human meds), not pay me back for my scuffed all clads, did not even try to help me clean up, asked me to cook him food, all this after I drove over five hours to return to that disaster and just wanted to sleep.

Men hide their true selves from us for years, I "knew" him for years without knowing this.

Pasdepromesses · 2021-01-28T06:38:07+00:00

I don’t even get how he cleans for hours and it’s still that bad. You can deep clean a medium house in four to five hours probably.

I have an apartment and I’m really lazy. Before COVID I had a maid for deepcleaning. Now I do it myself. It takes literally 2 hours tops every other Saturday morning and after that I can enjoy my weekend in a clean house. I do laundry every week and that’s not too much work either and change my bed linens.

So it’s 2 hours biweekly deepcleaning + one hour (added up) every week laundry and bed. My house looks tidy and spotless and I get a lot of compliments.

I suspect that these guys don’t keep tidy when they’re doing something like cooking or using the sink, bathroom or whatever. Or when they drop some crumbs of food they just leave it there 😵 Not folding laundry when it’s dry immediately but put it in a big heap. Using a window puller after showering is probably also a very foreign concept. That’s the only way I can imagine this scenario to happen.

weekend111 · 2021-01-28T09:56:13+00:00

I’ll admit I’m just not the most organized person. My home can get a bit messy. But never so messy it’s not sparkling clean after two hours of cleaning, Jesus Christ.

2021-01-28T12:24:27+00:00

So true. They'll move a blanket and throw a few shirts in the closet and call it a day 💀

2021-01-28T17:12:46+00:00

"I dont judge you" Why the hell not?

False_Natural6395 · 2021-01-28T08:39:26+00:00

Went to a guy I’d been datings place after a few months, on a random night out. He was super hesitant for me to come in and I found out pretty quickly why. It wasn’t as bad as mattress on the floor but there was one pillow, no top sheet, and a new pillow was randomly in a box. Oh, and there was half a plate in the middle of the lounge with food on it. So gross. Gently dumped a week later. Every other part of his life seemed to be together, well presented, good job, good manners, relatively intelligent, in touch with his emotions etc. But that was so gross.

honeybeeroll · 2021-01-29T01:48:16+00:00

The fact that he cleans for hours every time means he let's his place gets so disgusting it needs to be deep cleaned. Which makes no sense because wtf is he doing that he's so messy???? Men usually have short hair and therefore shouldn't have the insane hair mess us women have where we need to swiffer/sweep daily. Unless he has a pet that sheds like crazy, his place shouldn't be getting so super dirty. Only explanation is he's an absolute slob and rarely cleans. And when he does he doesn't even know how 💀.

KateJ1982 · 2021-01-28T20:43:35+00:00

Imagine bragging about cleaning for hours, yet your place still looks disgusting, and your girlfriend who is willing to hang out with you that filth.

Comments