There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being high maintenance.

Valeria_Venn · 2021-07-13T19:41:43+00:00

I personally think that actually HV prefer a woman that seeks the best for herself, it signifies great confidence, self esteem and good boundaries with herself.

Being high maintenance, to LVM, makes them feel bad because they can't even get to your level. They cry out in the hopes you'd lower yourself to their level and accept BS.

frustratedanon123 · 2021-07-13T21:59:01+00:00

I've never seen a man feel bad for having a $1,200/month payment on a $70,000 truck that he'll have for maybe ten years, so why should I feel bad about investing in my own body which I will have all my life?

shinyjewels · 2021-07-13T19:34:22+00:00

Girl live your best life. The definition of "high maintenance" is whatever a LVM wants to define it at a particular time. I had a guy tell me I was high maintenance because I liked to go home to see my parents once a month and my parents cook for me when I'm home. Bro what. He was basically admitting that he would never cook for me lol

p0ludnitsa · 2021-07-13T21:13:06+00:00

Thank you! It took me forever to understand this. I used to think that I was more deserving of a man because I considered myself low-maintenance.

I am not wealthy but now I save and set money aside for what's important to me. I buy myself clothes that flatter me. I have a small perfume collection. I love getting my nails and hair done (and tipping well). I spend even more money on equipment for my hobbies, which contributes to my mental health. N/LVM hate when we are mentally healthy even more than when we look good.

A HVM will see the excellent care you take of yourself and be impressed. He wants this for you as much as you'd want him to be looking after himself in the same way.

shelballama · 2021-07-14T00:35:59+00:00

Those same guys would neg the SHIT out of you for dull hair, blemishes on the face, if you don't smell like daisies 24/7. You can't win, so might as well do what makes you feel refreshed and happy

Confused_One_ · 2021-07-13T21:02:34+00:00

Girl, you do you! I too used to balk at being viewed as high maintenance, but now I embrace it because why the hell not.

My sister has always known this, even when I tried to deny it. Instead of trying to get me to lower my standards, she accommodates me (without me asking).

midwesternwinds · 2021-07-13T23:06:13+00:00

They don't like 1) seeing their fantasy of a "naturally beautiful" woman ruined by the reality of dedicated beauty routines to get that pretty and 2) hate that women take pleasure in something that isn't about or for guys.

Any_Indication_2754 · 2021-07-14T00:05:24+00:00

You're not high matinence, they're just low effort.

ComprehensiveAmoeba9 · 2021-07-13T19:48:00+00:00

Some scrote called me a “princess” as an insult because I wanted dinner to be paid for and I expected more than to be taken to our local KFC or Jack in the Box. I also bought myself a nice expensive handbag and for some reason he was mad about that😂 He had no job and mooched off his parents so he didn’t have a chance with me anyway. I took his derogatory commentary as a compliment since raising my standards weeds out LVM like him

AbbyDean1985 · 2021-07-13T21:42:00+00:00

HVM appreciate "high maintenance" women.

proudpine · 2021-07-13T23:43:16+00:00

You are singing my song 😍 What services do you get done? I’m always looking for more self care ideas.

shljock · 2021-07-13T20:17:14+00:00

It's such an arbitrary term and is a good screaming red flag to look for. If someone is trying to shame me for my standards or how I spend my money or my time... do let the door hit ya 👋

Eta: the last time i was told i was high maintenance was for reapplying spf multiple times during the day. It's a universal recommendation by ever dermatology society + i already had highly suspicious moles removed. So it's, you know, pretty important for my life. The awful person in question is a healthcare worker. They knew what they were doing. They literally didn't want good for my health.

thatjimmylove · 2021-07-14T03:49:28+00:00

I adore rigorous beauty routines, not because of wanting to be beautiful but because it is a way I feel I am both taking time for myself and also in meditative energy refuelling state ( only when in a true relax pamper not maintenance.

I have always been "high maintenance" but I do not understand the negative association with it, it is just another way someone chooses to spend their time. Key word is their time, MY time, I am not putting anything on someone else.

Men who get upset by this I find do not take interests a woman would hold seriously, so they insult and disparage it but are perfectly fine dropping cash to golf every week

More_Pothos · 2021-07-13T20:54:19+00:00

Preach! 👏 Many times, being “high maintenance” simply means knowing and loving yourself enough to prioritize your own needs. 💁‍♀️

oceanstains · 2021-07-13T23:29:54+00:00

I smiled so big reading this. Love that for you

masterofthebarkarts · 2021-07-14T12:16:29+00:00

I'm high maintenance? So is Disneyland and everyone wants to go there. If you prefer a county fair go ahead, get your yeehaw on. But there's nothing wrong with preferring rollercoasters to tractor pulls.

Muffcakelord · 2021-07-15T00:42:07+00:00

That's truly inspiring! Well done!

I'm kind of high maintenance myself but in my regard it's more about treating myself to food experiences. There's a certain situation that's been eating at me; my partner of almost a year invited me to his for take-away and a movie, and he only paid for his food and not mine. We live in scandinavia where the genders are a lot more equal and has been more equal for longer than many other cultures so it's not usual to expect for the man to pay, but it did hurt me seeing as i believe that men's generosity is a reminder or proof of their investment in the relationship, and whenever he doesn't pay for me in settings like that where i feel like it would make sense to do so, i feel disrespected but i'm unable to explain why.

It's maybe only vaguely relevant, but i would really love for some of you queens to help me understand this situation. Is it at all normal to invite someone for take-away and not pay for both? Could i be sensitive about it because i myself am used to always "treating myself" to food related treats? Am i just disagreeing with scandinavian norms?

poody456 · 2021-07-14T15:11:41+00:00

I stopped getting/wearing false eyelashes for this reason! I love the way they make my eyes look and complete my eye makeup, and they allow my natural lashes to grow without interference from mascara etc. I stopped wearing them & looked down at women who did during the whole “take her swimming on the first date” era and began to associate wearing them with trying too hard, being high maintenance etc. Still unlearning the idea that caring about your appearance is high maintenance especially in regard to makeup & fashion.

relationship_reddit · 2021-07-14T21:48:20+00:00

I think most men prefer women who are high maintenance, it's just that most of them don't have the ability or money to get a woman like that.

Thelimitdoes · 2021-07-17T01:55:59+00:00

Preach, sis!!!

Title	There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being high maintenance.
Author	curlywurlyprincess
Upvotes	543
Comments	42
Date	July 13, 2021 7:26 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ojmxcr/theres_absolutely_nothing_wrong_with_being_high/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/theres-absolutely-nothing-wrong-with-being-high.790771 https://theredarchive.com/post/790771

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