What are your thoughts on this? Nearly all comments say “to make sure you’re not a catfish” but I don’t buy it.

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sleepysiri · 2021-03-18T07:46:24+00:00

I saw this and don’t buy it either. There is no excuse to be pushy and desperate for a picture. Scrotes just can’t think beyond where their dick leads them.

Platipus6 · 2021-03-18T08:50:28+00:00

Guys have shot themselves in the foot by trying to cover their power and control issues with "checking you're not a catfish luv" excuse.

If a guy is so stupid he's been fooled by catfish before, he's undateable. Fake profiles and bots are so easy to spot. He literally just admitted "I am a dumbfuk who is easily fooled".

"I am not a catfish" is something a catfish would say! It's the dumbest way to get proof lmao. A catfish would have more snaps handy. Or whatever catfish do I dunno.

The real reasons : boundary tests. If you cave to this, they escalate. It WILL be nudes later. They WILL share it to the bois. It will be camming. It WILL be 2am sexting "what would do you if i was there rn " nonsense.

Control : soon it will be "take a quick snap, PROVE YOU ARE WHERE YOU SAY YOU ARE I'M A PARANOID CONTROL FREAK LOGGING THE MILEAGE ON YOUR ODOMETER"

Power : they've freely admitted they get a thrill from making a woman do what she's stated she's uncomfortable doing.

Insecure : they feel special getting a "fresh" selfie from someone. She must really like him if she sent a unique one to just him.

Depravity : yeah they're fapping.

Devalue : you did what he asked, you have no boundaries, you like him, ew! Now he has no respect for you.

Trophy collecting : some guys just see how many women they can collect in a night. Like sport.

To hurt women : getting a pic from you and then ghosting and blocking you stings and they know it. You spend an hour wondering if you're ugly.

There is NO good reason to send a fuckboi fresh selfies.

He wants to see your pretty face, he can take you on a date at a reasonable hour.

sleepykittn · 2021-03-18T08:00:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sleepykittn · 2021-03-18T07:48:06+00:00

Sending selfies prove nothing. Only face time so its bs. They just get bored and want something new.

NoneOfYourBusinessPS · 2021-03-18T07:54:44+00:00

If he gets upset, block him.

Ladies, get it in your head: THEY need us, we DON'T need them. Plenty of other and better fish in the sea of men besides the ones who insist on pics.

Move on from them immediately.

pinkcityscape · 2021-03-18T08:49:32+00:00

It’s a lie they just want fap material. If they really want to weed out catfishes they could ask for a video call like a normal person would...

CandidKick · 2021-03-18T09:40:17+00:00

He wants to convince her to show her face so he can then move on to body pics until he can eventually push his way in to getting nudes. He will also eventually find a way to not only normalize, but blame his pushy behavior on her. Something along the lines of ‘I am just asking if you can do X. Why do you have to make such a big deal out of everything!’ Save yourself the trouble. Not worth it.

throw-meawaytoheaven · 2021-03-18T09:14:37+00:00

My ex always asked me for selfies, when he didn't watch porn. I know he used them to masturbate because he told me so (I didn't know for ages tho).

I asked him for selfies bc we had a long distance relationship (bc of uni) and I missed seeing him.

(Notice the difference between us)

So at some point as the relationship deteriorated and he stopped asking me and wasn't watching porn, I bet he used either fb pictures or softcore porn. I asked him and he got super angry and said he wasn't a fb pervert. (I bet he is a fb pervert)

I really don't get the face thing. Like how is a face arousing? I would find that so disturbing to just stare at someone's face and feel so creepy.

bluebird_wings · 2021-03-18T11:17:08+00:00

Honestly. Video-calling is a better way of detecting a catfish, and I personally prefer it because it's harder for them to keep images (not impossible, just harder), plus you actually get to talk. I'm with her, it makes me uncomfortable when guys ask for selfies too. And yeah, they NEVER reciprocate equally. They ARE creeps, so be creeped out lady

2021-03-18T11:48:49+00:00

I was wondering this too. The moment I started talking with a guy, he immediately demands for selfies when my social media has tons of pics. It makes me wonder is he trying to test the waters to see if you obey him or he is using the picture for masturbation. I am so turned off by a man who is demanding

Hhjjuuy · 2021-03-18T13:47:33+00:00

They're trying to exert control. They just want to make you do something for them and this is one of the few things you can do virtually. It isn't just masturbation fodder because I think the same applies to other photo requests like wanting to see your pet/meal/activity early on. There definitely is a sexual bent to it as well but even then they are getting off to the power that they feel over you more than the visual stimulus.

EDIT: Also, that they think the risk of being catfished is even worth bringing up is utterly ridiculous. What are you even risking? You might show up to a restaurant and someone looks different than you expected? If these men were taking dating even a little seriously this wouldn't be an issue for them at all. The only reason they're scared of a catfish is if they intend to get you in a situation where your being a man who is stronger than him would be bad for him, and any situation like that would mean that he knows that meeting a woman in that situation puts her at a greater risk of harm from him.

I've had this asked of me in the past and it really just pisses me off. Like they have any idea of the actual physical risk we put ourselves in every time we give them a chance at all. Fucking catfishing. I could probably write a couple of thousand words on the layers of fuckery in this, misogyny is always an onion.

aquietsword · 2021-03-18T09:01:04+00:00

I feel like it's a creepy control thing. Reasons don't matter too much, but making this request annoys me to new levels. Post fds this is a personal block and delete.

pretty_kill · 2021-03-18T08:41:26+00:00

Its so low effort. He gets to see your pretty face without taking you out. Nope. I don’t like selfies and am not always prepared for a selfie and hate being pressured for pics, so I’m just gonna tell guys I don’t have Snapchat if I ever get into OLD again 😒

TERFSareawesome · 2021-03-18T15:37:01+00:00

Because forcing a woman to take selfies for you is forcing her to do labor for you, which LVM love. LVM have a pathological obsession with being catered to like a widdle baby. In order to take a selfie, I personally have to find a quiet space (because I hate taking them in public with others watching), angle it correctly, plaster a big smile on my face, etc. It's not like it takes ten hours to do, but no matter what you have to stop whatever you're doing, pull out your phone, and then pose for him like he's Hugh Hefner and you're shooting your playboy application. They absolutely love the idea of women dancing around and seeking out their approval, and this is another way to push her into that role.

NoMacaron3041 · 2021-03-18T08:14:12+00:00

I've been in many situations where a guy seems normal and good until he starts insisting I send 1000 selfies. Something just feels off about it. My boyfriend never asks for any selfies or nudes, he knows I'll send things when I want to.

My theory is that guys are likely using it for masturbation if they are super deprived. Some guys told me that my lips made them hard or how innocent my eyes were, or how young my face looked. Or because I accidentally had a tiny bit of cleavage. Be wary about those guys. I cut them off and eventually found someone who respects my boundaries.

fancy_tetrahedron · 2021-03-18T12:53:09+00:00

Yep, I was talking to this guy once and he kept asking me to send him selfies "because he wanted to see me" but when I requested a video call he always refused. I didn't see it as much of a big deal and sent him a selfie every now and then. Then all of a sudden he started asking me for nudes. I immediately blocked and deleted. If he really wants to look at you that much he can do it over a date or a video call. But nope. They only want to see us as mute objects.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-03-18T17:03:25+00:00

There is immense pressure on women to send selfies and to give their instagram account from men on OLD.

Immense.

Huge.

Planetary.

And yes, it's to add to their fap folder.

I met a guy on OLD and instead of dating I rather asked him inside stories. Without further inquiry he treated me like a buddy of his and showed me his phone. The media section had lots of folders each bearing the name of a girl (I guess I had a folder as well). The folder contained screenshots of their profiles, conversations, selfies he asked for, nudes. He said his favorite was a girl who rejected him but who sent him a nude and that he frequently used her as fap material. He had no problem distributing her personal photos and her nudes to his buddies and their group and even sending snapshots of their conversation. No problem, no conscience, no care.

And what is worse, from my experience, when you refuse to give those, they say stuff like: but all the other girls do it, you're being so difficult. Or make fun of you saying you're ugly or whatever... Just because they didn't get their own way. OLD is mainly about sex. Let's be honest. Most people swipe based on looks and fuckability. Men swipe on everyone. I can vouch for that. To them, there is no "bad pussy. There are exceptions to this approach to OLD but that's what they are: exceptions, 1 in a 1000000.

just_ivy_wtf · 2021-03-18T10:02:24+00:00

Even if It had nothing to do with all the perverted stuff all the comments have mentioned, It shows superficiality, mistrust and projection, as well as boundary pushing.

GoldandGlowing · 2021-03-18T10:11:03+00:00

It’s to send to his friends.

vishnushady · 2021-03-18T12:46:04+00:00

I always block and move on at the first sign of being pushy. Major red flag that I ended up learning the hard way

minisara75 · 2021-03-18T11:50:29+00:00

I found on my ex's phone hundreds of screenshots from his Tinder days, including pictures girls would have sent him (some being regular selfies). So yeah, the pictures you have on your profile are enough, he can do some research if he's scared of being catfished. Do NOT send anything else.

massageenvious2019 · 2021-03-18T11:54:58+00:00

You can send 1,000 pics and it will never be enough. They always want more. I absolutely refuse to send any pics dump that prick for being an idiot.

Charming-Bee-2337 · 2021-03-18T14:58:17+00:00

Its weird. If he wants to see me we can meet up in person. Im not wasting my time with this shit. Like other comments have said its a power thing and they do get off on it. And it will eventually led into them asking for nudes.

BooksandEarlGreyTea · 2021-03-18T12:51:07+00:00

I think it is a control thing and power play, to see if you will cave on the boundary you set of not sending a photo. The fact he ignored the no is being pushy (which she is minimising by saying borderline) is a reason to yeet and delete.

Because if you cave once, he will push to find out where else you will cave.

Tharn_3E399 · 2021-03-18T12:17:04+00:00

This is a common thing that really grates my nerves. A guy will get a gal on Skype or whatever and he'll always have access to her visage, but he won't do the same for her...

Instead, he'll hideaway... no mic or cam for her to see and hear him... but keep breadcrumbing her.

Edit: I'm a new account and previous lurker/upvoter on my main. Also, I've had this happen to me.

simplicityduplicity · 2021-03-18T15:25:11+00:00

In no part of her post did she mention that she was interested in him. Dear lord. We are not merchandise to be pedaled to the male masses.

haunted_vcr · 2021-03-18T18:22:53+00:00

Next time he asks for a snap, ask for screenshots of his investment accounts.

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-03-18T11:44:50+00:00

How about video call then? They don't need nudes or sexy posing or a face PICTURE to see if this is the person they are talking too. Sending pictures is idiotic to check for this. Everyone can just pull a pic from the internet. Video call is the way to verify identity better. They want pics for masturbation, to send to their friends, to post on porn sites and internet forums.

Nice_Pass2393 · 2021-03-18T15:31:45+00:00

I put on my profile "no nudes or sexting" and it actually worked. But I sometimes demand snaps of a guy before meeting if his profile pics look blurry or he's always making weird faces. One snap is usually all it takes for me to see if hes hideous

2021-03-18T17:04:42+00:00

God, I fell for this TWICE even though both times it made me soooo uncomfortable. I HATE photos of myself. Not even 'sexy' photos, and it still made my skin crawl. Why did I do that? Both those men probably showed my photos to their bros and made fun of me because 'stupid bitch couldn't even send a sexy photo'.

Nice_Pass2393 · 2021-03-18T11:56:24+00:00

I wont send more than 3 snaps. If we don't meet in a week hes blocked. I also dont talk at all unless were making plans

iaintgonnacallyou · 2021-03-18T16:41:13+00:00

I read this post as well and don’t believe the comments either. Of course it’s all men doubling down.

If you get catfished, that’s on you. It’s 2021, there are tons of ways of figuring that out. But looking slightly different from your photos is not catfishing. But this is exactly what they’re getting at: if you don’t look exactly the same as this photo with great lighting and angles, you’re a catfish.

_queeeen_ · 2021-03-18T18:19:51+00:00

At best he’s insecure and cynical. Pass.

Kristeninmyskin · 2021-03-19T00:19:05+00:00

What really frosts my cookies is how they’re trying to normalize this! A few years ago, there was a commercial for a root touch up spray where this exact scenario was depicted. The guy was asking her to send a selfie and she was worried about her roots so she uses the product and send him some pictures and then he asked her for more!!

Found it!

Cultural_Training249 · 2021-03-19T05:19:25+00:00

The one time that I tried OLD. I met one guy for a date. The next day he asked me for a pic. I asked why because that ish is weird to ask for pictures. I said you know what I look like, you've seen my pictures online and we've been out, what do you need a picture for? He starts fumbling and trying to make up something that would sound logical. I ended up cursing him out and of course, never heard from him again.

Even though he didn't say, I know that he has to be a pervert and he doesn't need pictures. I also know that since I don't take photos showing breasts or ass. No cleavage, no side shots showing my shape. No tight clothes meant to show every curve. Nothing. I know that they really want those revealing photos and shots. Like the majority of women do on OLD. Just say no to OLD.

Title	What are your thoughts on this? Nearly all comments say “to make sure you’re not a catfish” but I don’t buy it.
Author	hannahunt07
Upvotes	203
Comments	76
Date	March 18, 2021 7:43 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m7lr67/what_are_your_thoughts_on_this_nearly_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-are-your-thoughts-on-this-nearly-all-comments.1190892 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190892

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