What would you do if...

dntbfllikeidid · 2020-09-09T02:18:55+00:00

I wish they all just sucked their own dicks instead of expecting us to do it, honestly! 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

heythere360 · 2020-09-09T00:02:08+00:00

At first I thought I was horrified because of this story.

But then I realized I’m horrified by the realization that if all men could, all men would.

And I mean all. 100% of them.

Lord why am I straight😭

Hedy__Lamarr · 2020-09-09T00:59:38+00:00

My ex admitted to trying it. I guarantee you every man has at least tried.

cupcakedreamz · 2020-09-09T00:03:51+00:00

He probably worked on his flexibility just to do this🤮

Verysoftbun · 2020-09-09T00:54:19+00:00

Is it bad that I'm just jealous?

Also if he ever asked for a BJ if be like "but you could just give yourself one?"

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-09-09T00:35:15+00:00

So apparently the list of bizarre gross and perverted things men will fuck also includes themselves....

eveninghope · 2020-09-09T00:11:25+00:00

She feels bad for running away??? I'd fucking sprint to Mars and never look back.

glowingupasafds · 2020-09-09T01:25:21+00:00

I feel bad for laughing but I’m also not surprised at all that a man would do this

gursky0 · 2020-09-09T02:27:30+00:00

Like a dog licking its balls. 😂

whiterabbit818 · 2020-09-09T00:00:50+00:00

I really didn’t think that was psychically possible...?

youdipthong · 2020-09-09T00:45:16+00:00

I’m... disturbed...

Hahane · 2020-09-09T09:51:41+00:00

She was in a cafe for 5 hours. He wasn't looking for her? Continued sucking his dick?

chateauduchat · 2020-09-09T00:09:41+00:00

TMI sorry but my ex narc admitted to me that he sucked his own crooked dick when he was a kid. Like... and finished.

Why did God make me straight. Why.

bear_sees_the_car · 2020-09-09T05:48:27+00:00

If i were a man, I would try this too. At the very least, out of curiosity, "how would it feel". When i explored my sexuality as a teen, I did weird shit, so what.

Also, it is my own body, and I like myself the most. Sounds like masturbation to me, or fondling own boobs. Whats the issue? Am I too depraved?

paperbagskirt · 2020-09-09T00:33:15+00:00

Lmaoooooooooo

Proud-Purpose · 2020-09-09T03:13:41+00:00

Better him than me.

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2020-09-09T04:14:58+00:00

When you think you’ve seen it all folks 🤣

hakunnamatatamfs · 2020-09-09T06:15:55+00:00

I'd honestly be surprised at the flexibility and pimp him up In a circus or smth

MissVvvvv · 2020-09-09T06:00:33+00:00

Ummm... personal stimulation (read masturbation) is totally natural. You better bet if I could lick myself I would. This is not depraved. Anal is depraved. Rape fantasies are depraved. Pushing your partner to engage in group sex is depraved. Bdsm is depraved. I won't go on... but masturbation is not depraved.

talklistentalk · 2020-09-09T07:28:36+00:00

I used to tell men "Go suck yourself and swallow" all the time. Several of them said , "Man, if I could..."

ExEpheris · 2020-09-09T02:19:41+00:00

I don’t really see a problem with this. Like, it’s a shock to be sure, but it’s not that much worse than catching them masturbating.

Wait__No__What · 2020-09-09T01:14:29+00:00

My son and I just had an entertaining conversation about this post. He said it could have been worse, and I said if you're a dude with a dick in your mouth, even if it's your own, you're gay as fuck.

Then I said let's never speak of it again.

You know how when you make pancakes the first one never turns out right? But the next pancake is beautiful, symmetrical and golden brown? I feel like the same thing happened when God made men.

I'm beginning to think that most men are gay and just haven't come to terms with it yet.

chocolatechipbiscuit · 2020-09-09T07:30:30+00:00

What did i just read

Cat_With_The_Fur · 2020-09-09T04:59:26+00:00

I’m grossed out and simultaneously need to know more facts like where...how??

MagnoliaMirage · 2020-09-09T21:32:13+00:00

Guys are so gay... Like, idk you have to not be as straight to be doing that.

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-09-09T03:16:59+00:00

Lol good that means I wouldn't have to do it. But serious question, would this make dude gay? It's his own dick but he still sucking a dick...

enchantedglow · 2020-09-10T19:17:17+00:00

This is so effing weird. I would be scarred from seeing that in person. I'm pretty sure incels do this because they can't get women. I remember reading about one. I would definitely divorce. He has to be deprived or depraved (probably both) to do that 🤢

dazzle158 · 2020-09-09T04:33:49+00:00

Is this Marilyn Manson? 😂

ScallionOk958 · 2020-09-09T17:47:09+00:00

When she finally does come home, he’ll accuse her of judging him, complain that he couldn’t relax all evening because of her, and he’ll probably cry about it. He’ll also tell her he’s never had the urge to do this before and it’s the first time this ever happened.

Girl is probably leaving out that he was watching his favorite porn star rapist Ron Jeremey do the same on the screen across from him

OrchidLion · 2020-09-09T03:15:23+00:00

LOL EWWWWWWWWWW I HAD A VISCERAL REACTION TO THIS DIVORCE HIM IMMEDIATELY

LittleBitchyBanana · 2020-09-09T07:24:51+00:00

Divorce. 🙃

NowTruly · 2020-09-09T05:13:04+00:00

“how to talk to him”? I’d never be able to stop wondering if that was dickbreath I was smelling.
Never. NEH. 👏. VER. 👏

I got secondhand nausea just reading this.

Title	What would you do if...
Author	lacyvulture
Upvotes	118
Comments	73
Date	September 8, 2020 11:58 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ip55z3/what_would_you_do_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-would-you-do-if.257349 https://theredarchive.com/post/257349

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