Men are increasingly drifting away from relationships, brutal jobs, and mainstream society in general. Is this due to their own choices, or choices that have been made for them? Kevin Fuchs interviews

sexyjeremypharoahwiz · 2014-12-10T20:34:53+00:00

The part about men speaking but no one listens really got to me.

My girlfriend condemns me for not opening up more, but whenever I try she says, "I'm not your therapist," or she tells me I should talk about this stuff with my friends/family, not her. She's even teased me about it before. It's not just her, though. I don't get to open up to anyone. If I try, I'm the wimpy sissy trying to talk about his feelings when I should man up and shut up.

Men suffer in silence because we have to, not because we want to.

flyingwolf · 2014-12-10T22:42:31+00:00

I watched a movie last night, it blew my wifes mind.

It was called "Knights of Badassdom". Funny as hell, campy as hell, but that's not the point, the point is one of the lines in the movie.

One of the female characters is bitching at her boyfriend. He has apparently spent the past couple of years hanging out with his multi millionaire friend, drinking, playing D&D, having fun and writing music.

She makes the following statement.

"You are smart, you can do anything you want to do"

To which he responds "This is what I want to do".

To which my wife laughs and says "you got told bitch".

I looked at her and just stared for a minute, she asked me what was up and I paused the movie and explained that for years she has been hounding me get a better job etc, I love my job, I don't like the pay, its half of what I should be making, easily. But I love my job. The only thing I would do different is run my own business but I am stuck right now, but I digress.

Anyway, she gets on me about this about once a month or so, and I tell her I love my job.

It was like a light switch, she realised she has been saying this shit to me for years. And because she was saying it she didn't catch it, but once she heard it being said to a person she agreed with, she instantly realised how stupid it was.

Then we finished watching the movie.

uberalles2 · 2014-12-10T20:58:36+00:00

My wife spends money foolishly, when I confronted her, and asked her to be more frugal it didn't help.

So, I just stopped going for bonuses and working any more than 40 hours a week. Why should I. What I make usually just goes out the window. In a way I'm on strike and also don't care to improve my skills too much along with it.

Maybe the problem lies with me, not having the balls to take control of the finances. I'm just too lazy to take on that mundane work.

Electroverted · 2014-12-10T18:49:59+00:00

Haven't read the article yet, but in regards to brutal jobs:

Unions used to protect blue collar workers from dangerous conditions and keep them above the curve financially
Both politicians, corporations and corrupt union leaders are chipping away at the strength of the union
Now those blue collar jobs are still dangerous, pay less (why are admin jobs that favor women paying more than labor jobs that favor men?) and there are so many powerful forces out there trying to deregulate all the things about it that help men sleep soundly at night

...Who would want to do that job now?

s_w_ · 2014-12-10T21:12:25+00:00

A lot of what was written really does hit home with me. The whole stop crying or man up definitely holds true. I've been in some terrible situations (In the navy especially) and just because I am a male I was told too quit crying or man up.

I wouldn't even be complaining. I would be assigned to work with some people and every single person would disappear except me. I would find someone and ask where everyone went. I didn't mind working, I just didn't want to do all of it. And people would say, Toughen the fuck up!, Man up!, or Quit crying!

Then females who just didn't want to work would literally complain and then just be handed some easy non physical work related job.

I've put having kids and a relationship with a woman on hold just because I don't want it to get in the way. I don't want to accidentally have children, or get myself into a mess with a woman that will mess up my plans. Because women have a lot of power in our society. And it scares me. I'd rather wait and find one I can truly trust and count on but only after I get where I want to be.

She talks about why we're quiet and the go with the flow mentality. I've developed that because I've seen women get away with a lot of terrible things and me as an individual couldn't do anything. I'd bring it up, let someone know, or inform the group.. But it always got swept away by the majority. No one cares that one guy has a problem. If only one person is saying something and the rest aren't no one cares. The entire group has to stand up and say that isn't a proper thing to do or way to behave. There were even other males who enabled women to act poorly in certain situations. So I just gave up. White knights just asking me why I cared in situations.

i was one of four supervisors and a female was testing what she could get away with. I tried to put a stop to it while another male supervisor says, Why do you even care? Right in front of her. He then couldn't figure out why she never did what she was supposed to when he asked.

ckern92 · 2014-12-10T21:55:31+00:00

I'm nearing the "engagement mark" with my girlfriend. You guys are freaking me the hell out.

Edit: Well this escalated quickly. Honestly, I was just kidding but I really can't believe the cynicism here. I understand this is men's rights; but shit, guys! Not every woman on the planet is a soul-sucking, money-grubbing whore. My girlfriend is university educated with a job and is actually super anti-feminism. I think I'll be fine. Thanks for the concern, though!

spriggig · 2014-12-10T21:36:02+00:00

Since my divorce four years ago, I've dropped out of relationships. I've tried to imagine what it would take to try again, and I don't think any woman could or should accept my terms.

timeslider · 2014-12-11T02:13:47+00:00

I think my dad fits this situation. He was a hard worker and made pretty good money until he realized my mom was so untrustworthy. I'm on mobile so I'll keep this brief. She'd nickel and dime him every chance she'd get. So he got tired of it. He started doing odd jobs to make just enough money to get by. Eventually he stopped working for long periods of time just to piss her off and force her to work more. And I don't blame him.

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HappyGerbil88 · 2014-12-11T05:00:39+00:00

From a practical standpoint, the only option for a man who wants a relationship is to adhere to sexist gender roles. Very, very few women see men as equals when it comes to dating, almost every woman I know still expects men to take all of the initiative. So "men drifting away from relationships" could just as easily be "men rejecting the sexist expectations that women continue to place on us"

Brutal jobs? Same story, women have never been expected to take brutal jobs. Men did it because we had to, and now a lot of men don't feel like taking shitty, dangerous jobs just so women can talk about how privileged we are.

Mainstream society tells men that we contribute nothing and are responsible for every bad thing happening in the world.

Men are drifting away from these things because men are finally standing up for themselves as human beings.

James_Duggan · 2014-12-10T18:47:16+00:00

Good article. Thumbs up.

wlxr · 2014-12-11T00:29:12+00:00

Single my entire life by choice currently 27. Dont see a relationship in the near future. All the time in the world to do what I want.

Phototoxin · 2014-12-11T02:02:53+00:00

It sounds horrible but I do sometimes wonder how different my life would be if my wife disappeared. I love my wife, however it also means I can't just go 'walkabout'

xVoluntasx · 2014-12-11T03:08:21+00:00

Decisions are made for men, about men, and because of men every day whether they like it or not. That's the horrible part of reality today.

It's tough to deal with people who live and breathe expectations set for them by their own peers.

A lot of the time the common thought in my mind is to just fuck off and disappear somewhere. It shouldn't be, but the mind drifts there.

Meto1183 · 2014-12-10T22:38:26+00:00

My cousin recently turned 30. I saw him at thanksgiving, the happiest he has ever been. I mean, he was the life of the family. Always had something great to say and everyone wanted to talk to him and just all around a great guy. 5 years ago, his last LTR ended with a girl he really liked. He was wrecked and distraught, and had some serious hard times. He finally managed to get a good job that he enjoys ~1.5 years ago, and as far as anyone can tell he's taken the route of not bothering with relationships.

I'm really happy for the guy, but it kind of hurts. He's my oldest cousin, and I'd always pictured everyone being married by the time they're 30, and settling down and finding happiness that way. It's become a kind of mental struggle for me, knowing that with my current track record I'm not likely to find the girl that works for me. I have to change my expectations and just be happy, but I'm a little scared of having to write off an entire life of possibilities.

Duthos · 2014-12-10T20:58:52+00:00

Good gods, I've done thi without realizing. It sure hasn't made me happy, though.

ld2gj · 2014-12-11T00:50:26+00:00

So the FemNazis hate her.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2014-12-11T13:18:20+00:00

I think it's the same reason women drift away from dangerous/hard/nonrewarding careers. If there is no benefit to it why waste your life on that?

Work your entire youth away, get married, have kids and what? Lose everything you worked for in a divorce, including your kids. Lose your career casually because they ship the job to India. And you're left with nothing but a life that's almost over and full if regrets.

Men are still expected to full the traditional selfless provider role but are granted none of the traditional benefits to offset the sacrifices. So more and more it's simply a losing game. So men are rejecting it.

Which means either women will need to work much mite to compensate or our standard of living will drop.

LOLunlucky · 2014-12-11T16:52:39+00:00

29 year old lawyer here. Every one of my friends is either in a very serious relationship or married. I have to say that my perception is that not a single one is as happy overall as I am. ALL the married ones are in the process of divorce or miserable, and the rest are on such short chains they act more like slaves than partners.

If you are single you have a super power that most don't; the ability to do whatever the fuck you want whenever the fuck you want. The amount of freedom I have is something I've come to cherish- I doubt I could ever trade that for even the most perfect woman.

RhEEziE · 2014-12-11T05:13:28+00:00

I'm down for a F U stubborn strike of doing anything.

fullhalf · 2014-12-11T13:31:30+00:00

What is it in the feminist’s, the White Knight’s, and Uncle Tim’s brains that makes them get in rage as soon as MRA speak up?

this is the question that everyone should be asking. why is it that feminism is ok but mra is not? now, don't confuse this with white pride. white pride groups almost always have the ultimate goal of separatism. separatism is just a step above genocide. it's basically saying, we want to get rid of non whites but we can't so we would rather just use the law to separate them from us. this is why white pride groups are unacceptable. that is nothing like mra groups. other racial clubs get together so they can help each other coup with being minorities or find others with common interest. they never group together to say that they want to carve out a section of the country for their own people.

why is it that a group of guys can't get together peacefully to discuss the issues concerning modern men and their rights that pertain to family and society?

US_Ranger · 2014-12-11T02:45:44+00:00

ITT: A lot of people making excuses for why they're lazy, don't confront their significant other over things and why they never approach anyone.

This article doesn't fit the narrative of all your lives. A lot of you are trying to make it fit like a square block in a round hole.

major_lugo · 2014-12-11T02:59:40+00:00

I'm sorry, but this is fucking retarded.

Ok, boohoo, some of you dipshits ran away from your students loans.

But no. The vast majority of us got out of college and started supporting this country.

I got a degree, I got a job, I started a family. And I'm fucking happy. I love my family. I love my wife, and I love my girls. I wouldn't trade swimming on some shitty beach across the world for them. This is what I've wanted for a very long time. I have wanted a family. I have people that fucking love me.

If you are happy doing what you do, cool. But just because I support guys not getting fucked over a divorce, don't lump me in with you fucks that want to run off and not support the american dream.

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