Men’s appearance standards are basically impossible to meet up to.

63daddy · 2022-09-01T15:55:51+00:00

But according to that recent Psychology Today article, men are supposed change to meet women’s higher standards. “Higher” apparently applying to both the overall standard and literally to height.

MASTERoQUADEMAN · 2022-09-01T19:05:07+00:00

Honestly you could tell most women you’re 6’2” and they’ll believe it even if you’re 5’11”

Swimming_Spirit_1334 · 2022-09-01T16:29:21+00:00

Just have higher standards yourself.

guitarb26 · 2022-09-01T22:20:53+00:00

Hey guys, how you doin’

Just taking a second to point out that the egregious bullshittery & sheer hypocrisy of this in the face of the ‘body positivity’ movement is nothing short of miraculous.

Women will openly berate & humiliate men for being ‘(too) short’ but merely asking a woman how much she weighs is liable to get you hung, drawn & quartered.

And, of course, height is usually just one of the requirements.

Upsidedown_Sammie · 2022-09-01T22:45:17+00:00

Pfft. If you aren’t 6’2”, then hit the gym fat ass /s

Al_Modir · 2022-09-02T11:27:31+00:00

Women are on average far shallower and more materialistic than men are. These are all values I tried to shun my whole life because I was generally far more attracted to intellectually stimulating things than material possessions and eye candy. In choosing a partner I have always preferred those I could relate to on an intellectual level and looks were secondary. I grew up believing this was a noble way to relate to other people. The biggest mistake I made in my life was letting a conventionally good looking woman into my life who was dumb as shit who tried to convince me that her shallowness and narcissism was praiseworthy and that there was something wrong with me for not appreciating it and not wanting to meet her ridiculous standards. This was the kind of person who when we would go out would constantly be looking up and down at other women and complaining about how ugly they were. She would even become agitated when seeing slightly larger women in more revealing clothes in public and ridicule them saying why would they do that and make her uncomfortable. These were all behaviours I had never indulged in and was always made to believe it was associated with misogynistic men while I was growing up. But other than a few dickheads in highschool I never ever saw any other men behaving this horribly. At least not in my circles anyway. But this woman really opened my eyes. If women have issues with their body image and insecurities and whatever it’s completely self inflicted or inflicted by other women. Then they take it out on men. This woman never faces any social consequences for this kinda behaviour and is still welcome in “feminist” circles and social spaces and true like because no one would ever assume a woman would be so toxic but here we are… yet there are places she can go that I wouldn’t even be able to go simply for being a single male because being a single male is by default seen as being a predator. This woman was my biggest awakening to seeing the world for what it actually is.

DoctorStorm · 2022-09-01T21:48:27+00:00

I've got bad news for you buddy.

You can win the lottery, be tall, handsome, intelligent, well-educated, self-employed, financially stable+, come from good stock, kind, considerate, big dick, also swinging, charming, good with friends and family, loved by all, interested and supportive...

You're still just a swipe and an asset. Sorry.

I did win the lottery. I'm in no better position than you. Doesn't matter who you are, men are all in the same boat on this one. All of us.

Impossible to meet the standards, yes, correct, because there isn't a standard. There just isn't one. There's only a single, simple rule: Hook-up, soak-up, trade-up, repeat.

Now have at me, ladies. downvote away. I'll be enjoying my life not giving a damn about fake votes and decades-old feminist talking points. And neither will my wonderful Chinese wife.

WhereProgressIsMade · 2022-09-01T19:33:40+00:00

I view dating as if you're given a certain number of coins to spend on different attributes in a partner. The number of coins you get to spend is proportional to how much you bring to the table. How much each attribute costs depends on supply and demand.

Male height is in high demand and limited supply, therefore it is expensive. If a woman wants to spend every last one of her coins just to get the tallest man she can, that's her prerogative. Seems foolish to me, especially when things that actually help a ton for a stable long-term relationship can often be had for a relative bargain.

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2022-09-02T00:05:43+00:00

While I think it's natural for a woman to want a man who's at least an inch or two taller than her, I feel like this apparent trend of certain women rejecting all men below 6' tall is just one-upwomanship driven by the influence of both social media and traditional media, and not based on genuine biological instincts.

I don't recall this extreme heightism in the dating sphere existing even a decade ago. Indeed, in the mid-2000s, when social media was in its infancy and Myspace was King, my high school classmates would often post long answered questionnaires on their profiles, and I remember most girls answering the question of preferred height for a guy with "taller than me," not "at least 6 feet."

As for myself, I'm 35 years old, and I'm 5'7" (1.70 m), which I understand is supposed to be considered hopelessly short today, yet I feel like my height was treated as pretty normal when I was still on the market about 10 or 11 years ago. [EDIT: I also mistakenly believed I was 5'9", since that's what my dad said he was and we were the same height, and no one ever challenged me about it]. I was a late bloomer because I wasn't the most socially adroit, but I was never self-conscious about my height. Indeed, my genuinely short-statured brother (who has to be at least three inches shorter than me and was nicknamed "Hobbit" in high school) who has much better social instincts than I do never seemed to have a problem being in a relationship when he wanted to.

If it really were natural for women to only be attracted to man a head or so taller than them, then shouldn't sexual dimorphism in height have evolved to be much greater within a given ethnic group? Also, if it really were natural, one would also expect that men too would only want to be with women at least a head shorter than them, yet I don't think any man I know would turn down a woman because she's "only" 1" inch shorter than him rather than 6".

marks1995 · 2022-09-01T17:52:45+00:00

You spend too much time on the internet. You're confusing a preference with a standard.

As you said, 99% of men aren't 6'. That doesn't mean 99% of men are single.

There are women that would love a 6' tall guy. But the vast majority of them would gladly trade a few inches in height for someone with goals, confidence, grooming, good at sex, etc. All things you can control.

CawlinAlcarz · 2022-09-01T17:55:51+00:00

Allow a devil's advocate perspective for a moment here: Women have dealt with this issue for a long time.

With that said, bear in mind that these "standards" are not universal. Do not fall into the trap of believing that a bunch of tinder sluts actually define global standards for all males.

If you are worried that you are not tall enough to be appealing to some women, I PROMISE you that that there are plenty of good ones out there who don't really care how tall you are.

I want you to read what I'm about to type next VERY CAREFULLY, and I want you to think about it when you hear this shit about what women want...

DO NOT listen to what women SAY... PAY ATTENTION to what they DO.

Finally, most women are no better at gauging how tall 6' is than they are of estimating 10 inches vs. 6.

Also, and not for nothing, but the world (outside of the Netherlands) Is not built for people taller than 5'10". As a 6'3" tall man, please believe me when I tell you that.

GF1386 · 2022-09-01T22:04:50+00:00

Am I the only one who is tired of all this superficiality amongst the various genders? It's just exhausting. We need a different way of connecting. It dawned on me that Tinder might not want us to develop relationships. The revolving door generates revenue for them. It reminds me of social media generally. As long as we are arguing with each other, the various social platforms can make revenue from the perpetual emotional roller coaster so they can profile us to sell us more worthless trinkets and to help build Artificial Intelligence engines. We should all get off the Tinder merry go round, find someone who's "good enough" and learn to love that person.

Brandwein · 2022-09-01T18:44:10+00:00

Can't just paint yourself in front of a mirror for an hour, slap on a good tiktok filter and be a beautiful specimen of a manly gentleman? Pffft.

gckman915 · 2022-09-02T02:47:27+00:00

The average man is around 5’6”

There's no way that is true, at least not in my country. I'm 5'7" and am often the shortest dude in the room, anywhere.

mensmod · 2022-09-01T22:12:57+00:00

5'6" is pretty far off for the average height for men.

https://www.healthline.com/health/average-height-for-men#u-s-height

AsshollishAsshole · 2022-09-02T12:33:05+00:00

There is quite simple solution to this.
Do not bother yourself with shitty appearance standards and be your own person.
If someone judges you based on a factor that you cannot affect through your choices, that person clearly is not worth your time.

KickedSharf798 · 2022-09-02T12:38:39+00:00

There are girls with lower stantards

GrecoRomann · 2022-09-02T04:30:24+00:00

The way things are going just identify as 6’3

Throw_awayyerr · 2022-09-01T21:06:20+00:00

Na kings that’s when we book that flight where we are appreciated. (Mindful of those bad apples tho who just you cause of that passport)

KlingKong251 · 2022-09-02T03:30:21+00:00

Instead of worrying about the shit your can't change, why not focus on all the other things that you have control over and turn into the best version of yourself? I think the biggest thing that this generation of young men need to do is work on their mentality over anything else. Confidence goes a long way. If a woman rejects you over something superficial like height, is that really the woman you want to be with?

hottake_toothache · 2022-09-01T19:23:08+00:00

Men need to do better. /s

Alarmed-Call8569 · 2022-09-02T01:04:03+00:00

Lol. The average height isn't anywhere near 5"6. It's 5'10 in the US.

SnooLemons5609 · 2022-09-02T07:53:47+00:00

In personal experience - women don’t really care as long as you take care of- and know how to carry yourself.

I‘m 5,11 and dated women a head taller than me.

struebz · 2022-09-02T00:28:39+00:00

Average height in America is 5’9”. And average white American is 5’10”

lessnessmanwkrp · 2022-09-02T03:53:26+00:00

The average height for a man is 59, and I think it’s actually got up to maybe 510. At least that’s what I understood. 56 or 57 is definitely not the average height for men in the United States. In some places over in Scandinavia it’s a lot taller, and in some places like Asia it’s a lot shorter, so I guess it just depends where you are.

2022-09-02T07:31:04+00:00

The average man is not 5'6. Its around 5'8-5'9.

DetailApprehensive32 · 2022-09-02T06:23:39+00:00

Here is an insider confession from women. I’m 6’ and been told by lots and lots of women that they are not into short men (5ft something or less guys) when I asked a bit about their preference while we were dating or hooking up. I’ve personally never asked why because it just seems across, especially the hotter is the girl.

The ultimate hack is - work hard, make money, be successful. They will drool on you even if they are a 10. Don’t limit your structure to beauty. Success is more beautiful.

KrissKrossBoss5 · 2022-09-01T16:15:15+00:00

Average male height is 5'9.

And anyone between 5'7 and 6 feet can do fine with girls. If you think you're struggling only because of your height, there's a real good chance it's your attitude.

abc123xyz0 · 2022-09-02T00:58:15+00:00

it is only an issue

if you choose to play along as a man

if you ignore the none sense and do your own thing you brush past the idiotic noises coming out of their heads

most of the women who spew this kind of "I have standards" crap are filtering themselves out of your life: they are doing a huge favor to you

let them

Rancid_Garbage · 2022-09-02T07:10:44+00:00

I'm just here to tell any short dudes not to give up hope! When I was younger I very much had a "thing" for shorter men. There are definitely women out there that will appreciate you as you are!

Women's beauty standards can be equally depressing to think about, but I personally know a guy who absolutely can't stand dating a woman with big boobs. Thinks they're disgusting. XD

It'll likely take a little work and alot of luck to find your person, but there's always a chance! I'm rooting for you.

brownes_girl · 2022-09-02T01:00:10+00:00

Lady here, just dropped in to tell you, height doesn't matter if you treat us right. My boyfriend is barely taller than me and I don't care. He treats me with love and respect every day. I'm not an object, his mom or his maid. There are a million more important things than height. Focus on how you treat her and you'll be fine.

oneofamike · 2022-09-02T02:03:46+00:00

Also if you’re 6’+ you’re not likely to live beyond 70. I would rather have a long life than be tall in that case.

RecoveringCoomer · 2022-09-02T03:21:19+00:00

Go to Asia, you'll feel tall *lol*

saito200 · 2022-09-02T10:00:05+00:00

What is your point? Why do you want to meet this standard you talk about?

Boxisteph · 2022-09-11T13:44:24+00:00

Plenty of men have surgery to be taller.

Plenty of women have surgery to have bigger boobs on a small frame

Men and women have nose surgeries.

People want what they want, most of the times you can change yourself to fit that. I don't think we should but it can be done.

Uncle_Touchy1987 · 2022-09-02T00:15:01+00:00

I’ve had a lot of women say all their standards, and I’ve had a lot of women.

TheBigBootyTheory · 2022-09-02T03:34:45+00:00

A pretty face, a good hairline, and confidence. That's what women know I have from seeing me. I'm 5'6", but have been with a pornstar, a musician, an NFL cheerleader, etc... Imagine being a tall guy and losing out to a short guy. Pathetic, right? Imagine you're a tall guy and your wife/gf/whatever cheats on you with a short guy. Pathetic, right? Like, bro, you're taller than me and here I am, fucking your woman.

Women also love dominant men more than they love tall men.

Flare1235 · 2022-09-02T01:39:20+00:00

Standards for women are also impossible, just be against bs beauty standards in general

buppyu · 2022-09-01T18:49:21+00:00

It is impossible without the use of dangerous, illegal drugs. I'd say those are wildly unrealistic.

SuaveFuck · 2022-09-02T00:12:59+00:00

you guys complaining and whining about female standards keep ignoring and forgetting what the endgame with being with a woman is:

being legally stuck with a nagging vicious bitch that cheats on you on the side (because hey, some guy on the way to work exceeded you in her expectations - ITS NATURAL) and gets uglier with every year.

MilkStunning1608 · 2022-09-02T02:20:26+00:00

Just get shin implants

legend0102 · 2022-09-02T02:42:46+00:00

Is height really that important in the USA? In my country that standard was never brought up

ConverseVans · 2022-09-02T12:00:36+00:00

Remember how women were saying the same thing, like a generation ago? It's hard being a person in general. I feel like this is a thing where maybe we need to make sure we aren't being to critical and making sure we are looking for compatible partners instead of people who want arm candy, to stroke our own egos. The right person will give you a chance. Parentship isn't a competition ya know. If you don't meet someone's standards...they shouldn't date you, fuck you, kiss you, buy you ice cream, pet your dog, or just be in your life in the first place.

HonoraryHairyan · 2022-09-02T12:34:22+00:00

5'6? I'm no taller than 5'6 and I don't think that is close to the average height unless 5'10 was a lie...

Educational_Bet_6606 · 2022-09-03T07:40:35+00:00

I doubt the majority of people really care about height that much.

moonsheepftw · 2022-09-04T12:32:52+00:00

Don't forget the fitness standards that women demand. They see marvel movies and want guys ripped like that. What no one seems to know is that they dehydrate themselves and use a ton of drugs just to get that ripped, and it only lasts during filming lol

Of course here is me talking, being like 30 lb higher than my peak fitness lmao

It's almost like they lack any sort of introspection, they can't even figure out they don't really bring much to the table, usually it's lots of debt

Title	Men’s appearance standards are basically impossible to meet up to.
Author	NoCommunication5976
Upvotes	212
Comments	189
Date	September 1, 2022 3:43 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/x3aw24/mens_appearance_standards_are_basically/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/mens-appearance-standards-are-basically-impossible.1130482 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130482

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