Now, there are instances where feeling slighted by one’s past is valid and cause for concern - ex. When you find them actively comparing you to previous partners in one way or another.

However, this is not what we’re talking about. This covers the larger umbrella of ‘hookup vs husband material’, ‘she has different rules for chad’, ‘other guys didn’t have to work for it, but I do’ and so on.

Stop comparing how someone treats you to their history. This isn’t even a question of “fairness” as people change as time goes on. Maybe in the past they used sex as a coping mechanism or they didn’t have the best sense of boundaries, or maybe even someone was looking for a more sexually driven connection, or hell, maybe they’re older and less ‘exited’ than they used to be and so on or even the connection they have with you is more slow building and based on compassionate love rather than passionate love, and the list goes on.

Point is, if someone isn’t thinking about their past or actively comparing you to their past partners, don’t compare yourself on their behalf. All you’re doing is self sabotaging out of your own insecurity by doing this - the only problem with these dynamics is the fact that you can’t make peace with the fact that people have pasts, and people have behaved differently in the past - their past existing isn’t about you being inferior, your view that you are inferior and are putting that on your partner is doing that, not the person’s past.