Do you generally heed the advice that your father (assuming he has your best interests at heart) gives when it comes to interacting with men? Why or why not?

Sorcha16 · 2024-11-04T08:29:08+00:00

My dad tried to frame it as looking out for myself. He didn't focus on the evil of men. He focused on how there are arseholes and predators. They come in all shapes and sizes and to look out for myself and my friends and to surround myself with people I trust and to always have a safety plan. So yeah I headed that advice.

oneblackcoffeeplease · 2024-11-04T08:36:15+00:00

Neither my mom nor my dad ever gave me dating advice, i also never asked...im thankful they werent involved in my love life, the only "rule" my mom imposed was that the guy i dated either had to have a job or went to school/uni

i always dated decent, kind men so there was never a need to intervene i guess

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-11-04T12:56:36+00:00

I never spoke to my father about boys sex and dating once in my life

-Blatherskite · 2024-11-04T13:17:57+00:00

Basically, he said 99% of guys who try to date me won't even like me. They just want to fuck and leave. Can't expect guys to be loyal, etc. But also my dad has called me a whore for getting used by a guy he introduced me to.

I don't even think he likes me, since he's told me the only reason my husband is still with me is because he's still in lust with me. I was like, "What?!?!" and then my dad said he can tell by the way my husband looks at me.

My dad is a womanizer to some extent and has always cheated on everyone he's been with.

thelajestic · 2024-11-04T08:20:46+00:00

I'm not sure my dad has ever really given me relationship advice, apart from to say that men are a bunch of scrotes and I should join a nunnery. I did not heed this advice.

I don't think he's in the best place to give relationship advice really, since he cheated on my mum then bounced around different girlfriends for years before marrying a woman he'd been friends with for a few decades. They were both alcoholics and had a destructive co-dependent relationship until her alcoholism killed her, which gave my dad enough of a wake up call to try sticking to healthier habits. He was single for a few years afterwards and is now having an affair with a married woman.

So although he never gave me the advice explicitly, I suppose my observation of his life taught me to steer clear of guys like him 😅 which has served me well in life.

Susiewoosiexyz · 2024-11-04T12:01:01+00:00

My father never gave me any advice about men. All of that came from my mother.

EulenWatcher · 2024-11-04T10:27:56+00:00

I don’t have a father to start with, so no advice from him here.

I have listened to my mother’s advice. It was mostly about the way you accept people to treat you and how you treat people. Prioritize character over finance or their family’s prestige. Take precautions, be responsible, be able to feed your kids if you ever have them etc.

Fab_Glam_Obsidiam · 2024-11-04T13:47:54+00:00

My actual father wasn't a good person, so no. But other father figures in my life, yes I'd say they gave good advice. My aunt and uncle have always had what I consider to be the model relationship for what I want: no kids, always going on little adventures, and make each other very happy.

RelativeYak7 · 2024-11-04T13:56:29+00:00

My dad told me men only want one thing and a man won't commit unless you fit the ideal of his dream woman. He was a cynical man, highly intelligent, didn't care about kids and only had them bc it would make my mom happy. Yes, his advice was excellent.

half_avocado33 · 2024-11-04T15:23:15+00:00

Back then, my father pushed me to date a guy i had 0 interest in instead of my now husband who i love.

The other guy had money, but i chose to build a life with my now husband and i made the best choice.

Different_Cress7369 · 2024-11-04T08:50:36+00:00

My father is one of the best men I know. He told me to look at the way a man treats his mother to get a good measure on his opinion of women, and look at how he treats service staff to understand what sort of a moral compass he has. Also, never trust a man who cheats at anything, because he’ll cheat on everything.

bluepvtstorm · 2024-11-04T12:29:04+00:00

My dad was amazing. He gave great advice because in his field of work he saw some of the worst that humanity had to offer as a social worker.

My dad’s rules have alway served me well.

Anyone who has a past of domestics violence, automatic no.
Any man who doesn’t have a relationship with their father, no.
Any man with pervasive long term mental health issues automatic no.
Any man with kids, no.
Any man who allows his mother too much influence no.
Men with no male friends, no.
Men with no car, no.
Men who are super impatient about everything, no.
Men who can’t cook, no.
Men who do any drugs, no.

The one time I didn’t pay attention to this list I paid for it dearly. My dad is gone now but I still follow this list. It’s a really good screening process for men that will match my value system.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-11-04T13:58:05+00:00

My father wouldn’t have given any advice coming from the perspective that girls are naive or vulnerable.

We had a houseful of kids all the time, they still do. There were always mixed groups of friends and neighbors around, and most of us played co-Ed sports since we were small.

I’ve always had male friends, brothers, and fosters brothers. Boys were never a mystery or a threat.

apresonly · 2024-11-04T15:10:36+00:00

Neither my dad nor my step dad has ever given me dating advice.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-11-04T18:23:32+00:00

Don't think my dad has ever given me any advice about men or dating. My mom's advice pretty much boiled down to "don't rely on men, you need to be able to take care of yourself" which, honestly, was pretty solid advice. I did find things in my dad that I thought were good traits that I wanted my partners to have, but he also has some traits that would be dealbreakers if I met someone who had them.

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Feisty-Saturn · 2024-11-04T14:59:37+00:00

My dad doesn’t really give me advice on men. And he’s a very pleasant man. Men I date shouldn’t worry about meeting my father, they should worry about meeting my mother.

rosesonthefloor · 2024-11-04T19:06:22+00:00

My dad has made a few jokes about “if he hurts you we’ll hurt him” but generally he’s just asked if I’m happy, and if I am he’s been supportive.

He’s always maintained that I’m smart and capable of figuring out what works for me, and that mistakes are learning opportunities and simply part of life. That you just move forward and take what works and leave what doesn’t. He didn’t necessarily provide dating-specific advice (I moved to another city for school at 18, which is when I started to date) but always made sure I understood that he was there for me whatever I needed, could call at any time, and that he believed in me and was proud of me in general.

I think I’ve really absorbed that life philosophy (that everything contributes to learning) and that anything can be overcome basically. He never had to “warn” me about “the predatory aspects of men” because he knew he raised an intelligent woman who had the ability to figure out her own relationships.

I know I must have spoken with him after breakups but never super in depth (I’ve always needed to figure stuff out on my own really) and his advice would have been on the same general theme of trusting me to figure out my path forward and knowing that I would be okay.

Maybe it’s because my parents raised me lol, but that kind of advice has only ever been what I really needed anyway.

rubymood · 2024-11-04T19:09:59+00:00

Regardless of how I feel about my stepfather, he always extended good advice. It's on me for choosing to ignore it haha. It's moreso me explaining what I'm going through at the moment and he responds with his thoughts and what he believes is good/bad. He has yet to be wrong.

My biological father is an interesting human who doesn't want me interacting or procreating with anyone non black, majorly homophobic (I'm bisexual), and would marry me off in his "religion" if he had the jurisdiction to. Don't listen to him much.

Werevulvi · 2024-11-04T22:06:20+00:00

My father hasn't given me a single piece of advice in regards to dating, as far I recall. Pretty sure the only serious conversations I've had with him have been about fixing computers. I just don't have that much of a connection with him. It's mostly just been my mother telling me what he's told her, which I know to take with a grain of salt. (My parents are still happily married and living together, fyi.)

The only one of my parents' who's ever had anything at all to say about my dating is my mother, and she doesn't want me to have kids, and wishes I was a lesbian. Oh and once she said I should never engage in oral sex. That was awkward. Safe to say, I don't take her advice in dating. She's so concerned about my safety that it's actually on an irrational level. I don't think she wants me to be anywhere near men if she could decide, because a rare few men can be dangerous. She's always been kinda overbearing like that, while dad has always been kinda in the background, seemingly agreeing to whatever mom thinks.

I do know that my dad is a little more on the conservative side of things though, and I guess I kinda get the vibes that he probably doesn't mind me dating men and doing whatever, as long as it's not something actually concerning or outrageous. He's only met my first boyfriend, as far I remember because shortly after that I moved out and my parents moved halfway across the country. And back then my dad was just being overly formal like he usually is with people from outside of the family, and I don't recall him having said anything about me dating that guy back then, or ever since. But then again that was a long time ago and my memory is a little fussy.

KikiYuyu · 2024-11-04T22:47:55+00:00

My father is not the best guy. Nothing horrific, but he was not a good father.

I would definitely consider any of his warnings about bad men because it takes one to know one.

I would not trust his advice on good men, because his judgment would be almost entirely based on their salary.

grasso86 · 2024-11-04T22:53:26+00:00

I dont think my dad gave much advice on that but he supported my decisions. He encouraged me to focus on myself rather than jump into relationships. My stepfather was a violent religious psychopath so I ignored any "advice" he tried to force on me about anything. He absolutely did not have my best interest.

badgersonice · 2024-11-04T23:52:44+00:00

Hmm followed all advice, then stopped following the bad advice.

The “good” was to be cautious and protect myself. Fine, reasonable, and definitely beneficial.

The bad advice was to just be patient and wait and a good man would definitely fall for me eventually. Yeah, that’s only the hot girls, dad. I tried that for way too long, failed consistently for years, then realized I had to be more proactive. Men didn’t have interest in pursuing a boring average looking girl like me.

HagathaKristy · 2024-11-05T08:13:54+00:00

Was never given advice from him and I would not have taken it

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