Has anyone here ever dated or been in a relationship with someone more educated than them?

Gravel_Roads · 2019-04-15T14:32:40+00:00

Hell yeah. My partner and I are pretty much homo Lady and the Tramp. He went to an Ivy League school and went on to work in white collar upper middle class, I went to art school, lived out of my car for a while and ended up a counselor at a homeless shelter. He has a gorgeous office made of glass, I spend a lot of my work time mopping up human piss.

We get along great - I'm very social/gregarious, so I make all his boring stuffy friends laugh, and he funds our road trips, which I in turn help him relax and enjoy.

We're in our 30's now, but he was a dorky 13 year old when we first met lol. I've been helping him have fun for almost 20 years, and he's been helping me find a purpose and stability for about as long.

(Edit: Whew, must have triggered someone by having a good relationship, for all the downvotes this one's getting - never change, incels.)

diffdedbed · 2019-04-15T14:58:30+00:00

Alternatively, has anyone ever dated or been in a relationship who was less educated than them?

.4% of the US has similar qualifications to me.

But thats education not intelligence, and while there is a correlation, its by no means definitive. My wife only has a BA but when I was in my doctorate program, she utterly destroyed everyone in things like general trivia and knowledge outside of the one field we were studying.

MANY highly educated people, as my one time mentor who had two doctorates and a masters, said, "Can't pour piss out of a boot." It always amused me as it seems such an odd American saying and he was from Western Europe. But anyways he's right, they are so focused they only know one subject and they are not often that intelligent but that diligent in that one subject.

Intelligence is what I'd never date below, at least not substantially. I could care less what degrees you have as I know how trivial getting them is if you are determined to take the time.

TheSuperStink · 2019-04-15T14:32:04+00:00

My fiancée has two undergrad degrees and a doctorate, and I have a PharmD. She is more educated.

My mother has a masters and my dad has a HS diploma.

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-04-15T14:39:51+00:00

My wife got her masters first and I got mine second.

If a girl finds this an important factor I would at least consider it a yellow flag. If you find this a problem that you're less educated than your SO throw a yellow flag down at your own feet and start figuring out why.

songofmelancholy · 2019-04-15T15:01:51+00:00

of course. and i was still smarter than all of them. education only means you graduated from some institution of higher learning and got a piece of paper proving you did.

unless he was a doctor or scientist, i usually knew more than they did. HELL, i once dated a guy who had a masters and was working for the space team for the US Navy and he literally didn't believe in sources. he told me that uncooked food is easier to digest (this is flat out wrong) and he demanded sources. so when i showed him sources his exact quote was "oh you believe in sources now?" it was the most frustrating debate i've ever had in my life.

poppy_blu · 2019-04-15T23:25:14+00:00

Dating men who didn’t go to college didn’t seem to work out to well for me. I was fine with it, they were not.

Which is why I LOL every time men here try claim hypergamy (the real one) is always women’s fault.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-04-15T14:39:52+00:00

i exclusively date uneducated men because i dont like faggots. by uneducated i mean 3 of the 4 men ive lived with wer h igh school drop outs and one had been kicked out of college for selling acid.

obviously the three before my husband didnt work out eventually but education levels played no role in this.

_Tumbleweed- · 2019-04-15T15:07:52+00:00

I had 2 masters degrees by 23 (literature/language and management). My boyfriend recently got his first degree at 24 (philosophy).

We both IQs between 130 - 140, so we’re a good match despite the gap in our education.

We have similar interests and good conversations. I feel intellectually stimulated by him.

I always joke that I’m officially smarter than him, but I’m not really smarter than him. He thinks I am though, and that’s all that matters.

He is a songwriter and is very emotional and creative, I don’t have a creative bone in my body.

sadomasochrist · 2019-04-15T15:28:05+00:00

GED : "I aint gettin' fucked the way I whanna to be fucked." Openly cheats on you.

Bachelor's : "I love you, but I'm not in love with you. We lost the spark." Branch Swings after laying the groundwork behind the scenes. May or may not have been already shagging someone else.

PHD : Has been meticulously setting the scene for your character assassination for the branch swing totally avoiding any need to even address the issue. May or may not have been already shagging someone else.

Smart women just do all the same shit but in smarter ways. I definitely thought a woman that punches at that level would operate more "logically" and I was right, but I missed the point.

Smart women are hyper logical but they're still irrational. So when there's problems, she's just dealing with those issues in more "logical" ways. So she'll be more duplicitous, more calculated etc. or if she's less shitty, she'll just be more deluded and neurotic in her thinking. That's where you get crazy bullshit like the "mental load" articles. Were women finally get men to do their bidding in the household and then find a new way to make that a bad thing.

A woman with a GED doesn't have the horsepower to come up with shit like that, so she'll just say "fuck you dishwasher boy" and that's that.

All in all, I feel that the less intelligent and socially skilled a woman is the closer you get to a woman's baseline. So there is something refreshing about women who are basic. Where you can run circles around them and observe their impulses and stripped down behavior.

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wingbark · 2019-04-15T14:26:01+00:00

I am now. She’s more educated. It hasn’t mattered, really.

lefactorybebe · 2019-04-15T14:34:37+00:00

I currently am, but like only technically. My boyfriend graduated college, I will graduate next semester. So like technically he has a higher level of education, but only for another few months!

My ex was less educated than me. He barely managed to get his GED, I graduated high school with an excellent GPA and was attending college when we broke up. It did not end well, but it was unrelated to his education.

abaxeron · 2019-04-15T14:54:51+00:00

Has anyone here ever dated or been in a relationship with someone more educated than them?

Yes, twice.

How did the relationship work out?

It didn't.

Alternatively, has anyone ever dated or been in a relationship who was less educated than them?

Yes.

How did that work out?

Wonderfully!

Male, mid-30s.

LifterofThings · 2019-04-15T15:27:44+00:00

I have a graduate degree, my SO dropped out of high school. He's very intelligent, just didn't really jive with the whole classroom learning model of edumacation.

I've never dated someone more educated than me.

Maybelowsmv · 2019-04-15T15:38:10+00:00

I don't think I'd count, but since I was a year older than my ex, I was in my first year of uni and he was in his second year of college. I don't think there was a difference. I think he's smarter than me, though lazy educationally

Ercole_ · 2019-04-15T16:00:38+00:00

Almost. She dropped out to run away with me. Smart enough to handle school and smart enough to avoid school. And I'm obviously an uneducated vagabond genius. It's worked out great.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-04-15T16:48:54+00:00

I have dated people both more and less educated than me. My ex-fiancé went to Berkeley and was rather snobby about it. But the relationship lasted 9 years, which is respectable as far as LTRs go. My current partner is slightly less educated and we've been together 6 years.

coratoad · 2019-04-15T19:14:43+00:00

I always dated men less educated than me. I don't think education matters as much as having the same middle class values.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2019-04-15T19:51:41+00:00

I am a Master's. My last partners have been PhDs or PhD candidates. It worked out perfectly.

I help my girlfriend with her PhD experiments, I proofread her paper manuscripts, she helps me with statistics and putting me in touch with researchers. We spend an hour today discussing her latest paper and it was a very stimulating conversation.

Popeman79 · 2019-04-15T20:28:49+00:00

I'm highly educated (several diplomas from famous universities), speak several languages, and I'm dating a girl who just finished high-school and she only speaks her mother tongue.

The fact is, it took me a long time to accept this difference. I split up with her for this reason, a few years back. I couldn't imagine not growing apart with such a difference. But the truth is, a big part of it is social programming: your family, friends, and yourself, start feeling like your partner should meet a list of requirements, most of which don't actually have much to do with the most important things. The truth is that my ltr makes me happy, and has everything that I actually look for.

Before that I dated a lot of smart, educated girls, and all I found is that their intelligence just fed their hamster further.

GrumpyOldHistoricist · 2019-04-15T22:14:25+00:00

I capped out at a high school diploma. And that was after five years. All of my serious partners have had a bachelor’s at the very least, and I’ve dated my fair share of women with Ph.Ds.

Works out just fine. I’m self-educated and more than smart enough to keep up. Plus, they get the rough tattooed guy fantasy without the room temperature IQ that usually accompanies the reality.

nonnimoose · 2019-04-15T23:15:54+00:00

I had more education than every guy I ever dated and, finally, the guy I married. Worked out fine.

Henchman20 · 2019-04-16T00:20:54+00:00

I'm usually the dumbass of the 2 so i feel good knowing 1 of us knows what we're doing 😂

[deleted] · 2019-04-16T00:32:47+00:00

I have a STEM Bachelor's I don't use anymore and my husband has business/finance Masters. Over the years he got sick of being beholden to IT people's descriptions of limitations and added CCNA and CCIE certs (whatever that acronym is, but I think it's right) so he didn't need to rely on translations from people. He speaks a few languages fluently, 2 from birth and one learned at school that's useful. Having said that he's allergic to tools, I've definitely picked up the handyman slack rofl.

I was primed and ready to use mine, but have an athletic and dance background. One of my former head coaches went all out opening his own business and called me up to join the fray. After going with my husband to see the place he was like fuck selling your soul to corporate America, do this forever! So I did for many years and was really happy doing it.

I think it turned out well because of our differences. We didn't have to fully understand what the other did to appreciate it or back off during critical time periods. Both worlds have their perks and variety is fun.

OfSpock · 2019-04-16T01:00:19+00:00

I have a Bachelor of Science and my husband is a mechanic.

couldbemage · 2019-04-16T03:27:45+00:00

Both. It didn't matter at all. Education is useful, but it doesn't have much effect on relationship stuff.

Willow-girl · 2019-04-16T03:50:40+00:00

Similar levels of intelligence is more important than education IMO.

DaphneDK42 · 2019-04-16T10:00:38+00:00

My first wife was a phd in European Ethnology. Second one a farm girl with little in the way of education. Didn't feel any different. People are people and education in general is overrated.

thisbeweird · 2019-04-16T16:59:37+00:00

I graduated from high school and joined the military. I wouldn’t say I’m dumb just never cared for school. My wife has two masters and is working on a third. She is a math whiz and her jeopardy skills are on point! She really is extremely intelligent but I like to think we even each other out. I just can’t debate topics with her without getting wrecked!

jonascf · 2019-04-16T21:15:52+00:00

I have some experience of being on both sides.

My longest relationship so far was with a girl that I met while she was doing her PhD in mathematics, when we met I had no university studies and wasn't even eligeble to apply for them. I got eligeble for higher education and took some courses during the course of our relationship but was still way behind her in academic achievements.

Did it bother me? It did during the early years of our relationship, I was deep in depression and had nothing going for me which made me very vulnerable to self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness. During our later years I had a lot more going for me and the difference in our careers didn't bother me much.

Today I'm in a relationship with two girls, one that has no higher education and isn't much into intellectual pursuits and one that is just about to start doing her Phd in Physics.

Today I don't think much about the differences in education between me and my partners. It does sometimes affect me is the fact that one of my girlfriends is way smarter than me (she's a Mensa member), but I'm learning to handle the insecurity it creates.

MisterJose · 2019-04-17T04:26:26+00:00

I'm realizing there's no way to say this without risking a trip to r/Iamverysmart, but...I just get used to people not being on my level most of the time. Sure, it would be absolutely fantastic to meet someone who was, and it does happen occasionally, but those are not all over the place. So, typically, I kind of have to just go with it and be polite and not let it show that we might not be intellectually in the same place. And I kind of just expect that to be the case when dating, or else I'm eliminating way too much of the dating pool. It's the same with guys and casual guy acquaintances as well, I just basically try to be friendly and not to be a dick about it.

doctor_trucks · 2019-04-17T17:58:44+00:00

I have an Ivy League PhD and my guy has a Bachelors from an (albeit very good) state school. It works fine.

rosacanina_ · 2019-04-21T19:21:06+00:00

No, that'd be hard. But doesn't matter anyway. As long as you're open minded and can think critically it'll be fine.

Title	Has anyone here ever dated or been in a relationship with someone more educated than them?
Author	Mystery_Tragic
Upvotes	10
Comments	95
Date	April 15, 2019 2:23 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bdgk6e/has_anyone_here_ever_dated_or_been_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/has-anyone-here-ever-dated-or-been-in-a.256209 https://theredarchive.com/post/256209

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