Is the gender war real?

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-02-16T16:41:56+00:00

No incl content.

MouthSandTeethTongue · 2023-02-16T02:02:50+00:00

It is, unfortunately, to a degree. Decades of loony beliefs about sexual dynamics gone unchecked.

DebateRoyal4525 · 2023-02-16T01:46:09+00:00

Your friends have the worst personalities on the planet?

Ok-Professional3832 · 2023-02-16T02:27:01+00:00

Personally, I like the red pill advice of not to listen to women when it comes to dating.

One persons creepy is another persons charming and often it comes down her level of attraction towards you anyway.

So, take this for what it’s worth. Quit listening to what women tell you about interactions they really aren’t a part of.

They’re doing their best to visualize this happening and it’s through a negative filter.

No offense but after reading this, I have formed a picture of what I imagine you to look and act like in the real world. It’s not necessarily positive. If women are picking up on the same cues, that is as much of a reason to tell you you’re being creepy as anything else.

It took a lot of trial and error for me to be where I am in the dating world, with successes and failures along the way.

I have definitely done things to show my interest that I cringe at now, but it’s okay, I learned from them and I understand myself better now later in life.

Repeating the same things and getting the same results is the definition of insanity.

The best advice I can give is ace. Ace stands for “allow a courteous exit”

If you’re rejected, don’t take it personally, and move on. If it’s someone you see on a regular basis, don’t be afraid to create some extra distance between the two of you after a rejection.

Explain that you want different things and it’s ok, but now that you’ve made your feelings known and they aren’t reciprocated, it changes things for you in how you choose to interact.

That doesn’t mean being dramatic or making someone uncomfortable after being rejected, but more indifferent.

I would advise that you keep your love interests out of the work place until you have a lot more experience in relationships, mutual sexual interest, and healthy friendships.

Again, allow a courteous exit and quit making things awkward at work.

There is an old hr saying that the difference between flirting and sexual harassment is your own level of attractiveness. It’s kind of true, so until you have a better grasp of someone else’s attraction towards you, just avoid it.

Once you get there, you’ll realize that there are plenty of women outside of the workplace to enjoy anyway and you’ll be seen as less creepy because of that understanding (which will probably increase desire)

Women can smell a man unfamiliar with other women a mile a way, and for many of them that is the definition of creepy….

DebateRoyal4525 · 2023-02-16T01:56:24+00:00

Honestly, irl I've met people so out of the loop from all the gender war discourse that they didn't even know who Harvey Weinstein was. That's kind of an exception, but Reddit's the other exception where they're super focused on pointless shit.

obviousredflag · 2023-02-16T11:31:38+00:00

She needed to throw away your gift because she needed to distance her self visibly from the thought that you think you are actually on her level and could get a date with her. You see daily how people get treated differently by how desirable and attractive they are viewed by other people. If she would date you or take your valentine's gift seriously, she would risk dropping in social standing and desirability. There is a lot on the line for her, and being mean to you is the lesser of two evils.

Do not approach or ask out women who are above your league, they will have to react with disgust and outrage, in order to save their social standing and view of themselves.

It works like with dating apps, where your own desirability is determined by who you swipe on and who swipes on you. Matching with a person with lower desirability ranking will decrease your own desirability ranking. She was trying to not have her desirability ranking reduced by not "matching" with you after you "liked her".

You seem to be (very) unattractive and also socially awkward or maladapted. Those are the key factors for appearing creepy, regardless of what you do, as long as women sense a sexual interest from you. If you can't change how attractive you are, i highly recommend to improve your social adaption. People can spot socially weird guys within seconds, because they are slightly off. This is a signal for not being predictable, because you don't follow social norms. Unpredictable + sexual interest = risk of threat.

Unpredictable + attractive + sexual interest = sometimes worth taking the risk

Unpredictable + unattractive + sexual interest = disgust and feeling threatened

The best way to become socially adapted and therefore predictable, is to have friends who are adapted and to spend lots of time with them. Most guys here who creep women the fuck out are also loners and don't have friends, or their friends are social rejects too.

Plutarcane · 2023-02-16T13:22:19+00:00

It's real...but like....way less real.

In real life, only like 20% or less of people care like this (can be higher in very left areas and lower in conservative).

Of those 20%, only like 25% of them are aggressively, brazenly that way.

So its there in parts of real life, but kinda under the surface and not anywhere near as intense

Cult_of_Chad · 2023-02-16T02:32:45+00:00

The sexes are are inherently at odds due to our mismatched reproductive interests. There's always been a gender war.

Safinated · 2023-02-16T02:00:03+00:00

No, it’s pretty much the same self interest it’s always been, but now women are able to express theirs

Also, your friends suck(ed)

Maleficent-Paint-343 · 2023-02-16T09:03:37+00:00

Women of Reddit are just a loud minority. Majority of women in the world aren't progressive, pro-feminist, childfree, unbothered to be alone for the rest of their lives, hate age gaps more than 2 years and don't instantly label men as creepy, mysoginist and extremely dangerous to be around.

The ones that operate here are just pure souls - likely to be obese, traditionally unattractive and lonely. You're not going to have people with a content, happy life spend every day of their lives bashing men on the Internet.

So don't worry about it. In real-life, the young, attractive and full of life women you'd want to date aren't going to become Queen Bees as Nikola Tesla once said.

Mr_Makak · 2023-02-16T14:37:50+00:00

"Creep" is simply a slur for "undesirable man" nowadays. Don't pay it any attention.

Similarily with the "entitled" and "owed" framings. It's just a rhetorical trick. A woman will act like an abusive asshole to her spouse and him meekly asking for the verbal abuse to end will be spun as "a manchild thinking he's entitled to silencing female voices" on TwoX

SDinAsia · 2023-02-16T04:01:15+00:00

Yeah, that's life man unfortunately. You need better guy friends who can build you up. Women are repelled by unattractive men, so taking advice from them is useless. Any small slip-up you make will be magnified 100x. Whereas, they break all their rules for an attractive man as you mentioned.

DryOutcome3407 · 2023-02-16T02:42:29+00:00

Cold war by now, will be really a war once genX start doing their thing and boomers die, will be a shitshow.

ta06012022 · 2023-02-16T03:04:35+00:00

BensonInFL · 2023-02-16T06:36:54+00:00

So much hostility on here.... is this real life? Or is this strictly an online extremist discourse type of deal?

Online is not only more extreme, but it usually misses the mark entirely, that's part of why its so fun and entertaining to read. It's like watching a typical reality tv show where they put all the angry and crazy people in the same room. Some examples...

Online, girls will tell you that approaching girls in coffee shops and grocery stores is harassment and try to shame you for it and get angry... but in real life, girls don't behave that way... some will give you their number, and the majority that don't will be polite about it

Online, girls will argue and tell you that there is no wall, and that they can find the same quality and quantity of men ten years younger, but in real life, 30+ dating coach clients are mostly women..

Online, guys will tell you how difficult it is to get matches and get dates, but in real life, its easier for guys to find what they are looking for (have sex with a girl), then it is for a girl to find what they are looking for (a monogamous relationship with a guy equal or greater value than themselves). Guys are putting in less effort into dates then ever before, there is less commitment (and social acceptance of fwb, etc.), greater hookup culture, etc.

Online, girls will try to shame guys that have large age gap relationships, but in real life, no one cares, and especially not the guys that manage to pull this off.

Online, guys will tell you how important body count for girls is, and a whole list of useless attributes, in real life they fall for pretty girls who happen to be hookers and strippers and justify it to themselves by saying "oh' she's different/special, etc.",

Online, girls will try to shame guys that aren't into constant and enthusiastic consent. In real life, girls absolutely hate this and makes them feel very uncomfortable because constantly asking "is this okay?" appears that the guy has no social awareness doesn't know whether he is turning the girl on... which in and of itself is a huge turn-off, and secondly continuing to verbally ask puts the girl on the spot and makes her feel that she is leading the interaction and is responsible and initiating everything... which is also a huge turn-off because they want the guy to lead and to feel like it happened spontaneously.. not transactionaly

Since this is online, I hope you have a chance to read this before it gets voted down :(

-B

TotalTravesty · 2023-02-16T03:16:33+00:00

The gender war is real to the absolute worst people in society. People with deep untreated personal problems that result in entertaining tiffs. Everyone else is getting along fine.

noafrochamplusamurai · 2023-02-16T01:52:04+00:00

Think of the gender war like moving to another country. You, and others that immigrated with you to the new country. You all don't speak the language, and that's an obstacle. For most of the people in the country, it's not because they grew up speaking it.

For most of us, it's not really a big deal. For the smaller group of people that aren't getting traction. It's very much a big deal

2023-02-16T02:35:13+00:00

Every men is a creep. Nothing to worry about.

throwaway164_3 · 2023-02-16T03:44:00+00:00

Hey dude, I would recommend you log off Reddit and the internet.

You need to hit the gym and get muscular, make an online dating profile, learn how to agree and amplify when flirting (google it), plan dates involving alcohol, and be very forward and touchy/feely on dates and push for sex asap.

Women will let you know if they’re uncomfortable and when to back off. But as a man, you need to be the one who takes the initiative. Don’t worry too much about offending women with jokes/humor, you can’t please everyone, but I guarantee you WILL get laid.

Life isn’t fair, and in my opinion, you’re giving too much consideration to what feminists and bluepillers say. IMO, they say things to virtue signal and feel morally smug and better about themselves. Paying attention to them won’t help you get laid.

Just log off, hit the gym and have fun. Best of luck

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-02-16T05:13:49+00:00

you’re the problem

This ultimately is the key. You’re responsible. For your outcomes. So if it’s being rejected on Valentine’s Day, or not knowing your job when you’re put on the spot, there’s only one person responsible. Which is the first thing TRP encourages; being self aware.

Godspeed and good luck!

New_Relative_8709 · 2023-02-16T02:22:37+00:00

You need to fix the “making friends” part before getting a GF

gymbro718nyc2 · 2023-02-16T03:17:23+00:00

The gender wars are not real at all. But you need to go for what you want. If you are expecting a naked girl to materialize in your bedroom out of thin air you will have to wait a damn long time.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-02-16T14:22:08+00:00

The gender war is fought by the few left on both sides that the majority don’t want to really fuck in the first place. It’s a distraction online while their roommates and friends go out and meet people and date.

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2023-02-16T03:38:14+00:00

Ah, the "if women don't like assholes why do women like my shitty friends" question.

Have you ever asked yourself why you like/d your shitty friends and work backwards from there?

Maybe there isn't a gender wars issue so much as a backbone issue for everyone involved.

sivarias · 2023-02-16T14:57:40+00:00

I'm not reading the whole thing.

Ingot halfway through and realized you just have a lot of issues. Lack of confidence, self loathing, and inability to understand that people don't see things you do or the way you do.

Figure out how to deal with your anxiety, talk to more people, and learn that blue collar work, ribbing is a part of comraderie, and if they didn't like you, they wouldn't do it.

They are trying to help you with women. Fucking ask.

gate18 · 2023-02-16T02:09:00+00:00

The title has little to do with the description

My advice: There are no men, there are no women, just individuals AND words like EVERYTHING is meaningless

I mean I noticed online every little thing is creepy, gross, misogynist.

Nope, not everything

Sex jokes are real. We see sex as taboo, hence the stupid jokes.

They absolutely shame me for never kissing a girl, laughing at me, every little thing to them is an immature joke. They have the worst personalities on the planet. Yet, women love em. Women constantly blow up their phones non stop. They rub it in my face.

I don't know your friend but the bits I bolded aren't true at all.

And "women don't owe you that!" Like a chant or something.

Why were you a spectator at a chant?

Also don't pull the "uhm don't date women at work sooo creepy!!!" I've had freinds who were women, who said this to me at jobs I had, then they went and had hook up sex with the hot new guy. They break their own rules when he's hot enough. They'd even tell me, "omg I had a ONS with him last weekend!"

Everyone does that. You go to a club "I'm going to have fun, no time for girls/boys" and you see a hot person and boom. You go window shopping and boom you buy shit. Normal.

She even told me she's glad that I talk to her.

But the women of reddit had much darker ideas.

"You're a creep, that's so creepy! Nobody owes you anything!"

You are definitely not telling the full story. A feminist like me will come to their own conclusion by reading those lines, and a misogynist will come to their own conclusion, but you didn't say anything to justify my conclusion or their's.

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Capeninja · 2023-02-16T03:25:47+00:00

Reads more like the genders waging war on us.

Every part of the OP made me seethe, I only know three people with such a brazen lack of empathy and tact and they're all relatives I try best to avoid, if people in my actual social life treated me like that I'd be as bitter as someone in those public freakout videos.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-02-16T03:42:47+00:00

PPD is not a representative sample. But does it exaggerate fringe dynamics and views, or is it on the leading edge and like the canary in the coalmine? Hard to say. Maybe a little of both.

If there isn't a gender war, it may be brewing. It is also possible we are just witnessing the ascent of women, who are in some ways biologically advantaged in the modern environment, as men were in other environments. There will be friction along the way, and maybe some shots fired. But in the end what will be will be. Women will come to predominate in society, and we will adapt. Perhaps in time a society where women have more net influence than men will be better overall.

bodaciousbonsai · 2023-02-16T04:12:14+00:00

I read your whole post and I'm sorry to hear that you've had a rough go of things.

One overarching theme is that you care far too much about what other people think. Boys are making fun of you? Throw the burn right back at them. The woman you're romantically interested in wants to just be friends? "Sorry, that's not what I'm looking for."

It sucks that life isn't fair, that it's hard, that most people will not understand your struggle, but deep down we're all struggling with something. You're in the company of the only people we got - us dumbass humans.

Good luck brother

MarBitt · 2023-02-16T05:38:03+00:00

War? No.

For there to be a gender war, people would first have to be divided by gender. So everyone of the same gender would be your allies, everyone of the opposite gender your enemies. But that's not how it is in society.

Then, look, for example, at the pictures from the war in Ukraine. If there was a real gender war in the US, it would be much worse and bloodier, because there would be over a hundred million on each side, and almost everyone in the US has guns. Dozens, maybe hundreds of cities would have looked like Mariupol during the first year of the gender war if the war had lasted that long. There would be millions dead, tens of millions injured.

Compare that to what happened to you.

DaburuKiruDAYO · 2023-02-16T06:13:26+00:00

Honestly, those aren’t friends. They’re just being assholes. Humans are deeply affected by people they’re close with.

Otjeho · 2023-02-16T09:12:58+00:00

This just sounds like another self pity post. Dating hasn’t changed much in the past 10 year (in my experience)

PonderingPeaches · 2023-02-16T09:48:34+00:00

Smoogs2 · 2023-02-16T14:54:16+00:00

It really depends on who your friends are. Successful people in quality relationships don't tend to have gender war beliefs. They will recognize there is something amiss about gender dynamics today but it is kind of pushed to the background of their problems.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2023-02-16T16:01:00+00:00

There is a war between low value men and low value women, the ones I see the women always have 6 kids and fat and the men are poor and ugly and they are arguing all day because neither is cooperating or want to get it together and none of them are submitting and the men aren't spending money etc etc etc

Title	Is the gender war real?
Author	Alwaysaloneforever97
Upvotes	22
Comments	98
Date	February 16, 2023 1:42 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/113eqe6/is_the_gender_war_real/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-the-gender-war-real.1152496 https://theredarchive.com/post/1152496

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