Long term monogamy is (mostly) incompatible with modern life

xFallacyx69 · 2021-08-12T21:00:32+00:00

Maybe, but long term monogamy shows me who can function on a high level and who cant.

The lack of successful LTRs shows me more about the percentage of high functioning adults… looking at you, poly folks

AntifaSuperSwoledier · 2021-08-12T20:53:20+00:00

Single women are happier than married women, etc.

I think this may be because the article says "single and childless." Happiness measures plummet when people have kids, but married and cohabiting people score higher across all sorts of different life satisfaction measures. It's basically the childlessness explaining it.

Just as an example:

Again, here the answer appears to be yes. Married people appear to be healthier and live longer than those who are single, separated, divorced, or widowed. They have better mental health, fewer health conditions, and recover faster from illness.

https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-marriage-really-make-us-healthier-and-happier

relish5k · 2021-08-12T22:32:07+00:00

Monogamy isn't for everyone. Some (many) people feel stifled by the restriction of sexual fidelity. Others feel liberated by it.

If anything, reading about dating on PPD has got my super stoked about life long monogamy. Who wants to deal with dating? And cheating is just too much drama and too much work (in addition to extremely hurtful)

Orange_Paisley · 2021-08-12T23:05:29+00:00

It’s nice to have someone to come home to. It has been great having someone to weather out Covid with. It is of comfort to my partner that he has someone who gives a shit about his health issues. It’s nice for me to have someone handle car maintenance and nice for him that I’m a decent cook. It is a good thing to have a team mate against the world. If you don’t want that, though, it’s your choice. Nobody is forcing you to settle down and get married.

gkom1917 · 2021-08-13T00:01:31+00:00

bored by ...

This is how society will amuze itself to death. Life is mostly boring and constantly chasing excitement leads nowhere.

LowCreddit · 2021-08-12T21:07:18+00:00

I have children. I want them to grow up in the best possible conditions. That means marriage. Instead of focusing on raiding gushing grannies' panties, I also plan on investing in my grandchildren. Finding a woman who can understand these ideas is hard, but it is worth trying.

flowerwoven · 2021-08-12T21:44:50+00:00

Unless you want mental illnesses and broken families, you need to be monogamous.

sine120 · 2021-08-12T22:07:08+00:00

It seems your case here is more than because some women become bored in monogamous relationships and because your opinion of monogamy is that it's boring, it's somehow incompatible with 21st century couples? Aside from data indicating that married or cohabitating couple are happier, and happier people will marry, you're conflating anecdotes of a few unhappy women with all "modern" women, when in reality views and desires are all over the place. The examples you've picked from are likely fringe. Most men and women in long term monogamous relationships benefit from easier access to sex, increased protection from poverty, safety from STI's, improved ability to accumulate wealth, lack of jealousy or insecurity, and they produce less messed up kids should they have them. To most rational adults, monogamy and to a lesser extent serial monogamy seems to be the best fit for their lives, which is why the majority of people still choose it.

wtknight · 2021-08-12T23:31:46+00:00

If people continue to stay in love with each other, then I don't see why lifelong monogamy couldn't work. I think that the key is to be good friends too, because lifelong friendships are indeed possible. If couples stop being friends, though, then monogamy is a prison, I agree. But I don't think that there is anything in modern life that makes a lifelong friendship, and therefore a lifelong loving relationship, impossible.

Taipanshimshon · 2021-08-12T22:11:58+00:00

Do you Want your view changed ?

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-08-13T01:21:47+00:00

FOR GODS FUCKING SAKE STOP LINKING ESTHER PEREL

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-08-12T22:24:51+00:00

I don't know what "modern life" is but it doesn't have to consist of what everyone else is doing. Long term monogamy is as compatible is the individual person or couple wants it to be. Engaging in casual sex is just as much a choice as abstaining from sex completely is, and everything else in-between.

Being or becoming "bored" isn't restricted solely to sex or relationships. It's a general satisfaction with life, and that's not a relationship partner's job to fix. I think the issue is that too many women seek relationships to have someone else bring joy and excitement into their lives rather than being personally content with their own lives or with being alive.

superlurkage · 2021-08-13T06:01:44+00:00

Nope. Long term monogamy is incompatible with poverty, immaturity, substance abuse, mental illness (often stemming from abuse), and selfishness. Functional adults do fine with it, and it is economically efficient

EfficientComputer5 · 2021-08-13T06:17:58+00:00

If we simply genocide all the stupid people every bit of data and anecdote would say the complete opposite. There's a huge problem with the average person having no idea of how to treat their SO. Those people shouldn't be breeding, dating or allowed at the grocery store to buy food.

IHaveSalesQuestions · 2021-08-12T21:47:35+00:00

Can you just admit you’re trying to push an agenda and convince every one else to have your view so you can feel better about it?

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-08-12T21:52:19+00:00

Why not both? Worked great for me.

Loving wife who's my true life partner.

Side sex now and then with people in the same boat.

Kids get a normal life.

I get a normal life 99% of the time.

No one is mad or cheating.

TakeThePinkPill · 2021-08-12T22:59:05+00:00

The world is miserable and people are lonely. I love my boyfriend, he is husband material, and when the two of us make a life together, it's an upgrade on all counts. And when we have little people, there is a reliable family unit.

Best thing about modern times is no one can make u do ltr or get married. U can opt out. There are no chains, the door is wide open

The reality is mgtow and the like hate to see other men loved and fucked with enthusiasm and joy so they try to fool them into being low vibrational low output humans who are miserable and infect others like a germ.

Marriage is valuable to those who value it and it's as valid a choice as pretending to be a happy single man while spreading herpetic messages of misogyny in communities about dating.

Special-Armadillo-99 · 2021-08-12T22:24:15+00:00

Women are not happier single the only time that has been suggested was from a man trying to sell a book. Every survey that was from a reputable source that isn't tend to get money show married people of both genders are happier.

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SaBahRub · 2021-08-12T21:04:19+00:00

Only if it’s not voluntary

BadSpanglish2 · 2021-08-12T21:19:51+00:00

Why not the old fashioned model of having a wife but with mistresses / FWBs, but expanded to women too.

Avoids that complex web and the inherent jealousy that happens with 'poly' people but maintains marriage as an institution for children. Problem is i imagine wives will find getting some one the side far easier than their husbands.

CFinCanada · 2021-08-12T22:32:31+00:00

Monogamy is one of a suite of behaviours which are evolutionarily novel and easier for some folks than others. I don't see the utility of trying to force individuals into paradigms for which they are ill-suited. Nevertheless, I feel that the benefits of monogamy are self-evident.

hopeidontforget2021 · 2021-08-12T23:04:44+00:00

I think people shouldn't force themselves into certain lifestyles. That's the cause of most of our problems.

People who can't handle monogamy should stay out of it and I wish they were honest about it from the start.

Ladyofblades · 2021-08-13T02:21:14+00:00

People who get bored with monogamy either did not have solid expectations, did not do the due work required to maintain sexual connection and excitement, or married someone incompatible.

Kids kill the libido faster than any kind of boredom does

A little bit of stuff say like threesomes might be fun but poly and ENM also require more work.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-08-13T02:44:12+00:00

Why is monogamy to blame, and not the choice of partner?

girlindolor · 2021-08-14T04:13:43+00:00

It may be incompatible with you. For me it is what i want and i personally despise living a life of hedonism. But i know that's exactly what some people want. Plus middle aged men cheat more than their female peers, should've mentioned that too when you tried to prove that "women cheat" or why you would even mention that, but it was clearly out of dishonesty

Title	Long term monogamy is (mostly) incompatible with modern life
Author	ToughAnswers
Upvotes	0
Comments	210
Date	August 12, 2021 8:45 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/p38h6x/long_term_monogamy_is_mostly_incompatible_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/long-term-monogamy-is-mostly-incompatible-with.958652 https://theredarchive.com/post/958652

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