Men need to learn to let go.

ReasonConfident4541 · 2025-05-30T23:06:09+00:00

This is very very surface level lol. Men who beat up their gf for cheating Or pull out a gun in a road rage incident have much deeper problems It's not as simple as saying "men need to let go" 😂

VisceralSardonic · 2025-05-30T23:08:59+00:00

If this subreddit made a “no unfairly overgeneralizing an entire half of the population based on like two anecdotes” rule, the whole site would shut down.

harmonica2 · 2025-05-30T23:25:13+00:00

don't women hold onto things from when they are young as well though?

Slow-Narwhal486 · 2025-05-31T01:56:42+00:00

Holding grudges isn’t exclusive to men. Plenty of women hold grudges too. They may not kill or rape people over them as frequently, but that doesn’t mean women hold grudges any less

BrainMarshal · 2025-05-31T03:52:25+00:00

This is utter garbage because women don't let shit go. Why should they be held to different standards? Fuck that.

Dramatic_Survey_5743 · 2025-05-30T22:55:15+00:00

you arent as wise as you think you are.

RahLyt · 2025-05-31T02:32:09+00:00

I've thought a lot about this and I think I have a name for what's going on.

The male identity crisis.

I really believe this is the real issue going on. An identity crisis. The reason men struggle a lot more post break up is because men usually lose themselves in relationships in many ways women just don't.

Hetero relationships, are mostly men catering to women.

If you look at a average man and the average woman before and after a relationship I'll bet you the biggest difference in lifestyle will be from the guy.

Why is that? Happy wife, happy life.

As society we place more weight on women's emotions.

So a man is way more likely, to stop hanging out with friends if it bothers her, change behaviour if she's jealous, be her therapist, emotionally suppress, etc.

And if a woman has to do any of this that men do daily once, she will resent you.

Like I don't know of a single heterosexual relationship where the woman supports the man more emotionally.

Somehow emotional labour is a gendered word, to describe the infrequent times, women "have to" support their men in any way.

You switch genders and society calls it abuse.

Because 1. Protecting men's emotions is not seen as worth it. 2. Men's emotions are clearly being weaponised in (2025).

And that created a very weird dynamic where men who are not getting what they want, try harder just to still fail and resent, they leave the relationship feeling even more lost and with a lack of identity.

While women usually have enough time to tell a new story about the guy, (it doesn't have to be true, but it's very effective) and women don't change as much as men do, (ex. If a trip makes you uncomfortable society still encourages women to make the trip, the opposite you her feelings are still priority)

As a guy if you ever for any reason (lol) want to turn this around at women. Target a < 6Months relationship, I'd argue the opposite happens more likely.

For any other situation I feel like is the same issue, identity. Crash out is about proving to yourself you have value.

It's different with women, because we assume women have value by default. Female loser is not a concept in our society

Also women value is mostly narrative based. Women don't need to perform.

If you don't need to be funny, charismatic, if you're ok being just who you are, then you will have a stronger self of identity.

RayAP19 · 2025-05-30T23:38:25+00:00

You think "random beef" is the same as "childhood trauma"?

Flaky_Weakness2071 · 2025-05-31T03:22:02+00:00

The funny thing is is that an average man will never have a women pursue them. So just letting go won’t work unless your cool with never having a gf

Leinadro · 2025-05-31T01:08:16+00:00

Honestly I think the problem is men are always expected to let it go

EyesHaveHeard · 2025-05-31T01:55:48+00:00

American women constantly being let off is why they became so trashy

Few-Hovercraft1444 · 2025-05-31T02:20:47+00:00

That helped me a lot thank you for that

nategood8 · 2025-06-02T00:21:19+00:00

Thank you for this post man. Great reminder that I need to let more things go as a get older. Have a good week my man 💯

RealityCold4693 · 2025-05-31T11:53:05+00:00

Women need to let stuff go if I tried to talk to you and it doesn’t work out you shouldn’t mean the main conversation about me.

BandemicBuffering · 2025-05-31T00:14:49+00:00

So do women...

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flutterybuttery58 · 2025-06-01T11:09:02+00:00

I think this is a really important motto for everyone. No matter the gender.

Unfortunately when a man holds a grudge, doesn’t respect/understand “no”, it can cause real problems for women.

When as a woman says “no” to a man who doesn’t accept it, then things can end up really really bad for a woman.

Hurting a man’s feelings can end up in death, abuse, or SA for a woman. It’s rarely the same for men. Not saying it doesn’t happen, but much much more common that women are the victims.

Numerous-File7012 · 2025-06-02T18:42:20+00:00

Both genders hold onto trauma because we are the same species. Men are less likely to receive mental health treatment however due to stigma, and it’s needed to process a trauma and let it go. There are a lot of male counsellors and social workers nowadays who are focusing on men’s mental health, especially for younger men. It’s 100% worth investing in counselling if you’ve experienced trauma no matter your gender or age.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-05-31T17:15:17+00:00

I don’t believe most aggression is the result of grudges. Being aggressive is simply beneficial to men in some contexts, so men engage in it

Appropriate-Mango385 · 2025-05-30T23:13:35+00:00

Indeed. Some girl turns a guy down in highschool and fast forward ten years later we have to hear him on TikTok crying in his car about how feminism is the fall of western society and women shouldn't vote.

RareBasis9710 · 2025-05-30T22:54:18+00:00

This is great for staying out of trouble, and I agree it's healthiest to let go of anger. But where is the passion? The red meat savagery? A man shouldn't pursue a woman?

DGenerationMC · 2025-05-31T01:58:13+00:00

"Not a lot of people know what it feels like to be angry, in your bones. I mean, they understand, foster parents, everybody understands, for awhile. Then they want the angry little kid to do something he knows he can't do, move on. So after awhile they stop understanding. They send the angry kid to a boys home. I figured it out too late. You gotta learn to hide the anger, practice smiling in the mirror. It's like putting on a mask."

Title	Men need to learn to let go.
Author	ExcelsiorState718
Upvotes	10
Comments	155
Date	May 30, 2025 10:50 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1kzhxfs/men_need_to_learn_to_let_go/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-need-to-learn-to-let-go.1553535 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553535

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