Orgasm gap is just experience gap.

612King · 2026-05-29T03:52:36+00:00

Men definitely need to better educate themselves on pleasing women. But some women also don’t help the issue by faking orgasms as well.

Neptune-Jnr · 2026-05-29T02:51:39+00:00

The orgasm gap is a women have different bodies and aren't as easy to get off as men thing.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-05-29T01:38:26+00:00

My ex was a virgin when we got together and I came with him probably 85+% of the time. I’ve been with man whores who were 2 pump chumps and very selfish lovers. Experience is maybe a tiny tiny part of it. But it’s not something that is universal. Women’s orgasms are harder to achieve. Womens arousal is different than men’s. We need more than friction. A lot of men don’t show any initiative or desire to get a woman off. They don’t want to put in the extra effort. If their penis isn’t involved they don’t want to be involved. There’s a lot of guilt and embarrassment and shame associated with women’s sexual pleasure.

BlackTransMaam2 · 2026-05-29T02:14:22+00:00

Absolutely not. Premature ejaculation is a real problem for many people, premature orgasm for women is a rare dream.

procrast1natrix · 2026-05-29T01:24:34+00:00

I'd posit the opposite!

By the time a typical guy starts partnered sex, he's probably made himself ejaculate thousands, if not tens of thousands of times. He knows what pace and angle he needs, and the meme among the sex advice/sex therapy world is that if a man needs a circus clown with polished toenails, he knows and he's going to bring the outfit and nail varnish.

Many women, for complex reasons, never even try to masturbate before partner sex. Some of this is probably biology, men's bodies simply need to ejaculate and so the rate of wet dreams and everything is higher in men. But a lot of it is dumbass cultural stuff scaring young women into thinking that they may compromise their precious virginity if they explore. Add that to the Hollywood business where the couple finally fall into bed and even though she's a naive ingénue she orgasms almost as soon as he touches her. And yeah, the written erotica is just as bad.

Typically, men are aware of their kinks from a pretty early age, and women don't figure it out until later.

So women arrive at partner sex with much, much less of an idea of how to make it work. Then add shyness and "submissiveness" and poor communication in there, and it's just not set up for success.

Anatomically, it's also easier for a man to essentially masturbate in a woman's body, than the other way around. Not impossible the other way around, but more difficult.

...

It's very normal for women to have fewer orgasms with hookups and FWB. Most studies put hookups at around 10% and overall, twice the orgasm frequency inside a committed relationship as compared to casual sex.

purplejellyotter · 2026-05-29T01:34:25+00:00

No, its due to people being selfish and not giving a shit about their partners pleasure. It took you 10 sessions of mindlessly (selfishly) swinging your hips before you considered trying something else in an attempt to make it good for her. If you seriously thought just pumping away like that worked then you've watched too much porn.

Significant-Pack-714 · 2026-05-29T01:40:00+00:00

No. My first boyfriend was a few years older and had tons of experience. We were together 6 months and I thought he was great in bed at the time 🤪. I just figured I was one of those many women who never experienced orgasm from partnered sex. His favorite move was to wait till something actually started to feel good and then completely change pace and jackhammer, often in doggy.

I was with my ex for 7 years and he was a virgin. He was better than my first boyfriend almost immediately, within a few weeks . (A few weeks though was probably 25 times. We practiced a lot.)

The worst guys in bed are the ones who think they know what they are doing, and make lots of assumptions about what you will like. And guys who think porn is instructional.

As far as “wildly swinging your hips??” I dunno dude. If I cum during intercourse, it’s because I’m on top, setting the pace and doing most of the moving. It’s not a political statement or dominance or anything else, it’s just the mechanics . I judge how good a guy is in bed based on foreplay and oral skills tbh.

Major-Platypus2092 · 2026-05-29T01:04:33+00:00

In a way, sure. But it's also a gap of care, socialization, and the fact that we can just orgasm with a lot less time and effort.

ThatBitchA · 2026-05-29T01:38:14+00:00

Nah. It's a lack of caring about the other person having an enjoyable time.

Cracks me up though that this post is blaming women, once again, for daring to have and enjoy sex.

Essentially saying that if women didn't have so much sex they would be able to orgasm. 🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

So dumb.

It doesn't take any skill to know where the clit is.

Most_Vermicelli9722 · 2026-05-29T04:17:26+00:00

I only slept with one man, my husband. I still never had an orgasm and I think that sex sucks. I didn’t need to get more experience to think that.

Sex often isn’t really good.

Motosport_Titan · 2026-05-29T01:17:13+00:00

I disagree. I think the orgasm gap has to do more with selfishness gap, the rest is probably some women have harder time to orgasm.

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-05-29T01:27:30+00:00

You have to be fucking with us? Can women do anything without being blamed? Why cant men see how stigmatized women's sexuality is and stop bitching? Men have the responsibility to proactively speak up and make women feel comfortable.

Solondthewookiee · 2026-05-29T01:21:36+00:00

Women and men have the same amount of experience. That's how numbers work.

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Neverending_Danding · 2026-05-29T07:51:08+00:00

I'm a man with not very big sex experience, so i'm obviously the best person to talk about it /s

I believe, the "orgasm gap" has few causes.

Obviously, men just busting a nut and calling it end are one. but then i don't understand why women continue to have sex with them. Seems counter intuitive
Women don't want to communicate. For a gender, that is supposed to be better in communication, women can't (or won't) voice their wants and needs clearly. And when you point it out, you get "well i shouldn't have to tech grown man how to have sex!" - cool, enjoy your lack of orgasm then?
Women still don't want to explore their own sexuality. No, having double digits body count is not exploring your sexuality, because you will, most probably, be still orgasmless. Know your body, know your pace, learn your kinks, WATCH SOME PORN. It always makes me laugh, when women demonize porn, because "it's male-centric" or something, then they read some smutty books, where the thing that should make you turned on is guys height and status. I'm sorry, there aren't enough of 7ft, buff and super rich vampire CEOs for every woman, but there are absolutely enough regular dudes, who are willing to make your head spin, if only you let them.

I don't know much, i'm not really experienced, everything i know i learnt from porn, but it was enough to give every one of girl i have ever slept with multiple orgasms (unless they lied, but that would only be detriment to them)

Thethinker_0 · 2026-05-29T15:01:06+00:00

So if u want to be good at bed and earn u partner admiration u need to be a sex machine that have over 30 body count , I would rather to focuse on finding a good partner that have the same issue as me and maxing it , not calling the post writer a bad person it's he's choice but to me I am sacrificing a part of me doing something I feel I don't wanna do just to appear more appealing

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-05-29T16:22:38+00:00

Facts you have to consider about the orgasm gap:

It is far easier for the average man to achieve orgasm than the average woman.
Although it is very easy for a dude to fake a PIV orgasm if he's wearing a condom, for some reason, I don't think men fake orgasms nearly as much as women fake them.
A man can't exactly protest and "insist" on giving the woman an orgasm if she fakes one.
If a woman fakes an orgasm, the man loses the opportunity to learn what worked and what didn't.
Women have sex for a plethora of reasons, and "achieving orgasm" is low on the list for most.
Women (especially in hookup sex where the man is the pursuer and therefor the dominant party) are far more likely to frame the sexual experience around the man's fantasy: "success" in her mind is him getting off so much that he decides he wants more than a ONS. A woman agreeing to a ONS typically understands the arrangement and implications on a carnal/reptillian level and adjusts her strategy (consciously or subconsciously) accordingly.

Now let's look from an evidence based standpoint:

If experience were the primary explanation, we'd expect the orgasm gap to shrink dramatically as men accumulate partners. Since only a small percent of men are chosen for hookup sex (and they typically get very high body counts), we would expect to see HIGHER orgasm reports from casual sex. We definitely don't.

That suggests there is more going on than simply "men need more reps."

The reality is that female orgasm is generally less automatic, less visible, and more dependent on communication and feedback. And if the feedback being received is inaccurate or nonexistent, experience alone won't ever solve the problem.

sincerityappreciator · 2026-05-29T08:15:54+00:00

its just an entitlement gap, women tend to be incredibly arrogant and entitled. men work for their own orgasms, women generally speaking lie down and expect men to give orgasms to them without even attempting to communicate, in fact the idea of communicating their desires gives them the ick.

torytho · 2026-05-29T01:14:24+00:00

No, women do not have more sex than men. Have you tried asking her what she likes? You provide oral? Masturbate her? Most women don’t orgasm from just penetrative sex (bc biology, not experience). I’m glad you’re interested in getting your partner off; that’s a big green flag.

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-05-29T01:28:46+00:00

My husband has massively more experience than me... << and he's not getting me to the promised land every single time. His batting average is like 90%.

Being fair, 5% of that is hormonal or anxiety driven. Although, tbf, he likely wanted the sex and I likely didn't feel like turning him down because I fancy him so much and wax hopeful it might actually go well.

But that leaves 5% where I'll say it, I think he gets kind of lazy or overly excited and his ego is a little too involved to fully hear that it's not going all that good for me. And he kind of just wants to get it over with and not do the work.

Love him to pieces and he's a wonderful husband and lover. But if that's what I'm experiencing, I assume other women are being treated way way way worse.

And I think of all the dudes I didn’t fuck, and it's because their entire energy was selfish fuck you get mine or excited puppy. I don't think this is a skill gap. This is just basic human selfishness.

kmb218 · 2026-05-29T09:59:02+00:00

What? So women having sexual experience makes them less likely to orgasm? That sounds unlikely. More like the opposite. With more experience, she knows what she likes better.

Title	Orgasm gap is just experience gap.
Author	Automatic_Safety7029
Upvotes	7
Comments	71
Date	May 28, 2026 2:08 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1tq4qtb/orgasm_gap_is_just_experience_gap/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/orgasm-gap-is-just-experience-gap.1581533 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581533

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