Relationships are downplayed too often

Jetpine9 · 2026-06-08T20:17:47+00:00

I think even mediocre relationships can be great. People on the internet seem to view relationships as a Amazing/Horrible dichotomy. If you are an average person (or maybe a little below) you probably aren't going to find that perfect fit. You might have a few important things in common with someone, but not everything. If you can work it the right way, emphasizing strengths and minimizing weaknesses, that can still be great.

Puzzled-Degree-3478 · 2026-06-08T16:38:10+00:00

Former truecel, I'd say being in a relationship is definitely better than not being in one ofc but keep in mind all your problems aren't magically fixed. Its like one big hole in my heart got patched but now I have alot of little new ones eg: I spend most of my time indoors so I'm stupid frugal but now money is something I have to worry about for dates, you lose alot of free time (traveling to meet etc), and its harder to manage friendships.

To address your post despite being chopped chuzz my proactive seeking was just going to a club every friday instead of fucking off the second classes finished to grind games. Met a girl who I barely said a word to but we were split into teams and we all added each other on instagram, we said hi again months later in the club discord and after a ton of talking I asked her out on a date. I didn't even think she was into me I was just that bored but it worked lol

chamomilecloud · 2026-06-08T13:52:26+00:00

Good relationships do not just fall in your lap. You need to be proactive in seeking them out, or be proactive in setting yourself up so that your options have a higher chance in resulting in good relationships. Which means being deliberate about where and with whom you search for relationships, and being deliberate about vetting.

Everyone agrees that being in a good relationship is better than being alone. I have never experienced this in my life, where people say relationships are useless and that they aren’t special. I’m convinced this is some kind of cultural/social circles difference, because my entire social circles and community are filled with married couples who agree that being married is special. And they range from 23-36 years old.

ProbablyNotABot6 · 2026-06-08T19:04:23+00:00

I just know that the vast majority of the adults I've ever heard try to downplay relationships have never spent any significant amount of time being single since their early teens, when many people are single for obvious reasons. The rest are people who are single against their wishes who think that pretending that relationships are not desirable will make them eventually believe it, or just asexual.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2026-06-08T16:29:06+00:00

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Salt_Lie_1857 · 2026-06-09T02:41:06+00:00

We are here to be in relationships. That's how we learn reality. But there is a relationship with yourself as well.

EugeneCezanne · 2026-06-08T18:43:22+00:00

Seriously everyone In my corner tells me they aren’t special and are more harmful than good

I think this says more about your particular corner.

If anything, relationships might be a little overrated. We're practically raised from birth to believe that finding the right relationship is one of the top 3 most important things in life and that not doing it makes you a failure and weirdo.

Im in year 4 of my current relationship, BTW, so this is coming from a fan.

Thick-Indication6060 · 2026-06-08T23:04:12+00:00

For most people, the desire to find a loving partner and share life with someone is a natural and enduring aspiration. While there are many other meaningful sources of fulfillment, romantic relationships remain a central goal for much of humanity. The difficulty is that successful long term relationships generally require effort, personal development, and the cultivation of qualities such as communication, reliability, and emotional maturity. Many people focus on wanting a relationship without giving equal attention to becoming a good partner themselves.

Our society produces people who value low effort and shortcuts. People who aren't capable of breaking that programming struggle miserably and lash out. Thus you have incels femcels and other assorted weirdos online.

As much as we wish it to be true everyone ain't gonna make it and they're going to try and take others down with them.

toasterchild · 2026-06-08T13:52:59+00:00

25 percent or more of adults have avoidant attachment which makes them prone to feeling stressed out in a relationship. If you're not like them that's ok, it's better for you to not be like that.

Seeking someone you click with is a great plan really. If you're no longer in school just waiting to bump into someone doesn't really work anymore. Go seek your click.

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-06-08T15:55:41+00:00

I do recommend looking for a good relationship, but you should be looking for someone you click with because they are correct a bad relationship is worse than no relationship. And no, you don't have to like being single just because it's better than hell.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-06-08T17:45:28+00:00

Relationships and lack thereof make many people miserable, so i disagree

DMmeClownPics · 2026-06-09T01:46:14+00:00

It’s definitely better to be in a good relationship than alone, assuming that’s something you want. But proactively seeking said relationship has historically just led to me trying to force myself into a box I do not fit in. I was not proactively trying when I met my boyfriend, and neither was he. I was just trying to hang out with a friend from Discord who was in town for a few days who I thought was gay. As it turns out, he is not gay.

Adorable-Hedgehog-31 · 2026-06-09T12:44:24+00:00

Can’t say I agree. When I think back to the worst times of my existence, they all stemmed from being in a relationship.

mobjack · 2026-06-08T15:39:15+00:00

For me, a mediocre relationship is better than being alone too.

I rather be in a series of situationships than nothing at all. Going on dates and having sex is fun. A little bit of conflict spices things up.

What to avoid is abusive relationships.

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Dramatic_Gopher42069 · 2026-06-11T03:39:25+00:00

Nope, peace is priceless, just gotta make sure you exercise the social side of yourself so that company is never hard to get when you want it.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-06-08T14:05:31+00:00

Good relationship >being alone>bad relationship. What a good relationship is, is subjective. For all parties involved. If the relationship is good for one person but not for the other, the whole relationship isn’t good. Some people are able to compromise on more things than others. Some peoples priorities are different than others. Most People like to complain. Humans hardly ever talk about the normal healthy happy stuff that happens in their lives. They vent and bitch about the minority parts.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2026-06-08T14:23:45+00:00

A good relationship is better than being alone BUT being alone is wwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy better than being in a bad relationship.

I find it’s better to be safe than sorry and when it comes to relationships that is practiced by waiting for someone you click with and not accepting a relationship with any old body just to avoid being single. There are a lot worse things you can suffer when you’re in a relationship that goes sour than you can suffer when you’re single. I don’t understand what your rush is to get in a relationship. If it’s companionship get single friends and or a pet. Also why do you hate being alone? You are the freest you will ever be. Why aren’t you taking advantage of that?

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2026-06-08T14:14:59+00:00

Well, there is a nugget of truth and the things those people are telling you. I think many of us would agree that a bad relationship is worse than just being single. Unless you’re someone who enjoys conflict, bad relationships can be the most soul sucking horrible experiences of many people‘s lives. But good relationships do greatly improve your life, and I think many of us would agree that those relationship relationships are preferable to being single.

You’re absolutely right though. You have to be proactive. So what are you doing to be proactive?

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2026-06-08T14:30:13+00:00

You could find your soulmate and have the most fairytale romance in the world and it will still have problems. Life will wear you down. Each of your flaws will wear you down.

Newduuud · 2026-06-08T17:09:36+00:00

Romantic relationships don’t bring anything to the table that close friendships don’t, besides fucking.

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