[Q4ALL] What's the difference between a man looking to marry a "mother material" and a woman lokking to marry a "father material"?

theambivalentrooster · 2018-09-13T15:52:02+00:00

TRP thinks that a woman looking for a good father will marry a guy she’s not sexually attracted to for resources and starve him of sex either immediately or eventually.

toronto87 · 2018-09-13T16:27:38+00:00

A lot of the good parent signs are also "stable & competent person" signs, so I don't get the loser connotation. Whether or not a person chooses to have kids, having their shit together, being extroverted, displaying a high level of care for the things/people they're responsible for, and adaptable without high levels of stress are all great qualities. TRP isn't about commitment though, so looking down on it seems pretty average of them. Or they're people who commitment and family didn't work out for so all they see are glaring warning signs and danger ahead for everyone else. Personally (pre marriage and kids) the thought of kids was repulsive to me mostly because I dated entitled douchebags; so I don't entirely blame them if their view is colored by personal experience but it doesn't make them right.

BirdManBrrrr · 2018-09-13T16:24:44+00:00

Where do you get this shit from? You're deliberately constructing an oversimplified caricature of what RP thinks about fatherhood and what fatherhood qualities should be, along with conveniently ignoring there is widely differing opinion on the matter. It is not shocking to realize that some men actually do want kids, red pill or otherwise.

One doesn't need to be a beta cuck to be a good father, nor does being some doormat a woman can walk all over qualify him in the eyes of women to be a good father. It is quite possible for a man of decent stature with a healthy set of boundaries and his own life to live will be attractive to women and thus "father material"...a healthy mix of alpha and beta traits.

You know what really sucks for the kid? A distant, uninvolved, weak, and/or unmasculine father.

Who wins? The guy who gets what he wants, that's who wins. If others want to ridicule, so what, they're strangers on the internet and you don't need their approval to go have kids if that's what you want out of life.

edit- less pissy

flamingoinghome · 2018-09-13T16:09:43+00:00

Redpill guys tend to find being a lust object incredibly validating, and want women to view them as such. But they also hate "sluts", partly for ruining the narrative that they are a lust object because of their innate desirability, not because the woman happens to be lustful. Thus, the fantasy of the woman who hates sex except with him, aka "mother material."

They can't bear the thought that "the mother of their children" will be anything but hot to them, but for some reason can't imagine that a woman would factor that into the father of HER children. I have absolutely no idea what they think happens to "Chad" when he gets old--for all the dire warnings about women needing to get off "the cock carousel" before it's too late to settle down, surely Chad also needs to leave the, uh, clambake before he gets liver spots.

The rest is solipsism.

ATastefulNude · 2018-09-13T15:59:35+00:00

Redpill often pushes the narrative that marriage and fatherhood are traps for men and not worth the risk and effort. While this is certainly true for some people, statistics show that marrying a carefully selected woman and having children is just about the best thing a man can do for his own personal well-being and happiness. The same cannot be said for women. Marriage and children have either a neutral or negative impact on women's overall happiness and health.

Obviously not everyone dates with the goal of getting married and starting a family, but I find that men who are "dad material" are overall better partners in general. Traits like stability, patience, kindness, and service are all very desirable traits, in my opinion. Of course there's plenty of trps who consider anything other than selfish pursuits when it comes to romance is something to be avoided. It requires vulnerability, which is a scary thing to a lot of people.

When people who want to start families select partners who they believe are good mom/dad material, the winners are the children.

bigmfkr · 2018-09-13T19:17:34+00:00

Let's start with the basics. Men value sex, women value security/commitment. And not vice versa.

Men want to be desired as sexual mates, not as providers. Women want to be desired as marriage material, not as wet holes.

So, "father material" is an insult for a man, yes. Because it means that he's going to be valued as a security provider, not as a sexual mate.

On the other hand, "mother material" means that a woman is desirable as a part of a family - men are willing to give her security and commitment - what she values.

How is this so fucking difficult?

LivelyChartreuse · 2018-09-13T16:50:05+00:00

I think any woman would be offended if you just married her for mother material, not because you wanted anything to do with her. I think any man would be offended if you just married him for father material in the same way.

Both men and women want to be treated as individuals, not as means to an end.

wtknight · 2018-09-13T17:23:07+00:00

The ideal is that a woman wants the father to be both attractive and a good provider/father, a mix of alpha and beta. If the man is not attractive but a good father, the kids might be happy but she won’t really be.

azngirl7689 · 2018-09-13T16:07:54+00:00

Because RP men don't want to admit that they have the same patterns as the women they hate- AF/BB. It's laughable how in denial they are.

BadgerwithaPickaxe · 2018-09-13T17:06:19+00:00

I’ve been told that I’d be “father material” by a couple women and I’ve never taken that as any offense, nor do I think “father material” means beta cuck and “mother material” means housewife. I think maybe you’re taking the worse of each side and comparing it. Most aspects of a strong mother and father are the same and if the power dynamic is significantly one sided then you aren’t good parents.

SlimLovin · 2018-09-13T16:07:31+00:00

Personally, I'm very interested in being a father.

I've been told by nearly every woman I've dated that I'd be a damned good one. My own parents agree with that assessment.

If a woman was looking at me as "father material," and I believed we could make things work in the longterm, I'd consider it a pretty high compliment.

masculine_spirit · 2018-09-13T16:53:39+00:00

The red pill is a tribe of men that are free from the socially constructed idea that a men should be. Forcing them to look down upon those still controlled by social construction.

filamilano · 2018-09-13T22:32:33+00:00

Redpill paint it as a negative thing that a woman wants to marry a man who will be a good father (the "beta cuck")

Not sure if this is viewed as a negative. The negative part is that a woman won't just want to have sex with a good father type. A good deal of men fall into the category of guys who'd make a good father but not a good fuck buddy.

Guys want to be desired, I guess like women do. So they don't want to marry a woman who doesn't really rate them as desirable.

exit_sandman · 2018-09-14T09:18:48+00:00

Did the bluepillers start a wicker man cult or where does all the straw come from?

Whodunnit88 · 2018-09-13T16:00:53+00:00

The man is only a beta cuck if the wife treats him like shit and he just takes the disrespect with a grin. I'm pretty sure that not every marriage is like that.

largepaycheckaddict · 2018-09-13T16:41:39+00:00

Beta cucks make shitty fathers. For the sake of this post I’ll define the beta cuck here as a married man who’s kids are biologically his, but his marriage is sexless, his wife doesn’t respect him, could or could not be getting cheated on.

He raises his kids to think that this is normal acceptable behavior for a man to endure. So his son grows up expecting and perhaps even seeking out women who will behave like this toward him. Thinking that spineless ness = selflessness and doing what it takes to keep the family together.

This attitude will permeate through all sorts of avenues of his sons life. He will get bullied in school and amongst his friends because he sees his father as a doormat. He will get walked on at work and get manipulated by coworkers/bosses. He will get a less than stellar deal from the salesman. He will be what we casually call a “loser” in society which can lead to depression and a whole plethora of unfortunate problems that come from lack of assertiveness and self respect.

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Venicedreaming · 2018-09-13T23:10:33+00:00

Honestly, the problem with RP men is they go from one extreme to another. The usual story of self proclaim “beta”, be in a relationship, let himself go, stops sexual efforts and by that I mean staying in shape, do the dates cutesy shit for their wives/gf, have some self respect and maintain healthy boundaries. (official term is being “alpha”). Or they have whack dating filter and end up shacking, pining over weird hot chicks who treat them like crap. And then comes the AWALT song, when the pedestal is broken. Well okay, I will take it to another level and say all people are the same. Everyone wants an attractive/rich/funny partner and will probably trade up if opportunity presents. That’s why celebrities marriages never last, temptation is strong for both sides. But guess what, if you’re a decent and normal human being, and you shack up with another decent normal human being, chances are it will work out if you both treat each other right and be respectful of each other’s needs. At the end of the day, everyone should be looking for a potential partner and parent for their offspring, that’s what the whole dating process is all about. New age dating and hookup culture is toxic for everyone involved down to the family cornerstone

wobbleelbbow · 2018-09-14T12:02:56+00:00

Difference is that men would fuck both kinds of women and provide for both types. Women on the other hand will likelyjust give pity sex for father material and then dead bedroom. It's all about sex.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2018-09-15T04:27:38+00:00

Redpill paint it as a negative thing that a woman wants to marry a man who will be a good father (the "beta cuck") . They make it seem like they both lost by getting together.

More specifically, TRP argues that when a woman marries an non-attractive but conscientious, caring and stable man (the stereotypical "beta bucks"), the following will occur:

First, the woman will sacrifice her sexual fulfillment and thus she will ultimately find the marriage unfulfilling.

Second, the man is essentially being used since she doesn't really love him in the romantic sense. In addition, since women are the gatekeepers of sex, the man will end up getting a lot less sex than he wants.

Women marrying unattractive-but-stable-and-competent-and-conscientious men is a recipe for a passionless marriage that leaves both partners unfulfilled sexually, represents a high risk of divorce (something that men almost always get the worse deal out of), and ultimately boils down to a woman exploiting a man.

How is it different from when men want to marry someone who will be a good mother?

There's nothing inherently wrong with wanting a family. But you tell me; would a woman want to be thought of exclusively in terms of a means to start a family? How do you think a woman would react to "I don't find you hot, I just wanted offspring with you"? She'd be offended.

Its the same with men.

Whisper · 2018-09-15T07:41:40+00:00

Redpill paint it as a negative thing that a woman wants to marry a man who will be a good father

What?

washington_breadstix · 2018-09-13T17:44:58+00:00

The man will still be genuinely attracted to the "mother material" woman, but the woman looking to marry "father material" will very likely compromise sexual attraction to build a relationship with him.

atlantic68 · 2018-09-13T18:22:37+00:00

What man calls a woman mother material?

filamilano · 2018-09-13T17:32:56+00:00

Good fathers are boring. Good mothers aren't always boring. It's that simple.

Title	[Q4ALL] What's the difference between a man looking to marry a "mother material" and a woman lokking to marry a "father material"?
Author	filamilano
Upvotes	33
Comments	234
Date	September 13, 2018 3:45 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9fj3tb/q4all_whats_the_difference_between_a_man_looking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-whats-the-difference-between-a-man-looking.260847 https://theredarchive.com/post/260847

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