Real issues get dismissed as hate because people are biased

pie-mart · 2026-06-28T14:51:16+00:00

I think the issue i have with men here, is that when we express solitude in understanding of what its like to be lonely we are told we aren't able to comprehend their loneliness

Ie. I am wxpected to have empathy bit when I give it i am told basically to shut it because as a woman, I couldn't possibly understand the pain of no one wanting me. Even though as women, all of us, go through our very own brand of being unwanted by the opposite sex and by society in general.

I have talked to men about their loneliness and talked about my own. And they always. Without fail, dismiss my loneliness as not real since it isn't identical to theirs.

I am not saying all men do this or that this is the norm. But I don't want to give any empathy to anyone who refuses to accept it then dismiss all of my own suffering in the same breath

To those men in particular. Suffer then without our sympathy. Because you claim to want it then tell us "oh, you couldn't comprehend my suffering with your oh, so privileged life"

It is very dismissive and condescending and shows how they view women. As unfeeling, uncaring and simply unable to comprehend suffering and the feeling of being lonely.

I would love to care more about men's suffering if it was actually about reaching some point of care and understanding for them and them unto us

But a lot of these men want to be miserable and make sure they stay there

toasterchild · 2026-06-28T14:25:36+00:00

I would like more information on what you think being held accountable looks like. I see this mentioned all the time here but nobody ever says what they mean by it.

How do you see men being held accountable?

What do you think it would look like if women were held accountable?

Routine-Present-3676 · 2026-06-28T14:19:45+00:00

You say men get called out for it more often, because people are more likely to actually hear criticism that relates to them personally and let what doesn't pass over.

Your personal opinion is just that. I appreciate your perspective here, but it's leading with ego and validation-seeking, which are the very things you state to be problematic.

Those in glass houses shouldn't be so quick to cast stones, dude.

No-Rough-7390 · 2026-06-28T15:20:18+00:00

I do, but I think folks (primarily women and men raised as defective women) are increasingly incapable of hearing unflattering information without having an emotional reaction to it as opposed to simply taking the information for what it is.

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-06-28T15:26:41+00:00

I don't think men's issues get dismissed because people hate men. I think they're often dismissed because many of the loudest voices discussing them frame those issues through misogyny, especially within the current manosphere and Red Pill movements.

Most people, including most feminists, agree that men face real problems: loneliness, social isolation, rigid gender expectations, lack of emotional support, stigma around vulnerability, and inadequate mental health care. Many of the other issues men raise, such as pressure to be a provider, are largely class issues and would be significantly improved through stronger social safety nets, labor protections, and greater gender equality.

The disagreement usually isn't about whether the problem exists. It's about why the problem exists and what should be done about it.

When women talk about their issues, it can sometimes sound hateful to men. A large part of that is because men, particularly cishet men, often do not share or fully understand women's lived experiences. Men's experiences have historically been centered and treated as the default, so when men describe problems, society generally already accepts those problems as real. Women, by contrast, are still frequently required to prove their experiences before they are believed. Rape culture is a clear example. Women are still routinely told that what they experience isn't real or isn't systemic.

That doesn't mean men's issues are unimportant. Both men's and women's issues are valid. But some harms are more immediate, widespread, and systemic than others, and acknowledging that is not the same thing as dismissing men's struggles.

It would also help if the major figures in men's movements stopped framing problems as "women have too much power" or "women need to change for men." People understandably see that as misogyny. When men's issues are instead framed as problems created by social expectations placed on both men and women, people are often far more receptive.

I worked at a company where I presented as a man and most of my coworkers were women. When I discussed men's issues, including something as controversial as legal parental surrender, the reaction was almost always positive. Many women told me that if most men discussed these issues the way I did, they would be much more open to those policies. Their concern wasn't the issue itself. It was that, in their experience, many men approached it from a place of resentment toward women rather than fairness.

My experience has been that a large number of men's issues could be addressed if men were more willing to listen to women's perspectives and engage with those perspectives in good faith. Not because women are always right, but because solutions built without understanding half the population are unlikely to solve the problem.

chamomilecloud · 2026-06-28T14:45:02+00:00

What are the issues?

It's one thing to say you care about boys' dropping out of K-12 education and not receiving the educational support they need, which also means they are at a disadvantage when applying to college/uni. Or saying you care about mens' unjust prison sentencing, or disproportionate homelessness rates.

The problem is that men (here on this subreddit) will list off completely valid concerns, and then tack on, "Women will not have sex with us, they are hypergamous and only want Chad, and this is an issue that needs to be fixed."

A man not getting his dick wet is not a societal issue. The other stuff is.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2026-06-28T14:16:16+00:00

In Afghanistan, women are not allowed to speak to their friends in public.

You’re oppressed because women don’t swipe right on dating apps?

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-06-28T14:39:29+00:00

I'm only interested in what they are saying is true, fair, and solvable realistically without harming others. Why they say something only interests me in so far as it effects the other aspects or my own personal glee.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-06-28T22:08:13+00:00

Nope, it’s because dating is voluntary.

If no one wants to date or fuck you, the only way around that is coercion or bribery

Chicken_Nugget_2 · 2026-06-28T15:25:50+00:00

Men are held accountable for their actions? Seriously? Do you know how many convicted rapists are out of prison? Or how many aren't even convicted in the first place?

NiaMiaBia · 2026-06-28T14:47:49+00:00

Bias or not (how can you even know that) - facts are facts. I also think it’s interesting that you frame it as though YOU are not biased, but “most people” are.

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Otjahe · 2026-06-28T15:43:14+00:00

Where are men’s issues not being talked about?

Ok_Cook_3098 · 2026-06-28T14:24:24+00:00

its not bias

they just hate men

Ventynine · 2026-06-28T16:54:33+00:00

Let me just say I didn’t expect these answers at all.

It’s crazy to me that people are focusing on something else entirely rather than on the main point. And by doing that, they’re exactly proving my whole point.

I really didn’t expect this at all.

It’s also crazy how a fair, almost undeniably true, argument (the argument that people tend to be biased and only care about what benefits them) can be so controversial. And all because I shared a personal opinion earlier in the text… when that wasn’t even the main focus. It just shows how biased people are...

Most comments totally proved me right.

Title	Real issues get dismissed as hate because people are biased
Author	Ventynine
Upvotes	12
Comments	203
Date	June 28, 2026 2:10 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1uhyb1t/real_issues_get_dismissed_as_hate_because_people/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/real-issues-get-dismissed-as-hate-because-people.1583802 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583802

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