I've often heard "women don't dislike nice guys, they just dislike men who don't respect themselves". But how can they tell if a man doesn't respect himself?

A lot of women will claim that it's "intuition", but honestly, that's bullcrap. There's a reason the person most likely to harm a woman is her romantic partner. Women (on average) are better at reading people than men are, but "better than men" and "perfect" are two very different things.

It's not your "soul" she sees; nobody can see your soul. Women can't see your soul either: all they can do is see your actions, and look at their past experiences. And something many women have learned through experience is that an overly giving man is either someone who lacks respect for himself or someone trying to get something from her. Even if you're doing this out of genuine kindness rather than weakness, you will be seen as weak, and perception is more important than reality in attraction.

Honestly, I'm kind of surprised that anyone denies that this happens. Ask any friendly woman, "Has anyone ever mistaken your kindness for weakness?", and 100% of them will say yes. If it can happen to women, are you really surprised that it can happen to men?

But of course, there's a difference between when it happens to a woman vs. a man. A woman mistaken as weak will get taken advantage of, and a man mistaken for weak will be tossed out. A woman who people try to take advantage of can renegotiate responsibilities, but you can't negotiate attraction.

So what does this mean?

Well, if you're a man who's been rejected a lot for being nice, all I can say is this: be yourself, unless you suck. Then be someone else.

Specifically, be as kind and giving as you want to friends, family, and strangers. But if you're naturally a very giving man, don't be that kind to women you'd like to date. Otherwise, she'll think you're weak, and there's no recovering from that.