What things does your bf/husband do that annoy you?

AngeAware · 2026-04-04T02:50:34+00:00

It's not so much something he does as something kind of tiring that comes with being in a relationship with him.

So. Many. Parties.

It's ironic because my SO is an introverted person like me. It's just that between his/his family's social networks there's always something going on. Weddings, engagement parties, wedding showers, baby showers, birthdays, holiday parties, you name it. I'm his fiancé. It's deeply ingrained in me that it's my duty to show up and reflect well on him, so I'll never refuse without a good reason. People will ask a lot of questions if I'm not there.

Everyone is really nice and I do have fun, but hoo boy they've been working my social butterfly battery to the bone.

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-04-04T14:11:59+00:00

He’s a picky eater. Not a huge deal most of the time, but I actively love a lot of veggies he hates, and would like to be able to mix them into certain recipes instead of having to eat them separately. But on the flip side, he has some Mexican family members and showed me what real Mexican food is. I haven’t made the shell of disappointment that is a white people taco ever since, so it’s not all bad on the food front.

He’s an “asker,” I am not (different upbringings). This means he feels comfortable asking for favors or specific gifts for birthday/Christmas, while I rarely feel comfortable doing the same. Me saying “no” is never a problem, and he expects me to do the same, so it isn’t “wrong.” It’s just a different way of being, and one I’ve had trouble getting used to since I was raised in an “it’s rude to ask and rude to say no” household.

He’s more emotionally demonstrative, I was raised… kinda the stoic German way. Don’t raise your voice, don’t cry unless someone died, other people’s comfort comes before your feelings. So when I have the rare cry or emotional display, he becomes excessively worried and upset. To me that feels like “you’re allowed to get emotional, I’m not.” But to him, it’s “she never does this, so something must be seriously wrong” (when really it’s usually just a buildup of unreleased frustrations).

Most of the things that will annoy you about a compatible partner are down to differences in how you were raised. If you can talk about your upbringings, you can work through it better and lessen resentment.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2026-04-04T02:34:43+00:00

Last night my husband got REALLY angry that a homeless guy walked into me and didn't apologize. By my estimation, the homeless guy wasn't even on planet earth so I couldn't fault him for not seeing me, but my husband took great offense and wanted to fight the guy.

Anyhoo I was annoyed that my husband was all aggro about the homeless dude instead of ignoring him and whatever offense he caused. 🤷‍♀️

ThatBitchA · 2026-04-04T02:38:55+00:00

He doesn't like regular mushrooms but that's hardly annoying more like his loss.

He's annoyingly athletic. And a better artist.

But really, there's nothing he does that truly annoys or frustrates me.

Routine-Present-3676 · 2026-04-04T12:35:14+00:00

He does small annoying things just like I do small annoying things. I don't think either of us find them worth discussing though because they aren't real issues in our relationship. Leaving socks by the hamper instead of in them, for example. I put them in and don't worry about it, because I recognize this is something that he doesn't even register that he's doing and it isn't that big of a deal. Just one of his quirks. Same as him closing cabinet doors behind me when I regularly forget to close them.

Pisses me off that he has perfect skin and hair with zero effort and a bodywash/shampoo/conditioner/degreaser/brake cleaner/holy water combo as his only product, but that's jealousy more than anything else.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2026-04-04T16:59:59+00:00

The rare time we have a disagreement he will talk over me.

We have talked about it and he hardly ever does it now.

We haven’t had a big fight in years. Big fights don’t work they don’t get you anywhere.

I also hate when he eats curry in bed and gets it in the expensive sheets. So now if he does he washes them and does all the stain removal

saraimarsena · 2026-04-04T02:33:20+00:00

i take very long showers, and when i get out, i have a whole routine that i do, lotion, fixing my hair etc. i like to be uninterrupted, i listen to tiktoks, its me time. i don’t mind when my fiance comes in while im showering, i shower for a long ass time. but once i’m out, give me 15 min ALONE

over and over again he’d wait until im out and doing my routine to have to come in and pee as if he didn’t have 45 min prior to do all that and it drove me insane 😭

we’ve talked about it, i’ve given him shit, but no we don’t have big fights over it. we don’t have big fights at all really. it’s really just not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

BrightPapaya1349 · 2026-04-04T02:28:55+00:00

There are a few very mild things, but one of the worst is that he cuts his nails and will leave them literally everywhere, like on the table or on the floor. I used to do this too a while ago but I think it's gross as heck now. Apart from that he is very clean, on top of his hygiene, helps a lot around the house, etc etc.

We've never really had a fight about it because if I notice it I just remove them and toss them away. I did talk to him about it once but I don't let small things become huge deals.

Another thing he does is to repeat the same phrase over and over and talk to himself a lot when doing basic stuff. I also do it though. We're very similar as you can probably see. 🤣

procrast1natrix · 2026-04-04T19:38:13+00:00

The sum is excellent, no regrets, and I'm not even close to perfect myself.

But. That doesn't mean there aren't aggravations after twenty odd years together.

He's five-ten minutes late to everything. The high schooler kids we have know this, our extended family knows this, we all kinda get ready and stand by the front door waiting on him to "do one last thing" before we leave. How do we cope? We pick our battles and for the important things talk extra about the transit and parking time.

He's much more meticulous about diet than anyone else I know, literally. No allergies, but very healthy and eats a hardcore Mediterranean diet, the kind that's legumes grains and salad and fish, no meat, very limited dairy and limited pasta almost no processed sugars. He doesn't preach it, me and the kids eat a more typical diet, but it is extra work. This one, if he's willing to do all the dishes I'll cook vegan dishes with meat on the side to accommodate him without argument.

The weird one, he has turned fifty five and qualifies for the senior discount at the goodwill, so to amuse himself he browses the racks and finds things to resell on eBay. Now, I'll agree he's talented at finding an $80 merino wool brand name hiking shirt for $3, and there are certainly worse hobbies. But for him it's like solving a jigsaw, it's inherently fun, and to me it's boring. Boring I'm so tired of hearing about it.

We have a gorgeous garden, and it's definitely a net plus both in the scrumptious food he brings, and we have lovely hours with friends and their kids just grazing on the blueberries, raspberries, tomatoes, mouse melons, etc. But I out and out call myself a "garden widow" in season because he will not come inside to dinner until the sun sets, he appreciates working in the cool of the evening and there are always more garden beds to tend. What do I do? The kids and I eat, I set his side and stopped fretting. When the kids were younger it was more important to me that we sit and eat together, that's let important now. He connects with them at other times.

The most stereotypical? He is quicker to yell than I am. It's very rare and he's quick to forgive and generally easy, but I get aggravated about our different understanding of what constitutes a raised voice. And I appreciate that this is cultural - some cultures are pitched more passionate and loud, Italians, Cantonese, Israeli will sound louder in regular family conversation. But I do wish sometimes that he would just agree that quieter spoken cultures are also valid and need respect, as well.

relish5k · 2026-04-04T22:44:33+00:00

Sometimes he directs me around when we’re in public, but to be fair I do bump into things a lot

AdjectiveMcNoun · 2026-04-04T07:28:24+00:00

He doesn't turn off lights. ever. Everyday every light in every room he goes in to is still on. Then he complains about the electric bill. I realize the lights don't use much energy but it does add up and it just makes me laugh.

He turns up the thermostat to 80 make it warmer instead of putting on more clothes. I can't take more clothes off. I'm wearing as little as possible. we live in a very warm, humid area that is normally over 100F. He is from Egypt so he thinks anything below 90 is cold (I'm not exaggerating , he wears a sweater outside when it's 80). I grew up in Iowa so I think anything over 80 is hot. It's.... interesting. haha.

He leaves the wet sponge in the sink instead of wringing it out and putting in back in the holder, bit at least he helps with dishes.

These have all become running jokes in our house. I obviously do things that annoy him too that we also joke about. They aren't things that really annoy me in a bad way, just slightly. He tries to remember to turn the lights off and we are both getting more acclimated to each other's comfort level to find a middle ground.

Fragrant-Half-7854 · 2026-04-04T03:20:07+00:00

He’s an orderly type guy- except when he loads the dishwasher it’s completely random. I can’t watch. It irritates me, not piss me off.

When he doesn’t get me a gift for a holiday. I get mad, then I get it myself and I’m very generous.😂

He’s a picky eater and it drives me nuts sometimes.

Talking_Tanuki · 2026-04-04T04:24:56+00:00

He keeps putting off going to the doctor until I get worried when he mentions something’s bothering him for weeks, so I end up making the appointment for him.

I wish he’d just cut certain people off when they upset him, but instead he keeps trying to make things work and just ends up getting hurt.

Sometimes he gets the urge to reorganize our kitchen drawers or our clothes, and then I can’t find anything for days.

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CatallaxyRanch · 2026-04-04T15:57:30+00:00

He does chores halfway. Like he puts leftovers in containers but forgets to put them in the fridge so they sit out overnight and we have to throw them away. Or he does a load of laundry but forgets to put it in the dryer, so it has to be washed again.

He doesn't put anything up where it goes so every morning it's a frantic search for his phone, wallet, keys etc.

I've mitigated both of these things by just doing a sweep after him and making sure things are done and put up. Before I go to bed I find his keys, wallet and phone and make sure they're all sitting together on the shelf by the door so he can grab them on his way out.

Also, he paces. He never sits down. He eats standing up, watches TV standing up, would probably sleep standing up if he could. This especially drove me crazy during covid, when we lived in a 1br apartment and I was working from home and he was furloughed. We were both home all day every day and he was always pacing and I wanted to kill him.

Ultimately these are all pretty minor things. We've had spats about it, but nothing I'd classify as a "big fight."

SnooCats37 · 2026-04-04T17:00:53+00:00

Doesn’t pick up after himself, pots are still dirty after he finishes washing up, says he will do something later and then doesn’t do it

eyes-tiger · 2026-04-04T05:08:44+00:00

Trying to cuddle while I’m doing paperwork. Only sometimes annoys me, but it’s hard for me to task switch in general. Regardless, I think it’s sweet.

Ex’s? I could come up with a million.

anomalocarus · 2026-04-04T03:13:41+00:00

The guy im dating has stinky socks and goes on his phone at rude times.

Title	What things does your bf/husband do that annoy you?
Author	Past-Shoulder-631
Upvotes	1
Comments	86
Date	April 4, 2026 2:15 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1sbwynp/what_things_does_your_bfhusband_do_that_annoy_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-things-does-your-bfhusband-do-that-annoy-you.1577101 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577101

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