Why aren't marriages becoming more stable?

Creation_Soul · 2023-02-18T19:26:37+00:00

My personal theory (no evidence of this) is that whatever freedoms women gained by having more control over who they marry is being counteracted by a more unstable economical environment. We all know money is one of the top stress factors in a relationship so, more financial insecurity makes also for less stable relationships.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-02-18T19:05:35+00:00

The adjusted divorce rate in the U.S. peaked in 1979 (see Figure 1). The general trend since then has been one of decline, and analyses of divorce trends using the American Community Survey beginning in 2008 indicate successive yearly declines beginning in 2012 (Westrick-Payne, 2022a). The pandemic has had dramatic effects on divorce in the U.S. with a 12% reduction in administrative counts of divorces, which are available from 35 states (Westrick-Payne, Manning, & Carlson, 2022). The ACS shows a parallel trend with a nearly 10% decline in the adjusted divorce rate from 15.5 in 2019 to 14.0 in 2020 (Westrick-Payne, 2022b). Using the 2021 1-year estimate of the American Community Survey (ACS), we estimated the number of divorces and divorce rates among women ages 15 and older in the United States and show how these rates vary across states. This Family Profile is an update of previous profiles that examine the divorce rate across each state [FP-17-24; FP-18-21; FP-19-23; FP-20-25; FP-22-08].

U.S. Adjusted Divorce Rate, 2021

The number of women who reported they divorced declined from 960,014 in 2020 (Westrick-Payne, 2022b) to 948,862 in 2021. The divorce rate, however, remained unchanged at 14.0 divorces per 1,000 married women in both 2020 and 2021.This rate is the lowest level over a 40-year time span.

https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/marino-divorce-rate-US-geographic-variation-2021-fp-22-26.html

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-us-divorce-rate-has-hit-a-50-year-low

https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2018/10/divorce-united-states-dropping-because-millennials/

https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-divorce-rate-is-at-a-40-year-low-unless-youre-55-or-older-11561116601

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-02-18T20:53:31+00:00

The highest indicator of divorce is marrying too young (usually considered to be early twenties or younger).

In general, the younger generations have half the divorce percentage/rate of older generations (25% versus 50%). Younger generations are less likely to divorce, get married on average a few years later than their parents'/grandparents' generations and report a higher level of happiness.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-02-18T20:13:03+00:00

There seems to be this idea that marriage should be this immutable force but no one on here takes into account that there are moving pieces in those marriages. Things change. Economies change. People change. Health conditions change. Even if you had 2 static forces (spouse 1 and spouse 2) you would still have all the external forces that act on those pieces. Add to that that spouse 1 & spouse 2 aren’t static and it doesn’t make sense that for marriage to be easy to maintain.

Cuz really, all marriage is is a commitment to try as hard as the other person

Novadina · 2023-02-18T19:33:47+00:00

the highest divorce rates are observed for 15-24 age group

The brain isn’t even fully developed then, people’s personality is still forming, anyone getting married that young it’s no surprise has lower chances of staying together. People change a lot between 15 and 25.

Naru4odo · 2023-02-18T21:12:27+00:00

It's almost as if marriage doesn't benefit men... I mean 50%of all marriages end in divorce. 70% women who initiate the divorce. That number jumps to 90% for college educated women. Fathers lose their kids, homes, and money more often than not. The govt incentives make it more profitable for the govt and women to leave marriages. To put it into perspective, let's say all the number were 50%, would you eat at a restaurant that has a 50% chance of you getting food poisoning? Would you sky dive if the parachute had a 50% chance of failing? You wouldn't. So that's the same reason marriage rates are going into the shitter. Men are realising that marriage is an unfair deal and they are simply walking away.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-02-18T19:03:01+00:00

why should it be assumed to "Get more stable" over time?

Background_Active250 · 2023-02-18T19:23:31+00:00

Because we live in a society with the mentality of "my needs are my top priority". Compromise is not a concept people want to engage in, nor is putting in the work instead of instant gratification.

nothatyoucare · 2023-02-18T20:21:06+00:00

Hierarchical multiple regression results indicated that women's sexual desire was significantly and negatively predicted by relationship duration after controlling for age, relationship satisfaction, and sexual satisfaction. Men's sexual desire, however, was not significantly affected by the duration of their romantic relationships.

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Scarce12 · 2023-02-18T23:54:45+00:00

But not exactly, the highest divorce rates are observed for 15-24 age group. Not to the extent it used to be in the 1990s, but still higher than for any other group.

It should be added that this is a u-curve and that marriages on the late 30s age group are just as unstable, indicating that it's not a case of "marrying too young" but some other factor at play.

Pathosgrim · 2023-02-19T03:42:39+00:00

Because Women marry for money even tho they have been given the freedom to make that and excel even higher.

PsychologicalHand155 · 2023-02-19T05:30:08+00:00

Divorce rates have been declining but to answer your question why it isn’t even better…?

Back then, a marriage can be shit and toxic (martial rape wasn’t even recognized), they (mostly the woman) would be stuck bc she cannot survive on her own. Now, a woman doesn’t NEED a man anymore. The bar has been raised. Having some mediocre job that barely supports the family and being a manchild at home isn’t gonna cut it anymore. Like sorry…? Women have stepped up. Now men have to catch up.

houstongradengineer · 2023-02-19T05:52:04+00:00

But not exactly, the highest divorce rates are observed for 15-24 age group.

This is no surprise at all, and these people are are NOT typically given the new social freedom you speak of. I mean, FFS, child marriages are included here.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-02-19T07:46:46+00:00

There was always something unnatural about two people staying together for a long time under marital conditions. That is why society worked so hard to force them together. So the primary reason marriages are less stable is that those coercive forces have greatly lessened. So to have the environmental coercive forces based on raw necessity and survival.

In addition, marriage is increasingly based on sex and romantic love, which are mercurial forces at best. Finally, we also live longer, so we are asking more of marriage while using less force to make it stable and lasting.

Safinated · 2023-02-18T20:43:03+00:00

You do understand how time and aging and replacement humans works, right? Humans aren’t an immortal, unchanging population, just so you know

SoldierExcelsior · 2023-02-22T04:38:54+00:00

Mainly because women don't need a man to survive, so they're less likely to put up with things they don't like in marriage, they're often incentivized to divorce and they have easy acess to other men so rebounding is easy.

For example 5 years into her marriage 29 year old Halle is unhappy she's relatively young abd attractive her friends and society tells her she deserves better there are many attractive and successful men constantly complimenting her ...She works as a paralegal and a hot young lawyer has been paying her particular attention ignoring her wedding ring he playfully flirts and teases her with romantic trips to Fiji...something her bus driver husband never even thinks about.

With easy no fault divorce easy ascess to other men with no one respecting the sanctity of marriage with vows just being empty words that fall flat to emotions....

Marriage is not just unstable its dead.

vapordaveremix · 2023-02-18T19:37:18+00:00

Well you have to consider that we just got out of a global pandemic. Many relationships that were hanging on by a thread were broken up. Many healthy relationships were crushed under stress and became dysfunctional.

We're already in late stage capitalism, with depressed wages and rediculous housing prices, while also heading into a recession with inflation. That's hard on it's own for couples but if you have kids then it's even more difficult.

The reality is that, in order for a marriage to succeed these days, you need to be on your A game. You need to have an expertly tuned family system. Both people need to have their shit together. No dead weight. You have very little room for failure.

Unfortunately, many men make better boyfriends than husbands, and many women make better girlfriends than wives.

From what I've seen, the problem is more with the former than the latter. Too many men hold onto ideals of marriage that make for terrible dynamics.

For example, many fathers think that by working 8 hours a day and paying all the bills, their role is complete. They don't have to change diapers or clean the house or bottle feed the baby. All that is women stuff, in their minds. Meanwhile, wifey is working 12 hours a day and waking up in the middle of the night to take care of kiddo. She's tired and stressed and overworked. His main complaint is that she doesn't initiate sex. Well why would she?

That dynamic is barely functional on a good day, but one recession later and the dad is served divorce papers. Suprisedpikachuface.jpg

TrueEnoughNewsViews · 2023-02-19T00:45:12+00:00

Marriages will never be stable because they typically involve at least 1 woman — the most self-indulgent, capricious, selfish and vindictive creature in all the world.

Different_Weekend817 · 2023-02-18T21:28:03+00:00

Considering that women have more and more freedoms not only to divorce men they don't want to be with, but also not to marry them in the first place, why aren't we seeing marriages becoming more stable?

because women have more options? this indeed makes sense that marriage is less stable. where it's very hard to get out of marriage because of legal and social restrictions, there will be less divorce. tl;dr more options = more marriage breakdown.

blueshinx · 2023-02-19T01:26:24+00:00

Because long term monogamy is culturally enforced but doesn’t necessarily reflect the actual behavior of human beings.

Soggy_Head_4889 · 2023-02-19T05:01:04+00:00

Considering that women have more and more freedom

That's why.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2023-02-19T06:47:21+00:00

But not exactly, the highest divorce rates are observed for 15-24 age

Who in America is regularly getting married at these ages ... lol No wonder why they divorce , lack of education , money , and the stress of growing up, irresponsible marriages. Our economy in America doesn't encourage marriage at these ages.

Pristine_Type_lmao · 2023-02-19T07:54:42+00:00

Marriage has never been stable, not when both had the same legal rights and law applied.

Willow-girl · 2023-02-19T18:09:25+00:00

But not exactly, the highest divorce rates are observed for 15-24 age group. Not to the extent it used to be in the 1990s, but still higher than for any other group.

Ahh, the old "starter marriage" ...

Title	Why aren't marriages becoming more stable?
Author	abaxeron
Upvotes	14
Comments	136
Date	February 18, 2023 4:48 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/115jj5i/why_arent_marriages_becoming_more_stable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-arent-marriages-becoming-more-stable.1152197 https://theredarchive.com/post/1152197

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