Women say they can easily tell when a man is being a fake nice guy, but they friendzone those men though.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-01-09T21:09:44+00:00

Every “nice guy” I’ve encountered has been swiftly cut off from my life, not friend zoned.

beautyloser · 2026-01-09T19:33:45+00:00

Women that are rejecting Nice Guys because they’re noticing manipulative or pushy behavior don’t generally want to be friends with them, either.

In my experience, the only time I “friend zoned” a Nice Guy was because I felt unsafe telling him off or removing him from my life. I had to gently decline, be evasive, and slow fade so he wouldn’t show up outside my house a second time.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2026-01-09T19:45:39+00:00

I don’t think you’re using “women are wonderful” or “just world fallacy” correctly here but anyway,

Usually women realize the nice guy isn’t nice when he stops being nice. Really, that’s all there is to it. And then they say, “ohh he was actually a sneaky fucker.” The end.

EugeneCezanne · 2026-01-09T19:49:17+00:00

The whole psychic powers thing where women can automatically know when a man is bad, but all of a sudden lose these abilities when they are in abusive relationships is a whole another topic for different post.

Don't bother, it's been done to death. TLDR: Most people have this "power." Women's may be more finely attuned, due to socialization, the exponentially more times they are approached by men over the years, and a stronger self-protective drive; however, it isn't perfect, for many reasons, and varies between individuals.

Because I love basketball analogies: Steph Curry has a near superhuman ability to shoot 3-pointers. Alone in a gym, he can make them all day. However, he misses nearly 60% of them in actual games. Variables like opposing defense, mental state, fatigue and shot selection all play big parts. Similarly, no matter how good you are at detecting character, you still have to contend with all the variables involved in doing it in a real life situation, not the least of which is that some men are better at hiding it than others ("opposing defense").

But yet they still want to keep these men as friends though. Why do you want bad people as friends? 🤔.

A lot of them don't. Of those who do, fewer do so routinely. I don't know what your social life looks like, but in mine, women typically cut sus dudes off quick.

Of those who do, there may be several reasons. The most obvious to me is conflict-avoidance. This is especially true if she has high proximity to the man in question: someone in, or related to, her larger friend group; a classmate or colleague, or just someone who hasn't explicitly done anything deal-breaking yet and keeps hanging around.

Better yet, why don't you just ask some real-world women about the specific men in question? I have done so many times. Other than conflict-avoidance, the main reasons I've heard are "I mean, I do enjoy hanging out with him," and "I don't know, I guess he's not doing me any harm as long as I don't give him the chance." Usually they say this with chagrin, as if they know the moral and responsible thing to do is to cut him off, but don't actually want to do anything so drastic or dramatic.

Intelligent-Insight · 2026-01-10T06:28:26+00:00

If they know nice guys and fake nice guys, then they also know bad guys. So whoever agrees with that must also agree with the fact that women aren't used for sex or misled - they can easily tell that type of guy and choose it anyway.

Subliminalloves · 2026-01-09T20:07:30+00:00

Women don't want skeevy entitled orbiters as 'friends'. It's wildly uncomfortable and dangerous having men like that around.

Do some women recognize a position of power and take advantage? Yeah ofc. They are gross and don't see men as equals, and feel entitled to their attention and benefits.

Do some women lack self esteem and also let themselves get taken advantage of by abusers too? Yeah ofc. People pleasing is a huge problem and a dangerous disadvantage to some women.

I think women focus a lot of energy into whether or not men are trying to deceive us because it fucking sucks to be deceived and men are too desperate to get laid. So no, women are not psychics but yes, they are always trying to detect motives and intentions and talk about it

mashedturnip · 2026-01-09T19:45:53+00:00

“But yet they still keep these men as friends though”

Receipts needed. If you’re being friendzoned you aren’t being manipulative, because you have actually asked for sex

What I see in abuse/relationship subs is women begging for a magic way to get their partner to treat them like they did in the beginning

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2026-01-09T19:30:25+00:00

I keep hearing about this clairvoyance, but never from women.

TopShelfSnipes · 2026-01-09T20:00:37+00:00

Women say they wouldn't date nice guys because they can automatically sense that these men are bad and are trying to manipulate them. But yet they still want to keep these men as friends though. Why do you want bad people as friends? 🤔.

Women don't date nice guys because they are boring and spineless.

What matters in dating is how a guy makes a woman feel. Nice guys inspire nothing except politeness, so politeness is what they get back. They interpret this as "friendship", then build a friendship, then get angry when the friendship doesn't yield a relationship or sexual interest.

If you don't want to be a woman's friend, then don't be her friend. Just build a rapport, make a move, and move on quickly if she says no without being bitter or jealous or weird or angry. I don't know why this is so hard for 'nice guys' to get, but it's something that pretty much all competent men learned by high school.

Livid-Log7463 · 2026-01-09T22:29:38+00:00

This is just a way women can reject men without seeming like they have incredibly high standards and to attempt to signal that their preferences are virtuous.

xxTx-Toymanxx · 2026-01-09T20:46:37+00:00

DISCLAIMER no it doesn't apply to all and honestly have no idea the percentages would even look like but seem exceedingly high and if it doesn't apply to you then it doesn't apply to you.

The friendzone itself doesn't exist. All that says is I like this person but have no sexual or romantic interest in them.

Hot take but my personal view based off working in women dominated field, personal experiences. I can't tell you over the years how many times ive been drawn into conversations or overhead them and the complaints and actions or how many times they will bypass a good partner choice just to return the toxic choice is staggering.

Women seem to thrive and actively seek out relationships full of trauma and drama calling it excitement then become trauma bonded. The "nice" guys are just too boring. And I am not talking about the guys that claim to be nice and obviously are playing wolves in sheep skin coats. Ive seen it rationalized as seeking an exciting relationship but honestly it just seems to me to be a hidden streak of hidden masochism. They love playing the victim card.

I know guys that might not be the tallest, most attractive but make good money and are as nice as they come, respectful but never get passed the hello and nice to meet you stage while the ones they approach end up bitching how their partners abuse them daily and cheat on them but they never leave or just keep going back to them. I cannot even relate how many have come through the ER from such abusive relationship, we get them connected to resources to leave but they return only to be abused yet again. It's just a vicious cycle.

Then if they do settle with the nice guy, they cheat on them and turn them into one of the toxic guys out of being bored.

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Looking_Magic · 2026-01-11T17:51:18+00:00

The friend zone thing is just to do a slow fade away.

Salt_Lie_1857 · 2026-01-12T04:08:49+00:00

What is a shitty man? A man who do what he wants?

Mysterious-Lab-7408 · 2026-01-09T19:42:24+00:00

Women’s intuition is definitely not psychic powers, nor is it infallible. It’s just a product of women being taught to be more in touch with emotions and observant of the characters of people around them. Studies have shown that women pick up on body language and facial expressions faster than men. It’s also shown that women consider interpersonal relationships with more detail and complexity than men.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12466681/#:~:text=The%20evidence%20also%20suggests%20that,2020%3B%20Sinclair%2C%202020).

All that is sort of irrelevant though because my main point is that (at least in my experience) the male friends that I consider nice friends, I would never consider a nice boyfriend. Not only could I just not be attracted to them romantically, but being a good friend does not make you a good partner.

Women do date shitty men, but finding a partner as a shitty man is infinitely harder. One existing doesn’t make it the norm or even imply that being shitty is a positive trait. These men aren’t being dated FOR being shitty. They have other, sometimes faked, attractive traits and are generally highly manipulative at the start of a relationship.

When women say they wouldn’t date “nice guys”, they don’t literally mean they wouldn’t date a guy who is nice. The term “nice guy” is specifically for men who truly believe they are nice, but in reality are entitled and usually misogynistic. Women don’t have or want “nice guys” as friends either. In fact, “nice guys” tend to throw a fit about being put in the friendzone, they don’t want female friends either. They see female friends as ongoing opportunities to get sex if they have any.

Revolutionary-Set994 · 2026-01-09T21:23:54+00:00

Its been my experience that women are either completely fucking awful at discerning a man's intentions due to halo effect or playing dumb in public while laughing about them behind their back (friendzone betabux area). The amount of master manipulator sociopath abusers I've seen over the years who were actually just attractive, often dumb, guys who simply didn't give a fuck is staggering. The shit women will put up with from a guy like that is hard to watch, its usually not genius level social manipulation either but blunt, crass orders. But yeah they have no "bad guy" radar to speak of, just an attraction filter. Ironically those nice guys would be doing much better off if they actually were sending out dark triad signals.

pie-mart · 2026-01-09T21:30:42+00:00

Yes, cuz the nice guys set off their pattern recognition because of the abusive relationships they have been in.

All men who i have had serious issues with emotionally are the "nice guys" and so if I see a pattern that reminds me of the bad guys, I don't take a chance on them

Get bitten by a rattlesnake, you may freak out at any rattle even if its just a children's toy.

Thats how brains work

kmb218 · 2026-01-09T20:08:45+00:00

The whole psychic powers thing where women can automatically know when a man is bad

Not sure how you came up with psychic powers? Sometimes, you can tell someone is bad based on their behavior, not psychic powers.

but all of a sudden lose these abilities when they are in abusive relationships is a whole another topic for different post.

They did not lose psychic powers since they never had any in the first place. Sometimes, a man only becomes bad after a long time and doesn’t shows his red flags immedietly.

Women still date shitty men.

Do you think most men are shitty then?

Women say they wouldn't date nice guys because they can automatically sense that these men are bad and are trying to manipulate them.

It’s red pill men who claim women don’t date nice guys, not women. Women date actually nice guys all the time, but there is a big difference between people who self describe as nice guys on this subreddit (mysoginistic views, they think being a passive pushover makes him nice) vs actual nice guys (nice conversations, kind, friendly, helpful, social, open).

But yet they still want to keep these men as friends though. Why do you want bad people as friends?

No, women don’t typically have frienships with people they consider bad and manipulative.

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Ok_Freedom_639 · 2026-01-09T21:46:18+00:00

It's not mutually exclusive. Of course, it's possible (and very likely) that women (people, really) can easily identify low level manipulators (among them nice guys), while being fooled by master manipulators (abusive partners).

Only_Excitement6594 · 2026-01-10T11:32:28+00:00

It's not healthy to give a damn about this. Stay away from the game

OwnedIGN · 2026-01-10T12:07:51+00:00

There are only two scenarios;

it didn’t work (and he’s “shitty” because I’m salty).
he was always “shitty” (and I ignored it because he’s sexy).

“Nice guys” deserve to lose. At least a shitty guy has the nuts to be his flawed self. A nice guy that is faking it is cowardly. Women hate that. He’s also, likely, more dangerous (let’s be honest).

World-Three · 2026-01-11T02:45:43+00:00

I think an underlying issue is that women are very prepared to call out cheese. There are a lot of opportunities in a conversation for men to shoot their shot if they decide to be cheesy. And I think nice guys generally are people who basically raise the alarm of going for it.

Natural is destroyed by "too easy" and the men who don't take that easy route get more respect from women because they're not taking the obvious path. I think that's why trying to upgrade friendships became "passive aggressive" in the past, why "Netflix and chill" got a bad rep, and why "hopping in the DMs" got shame too... Because it's all too easy.

Unfortunately, those natural circumstances where we talk to people becoming red flags or icky interactions made it where we just don't talk to the opposite sex even seldomly anymore. Women don't want to present that opportunity, and men who are aware of this feeling being had during exchanges like this, don't want to entertain the possibility of being found guilty.

World-Three · 2026-01-11T04:28:53+00:00

I think an underlying issue is that women are very prepared to call out cheese. There are a lot of opportunities in a conversation for men to shoot their shot if they decide to be cheesy. And I think nice guys generally are people who basically raise the alarm of going for it.

Natural is destroyed by "too easy" and the men who don't take that easy route get more respect from women because they're not taking the obvious path. I think that's why trying to upgrade friendships became "passive aggressive" in the past, why "Netflix and chill" got a bad rep, and why "hopping in the DMs" got shame too... Because it's all too easy.

Unfortunately, those natural circumstances where we talk to people becoming red flags or icky interactions made it where we just don't talk to the opposite sex even seldomly anymore. Women don't want to present that opportunity, and men who are aware of this feeling being had during exchanges like this, don't want to entertain the possibility of being found guilty.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-01-09T21:16:57+00:00

people friendzone themselves. no one friend zones you

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2026-01-09T21:52:25+00:00

Fake nice guys are shitty men. Are you saying women are obligated to date them?

Content_Concert_2555 · 2026-01-09T21:03:27+00:00

A nice guy isn’t every male friend who shoots his shot. It’s a guy posing as a friend to shoot his shot.

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-01-10T02:15:51+00:00

It doesn’t take any psychic powers to notice that a man who was once nice to you while he was pretending to be a friend is now being a total dick after he found out you’re not going to sleep with him. He was nice, until he wasn’t. If she’d known all along, she never would’ve been friends with him ya know?

Same goes for abusive relationships. They’re nice until it’s going to be hard for you to leave. Most red flags are only noticeable in hindsight.

ThatBitchA · 2026-01-09T20:56:02+00:00

Who is staying friends with a man who is pretending to be nice?

If I reject someone, I'm not staying friends with them.

MaverisStranger · 2026-01-09T20:56:50+00:00

Wow, you have zero understanding of human psychology and no empathy to boot. Stay single.

Title	Women say they can easily tell when a man is being a fake nice guy, but they friendzone those men though.
Author	PassengerCultural421
Upvotes	45
Comments	137
Date	January 9, 2026 7:28 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1q8hr6j/women_say_they_can_easily_tell_when_a_man_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-say-they-can-easily-tell-when-a-man-is-being.1570809 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570809

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