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Modern wimpy men

BelleBonbon
July 11, 2022
212 upvotes
/r/RedPillWomen

What state would you say has the highest amount of traditional men? Every time I go on a date, I discover the person siting across from me is a modern, effeminate and weak man. I know it’s taboo to say this these days but I want to be a housewife. It seems like many men want you to work hard like a man, split bills with them and be a forever girlfriend. Which I completely disagree with.

Thank you in advance.

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Post Information
Title Modern wimpy men
Author BelleBonbon
Upvotes 212
Comments 116
Date July 11, 2022 7:25 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/modern-wimpy-men.1123183
https://theredarchive.com/post/1123183
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/vwck67/modern_wimpy_men/
Comments

[–]jenna_grows1 Star 108 points109 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

If you’re clear about who you are and what you want from the outset, then you won’t attract these guys.

[–]raspberryjam1 13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree. OP has specifics in mind, but she's entertaining people who don't check those boxes. How would she stop going on first dates that are doomed from the start? By exclusively dating pre-vetted friends of friends and online?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The “date” is an invention made for people get to know each other so they can decide if they want to date or not. Kind hard making that kind of decision over the internet and lots of men like to play themselves up in their first approach so they don’t really get to see the real them. And yeah a lot of men these days are not men at all.

[–]jenna_grows1 Star 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I’ve not had an issue with this since I started being upfront. My husband and I texted for a week or so while we awaited our first date and, at the first date, we spoke about kids and my views on my role raising children and desire to be a primary parent.

I wasn’t even necessarily looking to settle down at that moment but I made the upfront messages very clear and yea obviously we got married and I’m happy.

Edit: to clarify, I can’t remember exactly what but I know I would’ve alluded to my expectations re a LTR / marriage even on text.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Even people who are married for 50+years still are finding out who their spouse really is. Something that is really shown over time, not in one sit. And that’s completely based off your experiences not hers! Idk why people are offended by someone’s opinion

[–]jenna_grows1 Star 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Who’s offended? Who’s even acting offended?

I’m sharing my experience and giving advice about how to waste less time with guys who don’t share your values.

I get you don’t think it’s good advice (even though it works for me). But you should also accept that not everyone shares your lower standard and won’t be as tolerant of time wasting on dates as you.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 44 points45 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I dont know as I am non American but try to go to church and see like what if you meet Christian man who is family oriented and want housewife?

[–]sunglasses903 Stars 69 points70 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I set my bumble preferences to moderate or conservative only. Basically I filtered out “liberal” men. It’s not a guarantee, but that was the biggest indicator to me on what their values likely were.

The guys you’re looking for are out there, but they are difficult to find. Treat dating like a part time job. As to where to find them I’d say anywhere outside of a city. Look for a guy who has an actual house, not a townhouse, that he knows how to take care of and renovate who is ready to have a wife/family. Also look for guys 5 years or more older than you. Age is a huge problem, because on average it takes guys longer to finish school and mature. So if you date your age you’re essentially dating younger. Most guys aren’t ready to settle down and have a family and be financial provider until after 30.

[–]Rose_Tremiere 30 points31 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Totally agree on looking outside of cities. Every guy I know who settled down, got married and had kids between 25 and 35 (and whose marriage is still going strong) are from smaller towns or the countryside (this includes my husband). They just weren't interested in playing games or sleeping around, and when they found the right girl, they committed. Big city guys (in my experience) are indeed wimpy, unreliable, addicted to hook-up culture, and they cover it up with a woke discourse on deconstructing monogamy and being "feminist".

[–]sunglasses903 Stars 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh I know. When I finally found my fiancé and he had a house, 2 car garage, and plenty of power tools and saws and an American flag hanging up over the work table I was like….. “This is home”. It reminded me of the my dad, grandfathers, uncles, etc. and it made me so happy. It was so refreshing after living near the city for a long time. He’s truly amazing and doesn’t compare to any city guy I met.

[–]rosesonthefloor3 Star 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Where are you meeting these men?

If it’s online: what does your profile say about you? I was able to find more traditional-minded men by being explicit about it on my profile, and highlighting the kind of feminine qualities I had that traditional men would be looking for. They’re out there, but they want to make sure that you’re going to be holding up your end of the bargain as many provider-type men are wary of being taken advantage of.

So basically, you want to sell yourself as a good wife while vetting them as a good husband. Make sure you’ve got photos of yourself in feminine outfits, enjoying life, and make sure you have actual hobbies and skills to bring to the table. High value men want high value women, and traditional men want traditional women. Embody that and you’ll attract that kind of man.

Also clarify your expectations: do you want someone to support you during dating phase? Right when you get married? Or just after you have children? Most provider men are amenable to the last option but not necessarily the first.

Also decide what you’re willing to compromise on. I’m not at all saying it’s bad to want to stay at home - that’s great if you can find it! And some men absolutely still want to and do offer that. I’m just saying decide where your dealbreakers are and where you have more flexibility - no one likes someone who is always “my way or the highway”, and I’m sure your future partner will appreciate a collaborative approach rather than an adversarial one once you get to that point.

I ended up with someone a bit different - his family run a prominent business in our city, so both of us having a “good career” is actually an element of prestige. Although I’ll likely take a few years off for kids, and I could probably end up like his mother and retire very early if I want. I’m happy with that.

[–]Ethman2k9 49 points50 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

This is what trash postmodernism will bring you. Can you really blame them tho? They’ve been brow beaten with this stuff their whole life!

[–]FortitudeWisdom 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Could you elaborate a bit? What postmodernists talk about this? What books?

[–]unlikely_creme77 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

they don’t. postmodernism doesn’t push traditionalism tho, and the affects that postmodernist ideas can have most likely contributes to a willingness to stray from tradition. but no serious postmodernist writer is writing “forever girlfriends” into their works. thinkers aren’t responsible for the way readers choose to implement their works, consciously or otherwise. you can understand postmodernism and still be traditional in your private life. people just like using words like postmodern and feminism to blame the downfall of their preferred lifestyle on.

[–]Euphoric-Chain-51553 Star 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You see, this is exactly the kind of behavior the OP is talking about. Discussions of postmodernism should never be more involved than acknowledging it's a retarded incoherent worldview propagated by depressed pedophiles.

Well I'm sure you were shoved in your fair share of lockers in high school, I contend that it didn't happen enough.

[–]unlikely_creme77 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

every single one of your posts is on this sub. relax.

[–]rebeccabrixton 36 points37 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I am just here to say I have 3 young sons who I am unashamedly bringing up as masculine as possible. The U.K. is becoming very ‘woke’ so we just work around that BS narrative at home with logic and of course, setting an example. I know on a primitive level, women prefer masculine men and I want grandchildren haha!

[–]Rose_Tremiere 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Same as you, I'm trying to raise our son to fully embrace what it means to be a man and get shit done, not only by following his father's example but by seeing me in a traditionally feminine role at home. We're planning to move to the countryside next year to have our son know how to use tools, how to fix and grow things, how to stay active and strong by being outdoors. As I see it, it's the best gift we can give him for future happiness with a good woman.

[–]ddouchecanoe 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know on a primitive level, women prefer masculine men and I want grandchildren haha!

LOVE THAT.

I know so many men who have such a low likelihood of fathering children and all of this woketivism/feminism (and the new sh*t dating culture it brings) is responsible for so much of it.

edit: syntax

[–]dimibro71 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Me Tarzan you Jane

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (24 children) | Copy Link

I’m in liberal Massachusetts. Lots of high-paying jobs mean lots of housewives, especially since the pandemic.

A major problem with finding a high value man around here can be providing receipts. These men need proof that you’re not just a mooch. Education is critically important here. They want proof that you’re intelligent, capable, and hard-working in the form of a college degree. Doctors marry doctors, not the cashier at Target. This is something I wish I had realized younger. Many men want you to have the degree and not use it!

Many men here are woke in the streets and traditional at home. You won’t find a lot of outdoorsy hunters, but you’ll find executives and engineers who take care of business.

[–]Ok_Obligation_61101 Star 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can confirm this, met my husband in Boston. He’s a double ivy degree holder with a PhD. He never would’ve thought to date me if I didn’t have a degree from a good university. He explicitly even told me within the first few weeks of dating that he had tried to date girls who weren’t as educated as I was and couldn’t do it anymore because he didn’t find them intellectually compatible. We’re now married and I’m a housewife after I worked a few years in advertising as we dated.

[–]Costafarian 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

MA man here. Not even remotely true. Esp if you're a career guy. You want to be a housewife for someone, then it's really as simple as taking care of the little things he doesn't think about.

Some women here in MA get mad at the idea of being a sort of "assistant" to a man. This is of course highly dependent on what the guy wants. But overall a degree isn't nearly as important as just being a team player.

Important to be open about what you both value together and to find a compromise that works for you.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

You bring up a good point. But do you think this is regionally specific? I live in a Southern Red state and it seems like a lot of the more well-educated men do want to marry cashiers/secretaries. They do not want to date/marry their equals. I’ve always wondered if that was a control issue or a self-esteem issue for the men. As in, the less educated she is the more I can control her, but if she has a good education people will see her as more of my equal. Food for thought, I guess.

[–]C0UNT3RP01NT 28 points29 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

For me (I’m a male engineer), it’s less to do with self-esteem or control and more to do with goal differences. I want a family. I already make enough to provide for a family. A partner with a career oftentimes is focusing on their career in contrast to a family.

I’ll be the first to say I support that. A woman wants to have a career that’s totally cool. I have nothing against being with a woman who does. But I want someone that will put family first. I work to support my lifestyle, my lifestyle is not my work. Family is a priority, but my role is the traditionally masculine provider. I don’t care what you do as long as family is your priority. It’s okay if that’s not for you, it just means we’re not compatible.

The cashier/secretaries I’ve found are much more okay with playing the support role or focusing on the family unit.

I think the commenter above said it best: Woke in the streets, traditional in the sheets. I’m a pretty egalitarian guy at a basic level, I just prefer a traditional relationship and I date those who I believe provide that.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

I totally get what you’re saying. But a lot of women, like myself, who do have advanced degrees still desire men who are masculine, well-educated, and want to provide for their families. That doesn’t mean for me to support your lifestyle and career and take care of our children that I have to become a SAHM or give up my career does it? I think the more educated the woman the better equipped she would be at being able to manage your schedule, add value to your life while simultaneously raising the children with you as her partner.

I get what you’re saying about the secretaries being more willing to take the “support role” but I feel like that is two people who are unequally yolked and then they end up getting divorced.

I’m not sure what the answer is tbh.

[–]C0UNT3RP01NT 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Again, I don't actually have a problem with that.

I can only speak from my own dating experience but some of my ex's were highly ambitious, very hard-working, very talented, very intelligent, successful women. I didn't feel insecure next to them, and honestly I thought it was kind of awesome. I like being with "winners". You can be a SAHM and still be a winner imo, to me it's about how you approach your chosen path in life. Take ownership of your life, and work to excel at it.

The problem I ran into consistently was they would always choose their career over the relationship in a very particular way. It seemed to me like a relationship to them was taken for granted. It wasn't something to build or to prioritize. It was a secure situation where their free time was spent, but their free time was something to fill up with more work. Our relationship got to be very shallow after a time.

My last ex, for example, is a rather successful artist who travels a lot for work. Because she has a great network, she's constantly getting new opportunities for new jobs. Free time for her, was something to fill up with new jobs. I was just the guy who was around after a time. But early on, I was the guy who was investing into the relationship and building it. Between financial support, emotional support, planning a lot of shared activities, dividing household responsibilities, generally taking the lead on developing us into an integrated family unit. I enjoy my work but I just as much want to spend time with my partner. So I make a lot of decisions based off that. I had no issues with her career, for the most part I had no issues with her schedule. It was the constantly getting sidelined that got to me (among some other issues). The end of our relationship, she would constantly cancel or push back plans. She would go on a big work trip for a month, get a new opportunity there for another long work trip, then come home for a week, before going on this new work trip. We would keep a mutual schedule, and I'd see that she would be gone from late November till New Years and then be free till March, then all of the sudden I'd find out on Christmas that she has some new project starting in the middle of January all the way through February. Those are the more extreme examples, but it was like this with all of the small things. I had a different ex who I was with when she graduated from Law School. She became a lawyer and then she kept increasing her work load at our expense. She'd have a case, then suddenly another one, then another one, then another... My work load is pretty stable, and when it's increased I try to balance it out by doing something special with them.

Again, I have no issues with women and people choosing to follow their bliss/calling/chosen life path. I encouraged them to follow it. I supported my exes. I still do support their choices. I just potentially see it as compatibility issue sometimes.

Also, in your favor, I've had exes that were not that ambitious or driven and were quite available for me. But they also didn't contribute much, even taking a "back-seat" role. All the responsibilities were divided in an egalitarian and equal way, except I contributed way more emotionally and financially. It sucked working dumb hours, paying for all the trips, all the house stuff, helping fix their car, then having to be stressed out about taking care of the house when they could have potentially contributed more there. I think should contribute equally. Even a SAHM who isn't getting paid but is taking care of the house is contributing a whole lot.

Overall, I don't really have a problem in general with anybody's chosen lifestyle. I'm a pragmatist. I'm already in a reasonably successful solid field and career path. I lived my life knowing that I want a family and I can be a single-income provider. It's been a general goal of mine. I don't necessarily need my partner's money but I do need their time, and successful woman usually have less of it. Which is fine, but I can't be the only one balancing it.

I don't rule a woman out just because she's a doctor or a lawyer or a scientist or successful. I rule a woman out if we want different things out of life. I'm not married, and I'm not seriously looking for a relationship right now, so I can't say what the woman I end up with will be doing with her life. I've just found that less-driven women are much more okay focusing on family. Doesn't mean all successful women are anti-family. I'm down to give anybody a shot.

TL;DR: Successful career-driven women are fine, but in my experience, they usually don't have the time for the type of a family I would like.

[–]Euphoric-Chain-51553 Star 8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Have you found what it is you say that you want?

If yes, you can probably offer some insight from firsthand experience.

If no, have you considered that your view on what should be is not in concordance with reality?

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Ohh that’s a good question. A bit complicated. Yes and No. Yes, I found what I was looking for. HVM, intelligent, successful, provider - all of the things I think OP is looking for in a man. However… he wanted the secretary. However, I am aware that not all men are like that. I think OP is far too young to think there are not HVM out there who will want a successful doctor as a wife. Being a strong professional woman does not mean you cannot be a submissive wife. Just to echo what others have said, she doesn’t need a hundred HVM … just one.

And I am a tad unsure of what you mean by not in accordance with reality. In accordance with whose reality?

[–]Euphoric-Chain-51553 Star 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

"I think OP is far too young to think there are not HVM out there who will want a successful doctor as a wife."

There's a saying I've heard in the engineering field before:

In theory, theory and practice are the same thing. In practice, they are not.

The world is not going to be the way you think it should be, simply because you have imagined a different way for it to be which you prefer. It is the way you observe it to be, which incidentally, is the same way everyone else observes it to be. There is no such thing as whose reality.

[–]C0UNT3RP01NT 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I wrote a long reply to her. I'm the male OP she's replying to.

I honestly have no issue with successful women for the most part. I've dated quite a few. My issue is that the one's that I've dated didn't really have time for a relationship. Lower pressure jobs usually do have more time. I'm not saying all successful women don't have time for a family, just the one's that I've dated. I want more quality family time in my life. It's a balanced priority for me. I've been taking a dating hiatus, but I know overall that's what I want.

I've found pretty good balance with my life where I can have quality family time and a nice career. If a successful women can do that, totally fine by me. I don't think the only way I'll find that is with a secretary or a SAHM. I'm just already in a pretty good position. So I don't necessarily benefit that much from my partner being successful. Again, absolutely nothing wrong with it i.e. woke in the streets. Honestly if she made enough, and a home life is one of her priorities, I have no problem being a house husband if that made the most sense. I'm naturally a leader but I'm a utilitarian pragmatist, foremost. And because of that, since I'm a man it's easier and much more realistic to focus on following the traditional male path: success, ambition, providing. Even successful women still want the ambitious, successful, provider.

It just comes down to compatibility. Family is one of my priorities. I've turned down many of work opportunities in order to have more time to myself. Still make enough to be content. If I find a woman who has similar priorities, I don't care what she does.

[–]Euphoric-Chain-51553 Star 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's a whole lot of text to spend apologizing and explaining something that women inherently want anyway. I understand that you've been brow beaten into apologetics over the course of your life (even if you don't fully understand it), but it's unnecessary on this sub and it reads as weakness to women wherever you are.

Your personal experiences and preferences aren't particularly relevant here in any case - unless OP is specifically interested in marrying you - the goal here is to offer advice that is generally applicable. And the generally applicable advice to women looking for a family-oriented HVM is that a highly demanding professional career is a major strike against them. The reason such a career is a strike against them is that the same rationale you gave also applies to other men in general.

[–]C0UNT3RP01NT 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

But I'm not apologizing. And I get the apologetics you're referring to, but I'm just explaining my position. I will admit that I do tend to write out overly long replies that I really don't need to.

Regardless, as far as your last point, I was kind of hoping that she saw that it wasn't just me. A lot of HVM see it the same way. There's a give and a take.

[–]Costafarian 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

As in you can’t be a successful woman and have a man who is masculine and well-educated? How so?

[–]Costafarian -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're not even considering that men who are more masculine and educated even want a girl like you.

And you'd rather be selfish about it than admit than that it might be a possibility.

You want to be a career woman. Fine, you are welcome to do so.

But your unwillingness to give all that up for a man, and to be that traditional wife for him is exactly why you aren't finding one.

You are thinking more about what you want than what he wants. And he will avoid you for that.

[–]WhatIsThisAccountFor4 Star 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well I think it really depends.

Secretaries are different than cashiers imo, because a secretary is still a coworker. I think it also depends what the career field is. Men in tech for instance probably would tend to go for someone outside of their field because there are so few women within their field.

I used to live in a very southern red state and I think it’s more about when the people meet rather than who. Most people seemed to marry someone they met when they were 18-22. Either that or someone in their church.

[–]ddouchecanoe 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

From smaller city (red growing up, now blue), moved to biggest city (v blue) for 500 miles.

I am an example of someone who paired up at the age of 21. We started dating when he was a somewhat lost young alpha type fraternity boy. Went through all sorts of challenges and did not have a dime for a long time but I liked him because of his kind heart and strong traditional values (and social capabilities). He grew into a stereotypical HVM during our time together through hard work. I could never be called a gold digger haha but I am grateful to have a strong, hardworking traditional man that will be a pillar for our family and is encouraging of my hope to be a SAHM as well as able to support that financially.

He is definitely dominate and I am submissive to him, but that is a major aspect of what brought us together in the first place.

We are conservatives mostly surrounded by liberals, but you can find those with conservative/traditional values. They are hiding all around you.

[–]MightyPants978 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Some men want their children raised by an educated mother so that the child grows in an environment conducive to their success.

[–]ddouchecanoe 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Is the implication here that a mother without a degree is unable to raise successful children?

[–]Ok_Obligation_61101 Star 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Not trying to speak for this commenter but what I’m assuming they’re referring to is more akin to the fact that a child’s parents education is very much correlated to their child’s. Of course this isn’t exact, but parents who went to top tier colleges tend to have kids that go to top tier colleges more so than parents who didn’t. My husbands mother went to a 2 year college (which there’s nothing wrong with that at all, just using as an example) but both of her sons now have phds. With one having gone to 2 Ivy League schools. She’s an incredible anomaly. Most of my husbands peers in college were legacy, many of them had stay at home mothers who were highly educated and home schooled or were heavily involved in their education. This gave them a huge leg up in the process that my husband didn’t have. It’s not to say mothers without degrees can’t have successful children, it’s just easier to have your kids meet your own level of education than to exceed it.

[–]ddouchecanoe 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Most of my husbands peers in college were legacy, many of them had stay at home mothers who were highly educated and home schooled or were heavily involved in their education.

This could easily be due to the fact that they were home schooled, regardless of their parents education. A home schooled candidate is more likely to be accepted to an Ivy League College, simply because there are less of them. My best friend was home schooled and his two older brothers both attended Ivy League schools. One went to Princeton, one went to Yale.

Admittedly, I do not know their mothers education level, but my friend never found it notable enough to mention to me.

edit: I see your point though, we tend to remain in the environments we are raised in.

[–]Ok_Obligation_61101 Star 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

To be fair, many people who attend prestigious schools don’t feel the need to brag about it so it’s entirely possible their parents did. Idk that homeschooling is on a higher level of getting kids admitted to ivies than being legacy. Having attended yourself puts your kids at the biggest advantage far above anything else. You can definitely homeschool without having gone to a fancy school or attend college at all, but I rarely if ever have heard of a kid who wound up at a prestigious school with parents who didn’t attend college and homeschooled their kids. My husbands parents went to college and his mother only worked part time, didn’t go to fancy schools by any margin, but he happened to be in a top tier school district and THAT is what got him in. His parents didn’t have the experience to know how to help him be competitive in applications, it was only because he was surrounded by peers with parents who did go to prestigious schools, and a school with counselors that helped send several kids a year to the ivies. Just edited to see your edit, yes that’s the point I was trying to make! I think this is why there is a sect of HVM who do find their wife’s education particularly important even if not all of them do.

[–]Anonymous_fiend2 Stars 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A lot of men don't want women their career equal because they don't want a power struggle at home, a sjw, or a masculine women.Men care if a woman is cooperative, smart, caring, responsible, good looking, family oriented, has domestic skills, etc whether she has a degree or not. Sure some career women can still be pleasant and feminine but the workforce usually pushes women to emotional exhaustion. They don't have the same energy to contribute to a relationship and tend to be more stressed, overwhelmed, bitter, disrespectful to men, and resentful. If a man wants a sahm a career woman is a bad choice over a woman who specialized in learning domestic skills, isn't burnt out, and looks up to him. Career women usually don't want to settle down until their late 20s or early 30s. They don't take preparing for marriage as seriously as their career. They spent their youth, tons of $, time, and effort on a degree yet won't spend 1/2 of the to find a husband. And often they view their career as more important than their partner or it atleast they may not have as much free time. And refuse to date someone academically below them. Highly educated women don't like to submit and think it needs to be earned/is conditional. Men don't need someone "equal" they need someone compatible and complimentary.

Why do highly educated women deserve highly educated men over other women? What do they bring to the table that other women don't? Sucessful men don't care about a woman's income (since they are able to provide that) they care about her personality, femininity, wife skills, and looks. Women don't get to pick what men value. If the top 25% of men don't value career don't shame them by calling them insecure or controlling. Just figure out what men want and become it if you want want a man like this. Some masculine men don't mind having a career woman if she can leave her job at the door and prioritize her family.

[–]Columba-livia77 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

think it needs to be earned

It's a good thing that submission needs to be earned, the bar shouldn't be on the floor otherwise there'd be little driving men to be better. Your partner is allowed to judge your leadership skills if you're going to be the leader.

[–]Euphoric-Chain-51553 Star 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are masculine men in every state (although some states do have more than others), but your real issue is probably knowing where they hang out so you can fi d them.

How old are you and what state are you in?

[–]Brave-Awareness525 58 points59 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Imo date an athlete or bodybuilder, preferably one who does "manly" sports. My husband wrestled D1 in college at 195lbs and was captain of the college's club football team too.

He is pretty much the opposite of wimpy: he's big, muscular, a very masculine man. He works his ass off: all throughout high school and college he use to workout 4-5 hours a day, everyday, and still does workout that many hours sometimes. He works hard in his job too (he's a physical therapist for a college football team), and he's very handy with tools too and loves working on his or my car.

Oh, and also, the most masculine and admirable thing he's ever done for me - he saved my life. I was walking back from the restaurant we went to, and this car was about to hit me - he tackled me to the ground and ended up in a one week coma due to traumatic head injury.

Hes in touch with his feminine, more gentle side as well, which I really like. He does things like cooking, plays piano, etc.

But yes, anyways, go date an athlete, whether college or professional. They are EXTREMELY hardworking, masculine, and usually have traditional values such as yourself.

And since you want a man to protect and provide for you (e.g. pay for meals, etc.), you need to give back yourself. As the saying goes "keep his balls empty and his stomach full", and you will have a very happy husband! Good luck!

Edit: and these traditional, masculine men are literally everywhere! I live in Cali, and even here I found my husband in college. Don't give up on your search for an amazing man!

[–]Crushed_95 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

TBT stereotypically, Bodybuilders be some of the gayest men on this planet.

[–]Kali_skates 17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I never thought of this but I’m experiencing this now! My bf played college football and is the manliest man I’ve ever been with. He’s a provider. He works hard at work and then comes home to do more work around the house and yard. He has also said in the future he didn’t want me to have to work if I didn’t want to. He’s awesome!

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]rosesonthefloor3 Star 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely agree. I do think that the type of person to have the discipline to push themselves physically over a long period of time is likely to have discipline in other areas though, so it’s still a positive sign.

[–]SuperiorLake_ 21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This or a guy who is into hunting and fishing. He’ll provide for you and your family on a whole new level.

[–]Kaizen77 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's masculine men everywhere. Look for calm confident men. A man that dresses decently, yet no slave to fashion or flashy, a man that solves problems or at least willing to tackle obstacles. His actions often speak louder than his words.

[–]Taguzi 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Above 27-28 yo

[–]Malicious-charity 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Someone should start a dating site for people with this in mind lol

[–]One-Poem1346 17 points18 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

It's not just in the USA, I live in the Middle -East and a lot of Arab men are starting to be like that due to westernization...some guys think that it makes them more attractive I think...

[–]curiouslearner34 13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Oh really, I live in Europe and I'm so desperate to find a manly man

[–]bekkys 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Start looking outside the overcrowded city areas.

[–]curiouslearner34 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The funny thing is that I'm not living in such a big city

[–]yollim 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Any place with a high concentration of people, small cities, towns/villages, etc will start the metrosexual conversion - especially as internet becomes more easily accessible and cheaper. What exacerbates this the most, in my individual observation, is when public transit makes an appearance. I live in a small town outside the city about a 50min+ drive to the city core. A few weeks after we got a singular bus stop that runs only one day a week, the city-type weirdos were starting show up noticeably more frequently.

[–][deleted]  (8 children) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I want to be a housewife x

[–][deleted]  (6 children) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Easy as that hahs

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes haha it was a positive mind set group xx

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]LivelyLycheeModerator[M] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don’t pet the unicorns. Removed.

[–]MiracleMorni 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your world is your mirror so if you are only meeting feminine men try to ask yourself why you are attracting them. What belief do you hold (there are no good men) that keeps being confirmed? Unfortunately there is inner work to do but it will pay off. I can highly recommend content of Anna Rova on Medium and also her podcast Claimed to help you on your journey!! Hugs

[–]ddouchecanoe 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This seems so reasonable.

I find strong, traditional men all around me and I am in the largest city for 500 miles. I honestly believe it because I have blinders up for all of the others and I only notice the sexy conservative/traditional men around me. I prefer men to be more conservative than I am.

My partner and I have always had a dynamic with him having the more traditional/conservative beliefs. It has been great for me and our relationship.

[–]Scared-Tea-8911 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Come to Texas or Oklahoma - many conservative men with strong family values. 😊

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am wanting to move to Dallas for this exact reason! I am widowed 33 year old woman who wants a second chance at a family! I only like traditional/ provider type men. I am totally ok with adoption/ stepchildren too!

[–]EGOtyst 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Military bases and officers.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks so much for your input! I'm widowed a relatively young (33), and I really want to move to Dallas in hopes of creating a second life for myself. I heard from David Goggins that most of the navy seals come from Texas, so I thought to myself "that's where I need to move." I am in Miami right now and it is the ANTITHESIS of where I should be.

[–]Sunflowerdiva 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The recent movement of them whining about being Men and crying about the benefits of being a woman are making themselves look wimpy.

I’ve become meticulous with vetting men before going on dates. Any whiney-baby “Poor me” rhetoric let’s me know there’s no reason to waste my time.

Masculine men are out there, it’s just that the whiners and complainers are loud. Almost a squeaky wheel thing, but not quite.

[–]ddouchecanoe 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve become meticulous with vetting men before going on dates. Any whiney-baby “Poor me” rhetoric let’s me know there’s no reason to waste my time.

So curious about your method for vetting. Will you please share?

[–]MOSFETBJT 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A gym?

[–]ddouchecanoe 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Look for traditional/conservative men. Interests could be hunting, fishing, 4-wheel driving, church, welding, going to the range, camping, etc. possibly former military or a lot of military family.

They tend to congregate around the outer edge of big cities and beyond. Conservative men tend to be more traditional and hold that respect for women, provider type of mindset close to their hearts via upbringing and mom/dad relationship example.

[–]No-Professional-2455 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Come to Long Island NY very traditional

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

OP, you must engage with the post or it will be removed. We don't allow rants, you have to be looking for help.

[–]32vromeo 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I think it’s just the common standard that feminism has set over the years. I think maybe rp guys would be a place to start

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]LivelyLycheeModerator[M] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Rule 2: All posts and comments must be in good faith and Rule 10: No moralizing.

While it’s well-known around these parts that RPWs are not specifically trying to date RP men because we often have different goals, it’s also clearly stated in the sidebar that RP men are not “bad” for wanting sex, or pursuing their goals in amoral ways. Keep in mind that this is still an RP subreddit, and this kind of smear campaign and overall antagonistic attitude about TRP being “incels with a gun because their mon left their dad” isn’t tolerated around here. We still share the same theory and are two sides of the same coin. Removed.

[–]raspberryjam1 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I apologize for breaking both Rule 2 and Rule 10. Thank you for correcting me and removing my comment.

It was genuinely meant in good faith. I should have been much softer. That's something I'm working on. I didn't mean to imply that he was one of them (TRP men that have goals that don't line up with RPW and use amoral tactics to get them--- thank you). I meant to say that suggesting RPW start in a pool where those men (TRP men that have goals that don't line up with RPW and use amoral tactics to get them) are seemingly abundant seems like bad advice coming from and meant to benefit a RP man, not a RPW. Amoral seems... well, amoral... and therefore not someone a RPW would want to marry and have children with? I guess I'm still confused and need to read the sidebar more re: moralizing and TRP. I do want to understand. I will do that and not comment again on the topic until I have. I approached it much harsher than I meant to and appreciate the constructive feedback. Thank you for the direct link!

[–]LivelyLycheeModerator 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I appreciate your apology and it shows that you really didn’t have bad intentions! There’s just a lot of unnecessary bad blood between new RPW members and what they think TRP is like, which I wanted to dispel.

I don’t think you wanted to imply he was one of them but the misinformation about TRP in general was the reason why it was removed.

I meant to say that suggesting RPW start in a pool where those men (TRP men that have goals that don’t line up with RPW and use amoral tactics to get them) are seemingly abundant seems like bad advice coming from and meant to benefit a RP man, not a RPW.

If you just mentioned this, there would have absolutely been no problem with the comment and you are free to bring this up when you see it!

Amoral seems… well, amoral… and therefore not someone a RPW would want to marry and have children with?

The link I sent you in the last comment goes more in depth about this, but both TRP and RPW are amoral communities. In the same vein, anyone who comes here to shame women for pursuing their goals (getting married, having children, “locking” a man down) because it’s “manipulative” or it’s “unfair” will also be reprimanded. So what if it is, for both communities? The red pill for both camps is simply about accepting how the world works as it is, and doing whatever you can with that info to achieve your goals regardless of gender.

I will do that and not comment again on the topic until I have. I approached it much harsher than I meant to and appreciate the constructive feedback. Thank you for the direct link!

Thank you for having such a good attitude and for being willing to listen! It shows a lot about your character and makes me happy women like you are a part of this community. That link is a great place to start if you’re wondering about these issues and where to go from here :)

[–][deleted]  (6 children) | Copy Link

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[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are preaching to the choir here.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

OP doesn't want to be a "modern woman" - she literally said she wants to be a traditional housewife. The women on this sub actually want to be submissive and traditional. You sound bitter and deranged, this space isn't for you.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]LivelyLycheeModerator[M] 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No moralizing. Attraction cannot be negotiated, so if OP (and plenty of women who are like her) don’t find male feminist types attractive, then she’s free to look for something else.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Texas is great for that, especially at church or any conservative conservative groups.

[–]z_forzombie 0 points1 point locked comment (7 children) | Copy Link

Yeah... and I'm assuming theres got to be a chunk of pro-choice women that are leaving. .... so. Yeah.. theyll probably need some more to come in

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Seems unlikely that those women would be in the same category as an RPW looking for a traditional man.

Which is to say, I fail to see the relevance of this.

[–]z_forzombie 0 points1 point locked comment (5 children) | Copy Link

...... that's the point. If 15% of the women leave texas over that..... then there would be 15% less women in texas... so. In theory ... if the men out number the women in the state .... then she would have good chances of finding and landing herself a good guy.... odds would be even more in her favor.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Conservative men found at a church in Texas won't give a flip about the pro-choice advocates leaving the state. Those women were never competition for her. Thus they are completely irrelevant.

[–][deleted] locked comment (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's a disconnect in values. You seem pretty mad that I pointed out that pro-choice women may not be desirable partners for pro-life men.

And on RPW we know that getting fucked isn't really a prize. We recommend women do not sleep around excessively and instead seek out men who want to commit to them. That means having similar values.

I'm well aware of how pro-choice works. I volunteered as an escort for Planned Parenthood when I was in my 20s. I'm not sure you understand how pro-life works though if you think that it is an area that you and your partner can have opposing viewpoints and he'll still want to commit to you. Unless you are just in it for the casual sex. In which case...you do you but we try to be better than that here.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What state/city are you currently in?

[–]KingOfTheNightfort 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can’t speak about the US, but you’ll find a lot in Eastern Europe and the Balkans.

[–]TheBunk_TB 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Would I get flak from saying a "State of Bliss"?

Seriously, I imagine that there are stereotypically "traditionally heavy" areas but I don't imagine that there is a hard census to prove anyone right.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see your point of view as well. I find that even in Asian countries now, the traditional men are dying & we’re left with these men with feminine temperament that would cry bloody murder at the thought of their spouse / sig o wanting to be a housewife.

[–]Remarkable-Row-2288 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You could also ask the weak men if they would be comfortable Changing a few bits of themselves. If they are weak, take them to the gym.

[–]SplenduhP0py 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Im curious what you see that qualifies as “modern, effeminate, and weak”

Also, i want to provide a housewife life style for my future wife, but that in itself is hard work too.

[–]LaneyAndPen 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men have always come in different flavours, shapes and sizes. You’re being absolutely stupid if you think men have always been like lumberjacks, very often they were what you might think of as effeminate. Also you forget that women need to work hard too to earn their keep

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have never, ever, ever split bills with a man in my life. I've lived in CA (including LA), NY (including NYC), PA (Pittsburgh and Philly), VA (including DC). This is 100% about the men you attract and the energy you put out. Men would literally never dream of letting a feminine woman pay. It's just incredibly emasculating for them.

I work in healthcare so there's a decent chance my salary is higher than many of the men I date (professionals still but engineers/software developers/even some lawyers make less than nurses/doctors/pharmacists/PAs) and they still insist on paying. The key is to always be feminine and have traditional manners. Imagine Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, or any of the old Hollywood stars. Would any man in their right mind ask them to split bills 50-50? Never. It's about your aura. Literally any man (young/old, tall/short, liberal/conservative even employed/unemployed) will not let a woman pay if she is very clearly feminine. Think about the atmosphere you create during your dates and the energy you give off.

[–]Theyogithatcould 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's not the state they're living in, but the profession they're working in. Healthcare, military, engineering.. Look for them in roles that took alot to get there/stay there. Those are your hard working, goal setting, fit in mind AND body, MANLY men.

[–]PatchThePiracy 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stop dating progressive leftists.

[–]hsvbamabeau 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’re not looking for a partner, you’re looking for a pimp.

[–]fabdancer95 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Date a cop

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel your pain they are so hard to find! I wish you luck tho!

[–]Rambinger 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This sub is crazy.. I hope you all find the incels you deserve

[–]Odd-Membership6020 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men are being brainwashed to be weak now

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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