http://redditlog.com/snapshots/873525
7 weeks of having sex less than once every two weeks, and the wife leaves for a 10 day work trip.
Husband sends email basically stating that he won't miss his wife for the next 10 days (wife's words) and attaches spreadsheet to wife's work email (to ensure she got it) of every time he has initiates sex in the past 7 weeks, whether sex was had, and if it wasn't, what the reason for it not happening from the woman's side was.
The first thing the wife says is that this is a side of her husband that she has never seen before. She describes him as being bitter, immature, and full of hatred.
Our sex life HAS tapered in the last few months, but isn't that allowed?
We are adults leading busy, stressful lives. I cook for him, I do his laundry, I keep our house clean and tidy. It's not like our sex life was going to be this way FOREVER
This is where we are at with women, folks.
The first reply to the thread is by a prominent female user of /r/relationships. This user has been on /r/relationships for an extremely long time, always having highly upvoted posts. Her reply is the most upvoted reply with 150 points.
If someone had constructed a spreadsheet of reasons why I wouldn't have sex with them, it would make me instantly want to pounce on their cock and worship them like the god of sex they clearly are. No wait - it would make me feel nauseous and like I didn't want them anywhere near me. That's beyond pathetic.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that anyone with a semblance of and understanding of how relationships work would know that the husband in the situation isn't after sex anymore. He's clearly taking a nuclear option. How far he will go down that path is unknown. But it's clear that his goal isn't to convince his wife to fuck him by sending her a spreadsheet. This is something that /u/LittleMissP seemed to overlook, and similarly something that /r/relationship users upvoted. This says a lot about that community.
I'm going to take a detour and talk about the whole situation this guy finds himself in, and people's perception of him.
The red pill truth is that he is a beta. He is already unattractive because he is unable to get sex from his wife. People aren't stupid. Women especially. Even more so women that have been with lots of men.
They connect the dots. Regardless of if they are thinking about it at the forefront of their mind, or subconsciously.
The fact that he cannot get sex from his wife often implies many things. Selection bias comes in to play. On top of that, women are biologically constructed machines aimed at surviving and producing offspring. They will smell his SMV from a mile away.
Take a look at how they described him. His wife described the email that he wrote as a sarcastic diatribe, and described him as bitter, immature, and full of hatred. /u/LittleMissP described him as beyond pathetic.
For what? He bought a house with her, he has a job, he doesn't hit her, he doesn't call her names, he doesn't abuse her. How do we know that? Oh, you can bet that those are true or else the professional victim OP would have been all over them in her post.
Realistically that husband, or someone else in his position would try to take the correct channel in fixing a problem. Specifically the blue pill strategy that they think is correct. Being nice to their wife, not stepping on her toes, legitimately asking for sex. And then when the sex wouldn't happen, he would try to fix what's stopping it. If his wife is tired, he would let her sleep so that they could have sex after, only for her to wake up with another excuse. She's full, but after she's better, she wants to watch a FRIENDS rerun. This blue pill man more or less took this path, and the next logical step in the correct approach path. Every time one excuse was solved, another would pop up. He detailed all of the excuses and sent it to her to show her that he can't solve all of her excuses. He is looking for her to give him an opening of the next thing that he could solve to get sex. He sees sex as a reward and knows that he must do something to attain it.
What was /u/LittleMissP's advice?
And that would be the point to have a clothes on conversation about your concerns. Not construct a spreadsheet that you email as she leaves the country for 10 days.
Let me ask this. What would be the point of having a clothed conversation? Wife agrees to sex with husband 3 times in 7 weeks. Wife rejects husband's advances 24 times. She doesn't re-initiate sex. Actually, she never initiates sex. She isn't concerned with satisfying her husband before leaving for a 10 day work trip. She is unconcerned about his emotional well being and never mentioned once how he feels.
LittleMissP followed up with:
If he is so hurt and damaged by her rejecting him so much (which isn't me being snarky - being rejected constantly is pretty hard on the self esteem) then he should have told her how awful he was feeling
Yes, apparently the wife is too stupid to tell that he is hurt and damaged by being rejected 24 times in the span of 7 weeks. He needs to tell her. There is no way that she could use 10 brain cells to figure that out on her own.
Be very careful with these people that subscribe to the ideology of verbal communication for everything. Non-verbal communication is just that, non-verbal communication. The wife has communicated that she really couldn't give a flying fuck about her husband's sexual satisfaction.
The supposed solution to this problem would be to talk to her about it verbally with something like what a user in that thread posted:
Babe, I've been keeping count, it's been 3 times in the past 2 months. I'm getting shot down 9 times out of 10. The lack of any sort of intimacy is way more of a problem than you seem to understand
First of all, he wouldn't have the strength to stomach it all and call her babe. Frankly, I think that anyone that stomachs this kind of stuff is a doormat. I think that the reason why I and a lot of red pill men consistently get what we want is because we don't' stomach anything and we demand what we want; scratch that, we attain what we desire. I don't demand respect, I instill it. I don't ask for sex, I make her crave it. That is the difference between trying to be nice to get something, and actually going and getting it.
Well, with that response that the user suggested, he would still get ostracized for "counting". And what would she reply with? "I can't believe how wrong I was, what have I done?". Of course not. All that he would achieve would be to simply bring it up.
He knew about it, she knew about it. Great, you have now verbally pointed out that there is an elephant in the room, that you both knew was there the whole time. Guess what, the elephant didn't leave the room just because you pointed him out. The core problem will persist.
And this is where blue pill strategizing will lead you. Not only did you stomach getting rejected 24 times in 7 weeks while trying to do the right thing, not pressuring her into sex, trying to fix what was stopping the sex, but you actively tried 24 times, failing each time.
God forbid that you feel a little bitter that your whole life you were told that love triumphs all. That something like this could never happen if you had a job, got a house with your wife, didn't abuse her or anything like that. You did nothing wrong, you did everything according to the way society told you that you should do it, and now you're in a sexless marriage.
This is actually the man's first step into dark territory. This is the first time that he has stepped out and done something against what society told him was the right thing to do. This is the first step that he took into potentially leading a red pill life. He knew the societal repercussions and he still took that step.
What did his wife say before?
Our sex life HAS tapered in the last few months, but isn't that allowed?
We are adults leading busy, stressful lives. I cook for him, I do his laundry, I keep our house clean and tidy. It's not like our sex life was going to be this way FOREVER
This is where we are at folks. As the red pill has been preaching for some time now, you can clearly see this sentiment unequivocally being expressed by a married woman. During a marriage, women are allowed to turn down the sex. Let this be a warning for you. I want you to remember this along with all of the other things that Red Pill preaches years from now when you are thinking of getting married. And then cup your balls and have a good feel, because those won't be there once you sign the marriage contract.
I will be posting a sort of follow up to this when I have time, stay tuned for that
To anyone reading this that is living in a similar situation.
You don't have to keep living life that way. There is another way. I have a girl right now that is literally begging me to suck me off and cum on her face. You don't have to live a life where you have to ask for sex only to be rejected. Come live life with me on my side where you will enjoy it, and women will actually enjoy and crave your company. Can you remember the last time your wife craved you? There are lots of girls that I have slept with in the past, after which I proceeded to go AWOL; I still get snapchats from them. I didn't keep them around for one reason or another because I wanted to enjoy my life as much as I could. And while I enjoyed my life with them, I moved on to other girls and things that I enjoyed even more. Whereas you are living a life now with someone that you do not enjoy, I am cherry picking what I enjoy the most. You don't have to live life the way you do now.
And to end things on a bright note, some people over at /r/relationships did know what they were talking about to an extent. Here was my favorite response:
OP, your husband doesn't give a shit about the house being clean or tidy. He'd rather get a blowjob.
If you don't believe me, go spend some time at /r/deadbedrooms
Seriously if you are being honest about being "too busy cleaning" to have sex, stop. fucking. cleaning. You are fucking up your marriage.
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