She doesn't love you.

Conphas · 2013-11-10T16:39:27+00:00

I usually lurk, but I logged in just to comment on this. Many years ago as a young NCO in the Marine Corps, I had to attend a day-long workshop that was heavily based on Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Now, without looking them up, the only one that I remember is 'Sharpen the Saw', which I understood to mean periodically refreshing ourselves with the concepts that we shouldn't forget (as well as getting exposure to new ones) so we can maintain a level of excellence over the long term.

I've set aside a portion of each day for the last few months to spend here. This has got me back in the gym, doing a little bjj when I'm not crushed with homework, and most importantly, refusing to help the women who only seem to remember who I am when they need math help unless they are willing to reciprocate with something I want. I guess I'm just trying to say that it is exactly for posts like 'She Doesn't Love You' that I come here, even if I've been exposed to the idea at some earlier point in my reading. Gotta sharpen that saw, so I don't forget.

More posts like these, please.

scottishredpill · 2013-11-10T16:11:49+00:00

Want to see this in action? Heavily game a married women.

Stayinghereforreal · 2013-11-10T18:32:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

md619 · 2013-11-10T18:00:01+00:00

You know, I think an unfortunate truth that a lot of guys around here are unwilling or refuse to accept is we can't have it both ways. We can't have a society like we currently do where the price for pussy is so unbelievably low, where women will sleep with men at the drop of the hat, and promiscuity is completely encouraged and still want to find The One™ and believe in True Love™. It just doesn't work.

Sleeping around fucks women up. They can't pair-bond as easily. They lose the piece of themselves that can effectively love a man. As long as we are taking advantage of their relative easiness these days, there will be long lines of broken women left in the wake for some beta to try and turn into a respectable housewife.

Guys like us are part of the problem (although a smaller one than betas and feminists, I imagine). If tomorrow men who routinely sleep with multiple women said "No mas" then you would see a shift back to traditional values, like the conservative circlejerk fantasy. Problem is, we all like sex, it's in our blood, and that day is never going to come.

You can have your Goethean romance or you can have clubsluts on your dick every other night. You can't have both. And our current society has most definitely moved in the latter direction.

Act accordingly.

SoftHarem · 2013-11-10T16:59:01+00:00

[permanently deleted]

brauli0 · 2013-11-10T20:47:36+00:00

Love is real. It just isn't permanent, it's fluid. Love for anything, a person, your family, your own damn mother, your country, your hometown... it can all change if the object of your love changes. Anyone can fall in and out of love, love is never secure.

The problem is, men want that binary type of love. They want to be able to fall in love, have a girl fall in love, and have that girl love them NO MATTER WHAT. They want the girl to love them when they grow fat, when their work ethic fades, when they no longer fuck like they used to. They want that girl to be their sexy cooking cleaning slut even as they are a shadow of a man they were in their early twenties.

It's pure mental laziness. Men and women do it both, IDK who does it more but its irrelevant. Men want to be loved for their flaws - as do women. Look around the net, you see all this shit about "Yeah, she's crazy, she's rude, she's irrational, she's sweet, she's no longer as sexy as she was, she nags, but I love all of that. I love her good side and her bad side."

No. That's not love. That is tolerance and desperation - you love her bad side because if you didn't, you would have to face the fact that you should break up, and you are terrified of being pussyless.

This is how most women love most men. Your women loves you for your good side, and may ACT like she finds your bad side endearing or sweet, but in truth it makes her sick. Let your bad side (beta traits, your need for her approval, and worst of all, you're middle aged LAZINESS) grow, and bam, you will have a women who loves you, but isn't "in love".

Which leads us back to the point: She doesn't love you, she loves your greatness. It's real - when you call her on her bullshit, give her a rollercoaster ride of emotions, fuck her good, then you leave to work on your passion alone because you are too driven to cuddle all day, she is fucking in love. It's not a lie, she feels love and she feels it so strongly that it consumes her.

And that love gives you a LITTLE wiggle room. One apology per year. One "beta moment" per decade. Once in a while, you can let her choose what she wants to do for a date. Once in a blue moon, you can sit around and watch TV and drink beer, and skip the gym. You can let her emotionally support you once every new president.

But it's far, far better to never slip up. Because you will start pushing it, to see how much you can get away with, to see whether she loves you for you, or loves you for your values and qualities. You do not want to know the answer.

Basically, TLDR is that love exists. But don't be a goddamn pinterest chick - your partner doesn't love your weaknesses, she loves your strengths. When someone comes along who has more strengths and less weaknesses, all of a sudden, her "love" will shift. This is why you need the passion to be the best, to be great.

p3ndulum · 2013-11-10T17:03:24+00:00

Sticky?

Mitchell78 · 2013-11-10T18:36:30+00:00

Maintain attraction or GYOW and don't bother anymore.

BloodRoseTRP · 2013-11-10T18:28:34+00:00

thanks for that. Just got dumped, it helps my self esteem some to remember that it ain't me that got dumped, but the lack of display of what the chick wanted.

General_Fear · 2013-11-10T18:28:55+00:00

I have a different take on a similar topic. Your typical woman thinks that she deserves Brad Pitt with Bill Gates money. Anyone less than that is settling. When they hit 30 and the perfect man does not appear, women compromise. The guy has to be male with a pulse. If you marry that women, in the back of her mind, you are not good enough. She will think to herself, he is okay but he is no Brad Pitt. She bits the bullet and puts up with you because she wants a kid.

Then when the kids are grown and can take care of themselves, there is an incident that is the last straw and she leaves you. All the while she thinks that she is going the find the one. Ya, a 40+ women with a kids is going to compete with a 20 year old.

Guys never marry and never live with a woman. There is no one good enough in this country for the typical American woman. Why marry one of these women if she never wanted you in the first place.

redpill80 · 2013-11-10T19:57:45+00:00

While that's true, I'd like to add an addendum. Whether she like you, your attraction, your "balance," or whatever, a girl who is in love with her alpha loves him more vigorously and intensely than I've ever seen a man love a woman. She is almost literally attached to him- this is why "alpha widows" are so prevalent and still pine for their men years later.

flaflaflunky · 2013-11-10T22:43:28+00:00

if you're a Heinz 57 like most of us

What do you mean exactly? Sorry, I'm new here.

masterrod · 2013-11-10T17:05:06+00:00

I think this is why i stopped reading this stuff..

You post is half truth... Love and attraction are two totally different emotions. Yes she's attracted to your leadership. But she loves the balance between you two even more..

In pickup it's mostly about leadership, . But in relationships it's about balance, and 2 people trying to keep that balance. Sure she might cheat on you, or whatever. However, you must understand even though she's a woman, and that's a whole thing, she still has the capacity to choose.

The loyalty you talk about is funny. Women are definitely loyal, but only loyal to balance. And unfortunately compared to popular belief on this reddit, balance is a little bit of beta and a little bit of alpha.

LadyLumen · 2013-11-14T16:12:31+00:00

Aren't love and Dopamine connected? Let's say you fall in love with a beautiful young woman who is nice to you, and that makes you feel pretty awesome. Does this mean that the excitement she gives you isn't really love, it's just neural action in the brain? To some level, everything is just a neurological reaction. Love is a matrix, a complex web tied together by many things and hard to simplify.

Maybe instead of saying "she doesn't love you," you should say, "don't assume anything will last forever."

_whistler · 2013-11-10T16:22:35+00:00

A well-spoken and always necessary reminder, SH. This post would probably quash at least 50% of the questions over at /r/AskTRP. Just keep this in mind and it makes reading and dealing with women so damn clear.

CptConfused · 2013-11-11T01:00:32+00:00

Recently I was thinking about this, I've just been finishing all the required reading on our side bar and I came to realise something quite terrible for our future.

What's going to happen to our children? I don't know about most of you guys, but I want to raise kids and I want to raise them better than anybody else can. I realise now that women even though they are the mothers and claim to be more aware of maternal duties than men, just completely disregard the importance of fatherhood.

Is there really no woman out there who isn't thinking of the children in regards to how they are raised in the world and not whether the opposite sex who inseminated them has "good genes" or not? Because good genes are not real, its just our ability to survive and survive well in the current world. We know that our bodies haven't evolved as rapidly as the industrial revolution has, its all in our ability to be top of the food chain, top of the triangle, top of the ladder, above the rest.

Does a woman not realise that we need her loyalty and maturity in order to raise a new generation? Women are reckless, feminism is a curse. When is someone big out there going to put this all to a stop? Like a president or something? Someone who can make divorce a game, who can lower the rape paranoia, who can just put an end to woman's reckless sense of entitlement?

The next generation will be worse than ours, a generation of even more accidents with no fathers raised by women. Shit the future might just be run by women. Or maybe there will just be no future and our civilization will die out. Feminism might just be the undertone for mental illness, war and frustration.

veggie_girl · 2013-11-17T04:03:16+00:00

But SofthHarem, there are lots of feminine and loyal women out there looking for a good man. They just happen to all be the size of an orbiting moon or have as many craters in their face as one.

An attractive woman is extremely loyal to one thing: her emotions. That is why it's so easy for the media/politics/advertising to control women. The man who can control a woman's emotions like a light switch will be the man that he's whatever he wants from her. Problem is with attractive women there are 100 other guys all trying to gain that control. The fatties are only loyal because they don't have anyone else pining for them.

Wolfy_Rescue · 2013-12-06T07:38:41+00:00

Hi all, I'm new here, and this happened to be the first post I came across. Although I don't personally agree with all of this, I do agree with the idea of "Sharpening the Saw" that /u/conphas mentioned, which includes listening to/thinking about points of view that differ from your own. In keeping with that idea, I'd like to tell my story, which seems a bit contrary to the views expressed above. I'd like to mention that I'm not here to troll or hate or whatever; rather, I'd like to have an honest, intelligent discussion (and from reading the comments below, I know this is a place where I can).

I'd like to start out by saying that yes, I am a female. However, I am not a feminist. For my part, I have never ended a relationship (except in one case, which I will explain below), though I have been dumped many times. A couple of years ago, I met a man that I soon realized was the most wonderful person I've ever had the chance to know, and after talking for a couple of months, we started dating. To be completely open and honest with you all, although this article says otherwise (maybe I'm a defective female?), I really loved this man with every bit of my heart. I gave up my family (who disliked him) and friends to be with him, and I'd have followed him to the ends of the earth if he had asked. I never had any problems with loyalty to him (and never in my relationships before), because there is honestly not another person in this world that could replace him (also, we hadn't had sex and I wasn't after sex or anything like that, though even now there's no way I'd trade sex with him for anything). The problem was, I quickly began to see many of the issues you have discussed here arising in my relationship. Once he had secured me as his girlfriend, he began to lose interest in me (for reference, although I don't really agree with them, I've had quite a few men tell me I'm very attractive? So it wasn't an issue of me not being attractive). I tried my best to be everything and anything he wanted, and in the end he cheated on me for a few months and left me for another girl who was much less loyal (she cheated on him as well). Over the course of the next couple of years, I kind of dated another guy (I don't know that he counts as a man? In all the time that we talked and dated, he never acted as anything more than a good friend/friend with benefits), but even with that, I tried to remain as loyal to the first man as I could (the girl he cheated on me with was very controlling to him, so it was difficult). After some time, when he decided he was tired of the other girl, I left the guy I had been dating (the only time I've ever ended a relationship) to return to the man I'd loved for all that time. I bore years of having to be "just friends" with this man, all for love. To this day, I'll still do whatever he wants, but not because of some kind of dominant conditioning that he uses to "train" me to be a good woman. He treats me as his equal (though I do enjoy being submissive to him at times), and I genuinely love him for it, even though he has done to me what many women have done to you all here.

I suppose I just wanted to get my story out there to let you know that while some women definitely are the way you've described above, and a are only interested in pleasure and such, not all of us are, myself being (I would hope) a prime example. Also, I'd like to mention (as I pointed out a bit in my story) that some men can be just as bad as the women you've described in this post. Some men honestly only care about pleasure, and not about love at all (and it makes me really sad to say, but it seems like a couple of you could be swinging that way due to bad past experiences), but I think you'd agree that many men out there aren't that way at all.

I think the problem is that human beings generally tend to be at least a little shitty and self-centered, and this goes for both sexes. The solution to this problem isn't to become the very monster you've described by (like these women) seeking out women solely for one-night-stands or short-term relationships based solely around sex and pleasure. The real solution, in my opinion, is to rise about it all and set a better example. Just because all my previous boyfriends left me, doesn't mean I'm going to deny that relationships are worthwhile and can go well. Just because I was cheated on, in the same, unfortunate way that so many of you have described, doesn't mean I'm going to abandon the ideas of love and loyalty and marriage, and instead go sleep around with as many men as I can,thereby perpetuating the very ideals that caused my problems. Instead of lowering myself to that level, I am going to choose to rise above it, as all of you can, too. You all consider yourselves "alphas", right? The dominant fraction of males.The leaders. Instead of lowering yourselves to the level of the immoral, disloyal people who sleep around and wreak havoc, rise above it, and set the example that all men should strive for.

I apologize for the Great Wall of Text, but I wanted to share that with you all. Please feel free to discuss any parts of this with me, as (I'll repeat) I'm not here to troll/shame/etc., and I'm not a feminist or feminist-supporter in any way. This is merely the humble opinion of an outsider, submitted to you as a polite way to perhaps "Sharpen the Saw".

PaulRivers10 · 2013-11-11T21:05:58+00:00

Oh, what a bunch of crap.

This belongs in MGTOW, not Red Pill.

There are beautiful women that have no loyalty past their own narcissism, and there are interesting seeming men that do as well. Your complaining is just as emtpy and meaningless as women complaining that "all men are pigs" and "all men will cheat on you", bla bla bla.

"no attractive woman will ever love you" is not red pill. Red Pill is that that's the case for a few women, and for all women there are certain factors that cause her to fall in or out of love with you.

I hate it when I see Red Pill stuff devolve into the self-imposed pityfest that so much of feminism and women complaining about imagined slights is. You know how you find a woman who stays in love with you is? Have the qualities that are attractive to her be things that you actually like about yourself. Yeah, you have to wade through a bunch of b.s. about the things she thinks she wants but she doesn't really care about, but that's life.

2013-11-12T20:31:50+00:00

Feminism is less attractive women lowering the value of attractive women by saying that being a "slut" is OK.

magicalbird · 2013-11-10T17:57:58+00:00

don't fucking talk to me about this unicorn you heard about from a friend of a friend. We deal in probabilities in this community, and it is highly unlikely you are going to meet an attractive woman with any sort of loyalty.

Know everything has an expiration date. Did you explain it this bitterly SH to really drive it into the newbie's heads?

Zorkamork · 2013-11-11T03:34:57+00:00

Then is this also true that men don't love women but only love their attraction to women?

TPapp · 2013-11-10T18:04:48+00:00

Troof. Probably the most succinct explanation of women ever.

nubswag · 2013-11-17T03:23:43+00:00

How does this not cause anyone to be very pessimistic towards women? Sure you can do all this and get laid but who cares? You will never be fulfilled even if you had every women, ever. I just can't see the point if women are this fucked up. why shouldn't I just focus on things that make me happy like nature or travelling?

CalvinHobb3s · 2014-03-03T03:20:39+00:00

I'm new to this subreddit. But my god, this is just some redundant shit packaged very weirdly. You guys are simply playing semantics with the word "love" and pretending like you're spreading a groundbreaking gospel. First of all, love is such an ambiguous and subjective term.

"She doesn't love you, she only loves her attraction to you" no.shit Even your own mother doesn't love your flaws and imperfections. We all are attracted to people who's positive traits that add value and pleasure to our lives outweigh their negative qualities which repulse us. "Love" is just when we happen to find someone that has an unusually high tip in the scales. Does anyone love somebody completely, one-hundred percent just for that humans pure existence?

I'm sorry, this post just confused the shit out of me. It's like OP was trying to define love and at the same time reiterating age old alpha vs. beta and why women cheat. I think that something left out of this post was how personality chemistry works too. But that's a whole different subject.

BRENDORVEGAS · 2013-11-10T20:33:34+00:00

Damn. That's some truth right there.

fuk_offe · 2013-11-11T01:14:47+00:00

This is so true... Yet so sad at the same time... But truth nonetheless...

SeniorPootin · 2013-11-11T16:02:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

IM_PRETTY_RACIST · 2013-11-13T03:10:48+00:00

The problem with this is that its a generalization of all women as disloyal. If you have a TRP girl in a LTR, don't throw it out. They're not as rare as OP makes them out to be.

watersign · 2013-11-10T17:26:09+00:00

Instant classic

2014-04-30T13:33:00+00:00

What if I want a family?

chaotemagick · 2014-01-04T19:31:53+00:00

Just found out about this community and I've been out of my game phase for a few years, but everything you said is spot on, un/fortunately.

LMS_THEORY_ · 2013-11-16T22:11:28+00:00

So you're saying we should focus on Improving and Maintain Looks to maintain attraction?

I agree totally with this if that's your point. Looks, Money, & Status.

DanReggins · 2013-12-30T15:35:09+00:00

Are you Canadian?

This was painful to read, but well written. Good job.

pontifx · 2013-11-11T06:35:39+00:00

The irony of this post is you talk about the power of your magnitude and the fact she loves the interface in which she perceives alive with electricity of your planned resistance to her needs and yet you finish it by stating your misunderstanding that finding loyalty is like finding a unicorn.

Loyalty is a game much harder than sexual access yes, but a different type of game none the less.

Also remember you don't love her. You love your interface.

SoftHarem · 2013-11-10T17:43:53+00:00

SoftHarem tl;dr

2014-01-02T07:47:03+00:00

40ish women and giving this advice? No wonder this advice is shit! I've dated over 100+ women, literally lost count and love is definitely real. Women aren't these robotic creatures you think they are. A lot of bitterness in this subreddit. I smell butthurt nerds who are angry for some revenge. Take all you read with a grain of salt gentlemen.

MrStinky · 2013-11-10T21:55:43+00:00

Also, ladies, we don't want your advice. If you want to drop some "truth" about how there are all kinds of attractive and feminine women out there and we're just going after the insecure bar sluts I will swiftly remove your cliche cellulite ridden ass from our community

Amen

brauli0 · 2013-11-11T16:15:28+00:00

You guys have your shit together. I like it.

2013-11-11T16:53:02+00:00

Hell yes. We needed this post.

anal_cyst · 2013-11-16T16:37:35+00:00

I wouldn't say women aren't capable of love. I would say based on my personal experience that

women's love is selfish.
it's transient.

Plott · 2013-11-25T04:14:34+00:00

so am i wrong in believing this. i'm 19 and im a virgin. i'm good looking i'm just a virgin by choice because partially due to religion and partially due to the fact that i want to give my wife my virginity. i'm hoping to fall in love with a girl. give her my everything. clean the dishes for her some days and just be a loving husband. i hope to have her do the same. you know love me for who i am. love everything about me.

i just cant help but believe this thread is real though. a girl just broke up with me. in the beginning i was "playing the game" (so to speak) like not texting her back all the time and telling her how i felt when she wouldnt text me. eventually i quit doing all this and i noticed she would text me less and less. now i was bringing her flowers and buying her things. but i was being "needy" of her love. texting her every chance i got and stuff.

it just seems like at first i was the new guy. hot and stuff and throwing all this "game" at her she had never heard before and flattering her. then i became sort of needy and saying more lovey dovey stuff (how shes the greatest girl and stuff. you know cute but clingy stuff, instead of cute but gamey) she even thought i was a player at first which probably kind of excited her. then when she saw i was just a gentle bear, who wanted to love on her and stuff, bam she was out of it.

TrueGrey · 2013-12-18T21:01:48+00:00

Fantastic post with damn good advice and an unintuitive outcome:

Your post gave me incurable oneitis by making me realize how rare my girlfriend's unicorn status really is, before I nexted the first girl for whom that would have been a mistake.

Thank you.

iDontShift · 2013-11-10T18:53:36+00:00

how can she love you when you don't love you?

when you love you, then she will also love you

you are confused that you think she only loves you when your doing what you love, but that is when you love being you.

she can't give you anything you don't have

if you are standing there ready to leap and think that is how things are, then that is how you will find them to be

you get what you give, you will find what you are, not as things are

i'm pointing at something, don't read the words

Nemester · 2013-11-10T21:56:13+00:00

Great post softharem. I would not be opposed to deletion and/or banning of people who use the NAWALT argument. As you said, it is a distraction and exceptions don't break the rule. We all know there are rare exceptions (rare being the keyword.) I fully support ban hammering those comments.

Elecroam · 2013-11-13T02:50:48+00:00

I love that you're getting so many downvotes. Blue pill trolls just coming around, as if it will make a difference when the truth is already out.

This is an amazing write up and a complete truth that I plan on sharing with some of my friends who are on the fence.

fistbang · 2013-11-14T01:38:34+00:00

Right the Fuck On OP! Preach it.

Tastysalad101 · 2013-11-10T23:44:25+00:00

It depressing but i agree, there's no point even wasting time with women in my opinion even just for sex seems like a waste of time plus there's that false rape accusations that seem to be on the rise lately so i've just given up.

Porteroso · 2013-11-12T06:14:38+00:00

Fucking church. Preach it.

nbgoldring · 2013-11-12T10:02:30+00:00

Whoah, this is super depressing...

jakethesnake76 · 2013-11-13T14:36:52+00:00

We deal in probabilities in this community, and it is highly unlikely you are going to meet an attractive woman with any sort of loyalty.

i disagree ,women never were loyal ,that's a manly trait, women got the best provider they could or that their fathers offered them. Only after women's emancipation have women had freedom to talk about love which is just a euphemism for them, they don't know what loyalty mans, what looks like loyalty to us from the old days is just women who got the best they could.

that-hOaX-guy · 2013-11-11T03:02:30+00:00

"And please, for the love of FSM"... You made me giggle.

barryhill · 2014-01-09T20:55:22+00:00

well, shit...there's NO such things as unicorns in california. i somehow feel saddened, but helped at the same time because of this post. it has my upvote!

Tri4rius · 2013-11-13T13:55:00+00:00

You sir spoke like a true BADASS. Respect and obedience!

Title	She doesn't love you.
Author	SoftHarem
Upvotes	608
Comments	314
Date	November 10, 2013 4:08 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1qb7mi/she_doesnt_love_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/she-doesnt-love-you.7827 https://theredarchive.com/post/7827

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