The never ending shit tests I have experienced while losing weight

BlackJ1 · 2017-06-15T00:56:06+00:00

Crab bucket mentality.

When you start to improve it makes other people realize their own faults. Misery really does love company.

Just look out for the ones that support and encourage you to as they are ones who truly care about you.

badhairguy · 2017-06-15T00:56:44+00:00

Nobody likes it when you make them feel fat and lazy. Haters gonna hate.

EZikez · 2017-06-15T00:58:14+00:00

Month 5 the attack of the shit tests, the first clearly obvious shit test came from a bitch I have known since high school at a house party, she said "Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

What a Fuck-Up Bitch! Why would a person say that to anyone, even to an enemy.

AnonymousAndLovinIt · 2017-06-15T01:57:13+00:00

People will fight you on the road to improving yourself. It's such an eye opener. Once you surpass people who were better than you, though, it starts to get sobering how they just fell behind.

6 months in I have experienced a shit test from my Mum this time claiming " god you have lost some weight, are you ill or something??

That sounds like genuine concern, not a shit test.

theberg76 · 2017-06-15T00:32:24+00:00

Fuck that noise man. I'm down almost 80 and I've been running into the same situations.

ransay3277 · 2017-06-15T00:49:06+00:00

Same here. When I started that just stop stuffing my fat face diet, I've been getting the same. (Just stopped drinking soda and substituting water and lost 13 pounds.) They are projecting.

gradchad · 2017-06-15T04:47:08+00:00

That's one red pill I swallowed long ago. People can't stand a man improving his life; they'd rather have me sedated by digital entertainment, porn and drugs.

BenGrowinGreens · 2017-06-15T01:11:23+00:00

I feel like a lot of it is subconscious. From what I read it seems like women are the most heinous culprits of your shit testing. Besides the situation with your friend and McDonald's, those situations all seem like negging situations. They're complimenting you but slighting you at the same time. It's like they're trying to reaffirm that you're still not shit whilst also recognizing that you are existing on a spectrum of improvement. This is threatening to the status quo of others and to the superiority that they cling to by at least being "better than fat people." They're not improving their position in life. You are. Subconsciously they want to keep you down. If they do then they will not be forced to look at the aspects of themselves they wish to improve.

[deleted] · 2017-06-15T02:44:17+00:00

Crabs in a bucket mentality at it's finest. I have always been in shape and never been fat and I still get shit tests from people. Whether it be about going to a fast food place, or saying I have "glamour muscles."

Honestly, those type of people are pathetic.

Joel928 · 2017-06-15T06:01:11+00:00

It gets better - when you keep it off (even for yeeears) people will get a sick pleasure of talking about you being fat. Especially your family. At Christmas.

I lost 50 lbs 27 years ago, and I've been slaying 8/9's for 15 years.

Every obese relative of mine in a loveless marriage loves to talk about my former weight (decades ago) when I bring another half-my-age stunner to the holiday dinner table.

I could go into all the Red Pill why's - but you know why.

Just - fuck them.

Zebub343 · 2017-06-15T03:27:01+00:00

Bro stay strong, pretty much when you start improving and people will get jealous(mostly the ones that knew you before improvement)

Case 1: The girl: A cunt that tried to make herself feel better by making you feel bad, tried to play your insecurities. She hates herself no doubt.

Case 2: The dude after hiking: You din't mention if he was overweight or selfcouncious but he just did not want to feel bad for eating garbage and unhealthy shit so he wanted to force you in to eat with him. (The whole I really want desert but I don't want to feel bad so I make the rest of the table eat desert scenario )

Case 3:Your mom as long as she does not shame your for losing weight is fine, She was just worried and used the incorrect words to express it. (Even though she does not have to be worried). Some Moms are like this.

Props to you for sticking to your values and losing weight. Keep up the self-improvement bro.

Archwinger · 2017-06-15T11:15:55+00:00

Make sure that in addition to improving, you're also making a habit of shutting the hell up about it.

Don't talk about your dieting, fitness, or nutrition. Don't bring it up. Don't let others see or know how hard you're working. If someone comments about your changed appearance, just politely and vaguely agree then move on (e.g., "you've lost weight!" "I guess so. How's work going?)

The idea is to look natural and nonchalant. Like being fit and good looking and successful is just a natural part of who you are and what you are like.

When people know you're working hard, they treat all of your success like it's just an act you're putting on. So conceal your hard work, shut up about it, and act like you were just born awesome. Like success is effortless and natural for you.

Rudeyyyy · 2017-06-15T04:08:49+00:00

First off, congrats dude. Way to grind it out and not give a shit.

2nd, once you get down to your preferred weight and start lifting, even more shit tests will come.

I'l use myself as an example. I'm 5'4 and was very lanky and skinny and when I found TRP I realized I needed to lift so I started doing just that. 3 months in I'm taking protein shakes and changing my diet accordingly and my own family members are shit testing me.

"Why are you doing that to yourself? You're fine the way you are." - says my overweight father who thinks taking multiple naps in the middle of the day and eats like garbage but is to lazy to do anything about it.

"Ew why are you lifting? You're going to look like a freak. It's not healthy to get big." - says my mother who smokes.

"Honestly I don't know why you're hitting the gym. Guess it must be to make up for your height because you're short and have Napoleon complex." - says the fat bitch who I work with who is constantly complaining about her relationship problems and how she's never had a guy and how all men are shit yet it has nothing to do with her because that's completely absurd and idiotic.

See what i'm getting at? You're experiencing the losing weight shit tests and once you start lifting and putting on muscle you're going to get those shit tests as well. They don't stop. It's a good thing.

I see it as you're bettering yourself and these people are lazy and want to change and look better but they're lazy and decide not to do anything about it and when they see someone who they thought was lower on the totem pole finally turning their life around they get their panties in a twist and make insults to feel better about themselves.

Keep doing you OP. Lose weight and then put on the muscle and pass those shit tests with ease. People who make crude comments are only jealous of you. Most people now a days are ok with being a piece of shit. Fuck em. Turn yourself into the top 20% and see how fast your chances of getting laid increase.

HansZarkov · 2017-06-15T07:02:28+00:00

I've had a similar experience. In the past six months I've lost almost 30 pounds on the ketogenic diet.

I've gotten a lot of compliments but also a lot of bullshit for it. It usually comes as concern trolling. I can't tell you how many fat ugly fucks tell me they're concerned that my diet is unhealthy while they're sucking down Mountain Dew like it's their job.

They're scared and jealous that you've been motivated enough to cause that improvement in your life that they aren't.

Keep up the good work brother.

SideWindStoic · 2017-06-15T01:25:57+00:00

Congratz on your weight-losing journey man, keep it up! I was wondering what you have done with your diet? What does your breakfast, lunch and dinner look like now? I'm not overweight but nonetheless pretty self-conscious about my body and constantly trying to improve my overall food-intake. Do you have any tips on eating healthy that you find work well for you? Or what to do when you start feeling hungry, knowingly it's not a good idea to eat at that moment. Thanks in advance!

jupiter6666 · 2017-06-15T02:23:42+00:00

"Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

HAHAHAHAHA I would have laughed in that bitches face and walked away. She's projecting.

GingeRoids · 2017-06-15T02:03:03+00:00

Classic crab-bucket mentality. It's fine when you're not better than whoever is making those comments. Whenever they feel threatened or feel like you're surpassing them they will try to bring you back down

moipersoin · 2017-06-15T05:49:39+00:00

You should embrace these shit tests. They reveal your true friends, and you get to unload all the useless people that clearly don't care for you.

Desadarius · 2017-06-15T01:53:41+00:00

Most people are mentally weak, and recognizing others' successes brings out their own insecurities and faults.

In essence, they are mad at you for improving while they have remained the same.

Personally, I've learned to take these insults as compliments, as it proves I am improving enough for others to take notice.

FrgElder · 2017-06-15T17:09:34+00:00

I've never liked the term "shit test", because it's a slang oversimplification. What they really are is congruency tests. They are subtle social challenges issued to you to check if your apparent value is congruent with your true value. I find simply framing it that way in your mind makes them a lot easier to deal with, because there is a positive implication to the term. People aren't just giving you shit for no reason or because they're ass holes, they are testing your value because they see value to test in the first place. If you're a fat fuck with no social skills and no value, you'll never get shit tested, you'll just get outright rejected. Getting shit-tested means you're at least a competitor in the game.

You'll find congruency tests will be most evident whenever you try to improve some aspect of yourself or your personality. There's two reasons for this. The first is to tie in with the above, you are displaying a higher value and are simply not used to the amount of shit-tests that higher value males have to deal with on a daily basis. When you go from an environment of zero shit-testing to an average amount of shit-testing, it seems excessive. Once you develop a solid frame and have experience dealing with shit-tests, it won't seem like a big deal at all, it's just part of the process.

The second reason you'll experience more shit-testing when attempting to improve yourself is people like to keep others in comfortable little boxes that define their personalities. When you try to break out of your defined box/parameters that they have arbitrarily assigned you, you upset the consistency and comfort of their worldview. This gives them feelings of jealously, self-doubt, and anxiety, which they will redirect at you in order to attempt to get you to stay within your defined set of parameters. You may lose some friends or family along the way, but with solid frame and experience in this it won't bother you anymore.

mcavvacm · 2017-06-15T06:14:23+00:00

I'm always so surprised to see these kind of posts. My friends and family were very supportive and some even joined me losing weight.

420PussyEater · 2017-06-15T06:56:47+00:00

As someone that has lost a lot of weight, I was 220 now I'm 160, I recommend you treat yourself to nice clothes that fit well. You have a new body and there is no shame in showing it. I personally prefer thrift stores for the simple reason you can walk out with 5 things for $15 instead of normal stores where it's $50 for one thing. Show you the love you need/want/deserve.

SilverGryphon · 2017-06-15T08:12:09+00:00

They are jealous of your determination and resolve. And that useless cum dumpster who said you hate yourself is most likely an insecure bitch who hates herself more than you or anyone else can ever hate her. She's just projecting her fucked up mind onto others. People do that all the time.

iwasbornred · 2017-06-15T03:26:01+00:00

They just want to put you in the weak minded fatty box. Smash the fucking box and put them in your own "useless fucking energy leech" box

So many different things we deal with daily are things that shouldn't be dealt with any way other than cutting off the person at fault, but we rarely do that because we don't want to lose people that we have assigned(usually arbitrarily or often for sexual reasons) value to.

beginner_ · 2017-06-15T07:05:40+00:00

"Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

You must love yourself a lot then.

That should shut her up.

On the main topic: The people that say these thing usually are fat themselves. You are shoving it in their face that they are lazy, fat fucks and it's "easy" to not be. You are destroying their cognitive dissonance (it's fine to be fat and can't do anything about it anyway) and hence they react with negativity.

AlchemyPhoenix · 2017-06-15T09:10:38+00:00

I wouldn't call these shit tests. Certainly your mother isn't giving you a shit test. A shit test is more subtle, when a girl who is otherwise attracted/interested is trying to probe you to figure out if you're alpha or not. A shit test would be "Hey, would you take a day off of exercising to come to the mall with me and hold my bag while I try on clothes?"

Calling what this girl said a shit test is like calling "I hope you die in a fire you ugly bitch" a neg.

grandaddychimp · 2017-06-15T11:31:10+00:00

"Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

Is she fat?

NakedAndBehindYou · 2017-06-15T13:00:08+00:00

These are not shit tests. You, like many new TRP subscribers, are using the term wrong.

A shit test is a test that a woman gives a man that she secretly wants him to pass in order to prove his masculinity.

The negative comments you are describing are not shit tests, they are just negative people resisting your change for whatever reason. It's a common thing that happens.

abstractplebbit · 2017-06-15T07:57:00+00:00

Okay bro so you're logic is completely correct, but bloopies are gonna bloop. There is no reason to get so butthurt about it. If you just realize that people like that are retarded faggots, then it should be easy to not take them seriously.

You should feel good about losing weight but feeling good means not being insecure about that kind of bullshit from people. You'll have to deal with a lot of shit tests in life but letting your emotions react for you is just going to cause you to fail that particular test

epixs · 2017-06-15T14:55:05+00:00

I went from obese to competitive bodybuilder years ago and to this day I don't tell people about my old self. People want to naturally believe you're just genetically gifted. My advice to you is this, once you reach your goal weight-don't ever tell anyone you used to be fat. Let them believe you were gifted and naturally talented, its fits their narrative better and makes your achievements look effortless (another law from green's book).

HeadphoneSpaghetti · 2017-06-15T19:07:10+00:00

I remember the one time when I got obese and decided to loose all that fat. At some point during the process I went back to my hometown for a month. I rented my own place, so that I don't have to stay with my parents. I went to visit my mother and gave her a heads up "I'm losing weight, please don't bake or cook anything".

I arrive and she tells me she baked my favourite cake, and reminds me that nobody else in the family likes it. I told her I wouldn't touch it but no harm done. We chill in the living room and she gets up, brings a slice of the cake and puts it right in front of me. 10 seconds later the plate together with the cake is flying out the window (she lives on the 5th floor, overlooking a big lawn, no people or cars below). The message got across.

2comment · 2017-06-15T03:08:44+00:00

On the flip side, the people who are genuinely happy for you and support you as you're on your way are worth hanging onto. They're rarer, but exist.

ACE-JHN · 2017-06-15T04:39:42+00:00

The mom comment is the toughest. Others can fuck themselves

casemodsalt · 2017-06-15T05:37:25+00:00

Wow people suck. Hope you slap that bitch next time you see her whore face

BigMawsmidget · 2017-06-15T05:51:08+00:00

Someone may have said this already, but if you don't have haters you're doing it wrong. Also the girl is right to an extent I did kind of hate myself for getting that big, but still even as I get smaller (currently down over to 200 pounds) I never forget what it was like the shit tests are real.

valhallaseven7 · 2017-06-15T11:27:17+00:00

Dude that's fucking awesome. Good for you. I'm only about 10 pounds overweight and have yet to man up enough to take care of it. You've inspired me bro. Don't let people bring you down.

5t3fan0 · 2017-06-15T11:33:48+00:00

though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight

holy shit! Im curious to know if you gave an answer or just ignored her.

The best reply to a coworker/parent imho is some bullshit like "really? i just cut some booze/icecream and go for a small run twice a week" this is clearly bullshit to one who really diet and lifts, but others will eat it up and be satisfied with it, since its not a great display of work or discipline

Also congratulations on your improvment, let the jealousy and hate of those crabs be fuel for even more future gainz!

S3542U · 2017-06-15T12:43:13+00:00

Ok. I just want to ask something. To all of you. Some of you say "my friend did this" or "my friend said (behind my back) that", referring to something bad.

I just wonder: what kind of crap relationships/friendships do you have? I would just dump those "friends".

Or are they "friends" as in a/an connection/acquaintance you might need help from one day (might need to exploit?)?

Sorry if I sound rude; it's a genuine question. Socializing has always been my weakness so I just wonder how you can call those people "friends".

TattedGuyser · 2017-06-15T13:49:59+00:00

I feel you, I started to lose weight and gain strength and I've been getting it from every angle for the last year:

Strangers trying to mock me "I didn't think such a small town had steroid users"
Other gym participants accusing me of steroids
Family accusing me using and how I'm gonna hurt myself for losing so much weight
ex-friends telling me that I shouldn't get too bulky, women don't like that

On the plus side it was really easy to cut all these people from my life and to never look back. My current friends are awesome and we encourage each other to push harder and harder. And my woman is great, she loves the amount of mass I'm packing on.

The best detox is the one where you remove these poisonous shit-heads from your life.

Jc73195 · 2017-06-15T02:19:40+00:00

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mallardcove · 2017-06-15T04:16:26+00:00

Wait until you become lean.

I am not ripped but still at 10% body fat for the summer and have a nice lean physique. With clothes on though no one can really tell, they just think I am skinny. I get shit all the time about my eating habits.

ValhallaShores · 2017-06-15T04:53:33+00:00

"Moral of the story is fuck these idiots"

Yup. Congrats, though. Keep at it!

Scriptopeia · 2017-06-15T05:56:10+00:00

I know from experience what you mean, but I actually never realized that this "actively" happened to me because when I lost weight (80kg/176pounds) to around (60kg/132pounds) I was quite young, 17 years old to be exact.

Almost everyone in my family is overweight and a lot of them obese. When I lost my weight I got tons of comments from my family, especially my grandma, who still to this day says I should eat a little bit more. I do agree that I lost "too much" first, but that was just something normal. Now I weight more and even grew some muscles at around 70kg(155pounds) - btw I am 5'9

After all I basically only got compliments from people outside my family... asking me what I changed and the reasons behind it etc.

disposable_pants · 2017-06-15T07:09:00+00:00

Moral of the story is fuck these idiots, there are people out there that truly dislike seeing another person better themselves and you know why?? Because they like being better than you.

It's not that they like being better than you -- it's that they dislike being clearly inferior. They dislike knowing a living, breathing example of someone who has the motivation and discipline they wish they had.

asymptotic_salvation · 2017-06-15T07:47:06+00:00

We live in a world of hierarchies: in our workplaces, schools, gyms.. in our homes.
When you start improving your lot in a way that increases your position in a given hierarchy, people will naturally feel threatened and will let you know about it.

Moral of the story is to use these shit tests as indicators of social progress.

And just incase no one's said it yet: now's the time to start lifting.

yomo86 · 2017-06-15T09:46:05+00:00

A tip from someone who had his fair amount of appearance based shit test. Oh honey (pumpkin, buttercup etc.) you are just a girls/woman you don't understand. This is my fallback option. Treat them like kids. A kind of canned default amused mastery when silence is not appropriate.

j33tAy · 2017-06-15T11:45:58+00:00

Great post. Most other commented and hit the nail on the head. It's the crab bucket mentality.

Great job on your progress, brother. There are plenty of people who are also proud of your accomplishments, including this group of internet randoms.

greatslyfer · 2017-06-15T14:42:56+00:00

"Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

Who the FUCK says that? Holy, I don't know how they can even say that without feeling shitty, wtf.

HeyN0ngMan · 2017-06-15T16:19:44+00:00

Relax.
Surround yourself with better people.
Who gives a fuck what they say, you're losing weight, you feel good. That's all that matters.

CoachToughLove · 2017-06-15T16:25:20+00:00

Great post and keep up the mental fortitude!

Because they like being better than you.

And they don't like feeling inferior deep down.

The real question is this, do they know what they're doing or is it all subconscious??

We are compelled by our subconscious desires/emotions. Some of us just have better filters and a better understanding than others ;)

jealousy/envy is a disease.

Yep. The more jealousy, the more insecurity.

You're better than them for maintaining your frame. Keep it up!

talkintoyou · 2017-06-15T23:29:04+00:00

Keep up the good work. You're awesome bro.

breakingbadrule · 2017-06-20T23:38:49+00:00

Hey bud, I know I'm late to the party, but just wanted to let you know how much I can relate to you. I was the kind of guy before that used to eat out with friends despite having fitness goals. Sugary drinks, junk food, ou name it. And when I finally realize that I can't have both, so i decided to stand up for myself. I tld them that I will go out with them, but will only eat what my diet allows me.Which means cutting sugar and limiting m calories from other sources. And these so-called 'friends ' of mine are angry at me because I don't drink sugary soda with them! I stand my ground and it drives them mad. Their excuse is that I am not one with the group and I am just ruining the mood. The old me would have caved into social pressure and eaten away. But I have learned to say no and that is the most liberating feeling ever.

glad that I am not the only one facing this. anyways, thanks for sharing your story. I hope you achieve success in your goals

Wolvesontheloose · 2017-06-15T06:35:14+00:00

rule #1 never outshine the master

mydatingbible · 2017-06-15T06:52:36+00:00

That's incredible I would have put that bitch in her place, and as for your friend that is also incredible that he was trying to get you to eat that shit after knowing you're trying to better yourself.

You carry on brother, get ripped and really rub that shit in their faces.

Wolvesontheloose · 2017-06-15T07:03:55+00:00

I go to college (art) and I've grown tremendously up tot the point you can tell I'm capable of landing a real job, I've also gained a lot of muscle and am learning about a lot of other stuff in general, started dressing better, etc..

They're going to fail me because "I'm going backward" because literaty I'm not just splattering paint on a canvas like a retard/ outshining my teachers.

Inexperiencedblaster · 2017-06-15T07:55:22+00:00

Question is, you peeled yet?

Barvazon · 2017-06-15T08:48:57+00:00

Be happy about it.

Crab mentality from your peers and shit test from women is exactly what you get when you are on the right path.

TehJimmyy · 2017-06-15T08:49:25+00:00

Her: Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

You : Then you should try it too.

I told him I will even go in with him and he can eat and I'll sit with him but that wasn't good enough

No man that wouldnt be good for your mental health even if you didnt eat. If he doesnt understand no next.

The_Godfather_MOD · 2017-06-15T08:51:05+00:00

Keep going, you are doing it for yourself. You are not renouncing something but instead you are enhancing yourself. Act with this in mind and they will get it.

skydragonwhore · 2017-06-15T09:09:39+00:00

I'm working on it myself. Do what you need to do to get healthy. At least you are working for your weight loss and not bragging about surgery.

DeathToTheZog · 2017-06-15T09:21:54+00:00

People get vindictive as hell. Man, congratulations on shedding the weight. I'm having my own journey, and just like you, I have become bombarded by blatant shit tests.

Stay strong. Use it as fuel. Fuck these crabs, we getting out this damn bucket.

rorrr · 2017-06-15T09:34:23+00:00

You need better friends. The people you've described are not.

dsxmachina · 2017-06-15T09:44:33+00:00

People are shit. Keep them all at arm's length.

OLeZzZ · 2017-06-15T09:47:57+00:00

On your way to greatness you will meet people which not only will not shit test you but boost you with confidence.

P.s. English is not my mother language

Urishima · 2017-06-15T09:58:00+00:00

Don't let them swole-shame you, brother!

DentyneWhite · 2017-06-15T10:24:51+00:00

First off, congrats on making concete steps towards a better life

These are not exactly shit tests that you describe ( although you can defeat them with similar tactics) A shit test is a probe to see what you are made of and generally people are pleased when one passes the shit test.

You are seeing something more insidious. Your success is causing others to look at their own failures and its making them feel bad. They are actively trying to derail your progress so they no longer need to face the fact that they dont have whar it takes to make similar positive changes.

TRP preaches self validation for a reason so learn to ignore the haters and power through your life any way you want

You can employ the same anti shit test tactics with great success. Agree and Amplify and grin your way to low body fat

All the best and keep up the good work bro.

There is nothing like being lean. Clothes fit great, women smile and touch you and haters be hating while eating their ce cream sanwiches.

chambertlo · 2017-06-15T11:06:54+00:00

Fat people are miserable and they can't stand to see anyone making the sincere effort to lose weight and be healthy. There is no such thing as fat and fit, it is a myth perpetuated by the lazy and shiftless, and people will seriously rather see you sloppy and overweight than happy and healthy. It's unfortunate, but this " happy at any size" mentality has really ruined our culture, deluding people into thinking that their unhealthy lifestyle should be celebrated. Not with this mother fucker. I will continue to call out fat people for the lazy, complement, delusional people they are, and I will continue to focus on my fitness.

pirateninj4 · 2017-06-15T11:37:35+00:00

Take all the of hate and embrace it. It's your signal that you're on the right path. I love haters. It makes me feel good, makes me smile like I'm watching puppy videos. Let that shit wash over you and make you more motivated.

Seriously, haters are the best.

Avskygod0 · 2017-06-15T11:47:27+00:00

Unironically eating at McDonald's, that's pretty much instant remove tier

theamazingswayze · 2017-06-15T12:10:54+00:00

Congrats man, 44 lbs in 6 months is a lot.

Fuck these morons. They're going to be old and out of shape anyways. Karma.

BodyofAdonis · 2017-06-15T12:48:32+00:00

Seems like you've got it. People will always try to bring you back to their level. Keep doing your thing.

Xiphos462 · 2017-06-15T12:50:25+00:00

This is why I grew up with no friends and to this day it's hard for me to make new ones.

Everyone has shit to say about something.

BadNerfAgent · 2017-06-15T13:26:19+00:00

Either way when I was fat and doing nothing about it I did nothing but encourage my friend on his weight loss journey

That's why you are strong enough to better yourself. If you took the blue pill, you'd be content in bringing others down, yourself included.

smk1987 · 2017-06-15T13:37:27+00:00

Fatties hate nothing more than skinny people, fatties losing weight is second on their list.

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2017-06-15T14:07:42+00:00

Moral of the story is fuck these idiots,

Yes. As you better yourself, you will need to surround yourself with better people. You will need to make new friends, who accept, and\or commit to the same lifestyle as you.

The real question is this, do they know what they're doing or is it all subconscious??

Does it matter? Either way, they are who they are.

jealousy/envy is a disease.

yes, yes it is...

vorverk · 2017-06-15T14:08:13+00:00

Wait till you get big and below 12% body fat.

Shit tests turn in to IOIs, respect and admire. There are always haters, but they become invisible...

curveball21 · 2017-06-15T14:10:16+00:00

You know OP it's hard to say because I didn't have a firsthand view of the situations but you might be viewing your most recent experiences a bit harshly.

Is it possible girl was clumsily trying to imply that you must have hated yourself in the past when you were fat and must have now begun to figure it out?
Yeah at McDonald's your friend was kind of a douche. But so were you. There are healthy items on the menu that even a rigid dieter can fit in in order to socialize and eat with friends. Your friend was not so mad at you refusing to pound some super-sized macs and fries as he probably was uncomfortable with your dumb idea that he would enjoy sitting there with you silently judging him while he did it.
Your mom just wanted some reassurance that you are in fact ok. She probably thinks you are ok but just wants to hear it from you.

Think about it. Not everything is an attack, but it is if you decide it is. Don't go looking for ways to make yourself unhappy, you are doing great! Enjoy it!

BestSC86 · 2017-06-15T14:12:54+00:00

I think you have a couple of different things going on...

Obviously the "friends" are just pieces of crap who should be jettisoned at the first opportunity.

But I wouldn't put the question from your mother in the same category exactly, it would only be natural for someone to sort of worry about such after a drastic weight loss in a short time...it seems to me to be more an attempt to ease her concern about a possible illness.

I had a couple of I know compassionate older ladies and gentlemen who asked this question to ensure that the changes I was going thru were not because of some illness before praising my efforts back in the day. For them, it was to make sure that they didn't start raving about how great my changes were only to find out that it was because of cancer or some other terminal illness.

For the other two...they are just crud and you have to realize it is entirely 'sour grapes'.

fastnail1 · 2017-06-15T14:32:41+00:00

Read the Slight edge by Jeff Olsen.

He explains the little steps.

SovereignSoul76 · 2017-06-15T14:33:38+00:00

Practice chuckling and giving a half crooked smile. If they can't get you to fail, they want an emotional response out of you. Practice a face that says: "Yeah, I'd expect you to say something stupid like that." You've heard of "Don't feed the trolls", well don't feed the haters neither.

TRPmmm · 2017-06-15T14:34:43+00:00

Brah, this will only continue until you are jacked. Women are only doing it because they are attributing alpha status to you and want to know if they can put you down.

SgtSplacker · 2017-06-15T14:44:51+00:00

Food for some reason is like that, some people do seemingly want to force you to eat certain things. I just got used to ordering salads. I don't eat McDonalds also but if someone insists I go in there I just get a salad. Part of me just wants to stay away from the chain altogether.

dankmemes4eva23 · 2017-06-15T14:46:04+00:00

Sometimes concern from parents can come off as harmful, so keep family close, but fuck those other people.

memelord2022 · 2017-06-15T15:00:43+00:00

Nah man they are all probably right, you're simply anorectic. It is obvious from your post.

KumonRoguing · 2017-06-15T15:19:41+00:00

Idk your situation, but I lived at home when I lost my weight. My mother got to the point of taking me to the doctor she said there's no way I was losing the weight naturally.

Lsegundo · 2017-06-15T15:29:43+00:00

my friend insisted I eat at McDonald's on the way back from camping...

Just lie and say their food upsets your stomach now. Only a complete asshole will try to get you to eat food that makes you feel ill.

When I put this idea forth someone always comments just be a man and say no then stand your ground. Why bother dealing with their harassment? Be a little machiavellian, tell the lie, and dont waste your energy arguing with losers that have no self control. I am perfectly capable of telling someone to STFU when they are harassing me. it isn't a great use of my energy though.

Shakydrummer · 2017-06-15T16:17:59+00:00

Congrats on the weight loss dude. I what you mean. I quit drinking for weight/depression issues but in the first while I'd usually get 'You're still dry?' Thankfully though my friends are actually solid as fuck and support my decisions, so they don't care if I drink a soda water or something if we go out. Helps a lot when your buddies are chill.

Kwantuum · 2017-06-15T16:40:57+00:00

god you have lost some weight, are you ill or something?

That's actually a very valid question actually, a large weight loss can be associated with cancer and gastrointestinal pathologies. If someone is losing weight without working out and watching what they eat, you should worry. In this case though, I suppose she was fully aware you were working for this so it's really just a stupid question.

MattyAnon · 2017-06-15T16:45:14+00:00

"Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

Projection.

he wanted me to eat a massive meal with him

Crabs in a bucket.

" god you have lost some weight, are you ill or something??

Most people lack the will power to lose weight - if you succeed it puts pressure on them. You're raising the bar, and they HATE it.

I lost a chunk of weight... and I have received ZERO shit about it. The best has been "you're looking fucking awesome, you're really getting it together", the worst has only been "you can stop now".

I'm saying this all depends on you and depends on your friends. I suspect you went from fat to normal (which they're happy with as you join their ranks) and then carried on towards slimmer than them.... which they weren't fine with.

Good for you for sorting it out, women adore slim and ripped men and it's amazing how much instant respect you get from men too.

SlyAM · 2017-06-15T16:56:11+00:00

Unlike you, I have to work to put weight on. I have a crazy fast metabolism and before I started working out, eating better, etc, I was just under 115 pounds. Fast-forward from then (5-6 months ago) to now, I am just reaching 150. Most of the weight I've put on has been in muscle but I have received some crazy shit tests, mostly from family.

An Aunt (over 50, over-weight, married, six kids, a husband with no interest in her anymore, etc) who came to celebrate my graduation with the rest of my family basically told me that I shouldn't worry about getting big and just love my body how it is. She went on to tell me how I should stop going to the gym and just except me for me, even if it meant I'd go back to looking like a holocaust survivor. I was laughing inside.

Lot's of my friends, family, and co-workers have all supported me in bettering myself, and everyone has noticed the improvements, but there are always those few who would rather me go back to how I was instead of better myself. I think it's because they're jealous of my improvement, and it makes them feel bad about themselves.

I'm happy you're losing weight though, don't forget to turn that fat into muscle at some point. It's crazy how much female attention I've received since I started buffing up.

Mithra9009 · 2017-06-15T17:16:00+00:00

I think in the case of the girl, I think she was just projecting i.e. the only reason why she would lose weight is out of self-hate. She sees weight loss through the lens of the anorexic. Either that or her whole understanding of weight loss is coming from anorexic people (which makes sense. Why would a normal person be exposed to a severely obese person that is also in the process of weight loss?).

byers18901 · 2017-06-15T18:13:13+00:00

This is just an anecdote. But keep it in mind.

I have a friend of a friend who lost 45 pounds over the course of one month I want to say.

Guess what? The dude has cancer. Luckily the prognosis is good though.

So OP, if you never mentioned your desire to lose weight to your Mom, she's totally right to make sure you aren't ill. You could have had a tapeworm, cancer, or gotten on the cocaine diet.

Obviously if you did tell her and she is just being willfully ignorant just ignore the bs.

Ignore the haters and remember the positive comments.

Congrats by the way man. 40kgs is no small feat. Best of luck on reaching your target goal.

filli1aj · 2017-06-15T18:18:25+00:00

Since I've lost 35 pounds and packed on plenty of muscle I've heard all of these too, OP. People have accused me of it all, 'starving myself', just a 'phase', must be on 'gear'.

My biggest pitfall was that I tried to explain to people how I did it. I follow keto, but more importantly intermittent fasting and people just do not like that I am doing something different than what they were raised to believe is correct. I must be doing SOMETHING to 'cheat'. There's just no way this could 'work' forever. Sure I've lost weight but the way I did it was 'unhealthy'.

It boggles peoples mind that maybe, just maybe, I went and did extensive research that resulted in me getting very lean and extremely healthy. Had blood work and a pee sample done last week, and the doc said I just about couldn't have had healthier vitals. The lab results are the proof, and I'll take proof over opinions.

People still regularly ask me "why didn't you eat lunch" and I will say,

"because I don't eat lunch"

Whatever they reply with, I no longer try to defend myself or explain it.

The people who knew you as fat will never stop seeing you as a fat guy. No matter how successful you become they will wait for you to go back to 'normal'. But, after a while you will meet new people that never knew you as a fat dude. Now your just that ripped dude. No more shit tests, no more advice. It's great! Just keep doing what you're doing and don't fall back into the crab bucket.

Scurvemuch · 2017-06-15T18:29:19+00:00

"Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight

LOL, " Is that why you are anorexic?"

"You are fat" ( deadpan)

or , laugh in her face and walk away

pbgswd · 2017-06-15T18:41:18+00:00

also, your friends are not necessarily your friends....

Gravityflexo · 2017-06-15T18:54:39+00:00

Rhw McDonald's thing is probably because he didnt want to eat alone, i meam who would wamt to go into a restaurant and eat while thier friend sits thier judging them about the garbage food, as you called it, while they eat. The girl was just a bitch who aounds like shes tje one who hates herself. As for your mom, she sounds like she was just making sure you were alright and not sick. Sounds like you have become very sensetive about your wieght loss, you should apply aome idgaf what other people think logic and realize 3 backhanded comments in half a year really isnt shit

atlantique16 · 2017-06-15T19:06:58+00:00

Those aren't shit tests just piss poor people. Your best bet is to tell them to go fuck themselves and use it for motivation.

I'm happy to hear your improving.

006rbc · 2017-06-15T19:53:17+00:00

I have found going out to eat with anyone more of a nuisance. I usually always get criticism for sticking to a low carb life style, albeit the criticism comes from those who can't control their own weight. Even going to the gym brings criticism from those who haven't even set foot in one in about 10 years. Making these changes really opens your eyes to who you can trust. People don't like change. Surround yourself with only like minded people.

Chemlab187 · 2017-06-15T19:57:11+00:00

I see so many posts on TRP about how to hold frame and deal with shit tests, but only a few posts on how to avoid them in the first place.
I rarely if ever face such tests from friends, family, or my LTR. This is due to the fact that I am always behaving in a way that lets everyone around me know that I am the CAPTAIN OF MY SHIP!

What does the Captain of a ship do? Well he practices TRP tactics every moment of every single day:

Qualify your crew - just like with a plate, you are interviewing them and seeing where they fit.

Escalate - just like with a plate, you are developing chemistry/ selling your strategic mission

Task - just like with a plate, start small and give them ever increasing tasks to complete. (May require revisiting 1 & 2 as tasks get more demanding)

Scarcity - just like with a plate, create space so that they wonder what they are missing

Constructive criticism - just like with a plate, don't go Beta once the first task is complete. Give them feedback on what they could do better.

Improve yourself - Exercise your mind, body, and spirit

REPEAT AT EVERY INTERACTION and nobody is going to be giving you a "shit test" for fear of being corrected by the Captain!

AllahHatesFags · 2017-06-15T20:21:38+00:00

Let it motivate you to hit the gym EVEN HARDER! When you get to your ideal level of fitness, whether it be just toned or swole as fuck, rub it in their fat fucking faces that you are better than they are before cutting them from your life; take a shit on the bucket of crabs. We really need to bring back fat-shaming.

thecarryone · 2017-06-15T22:30:30+00:00

Nice thing to read, keep it up man and fuck them.

vwzwv · 2017-06-15T22:44:52+00:00

Make sure you get a few new sets of clothes that fit your new shape well. Others will see you as an improved version of yourself. If you wear your existing clothes that too big for you people will act like you look that way from a disease.

DTFarm · 2017-06-15T23:41:24+00:00

When you start getting haters you are doing something right.

nixon007 · 2017-06-15T23:50:58+00:00

Well if you are on reddit, you do hate yourself, the bitch got your there!

cherryCanSuckMyDick · 2017-06-16T00:59:00+00:00

I had the same retarded conversation recently with my Mother; "oh, you need to stop losing weight, you're where you're supposed to be" (no, I just crossed the 19 BFP mark heading downwards, which is still not acceptable Mum).

It wouldnt be as ridiculous if she wasnt schooled as a freaking dietician. I know uni was years ago for her, but how can she actually be that ignorant of what a healthy body looks like?

HydraDoad · 2017-06-16T02:51:23+00:00

Weak people exude jealousy and smut. They're afraid of being left behind - revealing their lazy and waspish innards. Supportive people will throw you some new tunes to work out to, ask about your 1RM's and maybe ask for help in their own journey.

The phrase 'cut the shit' applies.

tarnished_spoons · 2017-06-16T21:27:31+00:00

god you have lost some weight, are you ill or something?? Yes Mum I'm ill, I was so much healthier when I was 110 pounds overweight.

Say it out loud. Perfect way to respond to that shit.

-Universe- · 2017-06-17T07:02:36+00:00

6 months in I have experienced a shit test from my Mum this time claiming " god you have lost some weight, are you ill or something?? Yes Mum I'm ill, I was so much healthier when I was 110 pounds overweight.

That's wasn't a shit test. She was actually concerned. My mom did the same too. Losing too much weight can be a sign of something serious.

arethoudeadyet · 2017-06-20T22:11:11+00:00

Same here, even my mother has a comment about it and wants me to eat super high carb cakes with her. wtf.

Insendi · 2017-06-15T08:48:52+00:00

RE FUCKING TWEET!!

I'be lost about 60 pounds so far and the shit tests couldn't be anymore annoying. Usually I'll nex a chick doing that kinda shit cause it's an indicator of how'd they act as a plate but that's just me.

Side note, it feels ducking good. Used to barely fits Large, now medium is perfect.

Adamn27 · 2017-06-15T13:44:34+00:00

"Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

It's all about her insecurity. She hates herself, or at least she does not love herself and would like to change, just cant.

She is jealus for you.

after 10 minutes of arguing he finally got the message I wasn't eating that garbage and decided he would rather just drive home and not eat.

He just wanted validation for you (in fact because he is now looks up to you because of your discipline), in terms of validation means: If you can eat junkfood, he can eat surely. No doubt he drove home without that junk after the argument. (You not validated his behaviour)

Well I would not say these are classic shit tests, or whatever we can call them anyhow. The thing is people started to look up to you because you do shit, and they aint. Right track man, congrats.

notyourgrandmother · 2017-06-15T14:06:31+00:00

Keep up the good work, brother. Don't listen to naysayers, only yourself.

enfier · 2017-06-15T21:39:19+00:00

Cognitive dissonance is the main reason why you experience this.

Your family and friends have a core belief that being fat is not their fault and in fact an unchangeable quality. When confronted with evidence that their core belief is false, most will react with anger or grasp for any explanation that reconciles the two (he's on drugs, he's sick) no matter how farfetched it seems.

BareFistEmpiricist · 2017-06-15T21:50:39+00:00

Congratulations man. When you reach your goal, be sure to maintain, and apply that same determination to other endeavors as well.

pherislore · 2017-06-15T23:43:28+00:00

Dude - have had this happen. I don't each much sugar and I rarely drink and I get these snide comments every now and then. Make sure you shoot these cunts down so they know you won't take their shit and point out the BS. They are envious and jealous because you will look and feel better than them and probably live longer and because you have more self-control.

I've told my friends that if I get any comments about not drinking/eating shit then I will tear them to pieces verbally. And they've got the message.

maxrp · 2017-06-16T09:43:17+00:00

, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

shes repeating what shes heard, where do you think they get this idea from? media and advertising targetted at shaming women to buy pointless health products and encouraging to drown themselves in feel good wine and chocolates. Dont be mad at her its not her fault. Tell her to hit the gym with you.

this time my friend .....he wanted me to eat a massive meal with him and best of all it was his shout...

hes not your friend any more. cut him out or get him to hit the gym with you.

are you ill or something??

parents say stupid stuff. its what originally formed our young minds to fail. now you're an adult you can tell them what they just said was not helpful, that they must change their language to always be supportive and positive. get them to hit the gym.

, do they know what they're doing or is it all subconscious?

some do know what they're doing, some are lifes 'victims' subconcious dragging you down with them.

Imagine yourself as a personal trainer, you have to hear negative bullshti from your clients all day long, you have to keep being a positive inspiration for them regardless of what ever they say, your vision is strong, you can help them change but only if they want to change. Keep on your journey.

jealousy/envy is a disease.

absolutely diseased victim mindset. you will keep improving regarless of anyone else. keep strong keep going to the gym every day and do not stop.

Start inviting people around you to go to the gym or work out, start surrounding yourself with people who are positive about change. Be like a driving force that attracts positive people.

jahozafet · 2017-06-16T12:20:53+00:00

In all aspects of life, people want to put you below them. If you've upgraded one variable of your life, you're improving your place in the pecking order relative to everyone else and so you're a threat. People will try to keep you right where they were comfortable having you . . . they only changes in relative value they would accept would be 1) if you got fatter, thereby increasing their value relative to you, or 2) you undeniably vaulted yourself to a higher status that could somehow benefit them (i.e. you became a fitness celebrity and they could hang out with models if they were your friend). The latter is of course infeasible, so overall, people would prefer to see you fail than to see you succeed. This applies to you financially, romantically, physically, emotionally . . . in all ways. Nobody will give you credit for anything just because you deserve it and nobody hands out respect by default. You have to demand respect and your success must be undeniable, or you will not get respect or validation for your success. People only care about themselves. That's just the way it is and it's neither good nor bad, philosophically. It just feels like shit because we're programmed to both want acceptance and to strategically withhold acceptance in preservation of our own egos. Very complex apes, we are.

j3m4090 · 2017-06-15T03:43:45+00:00

I was once fat. Lost 100 pounds and now im just ugly.....People will never be happy so why care

Title	The never ending shit tests I have experienced while losing weight
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	757
Comments	227
Date	June 15, 2017 12:23 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6hbm5x/the_never_ending_shit_tests_i_have_experienced/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-never-ending-shit-tests-i-have-experienced.43997 https://theredarchive.com/post/43997

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