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GuilesTheme21 · 2022-08-31T13:12:06+00:00

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nomansapenguin · 2022-08-31T17:17:09+00:00

This happened to me a few years back in my late 20’s. What worked for me was to ‘fake it till you make it’. Or said another way “act as if”.

I basically acted as if they were all attracted to me and flirted ‘ironically’… In my head I was fucking with them, not really flirting, just playing a game waiting to get called out. I was not taking the idea they fancied me seriously at all, which made me relax and say whatever I wanted.

Thing is, even though I was saying it as a joke, they were taking it literally, and it got the same results anyway.

Examples would be things like ‘you like stalking me don’t you’ or ‘when are we gonna skip to Netflix and chill’. They would reply with ‘yeah, I am a bit’ or ‘you free this weekend’.

Was mind blowing to me.

TempAcc64 · 2022-08-31T11:08:01+00:00

Focus on

"Do I like them? Do I ACTUALLY like them?" then taking the steps to find out if you do.

It'll take time but it'll pay off, the gym gains didn't happen in a day neither will this.

NinetailsDestruction · 2022-08-31T11:02:12+00:00

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autofillgreenbuddy · 2022-08-31T10:22:32+00:00

Just like the gym… crawl, walk, run. You’re in a good spot, sounds like you get to be selective about your dating life at this point.

My advice is to work on holding conversations with these women and push to make lasting connections. Exchange contact info, social media, whatever. Keep building yourself socially this way and ease yourself into the flirting.

You’re killing it bro, don’t be so hard on yourself. Confidence is super attractive, just holding your own in conversation is huge. Focus less on her being into you and you being into her. Who is she? Why is she a match for you?

vazark · 2022-08-31T12:02:35+00:00

Flirting is about having fun. Not getting laid. So tease, have fun.

You pick it up as u go

Satxbull210 · 2022-08-31T17:46:14+00:00

"Back then they didn't want me now I'm hot they all on me" -Mike Jones ....who?

coolwater85 · 2022-08-31T17:32:51+00:00

Yes, I was in this situation in college. The best advice I can give you is to say less. Let them do the majority of talking and flirting. The more I talked, the more opportunity I had to fcuk my chances up. The less I talked, the more mysterious I seemed, and they were already interested in me. Talk less, make eye contact, and let them do the rest. Enjoy your senior year.

2022-08-31T18:12:54+00:00

Don't focus on their appearance rather focus on being curious and getting to know their personality, see if they are as beautiful inside as they are outside. And practice some self love. Do something good for you, think of you as a worthy person. Especially if you hit the gym. Good luck!

finderoftreasure · 2022-08-31T21:43:37+00:00

Woman here, same story. On and off relationships, went tot he gym but never took it seriously, finally took it seriously and my 25 yo growth spurt kicked in. My body shape changed, my skin cleared up, and I found a style that I love.

My best advice is to protect your peace and remind yourself that you’re feeling and looking good. I do this by wearing clothes that make me feel good at the gym, taking care of my body (gym, diet, good sleep), and taking time out for my hobbies. It makes me feel confident and ready to attack anything. I have down days, and what I try to remember about the times I didn’t feel as attractive is who I am on the inside is the same person as I am now. I just appear different. Having the same friends has helped me really understand that, because the concept is harder than you think.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-08-31T15:21:51+00:00

It's natural to feel and act this way when you're not used to it. Takes time to adjust. Was in a similar situation when I was 18, started getting attention from girls after I changed my haircut and improved my style when previously I was totally invisible to them. Had no idea what to do with all that attention so I fucked up many initial interactions. Took several years of work to finally develop game and harness that attention to my benefit.

2022-08-31T15:54:32+00:00

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Kronuk · 2022-08-31T19:14:43+00:00

Yeah man take care of yourself and level up. I noticed it too, now I consider no girl to ever be out of reach no matter what she looks like. I’ve gotten hit on by some of the hottest girls I’ve ever seen and it made me realize there’s no leagues just myself who was holding me back.

ftdrain · 2022-08-31T22:27:24+00:00

You were obese, seeing yourself in a bad light is natural and will take time to deconstruct, dont be too hard on yourself, just remember that you are the prize, they have to impress you.

HomeschoolProm · 2022-09-01T00:10:22+00:00

Yeah Op, same sorta thing but here’s with me: I became more outgoing in college around ppl I didn’t grow up with or from high school. When I was around the new people- no previous history- I was outgoing and fun. I noticed I revert back to my old self when I am around ppl I have a long standing history with- old friends, classmates from high school, etc.,

OpenImagination9 · 2022-09-01T03:54:04+00:00

Top tip … relax hot women actually also have a hard time because a lot of men won’t try. If they’re flirting do the same and have fun!

Traditional-Soup2085 · 2022-08-31T16:36:58+00:00

Similar boat here brother, still working on building myself up, and some advice I got from a trusted source is self sabotage. In the sense that you think you’re not the type of person to pull 8-10s so your brain in an effort to maintain its ego subconsciously sabotages you when you get that attention. Something I’ve been doing (cheesy af) is doing Mantras, and affirmations. Just starting this journey so will have to update later, but good luck homie.

Necrosaro_123 · 2022-08-31T18:25:55+00:00

Guys, I'm already doing diet (lost 22 pounds), but how can i build muscle? Is there an expert I can reach (doctor?) to get the supplements and diet to build mass?

I'm trying to lose my extra weight and i'm getting close really fast and nicely. My clothes are already lose (YAY!!).

Also i'm 37yo. I'm trying to improve my game, since i'm not being lucky recently. But I have a good job, savings and better fashion sense. I'm just missing being more fit. Any tip is appreciated.

octotendrilpuppet · 2022-08-31T21:46:01+00:00

I'm a late bloomer when it comes to women finding me attractive too, but I arrived at this point in my early 40s, but it's super empowering to see chicks paying attention to you...took me a while to recognize it as such too because my narc sibling had convinced me that I was a good-for-nothing goofball all my life.

Anyway, now I view this ability to get attention from spicy women as sort of a superpower, and test the waters to see how much they will take compliments and innuendos, and then progressively push the envelope...which like others have suggested is quite a safe approach while still building on my self-esteem and also not overstep my bounds.

Kapoof2 · 2022-08-31T23:41:48+00:00

You are finding out that muscles are just part of the equation.

Having been a skinny kid turned chubby by meds, I reclaimed my fitness at the age of 18 and had the same experience as you.

The truth is that while we fixed our body as much as we can, and had great results, our mind is a much more complicated beast to tame. Hell, I'm still working on it over a decade later.

Inside you still feel like the guy from before. Hell, you may even feel insulted like "where the hell has this been my whole life?" I know I felt that way.

I would suggest doing some internal work, whether that be therapy, or just by doing things to remind yourself of the man that you have become.

The mind needs exercise just as much as your core does, idk bout you but I train core daily when I am training.

LeaderOfWolves · 2022-09-01T04:06:57+00:00

Yes dude exact same problem & it's been fuckin with my head... I'll rewind tge entire interaction & realize wgat I should have said/done... Shit been killing me

MrBlack__ · 2022-08-31T18:22:53+00:00

Congrats dude!

skeletor69420 · 2022-08-31T18:39:38+00:00

did you lose weight or gain at the gym?

from skinny to bulk or heavy to lean?

Atamya · 2022-08-31T19:48:04+00:00

I wish to have a problem like this…

Anonymousconfidence · 2022-08-31T20:29:32+00:00

Nothing wrong with a “glow-up”. You’ve upgraded to the next level it sounds like. Don’t be afraid of the change, count your blessings, don’t let being attractive get to your head.

pearlspirit27 · 2022-08-31T21:02:46+00:00

Same but I'm a lady. Lol

OldRecommendation897 · 2022-08-31T22:49:10+00:00

How tall are you

Frdoco11 · 2022-09-01T00:16:53+00:00

Good for you, man..

lana_del_reymysterio · 2022-09-01T00:53:49+00:00

Have been in a similar situation, got myself into great shape and started dressed much better and felt much more confident in myself.

However, I had the complete opposite reaction from women IRL. Women my age used to be much friendlier to me and would even approach me from time to time. Whereas now, they're a lot more cold and standoffish to me, and give off those deer in headlights kind of vibes; they treat me like I'm a bear or something.

Tinder though is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Literally every other demographic treats me far better now though.

Glenncinho · 2022-09-01T01:02:58+00:00

I remember I used to get mad girls because… I just didn’t care about them. I wanted my ex lmao

Eventually I was all better but the game never left

cormacru999 · 2022-09-01T01:34:50+00:00

What's interesting is that you seem to think that a woman that YOU find more attractive is somehow also so different from a woman you find less attractive, that you malfunction. They are still both women & while perhaps most people with agree with you that woman A is not as attractive as woman B, you've somehow convinced yourself that they are world's apart instead of just women. It sounds like you're psyching yourself out, which may have more to do with how YOU see YOU, your own self worth.

bandsupjay · 2022-09-02T09:11:28+00:00

Hmm. Maybe nervousness? That “thinking” though about thinking you can’t get hot girls. Are you watching porn? I find that I get more nervous and think I can’t get any girls despite my success when I fall into porn. To me though it sounds like subconsciously you think you aren’t good enough. You can try fixing that and just know you are good enough and look at the evidence you have resulting that. Gl

Another solution I have for you is stop pedestalizing hot girls and thinking so much. Relax, allow yourself to be yourself and just stop caring so much about outcomes or anything. Treat it like a regular conversation and allow your authentic self to come out when she flirts with you. Whatever appears for you in that moment say it, judging that it’s not totally beyond inappropriate for the context.

Agreeable-You9777 · 2022-08-31T16:10:25+00:00

Treat them like a potential friend, act like you’re not interested, or act like you’re into their friend. I always get good results when I do this. Girls say I’m so easy to talk to (thought I was awkward and weird to talk lmao). You don’t feel pressured so you don’t act weird but rather confident and smooth. You’ll be talking about normal stuff rather than hitting on her so she’ll say stuff like this. “Why isn’t he into me?” “Why is he interested in my friend when I’m hotter?”. It’ll drive her crazy and want to talk to you more. Then all you have to do is just talk about anything you want and it’s game over

theAliasOfAlias · 2022-08-31T19:25:25+00:00

Seduction is about enticing a woman to be open and flirty. You do that by stimulating and activating their inner little girl. Next time a 10 approaches you, imagine what she would look like as a 5 year old with pigtails and braces. Then ask the question: “do I like the personality this girl’s parents have instilled in her?” It’s as simple as that.

2022-08-31T13:25:51+00:00

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Sure-Wish3240 · 2022-08-31T16:19:40+00:00

Rewiring the brain can be hard. We are social animals and we are self conscious of our standings on the pack. But those standings change faster than we perceive. You went from taken to single. But now you have been validated by your ex , so you gained ranks from being fit but also from being a stable partner.

There is no Shame in going 404 on a 10. But once you fuck a 10, nothing the world can send your way will caught you flat footed. One of my highest achievements at work was when i took a leadership position and have to deal with other managers. The most feared was a 6" ginger that spent her hours at the gym. She had the habit of making absurd demands from other teams and get away with it. She used her assets to overwhelm males with height and looks.

That didnt worked on me.

I had a 10 once. I had felt the love and desire of a woman so beautiful that not even Gisele Bundchen could 404 me, much less that red witch.

I kept looking her in the eyes and when she tried to use height and body language to establish dominance i resorted to full boredom mode: look, i AM a nice guy, i treat people equally, you are asking me to give your team better treatment, and the whole reason i AM respected at my job is because i dont do that.

Then i quickly changed my eyes to her boobs ass and lips and elevated my voice: i dont that at ALL! She understood that i considered her assets stunning but irrelevant for my decision. Around the 3rd time she tried that BS on me she decided to support my decisions instead of questioning them.

NilacTheGrim · 2022-08-31T16:20:37+00:00

If you're doing this good now.. wait until you get to be over 30. They fall out of the sky (for some men) after that age. I dunno what it is -- I think women just in general are attracted to older men or to men that seem sufficiently aged.

If you are doing this good now you will absolutely clean up after 30. Just keep that in mind when weighing out your life plan..

Source: Am over 40 now.. I was doing ok after college and I thought it couldn't get much better. Boy was I wrong. After age 30 it was .. well.. sexual nirvana for me!

below298 · 2022-08-31T23:54:46+00:00

That makes a lot of sense.

I’m not as fit as you describe but as a teen girls never looked at me. But as a extremely confident man with a good smile and thick facial hair I definitely have eyes look my way.

I’ve always found it to be kinda shallow people are that way cause I much prefer someone have genuine interest into me as I do for them but that’s how it is.

2022-08-31T14:03:28+00:00

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zapadz · 2022-08-31T14:46:52+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5Z7t3ypqHM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c6WbG7rK5M

2022-08-31T15:26:28+00:00

Yep. Over 3 years that anxiety will fade and you will turn into a different person. You'll get used to it. Your views on girls will completely shift and won't align with friends as a result. I know from experience. Guys are in awe of me now when I effortlessly go up to a beautiful girl, talk to her, dance, make out with her, and get her number.

excentrik-art · 2022-08-31T19:58:27+00:00

Try not to view girls as the prize, putting them on the piedestal.

TRY (and fail many times) TO THINK THAT : Those girls approach you to actually talk to you about stuff, life, friends and familly. Just talk about values, politics, what you like and dislike. No hidden agenda, no lies, no sexual innuendos. View them as your potential friends .... (in case you look for LTR).

[... if you are not looking for LTR, or the girls is hot but for the streets, well, treat her accordingly. Never respect her, never treat her seriously, never trust her. Just enjoy the ride and get the hell out as soon as it looks like trouble and leave no traces]

ShaidarHaran2 · 2022-08-31T16:49:13+00:00

gives me error code 404.

Like everything, exposure creates familiarity and your system can't throw that panic every time, well it can if it's a deeper phobia but it's probably just nerves. Just keep doing it and trying to talk to them normally as often as possible.

raatdigedi · 2022-08-31T16:49:25+00:00

Can you post your transformation here or in DM?

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2022-08-31T19:59:27+00:00

Never had a problem talking to gorgeous women. My problem is small talk. I am absolute shit at it. I guess the easiest solution would be having a story you like to tell then tailor your interaction with her so that you get to tell your story.

RangersFan243 · 2022-08-31T22:48:16+00:00

What style do you have like what brands do you shop

LeaderOfWolves · 2022-09-01T04:28:42+00:00

Like bro I had a fine 18 yo girl I was hangin with playing pingpong/pool & we were vibing goid hitting it off but she has a bf who wasn't even there oddly but w/e.. Then Her cute female friend pops out of nowhere & they start talkin bout how they have off tomorrow & how they're doing shrooms & smoking at their place 5 minutes away... I was like... Ok badass sounds like an awesome time i love that stuff! But like... Wtf was I supposed to do? Invite myself? So the bitches left me there, no invite... Still pissed.. I see her again I'm telling her don't even talk to me 😠

H8beingmale · 2022-09-01T23:49:37+00:00

girls approaching you? interesting, that normally never happens and normally never will, some people think the world is slowly changing in this regard, however, i think it will forever be in the extreme minority for women to approach a guy, the burden or damn testosterone will keep it that way

2022-09-06T22:14:33+00:00

Where are you when you get approached?

SonnyT2021 · 2022-09-13T23:34:16+00:00

Work on your conference once you feel good within yourself your unstoppable and it’s a numbers game the more women you talk to the easier it gets the more confident you become and everyone loves a confident person, pretty girls are just as insecure as average girls and half the time guys are too scared to approach them So just be cool, relaxed and confident, good luck 👍

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	569
Comments	188
Date	August 31, 2022 10:16 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/x29uxb/im_not_used_to_this_level_of_interest_from_hotter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1250889 https://theredarchive.com/post/1250889

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