How to politely tell girls that you don't want to stay in touch?

kanyesbathroommirror · 2022-08-14T17:25:11+00:00

Lady here. I agree with you that ghosting is lame. Maybe something to the effect of, "Hey there! Glad to see you're doing well. I had a great time with you in [city], but that's as far as this goes for me. Thanks for being sweet. Safe travels."

I always think it's kinder to be direct than to leave the other person hanging. Sure, you can ghost, but if the roles were reversed, how would you like the other person to treat you?

incognito3107 · 2022-08-14T20:02:36+00:00

There is nothing wrong with having friends to share experience, right? If such conversations aren't that interesting for you, you can just slowly pay less and less effort towards it, and it should dissolve naturally. If the girl is still being persistant, you can gently tell her that she should not pursue contact too much as you won't meet again probably.

bitchybarbie82 · 2022-08-14T17:56:59+00:00

“Hey I’m sorry I’m just super busy with traveling which makes it almost impossible to stay in touch with people I’ve met, my family, and friends. Because of that I don’t maintain relationships with people I don’t know if I’ll ever see again. Not trying to hurt your feelings, I just want you to know because I don’t appreciate it when I feel like I’m being ghosted so I prefer to be honest. Hope you understand”

TonyToss · 2022-08-14T16:07:11+00:00

Just be honest: hey, you're sweet, but this isn't going to work. I wish you the best

AffectionateShift843 · 2022-08-14T18:33:02+00:00

Op belongs to the streets

bobsbitchtitz · 2022-08-14T19:39:01+00:00

Is it really ghosting if you just let if fizzle out?

ScuzeRude · 2022-08-14T20:43:05+00:00

This seems weird to me. You can’t “ghost” a person who isn’t actually an established part of your life. Usually, when people travel, I think it’s normal to allow things to just not go anywhere with every person you meet. How in the world could that be sustainable?

Don’t respond, don’t respond in an enthusiastic way, or don’t respond in a timely way. It’s not necessary or welcome to spell it out. It’s already understood, even if it doesn’t seem like it. My .02

great_account · 2022-08-14T15:42:22+00:00

Just say "hey I'm not interested in pursuing this. Sorry. Good luck with everything"

curtains20 · 2022-08-14T23:32:07+00:00

Man I’m sorry but the way that OP describes his encounters and the people he meets, along with some of the absolutely unhinged suggestions in this thread are so sad to look at.

Like omg, writing a breakup message because someone you briefly met texts you a bit after you left town? It’s super uncool, unnecessarily mean and thoughtless.

Do you think you’re the center of the world or something? These women are probably just living their life and sending you a nice message and mostly forgetting about it as they go on living their life.

It is completely normal not to reply to every message you get. To directly reject someone and tell them you don’t want to keep in touch is so unnecessary unless they are being very pushy. Also this has nothing to do with ghosting.

You aren’t being considerate or nice and your actions will only cause people to feel bad about themselves for no reason. If you don’t reply they’re probably gonna just forget about you. You don’t even live there.

Either say something nice but not very engaging, or don’t say anything at all. But do not start telling every person who sends a text message or two that you never want to speak to them again unless you just want to make people feel crappy.

MorningDue_ · 2022-08-14T22:32:08+00:00

“Hey, I don’t see our relationship going further, and don’t have the time/space to maintain another friendship right now.”

fiorediciliegio · 2022-08-14T19:42:24+00:00

23f here. I really value upfront honesty even if it stings. I'd rather be told upfront, hey I don't see this going further, but I wish you the best rather than hear the "let's just be friends".

Hopefully others will see it this way too. Short term discomfort > long term frustration

soul_hyacinths · 2022-08-15T00:07:33+00:00

"i had a great time with you, but the connection we have isn't the one i'm looking for rn and i'm not looking to keep in touch. i wish you the best in your travels!"

Butter-85 · 2022-08-14T14:33:34+00:00

I don’t think there is a polite way to say it. If you don’t want to ghost, just be slow in replies and give very short answers with no effort to continue the convo. They’ll get the point.

Blaphrodite · 2022-08-14T19:36:53+00:00

Well, king douche. You don’t.

You ghost.

What were you going to say? Sorry, if I’m not fucking you I have no interest in speaking with you? Nah, that would be stating the obvious and extra douche

ncsakira · 2022-08-15T02:10:17+00:00

Maybe tell them that you have so many relationships already 😂

YellowCosmicWarrior · 2022-08-15T05:23:42+00:00

How do you find them on Insta, can you tell, please? I assume you travel solo and so do they. This is what I do as well but never considered Insta as a medium.

quadfintryfin · 2022-08-15T08:14:22+00:00

If you’re not interested just leave them on read. That’s literally the norm these days.

Happens much more often to men on dating apps than women but I think it’s still the new norm.

guywitheasypassword · 2022-08-15T12:42:18+00:00

It's not you, its me

VoiceAccomplished502 · 2022-08-15T13:52:56+00:00

How do you close with girls on insta?

Handle-me-timber · 2022-08-14T17:17:10+00:00

You don’t have to be polite about it. They aren’t going to take it well (in most cases) anyway. Can’t take the hit to their ego.

It was cool meeting you but this doesn’t have any future.

Chizxyy · 2022-08-14T19:47:39+00:00

Just don't respond. They'll be aight

Taurusamazing92 · 2022-08-14T18:03:08+00:00

Tell her to fuck outta here

Used-Engineering4996 · 2022-08-14T14:03:19+00:00

How are you meeting them?

Basic85 · 2022-08-14T16:22:27+00:00

Just do what women do all the time to men, just ghost them. Don't worry about polite to them as they have many choices when it comes to partners. They didn't feel sorry for me.

shusain2991 · 2022-08-14T16:51:23+00:00

Don't worry about girls.... There is no lack of options for them. Do what you want

Kapi19 · 2022-08-14T19:00:59+00:00

Why to say anything at all? Why would you wanna not ghost them? It's normal that you can loose interest in contacting with someone both virtually and in irl.
You must decide with what priorities you'll go next. If you say that you have good connection, but care the most about scoring the points, just ghost them.
If not, you're confusing yourself and must find what you truly want from them.

Nefertiti2021 · 2022-08-15T14:33:12+00:00

You need to ghost them bro. Is the only good way. Wtf you want to do? Say "no thanks" like a kid?

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-08-14T17:08:40+00:00

just do what they do, ghost lol

Competitive-Link-912 · 2022-08-14T17:37:46+00:00

Just tell them it was nice meeting them but you don’t see it working out. Simple. No need to overthink or lie about this bro.

anicknameyo · 2022-08-14T18:40:47+00:00

Why don't you want to stay in touch, especially with the girls you haven't slept with?

lIIlIIninja · 2022-08-14T20:33:02+00:00

Ghosting is psychological mindfuckery, so don’t do that initially. Just send a short, direct (to the point) message, along the lines of: “you’re very sweet, but I have no interest with keeping in touch anymore.”

You don’t have to explain further if you’re not in a relationship, or haven’t been talking for a long time. And leave it at that. If she tries to give you shit, then you can ghost her. If she asks why, just be honest and say you’re “no longer interested in keeping in touch, nothing more, nothing less.” And wish her well.

epimpstyle · 2022-08-14T18:53:53+00:00

Other people from reddit have huge problems approaching a single girl. It looks like you are "special"... which is your secret ?

daysinnroom203 · 2022-08-14T20:18:32+00:00

From the gate. If you’re not interested in knowing them, then don’t give them impression otherwise.

drogha · 2022-08-15T08:22:09+00:00

Don't ghost them, call them once a while letting them know how your work schedule is and how often you would be talking or messaging them. Little bye little it will die off. You might meet one in a different city along your travels.

azicre · 2022-08-15T09:19:17+00:00

2 week notice.

SilenceisGolden29 · 2022-08-15T12:27:07+00:00

Stop being a fucking psycho. Learn some emotional control and be a real man.

Text them, “ hey I had a great time, if I am ever back in town I will hit you up. Have a good one cheers!”

imadethisonthetoliet · 2022-08-14T20:51:09+00:00

Stop messaging them

blu3phive · 2022-08-14T21:48:58+00:00

Just tell them they need to improve themselves in whatever aspect you think they have a deficiency and to contact you when they’ve made improvements. Most people who have the world handed to them will become complacent and chose the easy route and not improve themselves for someone else’s validation when they can get attention elsewhere for cheap and easy. You can benefit two ways here: lazy and complacent person leaves your circle or you can choose to add a motivated person in if they improve.

Impossible_Yellow751 · 2022-08-14T21:03:40+00:00

Just say I only want sex I Don’t want you Or care about but sex Make it Clearly you only WAnt sex that way you meet women who only want sex there are women who are just sexually into just into hook up culture that way no One gets feeling or get attached to anyone puts less confusion

postitnotesrock · 2022-08-14T22:21:50+00:00

Ever hear of ghosting someone?

neverfearreality · 2022-08-14T20:09:12+00:00

Counter question… where you meeting all these girls 😂😭

zisehuar · 2022-08-14T22:19:38+00:00

Excellent, this ghosting has to go. How about something along the lines of, "It was great connecting with you but I am pretty busy/pre-occupied now. I don't want to waste your precious time so go have some fun now". Ok, I see this is not easy. But your honesty is commendable and you'll figure it out!

Mr_Throwaway2834 · 2022-08-14T23:39:28+00:00

Just boldly say it lol

austinjameskaili · 2022-08-14T23:41:02+00:00

yo idk why everyone’s hating on him - i’d rather someone tell me that they don’t want to continue a “relationship” with me instead of being ghosted . not everyone can handle being ghosted anyway some people get hella clingy or anxious or whatever n they need someone to be blunt w them

cormacru999 · 2022-08-15T01:42:15+00:00

Are you confused about what polite is? Just be polite. "Hey, just wanted to let you know that I'm not going to stay in touch after this." You can make it better by adding a bit more, if you want, like "I really enjoy when we did (that thing you did), but I've decided to break contact.

Of course, the real issue here is that you are yet another man who can't seem to handle being friends with women you aren't going to sleep with, which suggests that you don't see them as legitimate people, as people worth your time & effort, worth any friendship & you're struggling because you must sense that's inherent kind of shitty.

Are you confused about what polite is? Just be polite. "Hey, just wanted to let you know that I'm not going to stay in touch after this." You can make it better by adding a bit more, if you want, like "I really enjoyed when we did (that thing you did), but I've decided to break contact.

Key-Western7803 · 2022-08-15T02:22:58+00:00

👻

icouch · 2022-08-15T02:38:29+00:00

I like the Patrick Bateman approach

"Evelyn I'm sorry...I just...you're not terribly important to me"

Neo-Rio · 2022-08-15T03:47:06+00:00

Time to call on Supertramp:

https://youtu.be/qJwJ\_A\_SWBs

Importchef · 2022-08-15T04:14:56+00:00

I usually keep my messages short and slowly increase response time. Im super sure the other person know that meeting again is rare.

But again who knows if you will see them again. It has happened to me a few times.

Dont act as if they dont understand the logistics in seeing each other again.

Just be nice and respond back with subtle hints of non interest.

Emergency-Brick-1322 · 2022-08-15T04:54:50+00:00

Tell them ILY and they’ll ghost you forver, works like a charm

Why_am_I_LikeThis27 · 2022-08-15T05:03:01+00:00

I think you should tell them you're not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship and see where that gets you. You deliver that message respectfully and you're being polite imo.

AvidReader45 · 2022-08-15T05:30:44+00:00

Just give her very short, preferably one-word, answers and she will lose interest quickly

TreyK0 · 2022-08-15T08:00:14+00:00

At this point you heard it 20 times and that's just being direct, rip off the Band-Aid.

What I'm curious about is how do you meet these girls on Insta? I'm legit curios on how that work because I never thought that was possible.

Splitje · 2022-08-15T10:01:16+00:00

I wouldn't be too direct about it. You can just shoot them a message from time to time. Keep it short but still positive, most girls will get the message. These things kind of tend to fizzle out after a while anyway. In that way you can still get in touch after a while.

For these types of interactions there's really no point in setting hard boundaries or esteblishing where the relationship is at etc etc. If you really get the idea she's pursuing something serious with you for an extended amount of time and she seems really invested in you then you may be a little more clear about it.

alexaxl · 2022-08-15T10:27:26+00:00

Chasing Chads. Lol.

They can’t and/ or won’t handle rejection well. Especially online and instead igniting and giving them fuel for some online malign campaign,

be curt.. concise.. brief and close ended.

Don’t let your sweetness be taken for, let me keep chasing him up thoughts.

Avoid open ended Responses.

Eg.

Thanks.

Good.

K.

Gbye.

If you think some can handle it..

Be crisp..

I don’t like being ghosted or ghosting others. It was nice to meet/ connect but but not keen on continuing, long distance chatting etc.

Thanks. Have a nice life.

And if you want to leave a thread open for later...

“If we ever cross paths again”

0hleg · 2022-08-15T10:46:23+00:00

“Hey I enjoyed this but with my work I can’t maintain a relationship right now noir am I looking for one, my work does not really allow me time to keep in touch either. Just wanted to let you know ahead of time, hope you understand”

iltempopassa · 2022-08-15T11:23:02+00:00

Which country did you go around in? Also did the same, but failed to meet any of them from insta

Title	How to politely tell girls that you don't want to stay in touch?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	221
Comments	131
Date	August 14, 2022 1:52 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wo6wc9/how_to_politely_tell_girls_that_you_dont_want_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-politely-tell-girls-that-you-dont-want-to.1252071 https://theredarchive.com/post/1252071

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