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[β]great_account 319 points320 points321 points 3 years ago (47 children) | Copy Link
Tbh I think it's easier to find a FWB now than in my 20s.
[β]Peacebone000 3 years ago [recovered] (43 children) | Copy Link
But what's the best way to get one? Is there anything in particular to look for if they would be down?
[β]great_account 222 points223 points224 points 3 years ago (40 children) | Copy Link
Great question. I think having a large social circle helps. I have a bit of a reputation as a player, so 1) that builds some attraction for some women 2) all the women in your circle know that if they get involved with you, it'll probably be a mostly physical relationship.
The other place is bars. Lots of horny drunk women available, many it whom want you to take them home. I've had good luck banging coworkers too, but I work in healthcare which is notorious for employing horn dogs.
I think one of the biggest things is making sure the women who get into bed with you have a good experience. Make sure they cum. If they're just having sex for fun, they will tend to hang out with guys who make them orgasm. It needs to be mutually beneficial.
Generally speaking fwb situations are never defined as such. They sort of happen organically and they are generally transient. Typically lasting a few weeks to months. There is no pressure to keep them going.
[β]ActionEve 48 points49 points50 points 3 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Do you eat all of their pussies? Or just the ones you want to?
[β]great_account 82 points83 points84 points 3 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I like eating pussy, so yes to both questions.
[β]jasondougies 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
are you scared of oral stds?
[β]great_account 31 points32 points33 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not any more than genital stds
[β]MaleGigolo 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
hey sort of happen organically and they are generally transient. Typically lasting a few weeks to
lol
[β]Separate_Taste3428 18 points19 points20 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
A lot of people donβt care, itβs crazy right
[β]rapewithconsent773 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Can't really demand seeing test results from everyone pre-sex. So, what you're left with is the smell test. And protection. And luck.
[β]13esq -4 points-3 points-2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A lot of people are paranoid π€·πΌββοΈ
[β]Separate_Taste3428 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Itβs call being responsible for oneβs and future/current partners health, unless you like many others are scared to get tested
[β]TuckerTheCuckFucker 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My manβs in healthcare.. Iβm sure heβs regularly tested
[β]jasondougies -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
how does doing regular testing help prevent the spread of stds?
[β]Raging_D 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If everyone is tested regularly, then you know if you have something. If you have something learn what to do to cure or prevent the passage of the disease.
Or in the case of herpes, let your partner know you have it before getting sexually active...which they never tell...
[β]cpabound24 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Any of them in ny state ππ
[β]MigBac 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
how old are you lol
[β]Peacebone000 3 years ago [recovered] (17 children) | Copy Link
I did pretty well a few years ago but I'm in a real slump now as most of my friends are married or moving away. I'm trying to meet new people and I have but it can be hard to maintain. I would like to find a wingman or another dude who's in the same kind of situation but that's even hard to find and not sure how to go about doing pick up at a bar alone. And not sure about coworkers as I don't want any drama.
How many girls you have to talk to and try with to actually have success?
[β]ElTuffo 41 points42 points43 points 3 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
I know they get a bad rap here on Reddit, but try dating apps bro.
Thereβs a lot of shit you see on Reddit that gets upvotes and tons of affirming comments that just do not reflect reality. The hate for dating apps is one of them. Iβm a 40 year old man, and I donβt know a single person over 30 who met their SO after 2014 or so who did not meet on a dating app, including myself.
Dating apps arenβt perfect, but theyβre not as bad Reddit makes them seem. Iβd like to think I was a good with women and got laid alot in my 20s, but ho-lee-shit when I got divorced in my early 30s and got spit out into the dating app world, it was a like whole other level. All of sudden, rather than go out to the bar to meet women, i could sit on my couch in my underwear and meet women. It was a wonderful, game changing thing.
[β]Peacebone000 3 years ago [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link
I don't have any real beef with dating apps but the people on them lol I do my best but it still sucks. When I do meet up with someone from an app it feels like I was just lucky more than anything.
[β]c4rdc0llector11 21 points22 points23 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I read a post on Reddit somewhere a while back about tricking the algorithm on tinder like thisβ¦.. for every 4 swipes one has to be right, and three have to be left. So what happens when you get back to back girls you find attractive? Close the app out on your phone and then open it back up, it shuffles the deck. And restart the process. Donβt worry about constantly closing the app out, youβll be doing it a lot.
I actually tried it once and I got more matches than Iβve ever gotten before. Iβd say Iβm probably a 5-7 from a girls perspective, so I know how hard it is to get matches. Iβve heard dudes say theyβre probably 9-10 and canβt get any matches. Iβve constantly deleted and made new accounts and could never get any matches. So I hope it works for you if u try. If you have a current profile set up, try it now. If itβs not working consider deleting that account and then creating a new one and try this process.
And on another note as someone turning 30 real soon and reading this reply chain, I know that feel of losing the social circle. All my high school and college friends I use to hang out with on the reg have gotten their shit together. Getting married, having babies, moving to different places for work, losing contact etc. it sucks getting old but I guess I gotta find a new social clique
[β]Peacebone000 3 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
This is interesting and I will try it out. Yeah it kinda sucks but it's life. I mean I have my shit together but I'm single and just doing my own thing. And I always like to go out and do stuff and I try to do more things alone but it makes me feel some type of way.
[β]c4rdc0llector11 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same here man!
[β]LeaderOfWolves 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Same boat but actually far worse... I can't stand the bar scene.. Drunk girls are annoying af to deal with...
[β]hugepenis 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup they really are.
[β]hartfordclub 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The Tinder Hackerer?
[β]c4rdc0llector11 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yes haha
[β]UknowNothingJohnSno 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's been a minute. But iirc i used to force close bumble because i realized that when you reopened the app they gave you matches in a pre-determined order that seemed to be geared toward engagement. Like 1 no, 2 match, 1 no, 1 match.
[β]videogames_ 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I agree just maximize your photos. If you still get no matches get feedback or workout and try again.
[β]ElTuffo 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Itβs not even just photos. I know some goofy looking motherfuckers who had success on dating apps. One is in great shape so like you said, hit the gym. Another goofy looking dude I know is a doctor, no need to expand on that.
You just need to maximize yourself! If youβre ugly you have to bring something else to bring to the table. Living in your parents basement, being unemployed, and playing video games all day wonβt do it, sorry.
[β]no_not_this 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Ugly dudes despise dating apps. Itβs easy to shit on something when it doesnβt work for you. Be the top 10 percent and they are a great tool to meet people. They key is to know how to use them. I pay for tinder and have 5-6 meetings set up before Iβm even in the country. Worth the money just for tinder passport.
[β]Peacebone000 3 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm not an ugly dude but I'm not tall (5'6) I am interesting and have lots to talk about so I have had success on apps but it just takes so much more damn time and convincing.
[+]no_not_this -11 points-10 points-9 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I donβt understand the point of this comment?
[–]Peacebone0009 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You said ugly dudes despise dating apps lol I don't but they suck more than they work for me at least. And I'm not shitting on them because they don't work it's just how it is.
[β]TuckerTheCuckFucker 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
find a wingman with this link
They have telegram and Facebook groups to find wingmen who are actively gaming in your city
[β]indecisive_maybe 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Typically lasting a few weeks to months. There is no pressure to keep them going.
Huh! So you basically have to keep finding new ones?
[β]great_account 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lol yes. Most people's end goal is to find a long term partner. Most FWBs will not become your long term partner, so by their nature, they're generally short term.
Ps: there are always exceptions. You can have a FWB for years, but those people are rare.
[β]indecisive_maybe 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
oh duh. yeah thanks for the explanation. I hope I can find a long-term FWB, I'm not fit for a relationship.
[β]MrColfax 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Are you a doctor? By coworkers do you mean doctors and nurses?
Yes to both questions
[β]MrColfax 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So the legends are true!
[β]jasonl1989 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You work in healthcare as a doctor or a nurse? How would someone that doesnβt work in healthcare get nurses ?
[β]great_account 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Be a cop or an EMT? Idk I never tried to get with one before med school.
[β]MexicanMulan 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You need a friend, then offer benefits! Go!ππΌ
[β]Ok-Ad-7247 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've found exactly the same thing. I'm 34, and had a couple. Dating was an option, but didn't have time to make a proper commitment to a real relationship. So, we just got on the good foot and did the bad thing on the regular.
[β]hyperkinesis247 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And it will be even easier in your 40s.
[β]Difficult_Ad_8299 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same
[β]atomant88 71 points72 points73 points 3 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
im turning 34 this week. have several FWBs. havent had any issues finding them. some i met as dates and we decided to stay casual, some were just friends until we started hooking up. both routes can work well
[β]Peacebone000 3 years ago [recovered] (15 children) | Copy Link
What sucks is that it's hard to get dates and when I do they want to actually date and I don't like them enough to want to date them and I don't want to lead them on. Did you say what you wanted before you both hooked up?
Also how did start hooking up when you were just friends? There have been some friends I wanted to hook up with but wasn't sure if they would have been open to it and I didn't want to make things weird or ruin things.
[β]innergamedude 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Who I had a casual hook up with vs. who I dated was entirely a matter of her and had nothing to do with what I did.
It's almost like they come to you with their own intentions. :) If she wants a hook up, she will find a way to wind up drunk with you at the end of the night. If she wants to date, she'll go along with your invitations to do a walk in the park/ice skating/fucking pottery night.
[β]zisehuar 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm a woman and this is SO TRUE. Do try dating apps though.
[β]atomant88 22 points23 points24 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
invest in your game my man. read the wiki. play the numbers game
the questions youre asking are very basic questions
i will say that for escalating with friends ; treat it like any other seduction. build up the intimacy, turn them on, make it an emotional decision not a logical one.
[β]mmmm_frietjes 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Were you flirting with these friends from the start or was there a period of platonic friendship before you decided to change things?
[β]atomant88 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i mean for real im always open to sleeping with my friends, i always try to keep the door open. they know im down, they know im good in bed, they know i treat my partners with respect. im always flirting and we're all pretty open about sex talk and things like that
[–]Peacebone0002 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You're right. Thanks and I'll try to remember that.
[β]Background_Figure688 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Wiki?
[β]atomant88 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
the r/seduction wiki on the main page
[β]Background_Figure688 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
U mean the posts?
[β]atomant88 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah the wiki has links to the best previous posts mainly
[β]a6project 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Whatβs the wiki? How do you figure out when to hook up with who?
[β]chips_and_hummus 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Listen here's my take as someone who exclusively uses online dating with good success and is late 20s. Whether a girl will be FWB with you is largely pre-determined before you meet. She will either be open to that or not. If she is open to it you can definitely screw it up by not having a good personality (or having a good personality but not meshing with hers), or by being bad in bed, or by having bad communication.
Here's how it usually goes for me. Get a date from Hinge. Go on the date and have a good time. You'll usually hook up between dates 1-3. You can generally tell what a girl is looking for from the vibe, but in any case to actually be sure you're going to need to have a conversation. I usually hook up first before having the convo but you can have it before if you want. It can be easier to secure FWB if you have already shown you're good in bed .
As for the conversation, experiment with in-person vs texting. I've done both, and both can work. You basically say that you like them and like spending time with them, but don't want anything serious right now. Here's the kicker. There are no magic words. They either are going to be down with that or not. It hardly has anything to do with you, and way more to do with where they are at in their life. This is ASSUMING you are already chill, they like being with you, feel that you are secure, and you're decent to good in bed. What this means is that sometimes the girl is going to say "sorry im not interested in that" and sometimes she will say she is in the same place. BOOM. That is it. Accept that not every woman wants FWB, so there is no special sauce other than being a fun and respectful man. If you have that nailed down, some share of the women you proposition to FWB will accept.
Sometimes (if not often) they will say they are not interested in that but come back later and want to hook up again because they realize you are a respectful person who communicated his needs and walked away politely when they said no. Don't be needy.
[β]zisehuar 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You'll only get drama if you're not honest. The drama comes from actual hurt feelings when things aren't clear. So just be honest with the ladies.
[β]GlitteringPause8 -4 points-3 points-2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You could just put looking for casual on your dating apps to find a few
I do have it in an indirect way but dating apps really suck for guys as we all know.
[β]hookedonfonicsmunky 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
shyt it's hard to find an anything with anything these days, but i will tell you what's easy to find..... a gym membership and good dietπ
[β]UrFavPlayerIsBack 57 points58 points59 points 3 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Harder in ur 30s?
Dude. 30s is when all the fun just begins
[β]Peacebone000 3 years ago [recovered] (14 children) | Copy Link
I know and it's been better so far but I'm just in a slump right now and it's frustrating.
[β]UrFavPlayerIsBack 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Do u even approach chicks?
[β]Peacebone000 3 years ago [recovered] (12 children) | Copy Link
I don't and it's something I'm trying to work on. I just don't know where as I don't want to approach anywhere I frequent in case it gets awkward and I have to go back.
[β]UrFavPlayerIsBack 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
When was it awkward to approach a girl in starbucks and ask whats the best drink to get? Or at bus atop and ask if sheβs waiting for the same bus as you that she could talk to you? Or at the street and ask if u made her wait so long for you?
Idk where the βawkwardβ moment is tbh. The only awkward thing i see is when u wanna do smtn yet dont do it. Does it sound natural? To me.. nah man.
[β]Peacebone000 3 years ago [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link
I don't go out so much alone but with a friend or friends. The only time I'm really out alone is to do errands and I'm usually at the same spots so the people at these places know and recognize me. I don't want to be the guy that's always hitting on girls when I'm at these places.
[β]UrFavPlayerIsBack 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Question: u wanna be βthat amazing handsome charismatic mfβ or βthat quiet comfortable nice guyβ?
Well tbh I have had a rough past with constant rejection and low self esteem and I have come a long way but there are times I still feel like the old me and I don't deserve what I really want. It's something I'm still dealing with at times but I know I have to overcome it. Thanks for your words of encouragement and I am actually going to write that down to remind myself who I really want to be and who I really am.
[β]UrFavPlayerIsBack 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Now answer to the question i asked
[β]Peacebone000 3 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
I am that amazing handsome charismatic mf!
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack6 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I knowπ. They do as well.
Yet ur hesitating to show them a bad a$$ time
[–]Peacebone0004 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Thanks man I really appreciate that. I get too much in my head sometimes and it's something I'm working on. Any tips that would help?
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack8 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yep. Do the work be4 even getting in ur head
Its all about habits. Ur brain is trained to get in the head and search for excuses, solutions or painkillers.
When getting in ur head, tell urself βI dont have time to think about it rn. Iβll leave the eating-myself-from-inside part for later. Now I gotta actβ
It takes 21-30 days to form new habit. Dont miss any day and itβll be on automatic mode
[–]Peacebone0001 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Thanks. I'm going to give it a shot!
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack3 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Go ahead. And get back at us with an update
Thanks and I'll do my best!
[β]jacklychi 3 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Looks matter a lot.
If you are in your 30s, in shape, have hair, no wrinkles -> then it will be much easier than in your 20s.
[β]CoffinEluder 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yep. You shouldnβt have an issue scoring the 24-29 year olds
[β]MrColfax 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I imagine it wouldn't be difficult being in your 30s because if you find a fellow 30-something Y/O (or late 20s) they may want a FWB arrangement as plenty of people are very busy at that age.
I have heard stories of people who are too busy with their careers to have a relationship but still want the release and relaxation that sex gives so an FWB arrangement is ideal for them.
[β]lIIlIIninja 20 points21 points22 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No. Itβs easier to find a fwb than a relationship π― Everyone just wants to screw, not commit.
[–]Peacebone0007 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Ironically my last relationship started off as just a hookup. And I think I was lucky more than anything.
[β]Semaj2022 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I never had one AT all & it fucking sucks elephant ass.
[β]CocoBabeNYC 38 points39 points40 points 3 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
You have to go for women either in their 20s or 40s. The 30s are a weird place for women and there is a mad dash to secure a hubby and procreate and you don't want the drama.
[β]great_account 44 points45 points46 points 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Totally disagree. I've been dating women in their 30s and yeah there's tons who are trying to get married, but there's also plenty who are over the bullshit and just want some dick.
[β]ElTuffo 15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Agreed.
The 30s has tons of women who are just getting through their first divorce and looking to hoe around for a bit and tons of single women who never want to get married. I donβt think there was any difference in βtrying to get marriedβ between women in their 30s and 20s that I noticed, if anything it may have even been less common.
Thereβs always a lot of *people, not just women, looking for relationships and not hookups across all age groups. With that said there are plenty of people, not just men, looking for hookups and not relationships across all age groups.
The sooner these sweeping generalizations about sex and age groups stop, the sooner people can realize theyβre creating these things in their own head to justify why they donβt get laid.
With that said, none of this applies to teenagers, theyβre in their own little world.
[β]Peacebone000 3 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I try not to generalize but the women I do get attention from want something more serious or long term. Not sure if it's something about me but I can only think it's that they are at that age to want to settle down and they assume I also want that because of my age.
[β]TuckerTheCuckFucker 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The way to get a FWB from these women is to continue to date & fuck them casually until they bring it up
When they do.. just say:
βhey I really enjoy our time together and I will treat you like a queen everytime we hang out but Iβm just not looking for a relationship right nowβ
Then let them proceed. If they feel youβll genuinely be chill with them and treat them with respect they will most likely be down to keep it casual.
If they say theyβre not interested in that, just say:
βWell thatβs a bummer to hear, I like hanging out with you but I understand. Let me know if you change your mindβ
Iβve had a good amount hmu a week or more later saying they changed their mind and would like to keep seeing me
Why?
You held your ground ANDβ¦
Good dick is hard to come by. they get horny after awhile and realize thereβs no quality candidates to sleep with.
They can always change their mind again if they meet someone they really like so just let them know they can always come back to you and youβre good
[β]ChiIdishcambino 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly this. Thereβs single women in all ages. Trying to say βafter 30 they just donβt want sexβ is an excuse
[β]random-naija-guy 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Generalizations are just that. Generalizations. Not rules. They have utility in them of themselves to describe what TENDS to be the case. It's implicit that they're not ALWAYS the case. Itβs not like theyβre rules. Theyβre fitting descriptions, not prescriptions.
For whatever reason, cultural or biological or whathaveyou, women in their 30s tend to be baby-crazy. Yup.
I donβt really have likeβ¦ a big point Iβm building up to. I just kind of felt like being pedantic :p
[β]cronasminate 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
This particular way of thinking is so stupid lmao. It applies to everything and it makes you think it will work.
"I've been catching fish with my barehands and yeah it's harder and you are probably better off using a fishing rod but there are plenty of fish that can be caught with your barehands!"
[β]great_account 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I mean if you're just trying to fuck, the subset of women in their 30s who just want dick are way easier to bed than younger women and frankly, they're not that hard to find.
[β]cronasminate 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Dude is specifically talking about women who'd be good fwbs without the drama.
Imo the best FWBs I've had were women in their 30s.
I know there are but they are far in between.
[–]Peacebone0003 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yeah I'm trying to avoid that but I feel weird going out with someone in their 20s. I just have to get over it.
[β]mymindkillsme 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
i was always so against fwb as im definitely a relationship type person; however the last few guys i βdatedβ were duds. maybe i should try this fwb thing like you said, until i can find someone who is actually worthy of dating but in your 30s it all just looks so bleak. dating/fwb sounds like a lot of work.
If I was able to get dates and have fun on them I probably wouldn't care so much but it's starting to get to me that I just want to feel some type of physical touch. Only one girl agreed to go out with me this whole year and we are still talking and hanging out but she's also dating around while I'm trying to keep myself busy and not get too strong feelings for her. If you are a relationship type person and can get dates I don't see why because you keep learning more about what you want and don't want and it really shouldn't be that hard.
[β]mymindkillsme 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
not that hard? lol being a single mom of 2 autistic boys in my 30s my βdatesβ are very limited and go no where. its VERY hard trying to date when youβre over 30, divorced, and a single parent. βπ»
Sorry that I assumed you were single with no kids and you have my sympathy. It's that all I hear are women complain that there are no decent men to date at all. I know alot can be "duds" but they are out there. For a lot of guys it can basically come down to we just take what we can get because we don't get anything and it's how guys get taken advantage of.
[β]Shannolie0082 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
For me, being single opened up a plethora of opportunities for more casual relationships that were still consistent. I had two great FWB that I very much enjoyed spending time with and having sex with but didnβt want a relationship with due to life circumstances (Iβm usually much older and want different things). Itβs just a matter of conveying VERY clearly what youβd like and setting good boundaries that everyone understands and youβll both enjoy yourselves.
[–]Peacebone0005 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I have had fwb in the past but it's hard to get that without feeling like I'm using them or leading them on. And it seems harder for me now since I mostly attract girls my age and they aren't up for that.
[β]Jerophel 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
More important. Do you have access to a pool of new women? Does in that sense dating apps work for you? If yes all else is a matter of tecnique and stating expectations.
I don't and I'm trying but its hard and I feel like I have to start over with a whole new friend group. Dating apps just take so much time and effort for mostly nothing in return.
[β]punkman01 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Can I humbly suggest that if your long term goal is to find someone to spend the rest of your life with them a FWB arrangement will not help you. In fact I suspect FWB will be corrosive for development of future relationships. But that's just my opinion.
Well I am talking to someone that I would like to have a relationship with but I know she is dating around and I'm not sure where it's going to go between us. If it was easy to get dates I'm sure I could find someone I can really click with and want to date but I don't get anything. I'm at a point I'm just frustrated and it's getting to me and I don't want to get down and depressed again so a fwb is ideal for me right now. I appreciate your comment but it's not so simple that I can just go out and date around until I find someone I like enough to want a serious relationship with.
[β]punkman01 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You have my sympathies for the difficulties you have in finding someone to share your life with. So given your situation and your level of unhappiness how is a FWB ideal? I don't get the connection? I do wish you well.
I'm not exactly searching for someone to share my life with but if it happens it happens. It's ideal because I won't be coming from a place of neediness or desperation if I do meet someone I'm interested in. Being single and alone without any physical touch for a long period of time can have a negative effect even though I'm happy and content with everything else in my life. I was lonely and depressed for a long time and don't want to go back to that.
[β]punkman01 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the honesty. I think I should shut the hell up now. I will finish with the comment that I think FWB relationships are not healthy. However I wish you well.
[β]V4refugee 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just date a divorcee. They usually know what they want and will be down to be FWB without the drama. Youβll find them at whatever bar specializes in cheap mixed drinks.
[β]AYAMobius 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes and No. In your early 20s women are more willing to have fun. There's many women who want a serious relationship. There is however many looking for a good time, and if you have good chemistry with them/ are attractive, there will be those who are interested in you and willing to hookup casually. However after time many will catch feelings and may want a relationship.
In your 30s women are looking to settle down, start a family. They're not as adventurous and want more stability in life. However, if you're desirable and attractive, interesting , there will be women drawn to you and some of these women will be willing to be FWB if you make it known you're not looking for a relationship. It's easier in the sense that you yourself are more stable, more confident and experienced and thus have the ability to talk to women with much more ease. You're more than likely involved in hobbies and social circles where you are exposed to women who will find you attractive/ interesting and getting to know them and dating them will be aside , and fun. Many will want something serious but if you're upfront that you don't, some will be willing to have a good time/fling with you. Also in your 30s you will also meet women in their 20s who will also be interested in you and will be adventurous and exciting and if you are as well they will be attracted to you and will be interested in hooking up.
[β]OreOscar1232 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Idk I think you should stop avoiding being hurt and accept that in order to find someone you might have to get burnt but that might just be my optimism.
[β]Comfortable-Unit-897 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Had a CWB when I was 18, and none since (57). A few long term gfβs, but I miss my CWB!
[β]bitchybarbie82 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Itβs probably easier since by your 30βs youβve lost a lot of your anxieties around dating
[β]TTIsurvivors 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Whatever the 2022 version of backpage is would be the best place to find what youβre looking for.
[–]Peacebone00018 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I'm looking for a fwb not an escort lol
[β][deleted] 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[β]13-bald-turkeys 33 points34 points35 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
How would you know what it's like to be in your thirties if you're 21?
[β]HandingOutNyquil 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Easy man, you donβt time travel??
[β]pottttatttto 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Heβs a time traveler!
[β][deleted] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[β]13-bald-turkeys 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good luck. You're gonna need it.
[β]konsm1 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
After 30 the testorone levels start to drop so does the rest of the body. That's what i have read but im 27
[β]CoffinEluder 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
TRT
[β]Neo-Rio 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No, 30s is when it all kicks off!
Not harder at all. I tend to find that FWB is basically a woman being keen on a relationship but willing to bide her time with whatever your sexual kink is until she can either turn you into a serious prospect, or find someone offering the marriage proposal.
Best way to advertise casual sex is to not try too hard with women and state that your availability is difficult outside of right this very moment. Move them to sex, but if they get cold feet then tell them that you want to see them, but you only have this window of time, so if they want to see you it has to be then - and to give you a call.
[β][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You think too much and do too little. You also don't need an abundance mindset to deceive yourself, you need an entertaining mindset.
What do you mean by an entertaining mindset?
[–]ventseslav81 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Why not fuck them all? Arenβt they sexy?
[β]Gaurav_Rai -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think it's easier in 30s instead. Atleast for me it is.
How do you do it?
[β]Kobe_curry24 -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wtf is a FWB? Lmfaoooo
[β]Factcheckingkid 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Should be easy as maturity progresses amongst the generation but could be wrong
[β]jackedsoon 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
obviously
[β]Impossible_Yellow751 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Good luck I wanted to Do that but I caught feeling and now Iβm in love with my boyfriend that loves me and he told me letβs be friends with benefits I was a little pissed off when he said that but being the sneaky man he is he romantically stole my heart so good luck on finding a fling
I'm not trying to lead anyone on or hurt them but I do understand how it can happen if one person catches feelings. I'm open to something more if it happens but I'm not going to make them believe I do and will set boundaries.
[β]Impossible_Yellow751 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes be clear as possible cause women are sensitive Iβm a sensitive person and I had men who just wanted friends with Benefits I was glad they told me cause now we are strictly friends and It saved us both time some girls are more carefree fun go with the flow and for me because Iβm autistic I sometimes wish I was more free with dating but being honest with a person will prevent hurt feelings
[β]Glenncinho 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If anything itβs probably easier
[β]TiedHands 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I dont think age matters at all if you're attractive enough.
[β]TheStruggleBegins 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not really, Tan Tan is useful for it
[β]DoooshhBhagg 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's much easier
[β]MonchichiSalt 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm closer to 50 now than 40. My PSA:. People always want to fuck.
Just sayin'
[β]charm33 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes
[β]TheTruth221 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
havent reach 30 yet but i would think u should have more resources in 30s so it should be easier
[β]Normal-Profile-3893 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Firstly you going to date. When you have couple sex with some girl you will have two ways. First way it's you will say "sorry, but I don't wanna relationship, for me it's not a priority, so go fwb". It's nice way, but not effective. Many woman's will be leave you after this word's.
Second way. What we imply when we say "relationship"? It's phone calls every day, tender messages, general plans for the future Etc. Etc. So when you will fuck her couple times just don't do this action. And 2-3 month, maybe half years you will be have fwb. After this time, usually the girl either leaves or begins to blow your mind with relationships. Well, you didn't promise her anything, did you? We call this sterility in a relationship, when you do not promise what you are not going to fulfill.
[β]ilovefootball49 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I didn't have much of a problem in my 20's been absolute hell trying to find one recently.
[β]DeliberatelyInsane 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not so. Women get jaded too and are often open for casual nsa things
[β]Redylittle 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
2 words: single moms
[β][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[β]Redylittle 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
4 words: doesn't matter, had sex.
[β]rommelxcastro 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Try with girls between 21-24, I have had met many girls in this age who are open to be FWB, after 25 more likely looking for a husband
[β]Few_Sheepherder9554 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Does anyone has STREET ATTRACTION APPROACH TO LAY course
[β]Fluffy_Risk9955 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you're a man it's become easier in your 30s. If you're a woman it becomes more difficult in your 30s.
[β]IratusHonestus 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I actually found it to be much easier. By 30 everyone already has kids and is divorced. As long as you're relatively attractive and not a complete dickhead, you can really play the field as much as you want.
[β]majkaveli 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not at all, but finding a relationship, strap your seatbelt son π
[β]Successful_Teach366 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Try a women 10 years older than you, theyβre more likely to be just fwb consistently
[β]Hour-Explorer-7291 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A small social circle could make a woman want you too, it shows confidence as well, also being easily approachable
[β]nojremark 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
30's we're a very active time for me... Hit a rut in my middle 40's though... π
[β]Dumpster_slut69 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fwbs are great till someone catches feelings.
[β]below298 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Finding sex should not be difficult in modern day. Finding the βfriendβ part or an real lasting relationship.. man itβs easier to become a millionaire. I realize women hit on my constantly, but the moment I talk about anything real and they realize I donβt want JUST sex or JUST friendship.. ghosted lol
[β]Reasonable_Ad_6626 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'd suggest healing and working on your problems first.
And don't wait too long cause your looks will start to decay quite fast once mid-30ties. Then it's game over and you'll need to spend money to get attention.
I have been healing for years now and I'm in a better place than I was before. I'm being open as I can possibly be but I'm still going nowhere. I'm running out of solutions and ways to deal with it. Right now I'm just doing my best to cope and adapt.
[β]Minute_Opening_1643 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Easier
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