[deleted by user]

paddywacknack · 2021-09-15T17:05:14+00:00

You dont. You concentrate on your health and getting out of poverty. Could you get laid? Yea, but that should not be your priority right now.

boycott-mondays · 2021-09-15T14:13:23+00:00

Is it even possible to date or have friends or have any since of pride when living in poverty?

Yeah it's possible. We are all learning here, on how to be successful in the dating game.

It has nothing to do with money. One of my friends works as a cook, making $14 an hour, lives with his mom, no licenses, in his 30s and he sleeps with multiple girls, weekly (till this day, I'm still amazed). And he is very average looking. He is just extremely extremely laid back and girls come to him. He never hesitate and always says what ever is on his mind, no matter how controversial.

Once you know the seduction game, you are set. My friend is trying to train me in his ways. But can't quite figure it out

Edit) it's crazy how people are so doubtful of this. Just because a guy doesn't have a lot of money, doesn't mean he can't pick up loads of women. This is a real thing. If you can't believe, maybe you should look at your own values

Agreable_Actuator84 · 2021-09-15T15:22:57+00:00

You have asked this or very similar questions multiple times before in multiple forums. Can you please summarize the advice you’ve been given, what you have done to implement it and how has that worked?

I’d like to think that no situation is hopeless unless you give up, stop trying or don’t follow through on advice given when you ask for it.

swagoffbro · 2021-09-15T16:53:40+00:00

As cliche as it sounds, you gotta work on yourself first in this situation. If you feel you're miserable, the girl will feel the same way if you give off that vibe.

MetaphysicPhilosophy · 2021-09-15T17:13:37+00:00

I personally would worry more about fixing your financial situation first than trying to get dates. Your own well being is more important than securing sex or a date. Additionally, having more money will help you attract more women as well.

command76 · 2021-09-15T17:41:33+00:00

Get into shape if your not already. Read ‘Models’ by Mark Manson. I recommend reading Leil Lowndes ‘How to Talk to Anyone’. But that’s if you are not a good communicator. Join meetups and social groups or Facebook events. They have free events people can go too socialize and make friends. Be positive and cheerful, even if you have to fake it. People will be drawn to you like a magnet. I hear if you act a certain way eventually it will become who you are. You’ll want to be a positive cheerful socially outgoing and charismatic individual. Those are things most women find attractive. If you can be those things they will notice and you’ll have there attention. They say you have work on yourself to be able to attract women and it’s true. There are great dating books to read if your ready. Another good one is “Dating Sucks You Don’t” by Connell Barrett.

d0pey911 · 2021-09-15T18:06:32+00:00

Your life is a miserable existence per your own words, you will scare off any women that you are able to go on a first date with. Better off just paying a prostitute honestly. You're in no position to be dating right now regardless.

LunacyBin · 2021-09-15T17:24:46+00:00

If I were you, I'd focus on improving myself before jumping head-first into trying to meet women. Regarding money - can you find an apprentice program and learn a trade? Contact your local community college; sometimes there are programs that cover tuition costs to help you complete a degree or certificate program that can help you gain job skills.

Another thing I'd focus on is physical wellness. Get a gym membership (Planet Fitness memberships start at $10/month if there's one in your area), or go to Walmart and buy a couple dumbbells and get started that way. Watch what you eat; you don't need to go on a super strict diet, but making some key changes can make a huge difference (e.g., favoring complex carbs over simple ones, eating a variety of fruits and veggies, etc). I've had some success going on a Paleo-ish diet, but YMMV. If you can get into better shape, I think it'll give you a general confidence boost.

Also, consider seeing a therapist! There's no shame in seeking help for your mental health. If you can't afford one, see if there are any nonprofits in your area that offer some kind of behavioral health services; when I was in college, there was a free mental health clinic run by psychology students (although it may have only been available to students, not the general public, I can't remember).

Anyway, those are three places I think you could start that would help you gain some confidence and get to a better place in your life. Once you make some progress, then maybe you'll feel like you're better able to tackle your dating goals.

MuMuGorgeus · 2021-09-15T16:18:59+00:00

Dude, read cynicism. Diógenes can help you with you life.

rewinder909 · 2021-09-15T15:40:04+00:00

I knew a dating coach on his thirties that was homeless, and he still was smashing a lot. The only thing he had was a gym yearly membership to workout and take a shower and he was good.

gigaspaz · 2021-09-15T15:29:25+00:00

Yea, money doesn't have anything to do with seduction. I've been plenty poor for a long time and when I was single got it very often.

At this point I think you should change focus to yourself. Does just existing like you have bring you joy? If so, have at it. Otherwise get a plan together and change your life.

Mog_Melm · 2021-09-15T16:53:47+00:00

I'm not sure you're asking the right questions. I'm not willing to accept as axiomatic the notion that you are forever doomed to live in poverty and squalor.

Bergatario · 2021-09-15T17:57:33+00:00

Move to Nicaragua. You'll be rich there on 10K a year. A baller.

Woujo · 2021-09-15T18:04:00+00:00

You should start with just having some friends and improving your life. Without friends you cannot really date.

AndThenThereWasOne0 · 2021-09-15T18:16:51+00:00

Yes it is possible man. But you gotta take care of yourself first. Fix your financial situation and grow your wealth. Get a job, everyone's hiring now. If you can, get into the trades, I'm talking plumbing, electricans, HVAC, etc. THEY WILL PAY YOU TO LEARN.

Then fix your health, physically and mentally. Then go on to get a girl. Work on yourself first and fix your problems before you do anything else. Start today

Truffles64 · 2021-09-15T19:01:28+00:00

OP has posted this same post multiple times over the years in different subs.

dragonforcingmywayup · 2021-09-15T20:34:41+00:00

Here’s the brutal honesty:

You’re 40, never been on a date, and you’re living with your parents because you’re not financially independent. I don’t want to say this to be mean, but most women would find this to be off-putting.

The only possible women you can find to date are going to be women who is in similar situation that you are in.

I saw your comments about not being vaccinated. Guess what? You want to get a job? Maybe remove your political thinking aside and bite the bullet.

It seems like you are doing absolutely nothing to improve your situation, and you are coming across stubborn. Maybe if you implemented the ideas people have given you instead of making excuses, you can improve your life.

Make changes. Get a job. Maybe go to school. Learn a trade. Make more money so you can be at least financially independent. If you are not in good physical shape, then gradually workout.

Only you can make the changes. Instead of asking this question in hopes that you get validation from others. It seems like you refuse to listen to ideas or suggestions.

If you keep this up, you’re unfortunately never going to go on a date. You’re not getting any younger at age 40. Sorry, i know my post is coming harsh, but you need to realize reality.

If you need a woman’s touch badly, save some money for a hooker.

brenee1993 · 2021-09-15T22:31:29+00:00

I don't think dating should be your top priority right now, tbh.

cyrilwaboli · 2021-09-15T16:29:53+00:00

Drink ayahuasca 👍🏽

justadudechllin · 2021-09-15T19:01:22+00:00

Why are you even focused on dating? Get your shit together and make proper money you’re acting like a fucking baby.

MisterShogunate · 2021-09-15T18:37:34+00:00

Head injuries that make you unwell? Memory-wuse? Judgement-wise? That are many types of mental issues that can make or break this situation.

BarkBarkThotiana · 2021-09-15T21:06:31+00:00

Don’t make it obvious that you only want their money

strawberryadvil · 2021-09-15T22:20:43+00:00

Don't. You shouldn't be dating. You have more important things to worry about.

muff_marauder · 2021-09-15T16:57:27+00:00

I am almost 40 years old. I have never done anything in life except waste it away.

I wasted my entire youth.

Fun is expensive, and sex is some of the most fun you can have.

Sex is a luxury for straight men unless you were born naturally extremely beautiful. The rest of us normal schmucks have to work hard to become attractive; you must invest in your health, your career, and your personality constantly. The earlier you do that, the better.

Aside from your unfortunate head injury, according to your own admissions, you've totally failed to invest in yourself. As a result, you're getting no results.

Can you have friends? Of course! But it gets harder for everyone as we age to connect platonically with others.

Will you be hooking up with quality women at your leisure? Will you find a quality girlfriend? You will have to turn things around in a big way. Moping around here won't work: read the sidebar and fix yourself.

aviator122 · 2021-09-15T17:33:20+00:00

I'm currently focusing on my inner game not on dating. Im 24 moved back in with my parents to pay off student loans.. When you take control of your finances, physical and mental health the dating just falls naturally into place

Mystery said that every guy needs health, wealth, and love (Mazlo's pyramid of needs) in order for us to attract partners

While your focusing on yourself that doesn't mean you need to stop practicing on your confidence. You can still practice learn seduction on women and not be financially and emotionally invested into dating, rotations, or LTR's.

There's alot of career options for people who don't go to college and trade schools to learn valuable skills. My friend got a plumbing license and makes 70k a year just taking a course at community College

-WolfieMcq · 2021-09-15T19:12:26+00:00

You’re a little value male because you have chosen to be a low value male. You could make changes but I think you want a pat on the back and told you were OK. When you’re not OK. At 40 to be couch surfing? Don’t bring some woman into your life. Women deserve better. Take a couple years and fix yourself. It sounds like you want to go on dates so the woman will pay for you and there are cheap women who will do that but you will get the woman you deserve. At this point in your life do you really want that?

jeg26 · 2021-09-15T19:22:08+00:00

Sounds like your first and most important step is going to be to work on yourself.

EleoraHC · 2021-09-16T02:59:07+00:00

Fix your priorities

brrrrpopop · 2021-09-15T17:00:21+00:00

Buy $GME. You're welcome.

2021-09-15T18:25:30+00:00

First, the bad news and, then, the good news. Yes, you need to have resources and status to get a quality woman. I’m not saying all women are gold-diggers. But, put yourself in their shoes. They want to be feminine and have a masculine man take care of things. You need to improve all areas of your life. Now, the good news! You are nowhere near out of the game. There are guys in their sixties that have rebuilt themselves after being knocked down.
First, but the thoughts of sex and relationships aside for awhile. You need to get into physical, financial, and spiritual shape.
Start with a good diet. Cut out junk food. Make snacks and sodas what they were meant to be: treats! Get physically in shape by starting slow and gradually improving yourself. There are fitness centers that are inexpensive and trainers that are available. Tip: don’t be tempted to flirt with female gym patrons. You might come off as a creep and you’ll be kicked out, STAT! With employers begging for workers, you have a lot of options for good paying work. Even the gas station near my house is starting clerks at $15/hr! Work two jobs. Live off the income of the lower paying job and bank the cash from the higher paying job.
Focus on getting that drivers license! I don’t know if your head injury hampers your ability drive. If not, make this a priority, too. Save up for a reliable car, too. Join a good, Bible-believing church, too. You are a rudderless ship without Christ. Focusing on yourself will attract quality women. You will find one with similar interests and it’ll make conversations easier.
Also, read the book, “No More Mr. Nice Guy”. This will help you personally and professionally. If your goal is to just obtain “nookie”, you’ll fail miserably. Finally, work on being mentally tough. The best people in their respective fields are mentally tough. Best of luck to you!

onenitemareatatime · 2021-09-15T18:48:09+00:00

And this why we need actual equality amongst men and women. None of this would exclude a woman from dating but it is very exclusionary for men.

SensualyAlpha · 2021-09-15T17:34:04+00:00

Just be polite, put in some work and you will find someone.

st3636 · 2021-09-15T17:53:33+00:00

28 yo kv+hv. Trust me, you can get friends. And, if really lucky, even more. It's just that economy's pretty fucked up. I'm living with parents as well, no car (no real sense in having one though, living in a big city, a scooter might make more sense), not making lots of money either though i have a STEM degree but pretty fit (bike deliveryman+some workout taking place @ home), yet i'm making lots of friends by now. Restaurant workers who seem to love my military-like yet laid back attitude, more specifically. Always getting nice discounts from them.

Lots of gorgeous barladies friendzoning me as well, feel the only thing keeping me from, let's put it nicely, getting romantic with them, is that they're all already taken, but many of them act all flirty with me, like they'd be more than willing to, were them single, one even told me that straight away. Sometimes i like to pretend to be their bf and get emotional with them (asking them if they feel alright, complimenting them on their voice, and things like that), and they show real happiness. Happy with that, for the moment. Tindering, Bumbling, speed dating like mad. When it'll happen, it'll surely be unforgettable.

Keep in mind, living with parents and not having a car doesn't necessarily mean you're a man-child. It's a matter of attitude. One thing is deliberately refusing to grow up. Huge turnoff. Another one is having to make do, and be confident and successful at it. Girls wanna feel protected.

2021-09-15T20:04:48+00:00

Hello brother, I am soon to turn 32 and I am much like you.

I am only housed thanks to social services. Back in 2018, I got into "cold approach day game".

I was 28 and 1/4 at the time and whilst I was at work, scrubbing a van, I thought to myself "there has to be more to this life than sitting inside a van, scrubbing the floor"

And then it hit me: somehow, I had made it to the age of 28 and 1/4 having never had anything to do with women in a "man to woman" way, whatsoever.

No hand holding, no kissing and certainly no "man parts to woman parts" intimacy.

I quit my job and got into cold approach day game. Like when you are first riding a bicycle I remember thinking "wow, I am actually doing it!

Unfortunately, after a string of incidents related to day game, my life took a downward turn, but that's a story for another time.

My point is, if you don't have a "real life" then dating is almost nigh on impossible. Without a job you aren't really "in" society, so to speak and it will make you even weirder.

I don't think you can get laid or get a girlfriend without a job and without your own place.

I will likely be in the same situation as you at 40. Just be glad you are probably 1/2 through the suffering!

bonebrithchugger · 2021-09-15T18:56:20+00:00

Either wait until you're in a better position, or be ready for someone with an equal number of Cons (on a potential partner pros and cons evaluation) as you have.

Doesn't sound like you have time to waste.

The following criticism is based on experience, not superiority: Right now, quite frankly, the reason your pride is feeling beaten down is because now is not the time to be feeling proud. Now is the time to be feeling the anxiety. Your body and your brain are telling you to get moving and find the solution. Even if you can't arrive at anything perfect, having gone through all the options and arrived at the best solution available to you well at least ease the feeling of needing to do something. When you're in the following state: 1. Making weekly/monthly progress, real progress, on improving your position. 2. You have arrived at the place where you've for the time being truly done all you can do on all the fronts/areas/problems facing you that you're aware of, and you're ready to tackle next steps/new problems as they come in. 3.truly and honestly assessed your value to a partner, (and they're not screwing around too much at that age I imagine) and have assessed A, current appeal, B, what expectations are currently reasonable, C, future appeal with realistically achievable improvements, D, what expectations will be reasonable at that achievement.

You will be confident that you're doing the most with the cards you've been dealt. You'll know yourself and what you can handle. The long-term progress will give a sense of meaning and importance do day-to-day activities. And the game plan of the best time to actually put yourself in the market in the next year or so preferably will give you time to find places that you're comfortable meeting and approaching women, quality people that you might actually want to spend time with LOL. When the time comes to make approaches or put yourself out there, you'll be in a position to.

Don't take the first thing that comes your way. At your age group, you're probably going to deal with a lot of people who will take any port in a storm, and once you improve enough, should have options.

P00_buttz69 · 2021-09-15T19:14:03+00:00

Focus on you first and foremost.

Everyday is an opportunity to get yourself on the right track.

Control what you can control. If something is out of your control, don't bother worrying about it. Life can be a painful ride, it's even worse when we stress over uncontrollable factors.

My advice is to pick up a hobby (if you already have hobbies, then nice), focus on exercise which will improve your mental and physical health, reading or working on puzzles also can improve mental processing.

Most importantly, it's never to late to build yourself up. Don't dwell on past mistakes, focus on self improvement.

If you work on yourself, things will begin to happen naturally. You will gain confidence and social skills that will help you build connections with women.

Left_Bed_9379 · 2021-09-15T19:30:15+00:00

First of all you need to get rid of that negative mentality stuff. Once I read that “a man without a plan for the day is lost before he starts.” Therefore make daily plans on what needs to be done, plus make it a habit to write quotes that keep you motivated.

I also believe that confidence comes from a mix of discipline and training (discipline is doing what’s right, no matter what your emotional state is). I’d write that down in a piece of paper as many times as possible to keep moving no matter what happens (or no matter what emotional state you are).

Wishing you the best of luck!!

Fluffy_Risk9955 · 2021-09-15T19:45:30+00:00

If you don't get the results out of life that you want, you need to take a good look at the person you see in the mirror. That dude is letting you down my friend.

Go to YouTube and find Richard Cooper with his entrepreneurs in cars channel. You might not like what he says at first, but when he says something it makes sense to apply in your life. This way you can keep unnecessary drama out, get better results and get the girls.

pdxguy1973 · 2021-09-15T20:00:27+00:00

Learn a trade, it's never too late.

Alive-Doughnut2345 · 2021-09-15T20:04:07+00:00

You poor soul :( I hope you turn things around soon. 40 may be kind of old but you still have some time. Best of luck and take care 💜

Imreallytired2301 · 2021-09-15T20:04:12+00:00

There's 2 ways, find another person who is in the same boat as you and help build each other up or grind harder and find ways to get Yourself out of there

CillaKam · 2021-09-15T20:04:41+00:00

Make money.

Crim212 · 2021-09-15T20:06:57+00:00

Since you are living with your parents, you don't have to pay any rent anymore (hopefully). You now have to work on yourself alittle bit. Get a job to earn an incredible me and learn about the stock market. Begin investing (with research of course) and make sure you don't squander any money earned through your job. Keep your spending to food and clothing. Invest in a gym membership and commit. It's never too late to build wealth. Confidence and attention will follow.

Jadncern1928 · 2021-09-15T20:25:50+00:00

There are lots of single women in their 40s and older who have a hard time finding real relationships. From the ones I've talked to, at that point in their life, the main qualification they're looking for is just someone with stability in their life (e.g. has a job or can make a living somehow).

It's almost always the 40+ year old single women that pursue a relationship with me first. There are plenty.

I know a college educated single mother who was happy to date a minimum wage earner in his 50s who lived with his mother. She didn't have much in terms of standards at that point in her life.

So don't think there's no hope. You should first work on yourself and get a new job and get some stability in your life.

Jacob_961 · 2021-09-15T20:53:10+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about your head injury. I hope your sharpness has not declined significantly. In all cases, it’s fine if you want to go on dates but honestly for anything long term, you have to reduce your standards a lot. Even if you make 20k/year it’s still better than making nothing. Do what you can with what you got and hope for the best.

userisauser · 2021-09-15T21:04:01+00:00

I can immediately see that you are in a "focus on the negative" state and are probably in that state quite often. You really have to catch yourself when you think or say negative things.

Cars are dangerous and expensive but cars also grant freedom and an immeasurable number of amazing experiences in your life.

Brilliant people can sometimes use their brilliant minds to create brilliant limitations.

One of my favorite exercises is to take an fear/frustration and turn it into a "how question." For your question, "how can I date a woman" is too broad. You need to break the problem down into smaller pieces. Ask your brain, "how do I say 'hi' to a woman?" Notice how that question does NOT include any negativity? It simply asks how to get what you want.

Thats how you get what you want. You focus on what you want and ignore the negative thoughts.

When it comes to women, money matters much less to them compare to a guy with a good attitude who is striving for success. Your negativity only indicates that you will not succeed.

If you're going to question anything, question your limitations. Question your beliefs.

The fact that you are admitting you need help and are open to suggestions is a MONUMENTAL first step!

Chicagoj1563 · 2021-09-15T21:04:28+00:00

I'm older than you and I would advise you to be determined to get out of where are you at right now and start by getting into the best shape of your life. Diet and exercise can be the foundation of your new life. Focus on that first. Learn to eat healthy. Learn to set goals and get into the best shape of your life. Put everything into this first. And you will realize you can channel everything you learn from this into other areas of your life.

You are not too old, I promise. Just don't fall into the victim mentality even if you have been one. Take responsibility for changing things. Have a glass half full attitude about everything. Right now you are half empty on just about everything. Go after the things you want and use music to help motivate and inspire you.

RynerKujo35 · 2021-09-15T21:07:06+00:00

Are there not women trapped in poverty? You could try finding people in the same situation as you. I do t know where you would start. But, there’s certainly 40yr old women living with their parents these days.

Try flirting with a woman. Just next place you go to in public. Just flirt with a girl. Your gonna fail, get rejected, probably get some odd looks. But go do it again. Never flirted with a woman. You can start solving that problem today. Just don’t be like hey babe, nice tits or any of that Johnny Bravo stuff.

aromaticgem · 2021-09-15T21:11:39+00:00

Look up the Maslow Hirearchy of Needs. Start from your basic needs and work your way up. A therapist may be able to help you identify your strengths (we all have our own strengths, sometimes we need help identifying them) and they may also help point you to some financial aid and continuing education resources and support groups in your community. With that said, interpersonal relationships is ranked number three out of five on the Maslow Hirearchy of Needs chart. So begin with your basic needs (food, water, shelter, sleep) and your safety (security, body, employment, health)

olethrosX17 · 2021-09-15T21:28:37+00:00

You’re 40. You’re still relatively young. You just need to put in the work. Find a job. Try a grocery store like Publix or something similar.

Get a car and learn to drive. Don’t be scared. Have faith in yourself, impress yourself. I’m 25 going to be 26 and only now have taken steps to getting my license through a drivers Ed school.

Focus on your mental well being friend. That is the most important. Choose yourself first.

Soberskate9696 · 2021-09-15T21:31:57+00:00

https://youtu.be/bmav517MQJc

tnpersona · 2021-09-15T21:51:30+00:00

Bro, your first priority should be putting your life together. Start by working on your mindset. Sounds like you might be depressed or at least just completely unconfident. It might take some work but I know you can do it. I’m sending good vibes out 😁😁

imotski88 · 2021-09-15T22:02:59+00:00

I don't understand why people make it so difficult. It's pretty easy: no money = you need game. more money you have - less game is required. Having a good game without confidence from money is not easy to achieve but possible.

You can look after the pua coach named Tom Torrero. He is in his late 40s early 50s i think. He travels the world cheap and bangs chicks. I don't think he is rich. Every pua coach claims that they were a nerd before pua. But trust me Tom Torrero really was an hard case and he started pretty late.

Own-Illustrator-3793 · 2021-09-15T22:27:18+00:00

Haha it takes around two years of consistent practice to master game. Try to improve your fashion to look younger. You're gonna crush it dude, trust me.

Lmk if you want more specific help 💕

FleaTheNormie · 2021-09-15T22:42:25+00:00

Samuel L Jackson didn't really start acting until he was 40

u/poverty_with_love didn't really start ____ until he was 40

ProdigalSon231 · 2021-09-15T23:03:33+00:00

Just don’t. Focus on bettering yourself and working 24/7 and if you don’t make a lot, get a second job. Only get a woman when u can afford one and maybe not even then. Good luck.

MOTAMOUTH · 2021-09-16T01:11:59+00:00

Go to Tijuana and buy $50 hookers is your only shot at this point.

etherealromance · 2021-09-16T13:51:55+00:00

I live in a school bus, I don’t even have a job. I’m broke And I date hot girls with way more money than me week after week after week. And they pay for me. Ps.im not bad looking, but by no means good looking in the eyes of society

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	179
Comments	197
Date	September 15, 2021 1:51 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/poqj72/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1276067 https://theredarchive.com/post/1276067

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