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SmartHipster · 2021-07-10T12:14:52+00:00

OP wants a girlfriend who is upfront and clear about her attractions

Op should not waste his time dating anyone who doesn’t at the bare minimum meet those expectations. She can’t carry a convo? Next. She’s disinterested in planning a date? Next.

Don’t date people who don’t at the very least have the personality characteristics you KNOW you need. You cannot force someone who is sleepwalking thru life without opinions to suddenly care about anything.

iSaucyxJugg · 2021-07-10T08:05:34+00:00

“Typically the girls I talk to are out of my league” That’s your issue right there, seems you’re lacking confidence and some self respect. Maybe that’s why you’re single, you should work on yourself man take it easy.

PompousSchmuck · 2021-07-10T10:37:21+00:00

If she has shittons of attention, then youll be getting bits of it. Simple as that.

iAM_A_NiceGuy · 2021-07-10T10:49:23+00:00

You don’t tell a person about your day voluntarily, that’s boring and screams relationship. Girls will never tell you they are not interested, they are very kind that way. They assume you will get the hint and back off, they don’t want to be rude or hurt you so back off when chat gets drier.

rngrb3 · 2021-07-10T10:35:34+00:00

Maybe you're boring her as the others said. Or you said something she didn't like which you could easily explain to her. Or she is dating more than one at the same time and it gets closer with the other one. Or she's just as insecure as you. Or she's still heartbroken. Or just an asshole.

You'll never know if you don't ask. Many girls I know aren't up front so they likely won't tell you why they seem to get uninterested. If you can cope with an answer you might have not expected or don't like, ask her why she seems to lose interest.

Good luck :) ♡

Tyler_Durden_Says · 2021-07-10T12:51:44+00:00

It’s because they probably are uninterested in you bro

blackjackwhackjack · 2021-07-10T12:05:38+00:00

Take time to know yourself and define your personal values as a man. That way you easily know what you want in a woman. That way you can find yourself rejecting women who dont meet your values instead of you feeling like you should keep them interested. Get into your own zone and do what you like and define your life in such a way that you only strike up chemistry with people (not just women) who match your core values and interests. That's the way to catch the right woman who will remain interested in the long term.

Fearless-Physics · 2021-07-10T10:38:28+00:00

It honestly sounds like you're really boring them. That's just how your post comes across, unnatural in some way, I don't know how else to describe it.

ghost-447 · 2021-07-10T07:30:45+00:00

You may be boring her.

ant2k15 · 2021-07-10T11:44:33+00:00

Honestly you need to learn how to keep your frame and not fall into quickly. So many guys give bad dates because they come off to clingy or desperate. I get your dating girls out of your league as you say. But that’s never a reason to start gawking at them. You have to give them space to like you. Time to understand you. And be patient. If the vibe is not organic or feels forced they won’t come back for more. Also I dont know if you’re over texting but try not to give too much over the phone. Try to be direct and ask them out. Save your conversation for in person. And in person let her talk. If she is not talking and its pulling teeth. Know that you can leave. You don’t deserve to hang out with people who are not enthusiastic to hang out with you. Work on building a rotation and staying detached. Not every girl is your soulmate.

Kodamik · 2021-07-10T12:58:30+00:00

girls: this is what guys want. a girl that’s up front, a girl that tells us what you want, a girl that shows us that she wants us. it sounds difficult. it’s not. just show some interest in us too please, we could really use it. a dude will probably marry you on the spot for it.

That's how the girls you don't want behave usually, and the girl that wants you and thinks she is good enough for you will try her dearest not to be associated with the former.

And no, i don't want girls who tell me they want me to be their sugar daddy finslave any better either.

Workamaholic · 2021-07-10T17:46:38+00:00

I'd agree with a few of the other posts here. But also too, check in with yourself regarding your beliefs about women. Being well liked and having women in abundance, is addictive, it's validating, but it's almost like getting energy from a non-renewable source. Over time. You'll just feel off. It happened to me, I was dating every night, having sex with beautiful women, and was like "I don't think this is it."

It was fun to be attractive but I just felt off. Like I was giving all my energy away, and it wasn't feeling really equitable.

My own problem was purpose. I had put the purpose of seducing women above my own pursuit of purpose and meaning in my life. And as much as I learned to do certain things or be a certain way to attract women, it felt kind of like an act. And I always felt. Short-changed.

One day it dawned on me that all of these behaviors I was trying to emulate, there are people who do them naturally because those people are on a mission, and they are directed towards a purpose, something larger than themselves, the behaviors they have are all a subset of that.

So I spent a bit more time alone to try and find that thing for myself. It's hard work. I'll tell you now, but it's worth it. When you start to become aligned with your true center, you will face resistance, but push through it, the other side is sweet. I'm maybe a little under halfway there but I already feel better overall about how I'm spending my time and energy.

Remember that as much as we try to do differently, It's more often that we attract based on who we are, not what we want. Get in touch with that person, and make sure you can look in the mirror and respect what you see. Everything else will fall into place, doesn't mean it will be zero effort, it will be max effort, but it's renewable energy. It will make you feel better. I hope that makes sense.

Good luck my man, we're all on a journey, Excited for you to be on yours.

PurpleLightningart · 2021-07-10T12:52:42+00:00

You’re not “boring” her, most women sit home bored all day, with very little hobbies. You probably just haven’t found the right woman. The girl I’m currently seeing never does any of that bs you’re talking about, but I had to go through a lot of trash women to find her. I had to to be ghosted, led on, ignored, etc. ultimately women are just humans, nothing more or less

RD_Cokaman · 2021-07-10T12:35:43+00:00

Focus on yourself. Not someone else. When you’re have it your way, one’s who are attracted come.

godblessed98 · 2021-07-10T12:19:12+00:00

Tons of people keep saying here "you are boring her" God most women are boring themselves ffs. Also go ahead my "not boring" dudes and share some tips with the "boring" dudes. I have this problem too op ,but when I see this happening extensively and continues after 3-4 weeks I go ahead and have this "breakdown" where I roast her and I say the exact same closing line "how can you expect someone to care for you and give you attention if you don't give any of it back? and if you don't feel like it with me cause you dont like me or whatever why bother wasting my and your time ?". Not proud of those breakdown though , i see that they are kinda pathetic but seriously I feel like most women use us the "boring" ones to fulfill their egos. Also the "not boring" ones they bore me to death but what do I know...the only thing I accept is physical prowess but I guess I am full of complexes.

Ciao_grazie · 2021-07-10T11:55:47+00:00

Agree with other posts about the boring convo. If someone asks me about my day/weekend right away, I’ve started to tell them I’m not interested so I don’t waste any more time. I always start a convo by finding something funny to say either about my own profile or theirs. So even if you can’t think of anything funny about theirs you could have a joke ready about yours. And then just keep sending funny things back with every exchange. If you’re not used to being funny, you could watch a lot of stand up to start to get the rhythm.

You may also want to work on finding more exciting things to do that are unrelated to dating, which would therefore make you more interesting to date. It could be hiking or some other sport (e.g. rock climbing, sailing) or getting involved with your community as a volunteer for different projects. That would be intriguing to me and should be fun for you.

comfortfood4soul · 2021-07-10T15:20:36+00:00

I think you only need to make a slight change in your behavior. Instead telling her about your day ask her about her day but in an open ended way. Asj something like this “ what was the funniest thing that happened today?“ Or “what was the dumbest thing that happened today?“ In both cases you respond “really? I can’t believe that“ and ask for more details. After asking a few questions she’ll eventually want to start asking you questions about your day and if she doesn’t ….. she’s not into you. Her loss. Move on.

2021-07-10T16:04:12+00:00

I think it comes down to your looks , if you cant get them attracted , ask your self , would you be attracted to you if you were another person?

Affectionate-Wind561 · 2021-07-10T10:58:09+00:00

There’s a lot going on here! I’d like to say you probably haven’t found the right girl yet. If they lose interest then the chemistry might not be right. When I like a guy, I try my damndest to make sure he knows it and to make him feel wanted. I don’t want there to be any confusion about what I want. This isn’t high school, anyone worth their salt doesn’t bother playing games like “I’d better wait to respond so I don’t seem so eager.” You’re damn right I’m eager! My favorite person is texting. That’s how it should be on both sides, and if it isn’t I wouldn’t say it’s anything you’re doing wrong but it’s just not the right person.

tryingmybestatm · 2021-07-10T11:24:35+00:00

are you fucking them?, am no expert but the wisdom i have gained from ppl who get laid all the time is that u should make a move soon. girls like sex as much as guys so get a little dominant and give her a good fuck(make sure she wants that too! [subtle cues, body language] ). Even if you're average looking it will make it look like you know what you want. also talk to diff girls, don't just talk to one. suppose u fuck one girl out of say 5 girls that you are seeing, the confidence you gain from it will make you look more attractive to the rest 4. and lastly stop caring so much about pussy; if u have never had it or just like once, get a hooker or 2 and lose the infatuation/ fascination whatever.

Historical-Gazelle-8 · 2021-07-10T10:47:37+00:00

maybe it’s the opposite of what you’re doing, i saw that you mask your insecurities in some of your replies. obviously it’s odd to give your whole life story during the first date but opening up later on is what most girls (that i know) would prefer, plus humans bond through vulnerability. maybe the girls can sense that you’re hiding something and become hesitant even though you’re hiding your insecurities and not 6 bodies in the basement.

basically try show the side of you that you usually hide when you’ve gotten to know her

Teamtoast · 2021-07-10T11:14:31+00:00

How do you meet girls? What do you talk about with girls? Do you have hobbies / interests etc ?

isthisalreadyused · 2021-07-10T15:48:08+00:00

just show some interest in us too please, we could really use it. a dude will probably marry you on the spot for it.

And this here is exactly why they don’t

Stormbreaker_98 · 2021-07-10T11:32:11+00:00

Hey buddy. I don't agree with lot of opinions given here. I think they are trying to find some random points with the little information they have from your post. It feels a lot shallow(not a properly analysed one) while I think you have some deeper blocks in attaining the success. I felt like most of them are throwing out the same ruminated content from the "textbook of dating."

I don't want to repeat the same. I would recommend you meet a "therapist" Or what I know as "relationship/dating coach". Please go with someone who has credentials of the person and also maybe look for some past people who have experience with him/her. Don't go for a PUA or such kind of dating coach more of a therapist who is also working core in relationship problems.

It's my strong opinion that they can help you guide through your issues. I mean you will discuss every step with them so they will be able to make more honest review of your blocks.

lemilemo · 2021-07-10T14:27:49+00:00

just gotta get a connection.

idk u seem a bit desperate to find "the one" and at least in my experience i get turned off and a bit uncomfortable after hearing how they like a girl like me etc after only talking for a short time since just why, you dont know me well enough to say something like that and mean it yet

my opinion: what i like is when guys dont bullshit, tell me their opinions and what they feel. try not to be too amicable, that feels fake and more like you trying to get them to like you for something youre not. if you feel depressed some days you can give short one word answers, if a girl cares about you that wont scare her away. and if you get attached then just why - you dont know this person enough to have deeper connection yet

just treat her like your best friend and she will feel comfortable, and eventually that might lead to something more, but have friendship as your first goal - guys that are fast to skip past that part makes the relationship feel shallow and more like both people are trying to fill a void rather than building a meaningful relationship. and you will know for sure if you want a relationship with this person or not before you dive into it

2021-07-10T13:24:40+00:00

Think: what makes you valuable as a man? Are you fun? Are you interesting? Do you take your time to text back? Why should they like you besides the way you look (which isn't enough despite what people on here will say)

rngrb3 · 2021-07-10T15:00:56+00:00

If your communication to these women gives the same vibe of subtle condescension that this post does I can tell you what’s going wrong…

First, let’s be honest about the conversation fade. Men and women both do this. If you’re not keeping their attention, you’re simply not interesting to them. Maybe you need to work on your conversation, or maybe most of these people just aren’t a good match for you. No one is trying to waste your time because that’s also a waste of their time.

There’s no elaborate plan to make you spend you life alone. Women do get a lot more matches than men on dating/social apps and of course have to figure out how to filter out more of them faster because it’s overwhelming. No one knows if their strategy is really a good way to filter but they’re doing the best they can to find a good partner and not get murdered. It’s not fun, but it’s a fact.

If the apps aren’t working for you try going to a few places or groups regularly and getting to know those people in a more organic, naturally progressing way. You won’t have to deal with all the pointless, awkward conversations and you’ll have a much better idea if you’re really a good match.

medievalbitch · 2021-07-10T16:57:46+00:00

Idk. Maybe they're just not interested in you but also not totally writing you off. I am actually up front with what I want but it also scares men away. Haha. I think it's matured to want things to be clear. You can also just ask them directly about it if you haven't. I think it's normal to talk about these things when dating. Just keep in mind the time frame. I'm also quite fast to determine whether I like someone or not. I can tell on the first conversation if there is a possibility I'd like a guy. And because i know what I'm looking for, I don't have a problem saying it and committing. Then there's also men who are eager to commit quickly but I needed more time to get to know them. I think it's also reckless when you haven't experienced disagreeing or handling conflict and getting in a relationship right away. I needed to feel loved and heard before i commit even though i like the guy a lot. And i did let go of men whom i really really like in the past, they only want to make an effort if i commit and i don't feel comfortable with that.

NastyMonkeyKing · 2021-07-10T21:35:37+00:00

They dont. You're biased and using a small sample size and will probably struggle as long as you hold onto the notion all girls do anything. If you're consistently running into the same problem with multiple people its you.

Blaphrodite · 2021-07-10T21:36:53+00:00

Pace yourself; It’s harder said than done.

That said, you can’t build chemistry via endless texting. Gotta make phone calls, ask for dates. That’s how you build attraction. It’s kind of naive and shallow to expect that a girl will get attracted to you randomly and start chasing you, leading you to be attracted to her.

That’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this works

TanPineapple1073 · 2021-07-11T01:38:41+00:00

I just went through that myself a few days ago. Things were going good at first then nothing. She says she doesn't feel the connection anymore. It only took her about a month to admit that. You lost interest or seeing someone else so be it. Just be upfront about it, don't drag me around. I'll have a lot more respect for you if you're honest

SamuraiRetainer · 2021-07-11T04:45:43+00:00

Lizzie Velasquez says hello

M133A · 2021-07-10T11:11:55+00:00

The nature of a man is to qualify to her. however, the nature of a woman Is to disqualify him. I learn this after many many pickups.

Ikem32 · 2021-07-10T15:41:00+00:00

I want to know where it is going.

It‘s your part to have a plan.

silkPJson · 2021-07-10T10:11:35+00:00

Like another poster said, you’re probably boring to her. Never be boring, women aren’t attracted to boring.

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2021-07-10T12:24:51+00:00

Alright, Brother, you are at square one and a long way away from needing advice from this subreddit. This page is mostly for dudes somewhere near the end of mastery that need a few "touchup" pointers. (Read: intermediate seduction level). Taking advice from here at your stage/evolution is like handing an ak-47 to a kid. No offense, it's just not advice that will be actionable based on your current status. Here's what i suggest you do: go purchase Neil Strauss's The Game. Reading that book will open up your eyes. Next, take notes on everything you read in that book and internet search people/topics to get a better perspective. This isn't an overnight fix. This should take roughly 5-10 years to get good at because you need to be putting in a LOT of work to fix yourself, not that you're broken, but fixing your misconceptions of women, dating, relationships, female psychology, mating strategies, flirting strategies. You also need to define your own personal morals and adjust them to all this newfound information; something that guys have a hard time coming to terms with once the truth has been revealed to them. In short, you better be damn sure this is what you want because you are about to embark on a life changing course of skill building. This isn't something you can half-ass your way through and make it work. There will be agony & ecstacy and you must power through both on the journey to bettering yourself. Reach out to me if you get stuck on your path.

Euphoric-Oven-5405 · 2021-07-10T16:18:19+00:00

Maybe try stopping the use of emojis

sinzigwagas · 2021-07-10T10:56:24+00:00

Try gearing the conversation around them, maybe ask her aboiut her day 1st and then try to move on from there, even though the replies might be dry.

Disastrous_Adagio_76 · 2021-07-10T16:08:55+00:00

If the person is interested they will text you random things throughout the day. Anything you do, do not shower them with gifts, the feelings need to be mutual for any friendship or relationship to work. It’s not always one sided, if you feel there’s no chemistry then instead of ghosting them friend zone them.

Optimal-Builder-2209 · 2021-07-10T23:50:14+00:00

TALK TO GIRLS ONLY WHEN THEY ARE OVULATING

2021-07-10T13:28:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2021-07-10T15:57:08+00:00

they think you're gay... go for high risk high reward until you get your reward

2021-07-11T01:42:06+00:00

I'm a girl and when I used to be upfront/romantic with guys, they usually took that for granted after a while

harrysapien · 2021-07-11T04:12:39+00:00

I think online dating is a superior form of dating. I would create a very interesting and well thought out profile and make it smart, fun, flirty, and unique.

Then I would spend around 10 to 20 hours looking at female profiles and crafting around 25 witty custom replies to their posts.

Out of those 25 replies i'd usually get 15 responses, out of those 15 responses, 6 or 7 would be very good replies that showed they put real time and effort into it. Out of those 6 or 7 good replies 3 or 4 would progess to the point where we are talking on the phone and going on first dates.

I know, it sounds like a lot of work and it is, but man, the results are way worth it.

likelyilllike · 2021-07-10T10:38:08+00:00

Try to tell story, you are journalist, you will probably figure out that quicker than others. Try to associate with the person you are talking that way you quicker connect with the person, even she is disinterested in you,you can use it to your advantage, like responding 'yeah, from so much attention you get through the day, if i were you, guess i would respond with less than that' or whatever.

astern14 · 2021-07-10T16:56:43+00:00

Loser!

kungfumilktea · 2021-07-10T14:57:24+00:00

I’ll speak from my experience. I used to be in your position and the guy I talked to didn’t respond much and I was texting him constantly even though I knew he wouldn’t care. After that experience I’m not going to make much of an effort until I see potential in the form of consistent communication. Many people have been hurt before and I’m not saying that excuses their actions but they might just have their guard up. I personally don’t do too much because I don’t want to waste that much time ever again. After some thing like that I feel emotionally drained so I’m assuming they may experience that otherwise I’m not sure why they do that.

SerenitySpectrum · 2021-07-10T15:56:34+00:00

As a girl, since high school I’ve always made the first move and told guys I liked them/ asked out my ex bf. Now I’m in uni, the dating pool has changed and so has the dating advice. Most dating advice catered for women always emphasise that ‘if a man wants you, he’ll pursue you’.

Also most of the women I know love a confident and fearless man. I think it will help getting into the mindset of being friends first would help if you’re scared of being rejected. It builds trust easier and you are being your authentic self that way.

2021-07-10T15:58:45+00:00

Same here

2021-07-10T15:58:57+00:00

This distortion is just freaking Awesome!!!

shrubed · 2021-07-10T17:10:41+00:00

Find a hobby or passion you can work towards in your life. The reason you’re getting attached so quickly and turning girls off is because you’ve got nothing going on at the moment. Good luck friend :)

Eastuss · 2021-07-10T17:16:43+00:00

the most attractive thing for a girl is her attraction to me to be honest😂

I'm not even reading your post this is enough.

Women are exactly like that. So if you're like a woman, you're in a dead lock.

Men are supposed to be attracted by women's existence and women be attracted by men pursuing them.

VeeVee999 · 2021-07-10T18:02:34+00:00

As a female, I look for chemistry. When a guy forces it, especially via text, it feels awkward and I stop responding.

The most valuable thing I have is not money, but time. Can't get it back talking to people who aren't right for me.

In your case, maybe try to reverse things. Friendzone them first to find common interests. Then if they seem worth it, pursue them. Stop pursuing every girl that talks to you, makes you sound desperate. Even if you "hide it".. we can tell based on the conversation.

ShySelfEsteemGirl · 2021-07-10T18:02:51+00:00

I know how you feel. We do all these things to show we care, but in the end, it still seems like it's not good enough. But I feel like that's the hollowness of others. They make these excuses of being hurt in the past, that they cannot trust or accept.

I just had to end a relationship. Because in the end, I felt like I was not good enough. Women can be difficult, but he used that as an excuse to hurt me. And I feel that feeling of being alone forever.

It's hard because people just don't think the way we do. They can't understand the way we can. So we try to work around it and find ways to get through or make a connection and it fails.

That's not because you aren't worthy, me, or them.

Unfortunately, people have a weird way of being people sometimes.

2021-07-10T18:07:09+00:00

She's acting uninterested most likely because she is no offense. She can have friends she thinks are handsome but no interest romantically. Girls usually won't make the first move. Sure when they are 30 or so with some experience they might initiate things but probably not some 20-25yo thing. And even then some "hot guy" they might just want a one night fling with but not anything serious. You have to bring more to the table than that.

PECOSbravo · 2021-07-10T18:10:01+00:00

Why are you crying laughing?

It's not funny. It's typical for men to long for women's attention.

Read the signs. Trust me if she wanted to be around you or talk she would.

HellsCandy · 2021-07-10T18:22:09+00:00

I have trouble with showing my feelings or even revealing attraction idk if it’s from trauma or what but I can be screaming inside that I fucking love you but theres a wall that just prevents me from even looking in the guys I likes general direction. I can’t stand to be touched, told I love you, or even looked at in that way bc I guess I’m just so locked down that idk any other way. I don’t mean to be like that it’s just idk a habit- idk if it’s the same thing for other people or not but that’s my reason why. It’s not like its on purpose tho…

f_ckupsomecommas · 2021-07-10T18:46:19+00:00

I feel your pain man. It seems like very few are interested in me as well, even though I think I'm halfway decent looking at the very least. Just keep in mind how many women are in the world, there'll be plenty who like you I'm sure, hot ones too.

oscarony · 2021-07-10T19:07:08+00:00

Go read Corey Wayne’s book

940387 · 2021-07-10T19:16:40+00:00

Because they are by default lol

BadHairDayToday · 2021-07-10T19:21:21+00:00

I completely feel you. I'm actually quite good with girls through learned behavior, good at getting them in bed that is, I'm still single at 34 and that is definitely not by choice. But I agree that all these silly games are very annoying and it would be a wonderful world if that wasn't necessary.

I think it comes from the entirely different game that women play. They have everyone sexually attracted to them even if they don't particularly like them as a person, and some are willing to lie to seem cooler than they are; so they need some way to see past the lies and the façade. It's hard on them too I'm sure.

Ancient_Educator_76 · 2021-07-10T19:42:47+00:00

Cupid always shoots you in the back so stop looking so hard. The second you stop making it a thing…same reason why married guys get hit on a lot..the good ones aren’t sending out I want it vibes so they get approached a lot. Maybe?

Ilovethaiicedtea · 2021-07-10T19:47:46+00:00

You need to juggle 2 plates at once.

gangweedsavedme · 2021-07-10T20:29:32+00:00

Maybe you just need more social experience and reconnaissance, also I’ve never tried to generate attraction through text, but when a woman acts uninterested in person, it’s usually she thinks she’s acting cool, she’s testing you, or she’s actually not interested. I’d say be social until they don’t reciprocate, and then just leave them alone. It’s better if they follow you on social media, where they can see from your stories that you’re always having fun or going out with other people.

spacenuts09 · 2021-07-10T20:33:26+00:00

I'll give you some encouragement & advice as you request. Take it as an epiphany for your brief journey :

Judging from your description, it sounds like you're a newbie to seduction. Don't be discouraged with rejections - you tried your best. You showed up y'know what I'm saying. You kept your end of the bargain. The rest is up to the other participant (the girl in this case). So be proud of it and feel good about yourself. I am always impressed seeing men take action inspite of getting rejected cause guess what that takes balls.
Erase from your mind any expectation of women being direct and logical as men are with romantic & sexual dynamics. They're programmed to act in a socially savy, covert kinda of way. That's why we have this subreddit - to accept & understand these nuanced sub communications. You can refuse to accept it if you like. Go ahead, argue against evolution if you like. But thats how it is. There is solid research on evolutionary biology behind it (read the book Red Queen by Matt Ridley)
With the above points being said, if you are young and have time I would recommend you to spend some time learning to approach. Tweak it a little and try again. Find out what works from guys who are good and do things you haven't done, while interacting & grafting (as some might say). You will slowly get a hang of these subtle signals and body language from women. It's not something you ll learn overnight, because there are no fixed boilerplate answers but there are archetypes for sure. And above all don't stress - take it as a sport. Which goes hand in hand with what some other people pointed out here - Get some shit going outside of romance and sex, that gives you a reason to get out of bed every morning and keeps you excited. Don't keep getting women as the center focus of your life.

Thest0rm_99 · 2021-07-10T22:14:32+00:00

I think your problem is that you have these expectations of women that are going to be shattered because you arent playing the game properly. Once you get a girl initially interested, every interaction you have with her needs to be some form of escalation right until you get her into your bed.

First of all, women are usually not very up front with their intentions or feelings. They are used to covert languages, sub communication and whatnot. They communicate through their words, but usually its their actions that display their true thoughts. A woman could be saying one thing and directly contradicting it with her actions, and she probably wouldnt even know it. Its up to us men to figure out what exactly they are thinking and what their intentions are based not on what they say but on their behavior. I know you say you want a girl who is different from that, but in my experience women who are tend to be more masculine in behavior, combative temperaments and uncooperative. Im not necessarily sure you want a woman like that, and if you do you have work cut out for you because deep down the most attractive thing to any woman is a masculine man who can essentially dominate her and make her want to be dominated even if her overt language states otherwise. SO if she is direct, upfront and assertive (like a man), you have to be that much manlier just to get your foot in the door, and if you do land her, good luck competing constantly throughout the duration of the relationship for who gets to "wear the pants". Youre best bet is to learn the language of women so that this no longer becomes a point of frustration. There are alot of books that are backed and grounded by science and research that can help you understand both the behavior patterns and tendencies of men and women.

Second, you seem to think that there is this magical "one" girl out there who is going to take you further in life by sharing hers with yours. This is genuinely faulty thinking, its not your fault, its Disneys fault and the "disneyfication" of intersexual relationships, and modern feminism`s attempts to re orient the sexual dynamics of humans. Let go of this idea that there is one woman out there for you. there are literally millions of women you potentially have access to in your life. You can date for a while, get good at it, and learn to gain skill at communicating with women far before you ever have to "settle down", and by then youll be so competent and confident with women that you will be able to score a much better option later on when youre older and have more SMV. Not only that, but your desire to lock down one woman for a long haul immediately is generated from a mindset of scarcity. In other words, you want to be in a stable relationship so that you dont need to keep looking for other options and possibly risk rejection. you lack abundance in your life and it shows through your behavior towards women. Believe it or not, women can pick up on a man who has few or no dating options, usually by the way you text, communicate and carry yourself, and it always turns them off. Furthermore, putting these expectations on someone you just started seeing or talking to (someone who, herself, probably has more dating options than you and knows it) will only pressure and smother the woman, thus turning her away from you, and probably towards one of the more sexually successful men in her orbit.

The last edit you made to this post is a tell all. You think when you are texting a girl that she needs to open and respond immediately or shes not interested. What if she just doesnt like you? What if shes just busy atm? What if she literally wants to ignore her phone?

You need to understand that if a women truly desires you, she will open your snaps immediately, she will text back in a timely fashion, and she will make herself consistently available for hangouts or dates. If those things aint happenin, she prolly aint interested. She doesnt need to be texting you constantly, but if your gut tells you shes losing interest, go with it, because she probably is. If she texts you half hearedly, youve already been rejected and shes only keeping you around to add to her potential pool of options and further provide her with validation.

So that being said, start trying to approach dating and meeting women with a completely different mindset. Approach as often as comfortably possible, put yourself out of your comfort zone, and embrace frequent rejection. Most guys who are obsessed with the LTR close are doing so to avoid further rejection they will need to face by dating and trying to fuck other women. Get good at it and youll be spinning plates, rotating women, and taking your pick of the litter for the LTR you are now prepared for. Not only that, but by dating many women over time youll actually figure out what you do and dont like in a woman, and your choices will be much the wiser.

Sorry for the novel, best of luck to you sire

Rockfella27 · 2021-07-11T03:48:32+00:00

I'm on the same boat and single 😂

Actual-Adeptness-328 · 2021-07-11T05:52:54+00:00

If she doesn't seem interested it's because....

She's not interested

in you, specifically.

tuchad1997 · 2021-07-11T06:39:22+00:00

Feel like you are in the same situation as me, sometimes i think i will never have a girlfriend. Maybe we should work more about indirect game, become a better person, make money and workout then girls will follow. I think its a lot easier than try to seduce a girl in direct way.

Yisusbe · 2021-07-11T12:15:00+00:00

Lol it's crazy because I received a notification on my phone suggesting me two post from this subreddit. One was yours and the other one literally says: "anyone else lose interest in a woman when she shows lots of interest in you?"

How crazy is that?

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	584
Comments	162
Date	July 10, 2021 7:15 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ohe2yy/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1280734 https://theredarchive.com/post/1280734

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