REMINDER: It is natural to want and to have sex. [recovered]

throwawayjp2025 · 2020-08-10T16:50:13+00:00

I love this reminder.

Because of all the flack men get nowadays for looking at women I feel guilty sometimes for finding people attractive. Like I’m doing something wrong if I suddenly want to have sex with a sexy woman. And this is even without me approaching her or staring.

recyclablebanthas · 2020-08-11T00:16:14+00:00

Like really, there is absolutely no reason for anyone to feel ashamed for feeling sexually attracted to a woman/man and to want or have sex with them.

True!

A lot of guys have issues with confidence that often relate to this sort of anxiety or shame.

And the flip side of this coin is that calibration/active listening is key in the pursuit of one's sexual desire. Seduction is a social interaction that requires awareness of the other person in the interaction.

Because as common as it is for guys to lack confidence, a lot of guys go too far the other way and are basically bull rushing girls without regard to social cues and signals being sent by the women involved.

Both confidence and calibration are required.

squeezycakes19 · 2020-08-10T17:57:22+00:00

too late: i've internalised the belief that my sexuality is a nuisance, that it's not wanted, and that it's something that is best killed

PensiveOlive · 2020-08-10T16:54:58+00:00

As a woman I wholeheartedly agree but the assholes who are so horny that they forget that women are actual human beings kind of give the rest of you guys a bad rap.

chhurry · 2020-08-10T16:54:56+00:00

Never feel bad, my dudes. Embrace your masculine sexual energy. Just channel it in the proper way you'll be fine.

mivipa · 2020-08-10T17:46:41+00:00

I see you were not raised Catholic

modern_smoke_signals · 2020-08-10T19:02:23+00:00

Sex is like breathing and sleeping. You never realize how much you need until you’re not getting enough.

Ploikblah · 2020-08-10T17:48:37+00:00

Thank for this! As a 23 year old virgin, I get tried of people advising me to try get a girlfriend, as if that's even easy. I'm not ready for a relationship, just want to have some sex, and there's nothing wrong with that!

bornno1 · 2020-08-10T22:29:50+00:00

35f. As a single woman with a high sex drive, I will absolutely and openly say that I really miss having sex. I’ve been single for years and never enjoyed casual sex because it left me feeling empty and used. I’ve always had long term monogamous relationships and really loved the feeling of sharing myself with someone who cared about me and wanted to spend time with me. After my last relationship ended, I tried to get back out there in the world with dating apps, boy was that a shit show lol. There’s so many creeps and weirdos online. Even though I’m deeply lonely and would love companionship, I’m selective about who I spend my time and energy with. I got lots of messages online and flirtatious invites for dates but it was mostly guys just looking for a 1 nighter and that’s not my style. I crave affection, closeness and intimacy. I miss being touched, kissed and held. I love the feeling of being with a man who isn’t in a hurry. A man who wants to take his time and just enjoy my company. I haven’t been in contact with anyone for about a year. It’s the longest I’ve ever gone without sex in my adult life. No dates, no kisses, no hugs, not even a handshake lol. I live in Massachusetts and the news has reported an increase in new coronavirus cases and more deaths from the virus reported every day. The big message these days is stay home and stay safe. I live alone. The only time I leave my place is for work and grocery shopping. This is obviously the worst time in history for trying to meet new people. The more people you expose yourself to, the greater the risk of contracting the virus. I take comfort in knowing I’m not exposing myself to random strangers and with living alone, I can quarantine in peace. But I do get lonely. I miss being close to someone and feeling desired. I miss having someone to dress up for, someone to laugh with and talk to. Someone to slow dance with me in the kitchen, someone to cook for, have drinks, watch movies, snuggle on the couch, roll around in bed together, shower together, lay down and go to sleep together, wake up in the morning and have coffee, talk about what we want to do that day. I’m most comfortable having sex in a caring, committed relationship with someone I can trust, someone I can share all of myself with.

i_never_get_mad · 2020-08-10T18:45:12+00:00

Also remember that the opposite is also acceptable. Not wanting or being interested in sex is perfectly acceptable. Don’t argue or push someone into having sex just because it’s “natural”

AmiablePenguin · 2020-08-10T16:58:16+00:00

I really think the MeToo movement was a reason as to why men being sexual is now a passive problem.

Whilst I'm intrigued by the structure of power and privilege being a component in taking advantage of individuals, and relieved that demonic systems of aggression can be destroyed with enough noise from the average citizen- harassment and attraction are not mutually exclusive.

The mark of a civilised human being is to draw the line between the two. Problem is the lines between what's acceptable and what isn't have blurred to the point of invisibility. We either think two things- being sexual is wrong because it makes us look like perverts and that could get us imprisoned, or women aren't worth it altogether and we just take our own way.

Humans are hardwired to want each other. Attraction and intimacy are entirely natural.

BlackBirdG · 2020-08-10T16:54:50+00:00

Yeah we're all sexual beings and if someone turns us on, it's not really a bad thing even if they don't feel the same.

But honestly alot of people are sexually disingenuous and full of shit about their sexual desires.

2020-08-10T17:55:41+00:00

This is gonna sound dumb but sometimes as a man I feel like I’m disrespecting her by wanting it, even if I feel like the feeling is reciprocated.

vizualXmadman · 2020-08-10T21:29:25+00:00

shout out to modern-day media weaponizing sex and using against men

A man liking and wanting sex doesn't enforce some weird gender dynamics that only disjointed people believe. If a woman feels the same, she isn't a slut; she just like sex. The women who are sexually confident but sexually confident on the down-low are some of the fucking best; they're always powerful professional too; lawyers and business ladies and shit. So sexy

its human nature dammit

michiganwinter · 2020-08-10T21:37:00+00:00

Please inform my Wife.

Dominus-Prime- · 2020-08-10T20:42:10+00:00

This is a good reminder. Tap in men! Women love dick. Don’t forget it.

The issue is the current climate that is very anti-man. It used to be “toxic masculinity” which turned out to be a very vague concept and quite subjective. Now it’s morphed into all masculinity is toxic.

Don’t listen. I remember a study where they had women looking at pictures and videos of various archetypes of men. You know who were deemed the most appealing? The cocky, arrogant, “toxic”, chauvinistic men who were confident and comfortable with their sexuality and had an “I don’t care” attitude- even amongst the toughest purple-haired feminists.

Do NOT drink the kool-aid boys. It kills your balls and makes most women yearning for a real man.

throwawayjp2025 · 2020-08-10T20:17:25+00:00

I think the #MeToo movement is great so that women who have been sexually violated have a place to share their experience and reclaim their voice.

However, a metoo movement without the coupling with education on safety, consent, boundaries and aftercare is necessary otherwise we have a group of women who feel entitled to insult and degrade any notion of sexual energy between two people. Which may actually result from lack of knowledge or judgement, not always legit fear.

Iam_nameless · 2020-08-11T03:31:30+00:00

Instructions unclear: people who don’t want to have sex with me are now unnatural to me

tacticalassassin · 2020-08-11T04:08:08+00:00

Lol y’all act like sex is the easiest thing ever to get

Mortician69 · 2020-08-11T11:10:45+00:00

Even if the person you want to have sex with isn't your wife or husband?? Lol. I agree lol.😁Perfectly natural.

leilacarpenter10 · 2020-08-10T18:31:26+00:00

If a girl's feeling it for a guy and he sees it there's nothing more natural. If a guy's feeling it for a girl and she sees it and responds to it ditto. It's those little messages that get passed from one to the other that are either recognized and acknowledged or disrespected or even just not recognized and that's where the problem lies for some people it seems to me.

RaitheRedditor · 2020-08-10T19:53:38+00:00

I live with 2 incredibly Christian parents. They don’t talk about sex nor do they talk about intimacy. Whenever sex is brought up, they always see the dark parts of it (rape, sexual assault, basically any sexual suggestion/action that is not consensual). Ive learned through friends and education that sex (both talking about it and the actual act) is completely natural. Thank you for this reminder and I hope everyone has safe and healthy sex!!

CenaSmackDown · 2020-08-10T18:52:45+00:00

Some people feel ashamed for their sexual thoughts. They learn this type of reasoning from religion (which is trying to control you). Weird, when you don't normally feel ashamed at eating food, unless it's anything from Carl's Jr or Jack in the Box.

Carmelita-55 · 2020-08-10T17:41:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Acrimonious_cheese · 2020-08-10T18:19:00+00:00

absolutely natural.

i_never_get_mad · 2020-08-10T18:42:14+00:00

True. It’s just a matter of how one practices and/or expresses that desire.

Allison4476 · 2020-08-10T21:00:37+00:00

Even on the medical standpoint. It’s on the hierarchy of needs. Yes it’s an actual need not a want. Hell it’s up there with food and water!

shinn497 · 2020-08-10T21:41:03+00:00

It is good to hear that. I have actually been feeling a lot of sexual shame lately. From all of these articles of asshole men that can't take rejection to the many asexuals in my life. Feeling sexual desire just increasingly feels like something I should hide and not show anyone. And I am a man.

malwaremayhem · 2020-08-10T22:17:16+00:00

I've gone 7 years without because of this belief. Now I have no sex drive. Any advice on how to get it back?

Asa-Ryder · 2020-08-10T23:11:27+00:00

Short answer: yes!

LakersAreTerrible25 · 2020-08-10T23:17:41+00:00

Yes, that urge would go away though if men started doing semen rentention. Not for the bs benefits that some people say, but to learn how not to be so thirsty like a lot of guys tend to be. Ive been with enough women to know that sex will never supercede being about purpose and in the gym. If you can't go a day or two without nutting, then that's a serious addiction that should be addressed

YouAlright_Boah · 2020-08-10T23:27:44+00:00

nowadays sex for the average male involves a couple of tissues, lotion and a laptop.

firelitother · 2020-08-11T01:08:32+00:00

You are probably preaching to the choir. The societies who need to hear this the most aren’t receptive to the message.

Kiddmoon3000 · 2020-08-11T01:23:52+00:00

Breaking: water is wet

dkroetsch · 2020-08-11T02:59:53+00:00

I thought sex was supposed to be fun. Seems there comments take the fun out of it.Too complicated.

Carmelita-55 · 2020-08-11T03:13:38+00:00

I get that men are more sexual and need sex but it’s not an excuse to have their sexual urges control who they are to the point they dehumanise is and we become ambulant vaginas there to please them and oblige We react very well to genuine charm and consideration and don’t mind a mans confidence what we don’t want is that creepy sleaziness where we can feel radiating from the guy that need to release their load and we aren’t some breeding mares to put up With it Plenty of men I know have sex with different women each weekend and they do it by being attentive charmers who place her needs first and it works as I haven’t known him to fail at wooing a girl He never ever stopped being a gentleman and never made it upfront that he isn’t interested in her and just in her body We can tell when a guy is just after the body and it makes us equate men with animals in heat then they resent us and wonder why we complain Truth is we love being wooed and charmed we just don’t need the creepers who think they are owed sex

Pathocyte · 2020-08-11T09:07:50+00:00

It’s like our duty you know. Reproduce.

SettingIntentions · 2020-08-11T09:41:48+00:00

And they want to have sex, too!

blindgirl27 · 2020-08-11T10:16:14+00:00

Just when I’m having second thoughts about really wanting to have my first sex with my 3rd boyfriend but not wanting to get pregnant, this popped up in my notification. Thanks for the boost!

tired_of_lonely_life · 2020-08-11T19:44:53+00:00

I didn't get any shares in the Sex Corporation.

2020-12-05T04:44:57+00:00

Well, let’s be honest here. There’s a gender bias. And there always will be one until the end of time. It’s evolutionary.

toolmantimmy · 2020-08-10T21:37:37+00:00

Good post but not that simple.

slate22 · 2020-08-15T19:32:02+00:00

Yea I've struggled with this my entire life. Main reason why at one point the only way I could effectively talk to girls was at least 3 drinks in. Hoping to work on this in therapy but (other) personal issues and covid have kinda derailed that

Ducharbaine · 2020-08-10T19:31:36+00:00

Thes3 arw the kinds of women who judge you. Why care what they think? http://imgur.com/a/6S4DXr2.

Mel_gibsoned · 2020-08-10T18:39:12+00:00

I wish every women I see had the same mentality as yours

REMINDER: It is natural to want and to have sex. [recovered]

Comments

letsgeneralizeaboutwomen

Title	REMINDER: It is natural to want and to have sex. [recovered]
Author	JakeMullerRE [recovered]
Upvotes	1387
Comments	228
Date	August 10, 2020 4:11 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/i77rlb/reminder_it_is_natural_to_want_and_to_have_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/reminder-it-is-natural-to-want-and-to-have-sex.1500208 https://theredarchive.com/post/1500208